Love Story With A Twist

My first brother is leaving again after my cousin's wedding this week, so I decided to bring him to watch a movie yesterday as a last get-together. Thus after meeting a friend for lunch, I met him at the mall where my mum brought my brothers for a meal of western cuisine.

We initially wanted to watch just one movie, "Brokeback Mountain", but since time allowed, we squeezed in another movie, "Casanova", as well. Come to think of it, I actually watched two shows starring Heath Ledger in a day. Not bad actually, although I would much prefer it if it is Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom.

Heath Ledger is quite versatile. While in "Brokeback Mountain" he plays a gruff, silent cowboy who has messed-up emotions but remained true to his true love, in "Casanova" he is a suave, charming playboy who has just as messed-up emotions but changed for the one woman he really fell for.

The two movies are of different genres (one a heart-wrenching drama and the other a light-hearted romantic comedy), but one element that is common to both shows is love. In "Brokeback Mountain", the movie conveys a message that true love can transcend even genders, and one does not know how to really treasure one's love until he is gone.

In "Casanova", he finally finds it meaningless to conquer so many women, and decide to turn over a new leaf and be faithful to the one woman he truly loves. He goes so far as to be willing to die for her, and that was when the lady in question realises he is true to her.

Heath Ledger's character (Ennis) in "Brokeback Mountain" knows his feelings for Jack Gyllenhaal's character (Jack) is true, but he tried to suppress them in light of social discrimination, and led a normal life with a wife and two daughters, until she divorced him for a richer man.

Jack married the daughter of a rich man and they have a son. However the two guys never let go of their feelings for each other, and looked forward to the yearly rendezvous back in Brokeback Mountain where they could then consummate their love for each other, while telling their wives they were off "fishing" or "hunting".

The end of the movie really brought tears in my eyes as it was on Ennis receiving the news of Jack's death, and he started to regret the way he treated Jack so shabbily (often refusing his requests to meet up more often by giving numerous excuses so as not to be found out). He realised just how much he loved Jack only after he is gone.

The entire movie is essentially a love story, the couple in question quarrels like any other couple. There is jealousy, adultery, passion, torture on the little time they manage to get away and meet each other, joy and happiness taht the partner has divorced, craving and pining for each other, tears and hysterics when they separate.

In other words, there are all the petty tiffs and everything that a couple truly in love will do, except this couple in question are both of the same gender. Normally in an unorthodox relationship such as this, one will think that one of them is the more masculine and the other the more effeminate, but in this case it is not true.

Both guys are as manly as can be. They are good husbands, good fathers, good providers and care-givers to the family. Even when Ennis divorced and his ex-wife got the custody of the girls, he would still yearn to see them, take them out and spend time with them.

Jack teaches his son how to ride the tractor, disciplines him when need be, and assets his authority as the head of the family. Thus this is not just a love story between two men, but two "real" men, which makes it so special.

If this story happens in modern times, it will be no big deal because people of the same gender can fall in love and be with each other. But it was a forbidden love for the two guys as it was set in early 1960s to late 1970s America where love between people of the same gender was still practically unheard of, which was why they felt so tormented.

Despite the movie being uncut, there is hardly any nudity or sexual scenes, no more than most other normal shows. Thus, perhaps the 'R' rating may be a bit too harsh. Maybe the content of the show warrants an 'R' rating due to not wanting minors to be exposed to the overall message, but then kids these days have been exposed to worse things anyway.

But if a show this controversial can be allowed to be screened here, it shows that our local society is finally opening up, then in which case, I do not see why it should not be a M-18 or NC-16 rating.

The show itself is slow-moving, but the message, emotions and acting skills deserve the win at the Golden Globes. Although where Oscars are concerned, I will hope for "Walk The Line" to win as it is a real excellent show, possibly the best of the Oscars contenders.

But then, if "Brokeback Mountain" is not on two men in love but just an ordinary love story involving an ordinary man and woman involved in a tryst, will it have done just as well, I wonder?

Shanghai Night!

My company's dinner last night was at the Grand Shanghai restaurant. The theme was 1930s Shanghai, thus we were asked to wear something oriental. There are still people who did not adhere to the dress code. Not able to find something oriental to wear is fine, but for a dinner, one should at least dress accordingly. There were people coming in T-shirt and jeans!

I wonder what our big Boss will say, seeing that he himself was in a formal suit, and the foreign guests all wore suits (for men) and evening gowns (for ladies). I feel that as employees, although we need not outshine the bosses in the clothes department, but at least wear something suitable for the occasion so as to give the due respect.

