Lighting The Light Of Christ

Today I had a very fulfilling lesson with my Cathechism kids. Before Easter, we introduced the concept of the Paschal candle, and the children had a little hands-on session on making the paschal candle.

 

Today's lesson was an interactive one where we were lighting up the light of Christ. First we changed the prayer table, switching the cloth from purple to white. Then I placed the Paschal Candle in the middle of a tray, and asked one of the kids to light up the candle.

 

Next, I got everyone of the kids to take a tealight candle, light it and place their tealights next and around the Paschal Candle, while the song "Christ Be Our Light" was playing in the background. That was a solemn time as the kids were excitedly but quietly lighting up and placing their own candles.

 

After that I told them the significance of the candles - to light up the house and welcome Jesus into their lives. Jesus had resurrected and He would go to save them from sin. Okay, I know I sound too preachy now.

 

Then we turned to our bibles and read Matthew 28:1 to 7, on the empty tomb of Jesus and the coming of Jesus to his disciples. I explained the meaning of the verses, and then told them to do their journal reflections, on what does the lighting of the light of Christ mean to them?

 

Surprisingly, most of the kids gave very good answers. Their reflection was really spot on and they actually understood the gist of the whole lesson. I am really impressed and happy!

 

The end of the lesson, we had a closing prayer, and I got them to snuff out their candles, including the Paschal Candle one by one. I think the kids really love this lesson as it was interactive, and because they got involved, they were able to absorb the lesson more.

 

Not just them, even I. When reading their journal reflections, I also learnt from them, that how they felt when lighting the light of Christ, and how they felt Christ meant to them. You really have a lot to learn from kids! That is why I enjoy being with kids so much, as they really perk up one's life.

A Declaration Of Appropriate Behaviour

Another year has started, and today there was the annual meeting for Cathechists in my church. This year I would be moving up, taking on Primary Six kids from the previous three years in Primary Five, which means I would most likely be taking back the same batch of children from last year.

 

It was a fulfilling meeting. After all the hoo ha about the scandals in Rome, our revered Pope filtered down a rule to every (Catholic) church in the world, that those who are involved with faith formation of children have to sign a declaration.

 

Hence this year, anyone involved in ministries involving children, like Cathechism, Children's Ministry, Children's Choir, etc, have to sign the declaration. The declaration is a document outlining the "Appropriate Standard Behaviour" to follow where children are involved. By signing the declaration, we are binding ourselves to the promise that we will uphold the best and most appropriate behaviour when dealing with children.

 

I am not sure if this is even necessary. No doubt there had been some black sheep, but I believe generally most of us are there to serve. If we are there to serve, the higher calling is that God is watching us, and we are kind of doing God's work by evangelising to the children. So would any of us even think of harming those innocent kids? Still, I guess to have a peace of mind, we just need to sign and be bound to that.

 

In any case, I am looking forward to another year of journey with these kids. Hopefully they do not give me more trouble this year than last year!

Start Of A New Cathechism Class

Cathechism has started, and I went for class today. The first lesson was just to get to know the kids, administration stuff, introduction of ourselves and laying down the ground rules.

There are mire girls than boys this time round. Hopefully this will mean the class will be quieter and better behaved. The girls are quiet whereas the boys are the chatty and mischievous kinds, as always!

It will be the first official lesson next week. We have been told to prepare the topic "Letting God Into Our Lives". Interesting, but hard to bring across to the kids what is required.

I only hope this year will go better than last year and that there are fewer troublesome kids in the class for this year!

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Another Tutoring Job

Recently I took up another tutoring job. The one I took up last month is still ongoing, and the mother of the child has commented the boy has improved. This new job is for a kindergarten girl whose parents are from Russia, so my job is to teach her how to speak and read in English.

I realise she did not quite know her ABCs, so I spent the session revising the alphabet and reading her books to her. From what I can see, her parents are quite supportive. It is good to have supportive parents as that makes the job easier. On the other hand it also makes the job harder because the parents will then pick on the little things more.

Today's session was rather fruitful. At least the girl got to know her ABCs and pronunciation. I only hope she can remember all these when I go over again next week!

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Cathechical Sunday And Meeting

Today was Cathechical Sunday. Has it been a year already when I got inducted as a Cathechist? Today was the day when all the Cathechists got together. Our coordinators talked about the programs lined up for this year. Looks like it is going to be another busy year ahead!

