All In A Mess ....

I have been feeling weak for quite some time. I thought it was due to my surgery, then depression and stress, but it has been some time and I still feel like this. Thus, I took some time to see a doctor yesterday, and he gave me some news that are not exactly hopeful.

So I had to go back for more tests before everything can be confirmed. If it is what I think it is, then I will be in deep trouble, not to mention what to tell my parents should it be true, as we have already lost two family members at an even younger age.

If my greatest fear comes true, wonder if I will make it to my birthday next year? At least I believe I can pass my birthday this year, but will my hair then start dropping out by next year? I have seen how my late cousin suffered, and I pray that I will never suffer the same fate.

On the home front, I feel like suing the contractors. I thought the bathrooms have finally been fixed, but last week, they had to do more drilling, knocking and other what-nots. So now both the bathrooms upstairs are out of function and we have to go back to sharing the one downstairs.

It would not be that bad, except the fact that because of the work being done on the bathrooms upstairs, the water supply has to be cut by half. As a result, we have no hot water for the whole week. And we have to shower with very weak water.

Perhaps my recent sickness can be due to this. Smell of paint lingering in the room, tantamount to sniffing glue everyday, cold water for showering despite the occasional heavy rain, and dirt and dust in the air from all the renovation works going on culminated in all the on-off headaches, dizziness and fever I have been having.

The contractors are sure taking their time! My mum and I have feedbacked several times, but nothing has changed. How can our house be still in a state of living when all these major renovations are going on?

Everything is still in such a mess from the painting and the knocking. How I wish all will end soon and our house can go back to normal, the house I am so used to.

My house may not be the best and warmest home, but it is the place I go back to and relax after a hard day of work, the place I can hide and seek solitude when I am depressed, and the haven I can retreat into when I am lonely.

A Whiter Shade Of Green

Green is a soothing colour. It represents the trees and grass, the main source of oxygen and fresh air we breathe in, and it is good on our eyes. Being a secondary colour, it can come in many vibrant shades – from pale turquoise to bright forest green.

The walls of the rooms of the second floor of my house have been painted Whisper Green. The painting job is still on-going, as the contractors are left with the walls of the first floor.

The colour is very light green, so pale that it looks almost white. My room was completed yesterday, and I could hardly sleep a wink last night due to the lingering smell of paint.

Now that my room has a tinge of greenish hue, it seems more soothing at night and during the day. The ultraviolet light reflecting off the walls are not as blinding anymore, and it has an overall cooling feeling to it. It makes me seem more relaxed, calm and peaceful.

Maybe it is all in the mind, but now I feel my room is in a better state to make major decisions, since it gives me a cool and laid-back feeling, not as stressful and tired as before. And making a decision is just what I need to do.

I started work yesterday. It is a small firm, thus not as structured as bigger firms. Anyway, every company functions differently. What I find strange is that I have started work, and yet have not even signed the Letter of Offer, which means I have no idea about my pay, benefits and welfare.

Besides, the director I am working for was sick yesterday, so he was not in office. And no one knew I was even starting work yesterday, so there was a bit of confusion for the beginning of the day.

Other than that, my first day of work saw me clearing away and sorting out lots of backlog. Now why can the handover not be done properly before I start work? I have to come on Saturday mornings and stay late some weekends just for my predecessor to come back and brief me.

But at the end of the day, I received a call from one of the big companies I interviewed for. They asked if I am still keen on the position as they are considering me. I answered in the affirmative.

Of course, if that company confirms the offer with me, I will definitely take up the job. I always like to go in-house, and besides, working in a big company will have better prospects, development, learning, benefits and welfare, not to mention a better structure.

But in that case, what is to become of this current job? It will be a little unfair if I jump ship so fast, especially since a verbal confirmation is deemed as actual confirmation, only not contractual binding as a signed letter.

On the other hand, how often can one have the opportunity to work in a big company? I believe most people will take the better offer. I just feel bad that I am playing out my current company for leaving so fast if I do get the offer.