I was at the restaurant about 3:30pm. We were given a room behind the restaurant to change and makeup. The makeup artists arrived at about 4:00pm, and I happened to be the first to do my makeup and hair. Then I changed into the costume and we started rehearsing. At 6:00pm, we drummers went to help out at the reception.

It was a big event. We hired a host together with his own deejay, and a mini-Chinese Orchestra to keep us entertained while eating. The drums were the first segment, so we went on stage immediately after our big Boss finished his speech. I must say I was rather nervous as where I was on the stage, I was facing my superior directly. Luckily I managed to carry the whole thing through.

After the drumming, we went back to the room and I changed into my red and gold ensemble. The top fits me rather snugly, but the skirt was too long and loose that I had to use a belt inside. Hmmmm, if my mum's clothes can fit me well, then I really need to lose weight!

The food was good, although I missed the first two courses, the "Lo Hei" (now what is that in English?) and shark's fin soup. But if the shark's fin soup is authentic, then I am glad I gave it a miss!

After the fourth course, there was a fashion show, put up by twelve ladies of the company. It was like a fashion show, the models strutted on stage, went to mingle with the guests, went back and came out changed into another costume in record time, and finally all gathered on stage for the last pose.

After that, the deejay called for the five finalists for the Best-Dressed contest. Five guys and five ladies were called up. I was rather surprised I was one of those called, but on the other hand, no one else wore what I wore.

Each lady had to choose one of the five guys to be her partner. I chose this guy in authentic old oriental gear, complete with the "skirt" and vest. Incidentally, he is rather good-looking, but a pity he is married with two kids.

What we had to do was to dance and pose, then the VIPs (the bosses) would then vote for the best-dressed male and female respectively. The guy who partnered me won for the Best-Dressed Male, which was expected as there was really no competition, considering the rest of the guys wore only an oriental top with normal pants.

It was hard to choose the girls though, since ladies know how to dress. The judges could not decide, so the deejay decided to vote on popularity. The audience had to cheer each time his hand went above the head of the lady, and the one who got the loudest cheer won. The prize was finally given to this lady in an authentic 1930s Shanghai-style cheongsam, complete with the lace and shawl.

It was a fun and enjoyable night. Although I did not win anything, be it the Best-Dressed prize or the lucky draws, I really enjoyed myself. I hope I stay in the company long enough, then I can get to enjoy another formal dinner next year!

Bilingual Education

Some foreigners who come here are rather impressed by what they think is “bilingual education”. Actually, I will not really consider Singaporeans in general to be really effectively bilingual. They are normally stronger in one language, and even then, they are not that proficient in that language as well, as evidenced in spelling and grammatical errors.

What an irony, as those who were born in the seventies started bilingual education the moment they entered school, as compared to our parents’ time. During my parents’ time, people could choose whether they want to go to the English stream, Chinese stream, Malay stream or Tamil stream.

English stream students would study all their subjects in English, and their Mother Tongue would be their own respective Mother Tongues. These students were normally from mission schools and schools established by the old European settlers.

These students would later go on to the then University of Singapore (the current National University of Singapore), where everything would be taught in English, and able to snag high-flying jobs after that.

Chinese stream students would study all their subjects in Chinese, with English as a second language. These students were normally from schools set up by those old Chinese merchants and settlers and ran by the various clan associations.

They would later go on to the then Nanyang University (the current Nanyang Technological University, my alma mater, as well as the alma mater of most of my foreign friends), where everything would be taught in Chinese, and go on to work in less glamourous jobs as most jobs would prefer to hire graduates who could speak English.

Which was why my parents, despite being Chinese-educated, opted to go to the University of Singapore rather than the Nanyang University, as they would be assured of a better future upon graduation.

My dad was better off as he had a firmer grounding in English education, since he spent a few years in a mission school, but my mum really has to struggle as initially, she could not even understand what the lecturers were saying.

These streams were abolished back in the seventies? eighties?, and now all schools have English as the language medium with the various Mother Tongues. So students go through a rather solid grounding in English as well as Mother Tongue.

But the tradition is still there. Those mission school students nowadays still come from mostly families who speak only English, so their Mother Tongue standards are pretty minimal compared to others (just like mine).

Those schools that offer Special stream education, ie Higher Mother Tongue (essentially Higher Chinese) are schools that used to have pure Chinese streams. And the graduates from the National University of Singapore are still considered as better choices for employment rather than the graduates from the Nanyang Technological University, unless one happens to be a scholar.