After the meeting, we were put into different groups to discuss the levels we would be teaching. I will be taking the same level and time again, with the same partners, whereas Mr DC is lucky to follow his class up to Confirmation Two.

The whole meeting was followed by a mass, then lunch after that. Next week will be the official start of the Cathechism term. I hope and pray that this year's class will be a better lot than last year's!

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Door To Door Tuition

I have not given tuition for quite a while, except for the two-month stint at a tuition centre conducting English lessons for a group of four children earlier this year. I have always been looking out for tutoring assignments and have applied for quite a lot but most of the time I have not been able to get it.

Recently, I applied for a job tutoring a kindergarten boy English. He will be going to primary school next year. A week later the agent replied and said I got the job and was asked to start the first lesson today.

So I went over to the boy's abode earlier. He seems a rather bright boy, able to speak and read well. However there are some phonics and grammar which he is still unsure about and his mother would like him to familiarize himself with the consonants and pronunciation of the words.

Today, being the first lesson, I went through some reading and common words with him, then had a chat with the mother. Overall the boy is not too bad, except he cannot sit still like a typical kid. I have come across worse kids.

The agent initially fixed the tuition day as every Saturday, three in the afternoon, once a week, an hour and a half each. However I prefer not to disrupt Saturday afternoons so I had the time switched to every Tuesday at half past seven in the evening, so I can drop by after work, and the parent is fine with it.

This Tuesday will be my second lesson. Hopefully the next session will go smoother than this first one!

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Feasibility Of Natural Family Planning

After refreshing on the materials given during the Engaged Encounter, I came across the section on Natural Family Planning. We were supposed to register for this course and would be called once a class starts.

As Catholics, we were told not to use any form of contraceptives as we are not supposed to be stopping life. Which means if God wants us to have a child, He will give us one. We should not stop any possible life form.

To many people, they scoff at this. Natural Family Planning means trying for a child only during a woman's fertile period. Hence if you do not wish to have a child, then either abstain or make love during her non-fertile period. That is why many will feel this is actually the most ineffective way because there will still be a chance of conception.

The thing is, not every woman has a very regular period. Of course it will be wonderful if the cycle comes on time, then it will be easy to plot which days to abstain and which days are safe.

But what about those whose cycles are not regular? How do they chart when they have no idea when the cycle may start or if there will even be any in the following month?

The rationale of using Natural Family Planning is to foster better communication and respect for each other. In other words, if the couple is not yet ready to have a child, the wife can tell her husband which days to abstain. Which means if he wears a condom or asks her to pop a pill just to have sex and not have a child, then he is not showing respect towards her since he expects her to satisfy him whenever he desires and not willing to abstain for her.

I understand the rationale completely. I do agree with it too. With the concept of Natural Family Planning, the man will not be able to do as he pleases with the woman since both the husband and wife have to practice it. Hence there will be no side effects from the pill or patch, nor reduced stimulation from wearing a condom. Both can enjoy their sexual experience to the fullest.

But just how feasible is this? As I have mentioned, not every woman have such regular cycles that they can plot exactly. For those with irregular cycles, how would they know they are safe or fertile? So there is always a risk there.

Having children is one of the most wonderful things in the world, but still, that does not mean we continue producing year after year. I love kids, but one too many is a headache too. So if we really do practice Natural Family Planning, there may always be a risk of having too many kids. Afterall, no matter how regular a woman's cycle is, there will be times when she plots wrongly too.

We have not been called for the classes yet as that will be when we learn much more about this method. Right now, I am for Natural Family Planning, not just because I am a Catholic but also because of the rationale behind it. Perhaps after going through the class, I may be more affirmed.

But whichever it is, I just leave it in the hands of God. If He desires for me to have children in the future, then I believe He will give me accordingly in His time.

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Mass Behaviour

I am not a born Catholic, so I never attended mass when I was young, except once when my cousin-godma brought me to church along with her. But even then, she told me to be quiet and sit still.

When I first started attending mass, I was already of a sensible age, so I know I have to keep quiet in church since the church is a sacred place for people to pray. Hence I always tell my catehchism kids to behave in church.

Yet, I see the kids playing with each other, chatting, colouring, etc, in church, and the parents just ignoring them. Firstly, I think it is very rude if the priest is preaching and the kids are playing. Secondly, as parents, in order to bring up your kids in the right way, should they not discipline or instruct the kids on proper mass behaviour?