Besides, working in a big company may not be all a bed of roses. The prospects and everything is there, but the stress and politics are much more intense than in a smaller firm. Which is why I need to make a decision on whether to stay or go if I do get the confirmation.

Updates For The Moment

I went for a post-mortem..... ooops, I meant a post-operation checkup earlier on. The doctor told me that my body is back to normal, everything is functioning very well. He commended that I am healing at an amazing rate.

Hmmmm..... the bad news is that because I can go back to normal so fast, I am highly prone to get the same thing again if I am not careful, especially since I have already gotten it once. And the next time I get it may be more complicated. Hence I need to be stricter with myself and my lifestyle from now on.

And to prevent infection, he told me no sports, especially no swimming for the next two weeks, because water, especially those used by anyone, generate the most germs. Which means I cannot enjoy the hot springs during my Japan trip! :-(

My mum and I went to the tour agency to attend the briefing for the trip yesterday. The temperature there is about twelve to twenty degree celsius, a big change from our unbearably hot weather lately.

Seems like the temperature has gone above thirty for the past few days, which accounts for my constant perspiration even when I sleep in the buff in an air-conditioned room at night. If the temperature goes even higher, I may just walk around naked!

The worst thing is that starting today, my house is undergoing intensive renovation. At first it was only my parents' bathroom, but now, even my bathroom is out of function, as the water seeps out into the second-floor hallway and the bottom of our bookshelves are wet, since we have a whole row of bookshelves just outside the bathroom.

So now we have to use the small bathroom next to the kitchen, the one which my maid and grandma uses. I do not mind actually, but my brother keeps complaining that he cannot believe six or seven people have to share one bathroom.

I told him if we are staying in a flat, there will most likely be just one bathroom, and everyone has to use the same one, so stop complaining. The only gripe I have is that if I ever need to wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I have to go all the way downstairs, past the dining room and kitchen before I can reach the bathroom. Which means no more sleeping in the buff for me!

Thus, my parents decide to just redo the whole house. Revamp the two bathrooms upstairs, fix up the cracks in the walls outside, repaint the whole house (both outside and inside), replace the chandelier in the living room (hope they get a more sparkling one this time), fix up the dining room. So from today onwards, I have to put up with all the drilling, dust and noise.

This week I will need to prepare for my Japan trip. I have already packed all the appropriate clothes, long-sleeved, sweatshirts, sweaters, jeans, turtlenecks, moisturiser, sunscreen, lip balm, toiletries.

I need to get an adapter for my camera charger, since we are using 240V, but the power circuit in Japan is using a voltage of 110 / 220. I do not wish to short-circuit their system and spoil my camera and battery at the same time!

I also need to rent a handset, since my quad-band phone cannot be used in Japan due to difference in network. Strange, I was told the phone is quad-band, even better than tri-band, so can be used in America, Canada, Mexico, Zimbabwe, Timbuctoo, even the Arctic and Antarctic, and yet it cannot be used in Japan and Korea?!

And in order to send out messages, I need to get a 3G phone, instead of a normal one. The network service provider has to configure the phone to the Japanese network, but their messaging system is also different, so if I just rent a normal phone, I can only make calls but no messaging. Only a 3G phone can detect the network automatically. Then I can message my guy everyday!

So this will be a rather busy week for me. Hopefully I can spend more time with him before I go off, and also to meet a certain friend for dinner at a certain Indonesian restaurant. (Wonder if he has read my post which is entirely dedicated to him?)

Oh, I just received the hospital bill. And I realise I am getting broke! The breakdown of my expenses for this month :

Hospitalisation and Surgery - S$2,000.00
Trip to Japan (for everything, ie airfare, tips, own expenses, meals) - S$3,500.00 per person
Course fees for this semester (which I may have to defer due to my condition) - S$2,000.00

And my status? JOBLESS! I am going to be in real trouble soon!