Yet people in my parents generation seem to be more proficient in their languages than us. Those who were English-educated really have very powerful grasp of the language, and those who were Chinese-educated really have a very high standard of Chinese. My parents are considered bilingual as they can speak, read and write both languages well.

But not me, nor my brothers. Perhaps my first brother is considered bilingual, but after so long in China, I wonder if his English standard has dropped. And my youngest brother has also always been more geared towards the English side, until recently when he played a part in a Chinese drama in his school and started watching MTVs and variety shows from Taiwan that he is now speaking more Mandarin to others.

And me? Speaking, reading and writing in English are no problem, but not Chinese. I can read and recognize the Chinese characters better than I speak the language, which everyone finds it strange. Probably reading and writing is easier as one only needs to recognize the words, but speaking is harder because I have to take note of all the different inflexions of the various syllables. A mispronunciation can mean a totally different thing.

This is really incredulous, because if we are brought up on a bilingual education, then how come most of us are proficient in neither language? I have seen my ex teaching colleagues teaching students all the wrong grammar, spelling and sentencing structure, and my aunt also said that there are Chinese teachers in her school writing all the wrong characters for the students. I fear for the students!

Or is it because we take our so-called bilingual education for granted? I always thought that if one cannot be effectively bilingual, at least be proficient in one language. But I see people from my generation and below who can neither speak nor write nor read either language well. Wonder what really triggered that?

I really envy my foreign friends as they are really effectively bilingual, some even tri-lingual or multi-lingual, who can speak, write and read all the languages they know very well. I wish I can be like that too, but since I am not cut out to be a linguist, I have to just settle for being proficient in one language.

Good Writing Skills

At last, I managed to sleep for ten hours last night. When was the last time I actually slept for ten hours? I was home after the drumming session at 9:30pm and slept at 10:00pm. only waking up at 8:00am this morning to go for the Writing Skills workshop. At least I managed to get some of my energy back after one very long and tiring week.

The Writing Skills workshop is rather useful, except that the content covered was what I have already done my first year in university. At least I managed to reinforce a lot of things on how to write a good academic essay.

The rule of the thumb is : keep it simple. One does not need bombastic words or flowery language to make it a good article. Like what the speaker said, any idiot can write flamboyantly, but it takes a genius to extract out the essential parts and convey the same message across using simple language.

Apparently, one has to skim and scan the material, select the most relevant ones, take notes, summarise, synthesize the information from several sources, brainstorm, write the first draft, organise and proof-read, write the second draft, tidy up the introduction and conclusion, and finally write the final product.

A lot of work, but I remember having to write about five times in the past before I finally submitted my assignment. There are just too many things to add on after reading more books and discussion with friends. Or perhaps it is to do with my major. Maybe for other courses the whole process will not be so troublesome.

The session also touched on how to write a good introduction. A good introduction will first have a general statement of the main topic, followed by some background information on the issue, ie why is it a point of discussion? Then there will be a statement of the objective that lets the reader know the purpose or focus of the answer, and finally, a brief outline of the different parts of the argument of the topic.

When arguing, each paragraph should be a different argument. Every paragraph of argument should have a point that contains the main claim about the issues, an elaboration that contains explanation and reasons, including the use of sources to substantiate the claim, and a section summary that show how this section relates to the original question, ie taking the argument back to where it began.

The speaker emphasised again the usage of citations. Apaprently, if footnotes are used, then a bibliography or index need not be used. Likewise, if a bibliography or index is used, then footnotes need not be used. It is actually wrong to use both.

I never knew that, which means all the while I have been doing the wrong things in all the acadmic essays I have submitted. No one ever told me it was wrong. Now I know why I only scored that type of grades.

Apparently not everything need to be quoted. Now, that I know. If it is a factual fact (eg Singapore gained its independence on August 9, 1965), it need not be quoted because it is general knowledge that it is true, and every history book will say the same thing.

However if it is a point of view or theory or opinion or evaluation by the writer, then it must be quoted, so that the intellectual property rights of the writer will not be infringed since it is his / her own thoughts to that issue.

In the conclusion of the essay, the main points have to be summarised very briefly, point of view has to be indicated if asked to do so, always refer to the original topic, repeat some of the key phrases and check that all the parts have been answered satisfactorily.

A conclusion should not be where new material is added in, should not end without referring back to the original topic and never go down new pathways and end in a different place from where it first began.

In other words, the conclusion should take the reader through a full circle and bring him / her back to where both of you began.