If the parents themselves do not instil in the kids since young that the church is a sacred place and they need to respect God and the priest, then it is no wonder many kids nowadays lost meaning in their religion and rather convert into something else or stop going to church altogether.

I am not saying there is anything wrong to convert. All I am saying is that, if being a Catholic has lost its meaning to the person because he has not been shown the right example, then there is no faulting him if he wants to convert or drop out. Of course, if the kid has been brought up properly and he still chooses to convert or drop out, then it is his choice as an adult.

I feel parents should be the first educators of the kids. Teachers, cathechists, tutors and whatnot can only do so much but if the parents do not do anything, then the kids may not be brought up with the right and proper values in them.

I know it is not up to me to judge since I have never had a kid, but still, it is rather common sensical, is it not? Even when one has a pet, one also has to discipline the pet and teach it proper ways so the pet can behave. What more with children, especially in this day and age when there are so many environmental and external influences?

This makes me determined that when I ever have my own kids in the future, I will try my best to inculcate them the right and proper values and behaviour. I know it is not easy, but I will try to remind myself to do that.

First Tuition Class

I just finished my first tuition class. The class consists of only four Primary One kids, ie. about six to eight years of age, three boys and one girl. The tuition centre actually had lessons prepared and I just needed to go according to the lesson plan. There is even a reward system - the kids will get a stamp on every good behaviour and work.

Today's lesson was on a word scramble, which I played "Hangman" with the kids with in order to unscramble the words. There were also fill-in-the-blanks, a cloze passage consisting of two choices each and a comprehension.

I must say, for Primary One, the worksheet seems a bit too high standard. Or maybe the kids I used to teach were too low standard. I have had kids who when they went to school, did not even know how to write their names, their ABCs or speak any English, let alone recognise English words! But in the class I just tutored, the kids even know the difference between singular and plural, and past tense and present tense. Impressive!

These are the kids who can recognise words like "scientist" and "enclosures", and know the difference between "fortunately" and "unfortunately" at the young age of six! Really impressive! I think some adults may not even know these words! You can be surprised the kind of people I have met who think my English is too "high-class" for them when I do not even use bombastic language!

Still, it was a really enjoyable class. Maybe it was the first lesson so the kids were relatively well-behaved. Perhaps one month down the road, I would be screaming my head off at them already. But this lesson made me realise I miss bring around children. It is really such a joy being able to impart knowledge and help children this way!

Tutoring Again ....

Yesterday, I received a call asking if I would be keen to take up an assignment at a tuition centre starting this Sunday (tomorrow). Ever since I was a student, I had been tutoring and giving music lessons to supplement myself since I did not wish to take any pocket money from my parents. It started with three assignments, then two, then a brother and brother team, then a brother and sister team, then one, and finally there was none.

Still, I have never given up the thought of tutoring because I still want to work with children. Ever since I left the education industry, somehow my marketability as a tutor went down as parents prefer those who are still currently in the industry. However, if I am to tutor again, I can still command rather attractive rates because of my qualifications and experience.

I have applied to various tuition agencies and centres, but never had any assignments. So when the call came earlier, I was surprised but also glad. The timing is on Sunday early afternoon, which suits me pretty well since it is late enough to go after church, but still early enough to be able to do things after the class. Best thing is that the tuition centre is very near my place!

After the agent called me, the guy from the tuition centre called me. He asked me to go for an interview this morning to assess my qualifications and experience. When I went there in the morning, I was put through a job interview, asking about my specialisation, course of study, and the photocopying of my certificates. After that, he said I could start tomorrow, and will be paying me the rate which I commanded the last time round!

I am so happy I got this job! At least I can now do something more meaningful with my time, and can earn extra income to be able to save up more at a faster rate! I hope everything goes well tomorrow!

Stories About Motherhood

This was supposed to be up on Mother's Day itself but I have been tied up with revision, and I am still behind! In any case last Sunday, we watched two great movies about motherhood - "Mother And Child" and "The Backup Plan".

"Mother And Child" is about three women whose lives intertwined through adoption. A fourteen-year-old girl was found pregnant, and had to give up the baby for adoption. The incident affected her and she became bitter and distrustful. Years later, she met a man and started to trust again. They married and his own daughter encouraged her to look for her long-lost daughter.

Meanwhile her daughter Elizabeth, who had known all her life that her mother abandoned her and felt belonged to no one, became an ambitious loner who slept her way to the top. But when she became pregnant, she decided to keep her baby and look for her real mother.