I am glad I went for this workshop. If anything, it refreshes a lot of my mind on what to do and what not to do when writing an academic essay. At least it gives me more confidence to tackle my assignments.

Going for my company's dinner later on! Hope I will not make a fool of myself while drumming away!

Fun And Enjoyable Lessons!

So my problem of finding a voice teacher has been resolved. That music school called me up and asked if I would like to go under the teacher who replaced my former teacher. Returning students have their registration fees waived, as well as a discount for the first month.

The best thing is that she is able to cater to my timing perfectly. So I will be starting in May, since she needs to complete some of her classes first. Sometimes it is amazing how everything works out all by themselves.

My colleagues and I have been attending a crash course on drumming. We had to play the big round Chinese drums for the performance at my company’s dinner this Saturday, so we had to stay back on Wednesday, Thursday (earlier on just now) and Friday (later on today) to practice.

You really need to get the rhythm and beat right while playing drums, and everyone has to syncopate together, otherwise the whole sequence will be very messy. I never knew just how heavy drum sticks are! (And no, I am not referring to the chicken thigh here.)

But it is good fun, and good exercise for my upper arms. Hopefully my arms will get more toned after these few sessions. There is even a technique for making the drum go loud and soft. Beat the middle of the drum for loud and heavy sounds, and the other sides for softer sounds. I can still hear my ears drumming away!

My HR department is really nice. This dinner is a very big affair since we will be expecting foreign guests, so a professional drummer was called in to train us, then on the day itself, we will be provided with the costume top, and there will be makeup artists to do our hair and makeup. I was even given a big Benetton bag just for participating in the performance!

It seemed even better than my own choral performance, since I had to do my own makeup and hair even when we were performing at the Esplanade, and provide our own costumes for some of the performances, since the makeup artists were only exclusively for the main stars.

Talking about classes, my Salsa class has been postponed (yet again!) to April, because there are just too many on the waiting list. The studio better put me in the April class, since the class is about six weeks, because after that there will be a month of intensive rehearsals before the major performance in July, so I will not be able to do a lot of other things during that time.

I am also enjoying my studies more and more. I do not know whether it is because I am doing something I do not mind, or that I am older and probably more receptive to things. When my eldest cousin went to further her studies abroad after working for ten years, it was a tough struggle for her as her memory was not as good as those younger.

However, due to her working experience, she was able to see things from another angle and able to grasp concepts far better than those younger. Needless to say, she did very well for her course.

My mum did tell me before that it would be a better idea to experience the working life before one goes back to study, as there are things which we are exposed to in the working world that will enable us to learn and grow, and after that, studying becomes just a breeze, where in the past we may find it a struggle to even do well.

Perhaps that fact is true. I know of people who graduated with only average grades, but when they started on a second degree or post-graduate studies, they emerged as top students. Either they finally know what they want to do, or perhaps working really made them more sensible.

My mum used to tell me that the modern generation has it too easy when it comes to schooling. Even in university, lecturers provide lecture notes and tutorial handouts. Now for my course, those who missed lectures or tutorials need not even fret as all the comprehensive notes will be put up on the intranet to be downloaded, so they do not lose out at all.

When my mum was taking her Masters a few years back, she was surprised that the lecturer even provides notes. When my parents were in university, they had to copy all the notes while the lecturer just rattled on. Being non-English educated, they had to try to follow what the lecturer said.

It was a lot of self-studying and they had to go to the library and write down all the points in the reference books, since they could not even afford to photocopy. This probably explains why my mum could not understand that with all the spoon-feeding and all the photocopying of reference books, why we still could not do well.

But uploading of notes onto the intranet is a good idea. Students can just go in and download the notes at their own leisure, and they could read through them before going for classes.

Definitely much better than having long queues outside the photocopying room just to wait to collect the notes for the whole class, where sometimes one has to put up with the attitude of the photocopying lady when she was asked to hurry a little as people were running late for class.

P.S. Just realised today is my second ex's birthday. Shall I or shall I not message him a greeting?

Not An Art Connoisseur ....

Further proof that I am weird – I cannot find anyone to discuss art with me! I called up my art major friend to ask him more on the form and composition of abstract art, but he told me that he is not a classical person, and his concept of art is only limited to animation.

I do not even bother calling my close friends as I know how they will react when I asked them about art. My tutorial mates are worse as when the tutor was giving a lesson on the difference between sculpture, still life, abstract and pop art, I am the only one who actually know what she was saying.