In comes Lucy, who had been trying in vain to have a baby for four years and decided to adopt as she wanted badly to be a mother. Her husband would like a boy so they decided to adopt a boy. They met up with a twenty-year-old unwed mother who is willing to give up her son for adoption upon giving birth.

But Lucy's husband scorned her for not being able to have a child and they divorced. She decided to go ahead and adopt the unborn baby. Unfortunately, the girl refused to give up her baby after giving birth.

Lucy was despondent. Just when she was losing hope, news came of another baby for adoption. Elizabeth had died in childbirth due to complications in pregnancy and her baby girl was then offered to Lucy for adoption, who accepted immediately.

One year later, Elizabeth's mother, who all along had been looking for her, finally got some news due to a little administration confusion at the orphanage where she enquired. She realised her own daughter had died but had given her a granddaughter who happened to live just a few houses away from her!

She then went to visit Lucy and the little girl Ella. Seeing her, it was as if her own daughter had come back. Finally she is in peace with herself.

I cried after watching the show. No matter what they are, mothers are really the greatest. A mother will never forget her own child, no matter how little time she had with the child. A mother will always put her child first, even to the extent of giving up her life just so the child can live.

I believe as a woman, each of us do hope to become a mother one day. Some choose to adopt to experience motherhood. Some, like Jennifer Lopez's character in "The Backup Plan", choose to artificially inseminate so she can be a mother after giving up meeting the right man.

That is why married women have said they feel happiest and most complete when they are pregnant, and not when they are married. So let us give our mothers a big salute!

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Should Child Criminals Be Given A Second Chance?

I just finished a very thought-provoking show called "Boy A". As I need to rush assignments for the weekend, he brought over a disc he borrowed and we watched it in between breaks.

The show is about how a child criminal who was thought to be involved in the murder of a girl when he was only eleven, was released from prison upon his adulthood. His social worker then gave him a new name and a new identity, even finding a job for him and helping him fit back into society.

I wonder if any of you remember this case around fifteen years back, on two ten-year-old boys who kidnapped and killed a toddler? This happened in England. The two boys were put on trial and convicted of murder, hence thrown into jail. But they were released around ten years later upon reaching adulthood.

I wonder what happened to them? I know they were given anonymity and then moved elsewhere. But were they given a second chance? Were people still out for their blood?

When you commit a crime, specifically killing someone, as an adult, you will either be hanged or sentenced to life imprisonment, at least in the local context. But the law gives allowances for underage criminals.

About ten years back we had a case where this guy plotted with a teenager to kill his wife to get her insurance money. The teenager then stabbed his wife to death. The guy thought he could get away but being the mastermind, he was hanged. No compassion was shown to him when the verdict was out.

The teenager, being underage, escaped the death penalty. But because he is of sensible age and knew fully well what he was doing, he was sentenced to jail "to be kept at the President's pleasure", which means he may still have a chance to be released. He is probably still in jail.

If he is ever released, I wonder how society will view him? Should he be given another chance? Society does not take kindly to murderers and rapists. People are relatively more tolerant if you were jailed for a minor crime than a capital offence, especially if you murdered or raped just for kicks.

If the boy was ever released, what then? Would he be able to start life over? In any case, he is no longer a boy. He should be in his early twenties by now. Would he be given a new identity and released under anonymity?

Back to the show, the repented child criminal wanted to start life over. He got along well with his co-workers. He saved a little girl in a car crash. He became a little hero amongst his friends. He found a girlfriend.

Then his identity was blown. As a result, whatever good he had done and however well-liked he was, turned around overnight. He was fired from his job, his friends distanced themselves away and his girlfriend went away.

He felt the stigma of his past would always be there so he decided to go away once and for all. Before that he left messages to everyone telling them goodbye.

If only people are not so judgmental, would it turn out this way? I guess people will always be judgmental, but does it mean no one deserves another chance? Who is totally faultless? I am pretty sure many of us lie and manipulate to get our way, even to the extent of backstabbing.

So who are we to label others as such? It is already hard to survive in society as it is, and even harder for someone with a criminal record. People like us should not make it any harder.

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First Day Of Cathechism

Yesterday was my first day as a Cathechist. I went into the classroom at the stipulated time and found most of the kids already seated and waiting.