When I asked her how to tell the difference between the works of Monet and Van Gogh, and the difference between Pollock and Picasso, the rest of my tutorial mates did not know what I was talking about at all. They have not heard of any of these great artists!

And when I was discussing the vanishing point where the perspective lines meet the horizon line of a painting, the tutor was nodding with a smile, but the rest of the tutorial mates drew blank looks. Did they even attend the lecture I wonder?

I was thinking of organizing a trip to the Art Museum, although the pieces there are limited to local context, but my classmates all told me to count them out. So now I have to analyse still life, abstract art and the works of the great Masters all by myself. How I wish I can make a trip down to the Paris Louvre Museum and see some real great pieces for myself.

I hear people complaining that they do not know what is going on in the topic and they will likely fail the assignment. If they do not know then go read up! Humanities is the type of subject that one cannot rely on just textbook and lectures to learn. There is a lot of reading up on our own.

I was not born knowing who Vincent Van Gogh, Claude Monet, Pablo Picasso, Henry Matisse or Leonardo Da Vinci were either, and neither was I taught these in school. All these knowledge comes from books.

In fact, Art was one subject I scored the worst in as I cannot draw, cannot differentiate between the darker and lighter tones, cannot do the embossment in black-and-white still life, and cannot sketch a portrait.

But I have always admired people who could draw, so whenever I came across a piece of good artwork, I would gaze at it and make sure I remember who created that. Although I know some of the great artists ever lived and which pieces they created, I still cannot fully analyse how the entire piece works, ie the colour tone, the texture, the composition of the various colours, etc.

It is not too bad if it is a piece of landscape painting like Monet’s “Waterlilies”, or a piece of portrait like Da Vinci’s “Mona Lisa” or the famous American portrait “Whistler’s Mother”, or a dark piece like Van Gogh’s “Starry Starry Night”, but when it comes to abstract art like Pollock’s “Summertime”, I get totally lost.

This art appreciation topic is killing everyone. It is not as if I am not enjoying my lessons, because I am, but this is such a subjective topic. You cannot really come up with a good answer, but then, you cannot really not come up with an answer as well. It all depends on your own analysis.

But if I still do not come up with a good analysis, I am liable to fail my very first assignment of the course. What a way to start the course! Luckily this week is the last week for the topic, as we will be starting on Sonnets next week. Yeah! But meanwhile, I NEED HELP!!!!!

Tax Season!

Income Tax season is here again, and this is the time for my headache to start. It is a thankless task filing my income statement, especially since I have exceeded the income limit for declaration and have to file my tax returns. :-(

And since I am still single with my parents both working, I am not entitled to any parent relief, child relief or even maid relief. So I am not discounted from anything, unlike my mum, who is entitled to all three.

The first year I had to file my income tax by myself, I received a letter from my employer stating that we were under the Auto-Inclusion Scheme, so everything would be filed for us. I took their word for it and really did not bother filing anything. That was the first time I did my own taxes as my mum did for me the previous year.

As a result, a few months after that, I received a letter from the Inland Revenue that I was fined S$200.00 for not declaring my income statement. I had to make a trip down and explain the entire situation.

Luckily, the officer was rather understanding. I was let off with the fine waived, and a reminder that I had to file my taxes from then on be it whether my employee is under the Auto-Inclusion Scheme or not.

After that, I realize that I have to declare the amount of insurance I pay per month, as well as any donations to any charitable organizations in my tax form. This year the amount will probably increase since I took on a couple more financial plans last year.

Considering my employment history of late, this year will be rather interesting when I file my taxes. My company is under the Auto-Inclusion Scheme, but I have already received a letter from one of my previous employers last year regarding the amount of salary I have to declare. I am just waiting to see if my income this year exceeds the limit for declaration!

Come to think of it, where does all my tax money go to?

When You Missed The Company Bus By Just A Few Seconds ....

Positive : You managed to get a taxi in record time.

Negative : Your workplace is at the other end of the island from your home.

Double Negative : The fare cost more than S$20.00 per trip, despite the driver taking the route with the shortest distance.

Heartache!!!

Difficulty In Finding A Voice Teacher ....

I never knew how hard it is to find a voice teacher here. Not just any mere voice teacher, but one who has formal qualifications and able to train me to have formal singing qualifications so that I can be more involved in choral, operatic and oratorical singing.

All the choir instructors have told me to take up voice lessons, and my ex choir mate who later became the conductor for my school’s choir holds a ABRSM Grade 8 in Voice / Singing, and she is now doing great in the music scene.