I was apprehensive initially. Afterall it had been so long since I last stepped into a classroom full of kids. Besides kids nowadays are no longer as well-behaved as before. They now listen to mass media and computer games more than their parents and teachers.

So I went into the class without knowing what to expect. Luckily there are three other cathechists who are experienced enough to lead me throughout so I was not totally lost too!

Since it was the first lesson, we took attendance, asked the kids to introduce themselves and we introduced ourselves in turn. Then we settled some administrative matters and briefed them on mass procedures.

These are ten to eleven year old kids, so they are already articulate and sensible, but not too old to be really rebellious yet.

Facing the class made me kind of miss the classroom and teaching kids. Somehow I think the corporate world, despite making me a bit more street smart, also kills off the childlike side of me, which I hope can rekindle with these kids.

I believe I am going to love this. Really looking forward to the weeks ahead!

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Rempang Teaching Mission

I have always wanted to go on a mission trip. It is not just mere donating money to good causes, but actually going down to a site to help out in terms of building homes and whatnot. So when a friend told me about a voluntary teaching trip to Rempang, I jumped at the opportunity. Thank goodness my dear is of the same consensus, so he not only supports me, but goes along for the mission trip too!

Thus on Sunday 18th October, we all woke up early and took a ferry to Batam. Then a van to Rempang. The school is in the premises of a church, which does not really look like a church, just some wooden makeshift houses on a grassy field.

I think this must be what those old village or kampung schools used to look like, something I never had the priviledge of seeing, as when I was born, my country is already rather cosmopolitan.

Hence the teaching trip is an eye-opener and enriching experience for me. To be in a wooden classroom with wooden desks and chairs. To see a blackboard (how long have I not seen one?!) and chalk. To be in an area with no electricity and water being pumped out from somewhere. And flies infested!

Things like these make one realise just how lucky and fortunate the students here are. Yet why is it that there are so many here who take their education and good facilities for granted? We never had a blackboard since the early 1990s, all classrooms have been switched to whiteboards and markers.

We never had a fly-infested classroom. The classrooms all had brights lights and strong fans, yet we hear students complaining of how hot and stuffy the classrooms are, with high percentage of myopia among kids.

We never had to read by candlelight, yet we hear of people here who shun reading and claim it is the most boring thing in the world! We never had to use hand-me-down stationeries and books, yet we hear of students here complaining just because they do not like the colour of a certain textbook or pencil and pen!

Sometimes students ought to go for exchange programs in places like these to see just how fortunate they really are! Anyway here are some pictures of the school grounds :

The entrance of the school

Some of the classrooms

I was assigned to a Primary Four class. The students will be taking their English oral examinations soon, so my task was to give them a mock oral exam. It was actually the same as the syllabus here - reading aloud, comprehension and picture description.

The students I tested were all able to read and recognise the words. Of course the pronunciation and intonation were a bit off, but considering their backgrounds, they were pretty good already. There are students here with English education but still not able to pronounce anything properly!

Their comprehension was okay, as in they were able to grasp the passage and knew where to find the answers. However, it was hard for them to describe the picture. It needed lots of prompting from me before they could describe it.

All in all, I am really glad I went for this! Even though it was just a two-hour lesson, I have not lost my touch after being out of the education industry for so long. Being around kids again really make me yearn to do more for them!

The whole thing wrapped up about one o'clock and we then took the van back to the Batam Ferry Terminal. There is a mall opposite the Ferry Terminal, so we went for lunch and did some shopping there before catching the ferry at five.

My dear and I had lunch at A&W, something which can never be found here again! I really miss the food there, especially the root beer float! Lunch was a chicken set with curly fries and root beer.

A&W lunch

I miss the cuddly bear from A&W!

Overall it was a really fruitful day! I hope to have the opportunity to do that again - able to help others as well as helping myself at the same time.

Our Feisty Princess - Please Help!

I am supposed to be on a break until further notice, but this is an exception. This little girl needs our help! It is never too early or too late to reach out to those in need. I have not been doing much to outreach as it is, so I hope to do my part in whichever way I can! Please help if you can! Click on the banner here or on the top of this page, or the badge on my side bar to see how you can contribute! It will greatly help the family!

This reminds me of the Whitney Houston's song "Greatest Love Of All" which I have always loved. I remember singing this song years ago when I was still in the education line. The lyrics are as follows :

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me

The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me

The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

And the song is here :

the greatest love of all songs
free Music downloads | Free Mp3 downloads!