I never thought of going for voice lessons. I thought my years in the various choirs were enough. I used to think whether one makes it as a singer depends on the natural voice. After all, some people just have a better voice than others, so someone like me has to be resigned to always singing backup, never solos.

When I was involved in the NIE Choir, my late music teacher did advise me to take up formal voice lessons. She said it would be useful for me, and in any case, my voice has already been geared towards singing, so it would be better to train it up further.

But when I enquired at the music school where I was having my music lessons, I was told that I was too old for beginner’s voice lessons, since they only take in students from young up to the age of fifteen.

Besides, that music school does not do specialized voice lessons, only for pop singing or vocal techniques. I enquired at other music schools, but they do not even conduct voice lessons, only piano or violin.

When I started teaching, my colleague who was in charge of the school’s choir together with me told me that she once took up singing lessons from Lee Wei Song School Of Music, owned by a singer / songwriter.

There were also others besides this. However, when I called in to enquire, I was told they conduct singing lessons for Mandarin pop songs. Besides, they have groomed quite a number of local singers, so they will only take in people whom they deem as potential enough.

I do not want to sing just Mandarin or English pop songs. I am able to sing those fairly well in all the karaoke sessions I go with my friends and family. I want a teacher who will enable me to sing classical musical theatre type of songs. Anyone can sing pop songs, but it takes someone really skilled to be able to handle harder songs.

When I was sent for a choir course by my school, there was this lady who is a music teacher at the Methodist School Of Music. However her school only takes in kids as they train the kids from young. Besides, priority is given to those of the same denomination or affiliated through church.

Later on, my voice started to go, and I developed vocal nodules, so I had to give singing a break. While undergoing speech therapy, my therapist told me that luckily I had been singing, so I did have a bit of technique in voice projection, otherwise my throat would be worse off.

She strongly encouraged me to take up vocal lessons to train up my technique so my voice would recover, because if one is able to sing with the proper techniques and projection, speaking and teaching will not be a problem after that.

I left the education service shortly after that, and never looked for a voice teacher since I wanted to give my voice a break from the past few years of overuse. It was only later on that I could not even sing properly at karaoke sessions anymore that I seriously contemplated taking up singing and voice lessons again.

Thus I went onto the net and started surfing for schools or instructors. At first, I went into the Singapore Repertory Theatre website, but they do not conduct voice lessons since they take in performers who already have prior training.

Then I remembered that the then Singapore Lyric Theatre (now the Singapore Lyric Opera) ever put up a performance in my secondary school. They sang a few pieces, and I remembered being so impressed as they could project their voice and sang so well even without the help of a microphone.

I wanted to sing like that too, and the performers did mention something about conducting voice lessons. So I went onto the website to search for information and called to enquire.

I was directed to the former Artistic Director, who told me that only by joining the chorus could I take up voice lessons under the Lyric Opera. I told her I needed voice lessons first before I think I could be good enough to sing with the chorus.

Nevertheless, she told me to go down for an audition. So I went down for the heck of it, and when I actually passed the audition, I was ecstatic as well as shocked. I really did not expect to get in as those who auditioned before me were so much better, yet some of them did not make it. Up to now, I still wonder how in the world I managed to get in, but I am very glad I did, since I get to perform, have fun and meet many new friends!

I thought I could have voice lessons under her, but we were not able to cater to each other’s timings. Besides, her fees were very high too, even though it was already a discounted rate for her chorus members.

So I went back net sourcing. But all those instructors, studios or schools that I found conduct voice lessons for pop singing, otherwise only for kids. I though that if need be, I really had to re-budget and reschedule some of my activities so as to have lessons under my Artistic Director, until I finally managed to find this music school by chance – the only one here that actually conducts classical voice lessons for adults too.

It is really hard to find someone to give classical singing lessons, so there were only two teachers in that music school who are vocally-trained enough to give lessons, out of the twenty teachers. Even then, there were only certain times they were available as they teach other instruments like piano, guitar and flute as well.

I called up the school and was given the female teacher (the other one is a male). Luckily she was able to make it on the day and time requested, and so I started lessons with her. It was a coincidence when I saw her in the same chorus too! Apparently she herself was undergoing lessons with our Artistic Director.

She asked me to buy a few books for Soprano solos, Italian Arias and the various musicals and started training me. Despite having only a few lessons with her, I found my voice improving and I was able to hit the high notes much better and more effortlessly that period of time.

Right now I have two options for voice teachers. One is Mr Thomas Manhart, the other one is this new teacher at the same music school, who was hired to replace my teacher when she went to further her studies.