Yes, children are the future, and for a little girl to suffer before she has even had the chance to go to school and see the world, it is really heart-wrenching indeed! So please help in any way you can!

Meanwhile, till next time, continue living your life to the fullest! :-)

Magic ....

Not The Gathering, but the science of illusion. Today, I was one of ten volunteers from my company to chaperone a group of children to the Science Centre for a free and easy tour as well as a magic show. It had been so long since I last went to the Science Centre, in fact, the last time I went there was about two years back when I went for the Star Wars Exhibition. Thus, I am astounded at the number of changes the Science Centre has.

We reached the Science Centre about ten in the morning, and were given a group of kids. There were three volunteers per group, and my group consisted of five teenage girls about eleven to thirteen years. It is livelier to be with younger kids because on one hand, even though they irritate the hell out of you with their endless questions, on the other hand, their innocence is absolutely charming!

They will stick with you and follow you around and just listen to your instructions obediently, whereas older kids have a mind of their own, so I ended up following the girls around instead! Still, there are all obedient and not kick up too much fuss when we had to gather all of them together.

The magic show was at noon, so there was some wandering around before that. I brought the girls to the display of Human Body, Virus, Sound Waves, Ultrasound systems, etc, before we sat down for a thunderbolt display and the magic show after that. It reminded me of my own school days where there were trips to the Science Centre almost every year! If I remember, my parents used to order the "Young Scientist" magazine for me and signed me up as a member of the Science Centre, but I did not utilise what I learnt from there. :-p

The highlight of the trip was the magic show. It was a young magician and he is really good! The tricks and illusions he displayed captivated even the adults, let alone the kids! I seriously wonder how he did all those tricks? But then again, a magician will never reveal the tricks of the trade, although I daresay once we learn the tricks, we would realise that the illusions were really nothing much to be in such a hype about!

Lunch was McDonald's (what else?), so I had my fill of Filet O Fish and apple pie. Since we were volunteers, transport and lunch was provided by the organisers. After lunch, we distributed gifts to the kids. At least they went back happy, and I went back happy too! A worthwhile day indeed, time off from work, hanging out with kids and making others happy at the same time, not to mention free entry into the Science Centre and a spectacular Magic Show. What can be better than this?

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The Spirit Of Christmas ....

A few days back, I signed up as a volunteer to chaperone kids around the ages of six to eighteen to watch a Magic / Illusion show as a Christmas event in December. The kids are from Melrose Place, under the Children’s Aid Society. Somehow my company is involved and asking for ten volunteers to help out. Volunteers will be given time off from work and transport will be provided.

From my experience in the education industry, it is really frustrating to take care of kids as they run amok all over, and it takes lots of energy to keep up with them. I wonder if I still have the energy, being out of the industry for so long now? In any case, it is a good thing to do, so I have no qualms helping out.

The thing is, when the person in charge sent out the email asking for volunteers, people have a choice whether to read the mail or not, to help out or not. If one does not wish to help, so be it. Why must people get on the high horse and start preaching, especially about religious issues? This colleague actually sent out a mail to everyone, saying how she is not in favour of this activity as magic is considered the dark arts, it symbolizes Satan and the devil and even quoted the particular scripture from the Bible on how it is a sin to deal with magic.

Must anyone go to that extent? As far as anyone else is concerned, it is just to make the kids happy, as these kids come from single, dysfunctional or broken homes, thus need the extra care. To me, making kids happy and doing a good deed far outweigh any possibility of being cast to hell due to involvement in the dark arts. In any case, it is just a show, not that I am doing it myself.

True, there should be respect and tolerance between religions, but where do we draw the line? Do we get so sensitive about every little issue, or misquote the scriptures or think everything is satanic? As a believer, and one who is quite familiar with the Bible, I know I have been doing a lot of things that are not within biblical teachings. It is fine, I am prepared to go to Hell anyway.

I am not saying volunteering to help in something meaningful is doing a noble thing (although it is). I believe anyone will help out. It is just one day, bring the kids there and back, ensure they are alright and just look out for them. The smiles and gratitude on the kids’ faces are priceless!

So, despite freedom of speech, why must people then kick up a fuss if the kids can be happy and enjoy themselves for once, and see something which their parents will probably never bring them to? Besides this is Christmas! What better way to spread the spirit and joy of Christmas than to make others happy in the process? It is the season of love, so what better way to spread love than give love?