Rates and time wise, both are about the same. Once a week, one hour, and we pay a monthly fee for four lessons. But one is private and the other one is under a school. Some people will say private is better because the teacher will be more established before he / she is able to branch out on his / her own in the first place. A freelancer can also be more flexible in terms of schedule, whereas in a school, the teacher still has to adhere to the various school rules.

The thing is that I can only afford a certain day and time. If I choose lessons in a school, the teacher may be able to cater to my timing if I am lucky. There will be less chance of change as she has other students too.

Besides, she herself is a soprano, so she knows exactly how to train a soprano better. And the instruction under a school will be more structured, so I will need to take formal singing examinations.

The private teacher is pretty reputable, judging from the feedback from quite a number of people I know. But he is a guy, and a countertenor. I am not doubting his ability as a singer and a teacher, but as a soprano, I much prefer to go under someone who is a soprano as well.

But besides classical singing, he gives his students exposure to musicals, jazz, pop and ensemble singing as well, plus stage and performance experience through a series of recitals. Thus, I may be able to learn more under him.

However, since he conducts private lessons, there is a risk of changing classes at short notices. Good and bad, because sometimes one may welcome the break, but at other times, the changes may inconvenient others. Furthermore, his lessons may not be as structured as those of a school but the advantage is that he will structure his lessons according to how one’s voice is like.

Both teachers are good, which is why it is such a hard choice for me. They have to be good in the first place to even be recognized as a qualified voice teacher. They are the only two teachers that actually charge fees fitting to my budget. The other voice teachers either only take in students who already have some training, or students who show promise, or charge exorbitant fees which I am not able to afford.

Thus I am in a bit of a dilemma right now. But I need to make a choice very soon so I can start formal voice lessons again, as the performance is coming and my vocals need to be in a good enough shape for it.

A Matter Of Life And Death ....

Is capital punishment right or wrong? Does “a life for a life” still apply? Many countries have already abolished capital punishment and changed the sentence to life imprisonment instead.

The recent case where this guy supposedly raped and murdered a little girl created a lot of controversy. In his appeal to the Court of Appeal, two out of the three judges gave the verdict that he should be hanged, whereas the third judge felt that there was no real evidence that he intended to kill the girl, although there was substantial evidence that he intended to cause her harm.

Thus, if he was to be charged under Voluntarily Causing Hurt, he would be sentenced to just one year imprisonment and fined S$10,000.00 instead. Such a big difference. The girl died after he inflicted her injuries, and even if he did not intend to kill her, he would only need to go to jail for just one year?!

Actually since the majority of the quorum stated that he should be hanged, technically he could be hanged. Only thing is that he could go up to the President himself and plead for clemency. Normally if the Appellate judges had a unanimous verdict on a death sentence, there would be no questions asked.

But in this case, since one judge differed from the other two, there is still a chance of fighting the case and the President can still pardon him from the noose. Which means if this happens, a criminal can then go off scot-free. The things some lawyers do just to win a case really sickens me, even if the person is a murderer.

The thing is that premeditated murder must be proven beyond any reasonable doubt before a criminal will be sentenced to death. The judge who felt that there were some doubts regarding the premeditation stated that there was no proof that he intended to kill the girl, since there was no motive for him to kill her.

Like the sensational case a few years back where the guy asked a teenager to kill his ex-wife in cold blood. In that case, the guy planned out the murder, and the teenager adhered to his plan and stabbed the wife who died.

In this case, there was motive as he could get his daughter, the flat and his wife’s insurance policies as well as money. Thus his appeal was thrown out as all three judges felt there was premeditation and sentenced him to death.

The poor teenager escaped the noose by virtue of his age, but he would be kept in jail until the President pardoned him. A young kid’s life and future ruined just like that.

In this case, as long as there was some doubt that arises from the case that the guy did not intend to kill the girl but probably accidentally causing her death, he need not be hanged, probably just be sentenced to culpable homicide amounting to murder and be imprisoned for life.

Right or wrong as it seems, it is a life. So if he had no intention or motive of killing the girl, he would not be hanged. Due to situations like this, capital punishment has been abolished in many places, even if it has been proven beyond any reasonable doubt that the murderer intended to kill, simply because people feel that they have no right to take away somebody’s life. But has the murderer any right then to take away another person’s life in the first place?

Sentencing a wrong-doer to death may be a cruel thing, but has anyone considered that the murderer killed an innocent person in cold blood just for his / her own benefits? There are so many instances to murder, and many may be justifiable homicide, but to just kill someone no matter what he / she has done to you is just wrong. And for that, the murderer has to pay a price.