Beyond Parental Control?

The headline in the New Paper yesterday had me rolled over in laughter. Perhaps I am mean to laugh, but after the stupidity of people, one cannot help but laugh. Hello, the kid is only seven, refused to go to school, wanted to stay at home and play instead, and the parents dragged him to court on the basis of Beyond Parental Control?!

Now, which seven-year-old kid with the right mind would enjoy going to school? Even for eight-year-old kids and nine-year-old kids, even university students, most will not want to attend school if they can help it!

Truancy is everywhere, NOT that I am condoning it. Going to school and attending classes are what responsible students should do, but face it, how many people have skipped a bit of classes here and there?

I know I am one of them. I have skipped lectures and tutorials, even cutting classes in my younger days. I am not so perfect that I attend all lectures and tutorials, but I do not do that all the time though. At least I definitely do not skip any classes now!

Anyway, back to the article. Apparently, more and more parents are turning to the juvenile courts to help control and discipline the children, some over very minor matters. Needless to say, the courts threw out most of the cases.

Which makes me wonder, as parents, is it not their responsibilities to care for and discipline their own children, instead of turning to schools and courts to help discipline the kids? What roles are the parents playing if they need outside help to guide their children on the right tracks?

I believe it is not easy bringing up a child, not that I have first hand experience in it, at least not at this point in time. But if a couple brings a child into the world, then it is their commitment and responsibility to ensure the child grows up well right?

In this, I do not mean just material needs. It is not just a matter of ensuring the child is well-fed, well-clothed, attends school and does the homework. It is the nurturing of a child's mind and development, like guiding him on the right track, what is right and wrong, how to behave, what to do.

It is no use just bringing a child into the world, then neglects him totally and thinking just by feeding, clothing and giving him money is sufficient. If there is no guidance from home, of course he will try to find acceptance and guidance outside, and by the time he starts being a delinquent, perhaps it may be too late.

Part of getting married is for procreation, but then once a couple has a child, they have to be prepared that it is not just a simple matter of giving birth and that is it. Although it is sad indeed that many couples I know are still unwilling to have children, but at the end of it all, a child will brighten up a couple's life. One just have to adapt accordingly and ensure they make the commitment to bring up the child well in all aspects, and not just materially.

Sponsoring A Child

After many months of deliberation, I have finally made a very big commitment. I signed up for the World Vision Child Sponsorship project. This is a very big step for me, as I still have doubts as to whether I can fully sponsor a child given my limited capacity.

What made me finally decide to take the plunge? Since last year, I have wanted to do something for abandoned or under-priviledged kids, to let them have a better life. I was deliberating adoption initially, but then adoption is taking care of a child, bringing him / her up, and giving him / her the best. To a child, what better gift than to have a complete family for him / her to grow up in? And if I am not able to achieve that, it is better not to go through with it.

The next alternative would be to sponsor a child, be it in terms of education or welfare or medical expenses. There are so many poor children in the world with sickly parents, who cannot afford medical fees or to go to school. And World Vision does just that - identify children around the world who need help, and source for sponsors to help these children.

The money does not go to the child's parents for them to upgrade to a better living standard. Rather, the money goes to a local representative, who will then apportionate the amount for the child in terms of education, medical, food and lodgings. The child can communicate with the sponsor by sending letters, and the sponsor can also send letters, cards or gifts to the child, but no money is to be sent (besides the monthly contributions).

The child I am sponsoring is a seven-year-old girl from a village in the Philippines. Even though I have committed, there are still apprehension. This is a life-long commitment, or at least until the child has grown to a suitable age and the family situation improves. I cannot state that I want to contribute, then a while later stop the contribution. It is just not right. If I am to do it, I have to do it right and continuously. And for now, I am unsure of just how long I can continue this commitment.

But if I can make a difference to just one person's life, no matter how young, that is an achievement already. So I told myself that by hook or by crook, I have to continue the sponsorship, as I have the ability to make a person (or family) life better. And that is the whole issue - to give back to society what I have taken from it, and to help the less priviledged and let them know they are not alone.

Bringing Up Children ....

So I have been running around entertaining guests the past few days. We brought our guest and Australian relatives out for dinner, went over to my grandmother's house to interact with them, and catch up with each other's lives. It has been a mad rush, but rather wonderful as I can get to spend time with people close to me.

I never realise this, but when I sit back and observe objectively, I realise that my Australian cousins are brought up differently. I do not mean brought up differently like they are brought up the Western way, and we the Asian way, but "different" as in all three of them are brought up differently.

The eldest one got more scoldings and reprimands than anyone else. I witnessed it myself in the past when the whole family came and the parents were extra harsh on him. Is it because he is the eldest? Somehow it seems like the eldest child gets the brunt of the parents' harsh words and strict upbringing, but the youngest child gets the affection and love. I see it in my own family too.

The second one has more freedom to do what he likes, just like my first brother. The youngest one is more protected by the parents, who still view him as their baby, even though he is already an adult. This seems to be the same for my youngest brother too.

I wonder if the parents themselves know about the different treatment of the children? I guess every child is different, so maybe the parents treat each child according to his / her character and personality. But by doing this, they may show that they are favouring one child over another, and no child will feel good about it (except for the one being "favoured").

I used to tell my mum that she blatantly favours my youngest brother over any of us. She denies it vehemently. At that point in time, I refused to believe and felt that of course she would deny, as no one would ever admit they are treating people unfairly, even though it may be very obvious.

But after hearing how my friends and cousins bring up their children, why some kids get more punishment and others can get away with just a light reprimand, I can understand a little. Some kids are just more mischevious, and without harsher punishments, they may not learn their lessons. Some are by nature better behaved, so the occasional once-in-a-while accidents will be more easily overlooked.

Parents are humans after all, thus when bringing up their children, they tend to treat each one differently. One rule cannot be for all. How you treat this child may not necessary work on another child. I know that too well after my teaching stint. One cannot treat every child the same way, because each child is different from the next.

Still, I wish my parents can treat us the same way, now that we are all grown. I would so love for them to show me the affection like how they always show my youngest brother. As I reflect back on how I was brought up, I start to wonder just exactly what constitutes as being well brought-up? How far should parents go for their children?

There are parents who do everything for the children. The children need not worry about a thing, and even after these children start working, the parents will still be at their backs, encouraging them, ensuring they are well-protected, making sure no one bullies their little darlings.

These children then grow up sheltered and not knowing what to do. My mum told me that there are cases where one of her subordinates just started work, and they were in a brainstorming session. No one accepted her ideas. She got really upset as apparently, back at home, she could do anything she likes and whatever she said will always be accepted. So she went home to complain to her parents that she felt so insulted, and the next day her dad came and tendered her resignation for her.

There are also instances where scholars or those under bond did not like what they were doing, so wanted to get out, and the parents signed a cheque of a large sum of money just to pay back their bonds. My parents will never go to that extent for me, so in a way, I do admire these parents for willing to do that for their children.

My parents believe in sheltering me, not allowing me to do lots of things. While growing up, I was almost grounded, not allowed to go anywhere or do anything. I was not allowed to watch any television, go for any movies, have my own radio and listen to music, or talk on the phone.

I was also not allowed to go out to the beach and cycle or roller-blade, or bowl with my friends. I was also not brought out to do sports like running or tennis or squash. The only sports I was allowed was swimming, as my mum view that as a survival skill, not unnecessary recreation. I was not even allowed to read, although I read as much as I could while they were not around me.

All I could do was to go to school, go for enrichment lessons, go home, do my homework, study. This went on for a large part of my student life, until I completed secondary school, and after that, I rebelled. It was then I started going out with my friends for meals and movies and bowling, although not too often since my own allowance was limited.

Which explains why up to now, I still cannot really cycle and totally cannot roller-blade, because I am not like the kids nowadays who start from young. I also started learning tennis and squash only at an older age, which also explains why no one wants to play with me, since it is harder to pick up a new skill the older one gets.

So when our house guest wanted to go roller-blading, I was too embarrassed to tell her I cannot do it. I saw kids as young as six cycling and roller-blading away like an expert, and I was struggling to even balance the bicycle, and I felt so embarrassed. Worse is that these kids and their parents looked at me as if I was some sort of imbecile since I could not cycle.

I should not say that my parents did a bad job. It is never easy bringing up children as one wrong move can destroy their lives and future completely. To me, I feel if I am to be a parent, then I do it to the best of my ability, instead of just bringing a child into the world and then totally neglecting him / her. At least from my own experiences, I can see which are the ones I never liked, and bring up my own children in a better way, ie letting them experience as much as possible while still young. I do not wish any of my kids to be like me, not knowing how to do a lot of things and missing out so much in life.