Some people will say that it is still a life, but the family and loved ones of the victim will want the murderer to be hanged for killing the victim and causing them extreme grief. Unlike other countries, down here the death penalty is still hanging until the person dies, and nobody except the hangman and another officer can witness the hanging. A depressing job in my opinion.

There are other ways of execution. In England and China (and maybe France), there used to be execution by the axe. The executioner will chop off the person’s head in one swoop in public. What a gory sight. I wonder how anyone could even stomach such a scene.

Some countries have public hanging or lynching where the person will be lynched until he dies. The different American states have their own ways of capital punishment. There is the gas chamber, where the person will be gassed until he dies. There is the electric treatment, where the person will be electrocuted.

What I saw in the movie “The Green Mile” is that the murderer’s head will be covered by a cloth, then a wet sponge will be put on his head connecting with the wires for the electricity to pass through. After everything is set up, the electricity will be switched on and the electric currents will then pass through the body of the murderer until he dies.

Another gory sight. I think that has since been changed to the electric chair where the murderer will be strapped in the chair for electric currents to pass through his body. Whatever ways the capital punishment is, I am glad I never have to witness any real examples of it.

But is it really necessary to take away one’s life in exchange for another? A rather complicating issue actually. No one has a right to judge what is right or wrong, but I think capital punishment is necessary especially for serial hardcore criminals who have no qualms killing people one after another.

True, no one deserves to have their lives taken away by another, but then the victims who have done nothing wrong also have a right to live on, yet their lives have been cruelly cut short by someone who thinks nothing of killing them.

So will that guy be hanged for causing the little girl’s death? Hard to say actually. He did confess the girl died because of him, but he has not given a satisfactory reason or motive as to why he wanted to kill her or how her death would benefit him. And for that alone, it could be said he did not have the intention to kill in the first place. So perhaps he may escape the noose after all.

Older Men With Younger Girls

There was an article in the recent Sunday Times on how more teenage girls are dating much older men, those in their late-twenties to early thirties. Hmmmm…. if men my age are targeting young girls, no wonder my friends and I are left on the shelf.

Those girls interviewed said that men that age have financial stability, and know how to give their girlfriends a good time. They have been through more of life and able to engage in more interesting conversations. They can also guide them on what is right or wrong, whereas guys their age are immature and their ideas of a good date mean spending the whole day at an arcade.

If teenagers find guys in their late-twenties or early thirties interesting and engaging, why do I not meet guys like that? Guys I meet who are that age are only out for flings! It is so unfair!

I guess different ages have different mentalities. When I was a teenager, I wanted someone my age who shares my interests. Older men are just too stuffy for me. I do not need a good time than someone who is of my generation and knows what I am talking about.

As I get older, I was contemplating with the idea of having a guy older who has a sense of maturity and security. But now I find the guys older than me (ie in their thirties) do not want anything other than sex.

Even those teenagers said that there are older guys who go up to them and offer them great gifts to sleep with them. They said that older guys will just come straight and tell you they want sex, whereas younger guys will still woo you and ask more subtly. How true!

I find the guys my age or younger are at least more mature as in they can engage in interesting conversations and really treasure you as a friend, not just out for a fling. It is getting so disillusioning to find someone older as I have been disappointed again and again by their shallowness.

Anyway in the article, only the girls were interviewed. The guys were not allowed to be interviewed by their girlfriends or they declined to be interviewed. The girls said that their boyfriends told them they like younger girls because they will feel young, and younger girls make them feel needed as they (the girls) like to be pampered and seek their opinions.

Older women who are out in the working world are normally more independent and have their own opinions, so will not need a guy to pamper them or take the guy’s advice. Makes me wonder if it is really from the guys’ point of view or just the girls’ own views. Not true actually, all girls, at whatever age, all like to be pampered!

But is that so? Do guys really like someone they can pamper or make them feel young? Perhaps for some, although most I know view communication and compatibility as most important, no matter what the girl’s age is.

The article also includes the opinion of a sociologist who said that teenage girls may still not know what they really want out of a relationship. True, older guys may be more mature and stable, but in the long run, it is not feasible because the age gaps will take a toil on the relationship.

Thus, those girls should give guys their age a chance and get to know different types of people, before they can finally decide what they want out of a relationship. Ultimately, a long-lasting relationship and marriage only works if people know what to expect.

How true! I will also say the same things to those girls, because I have also been through their situations. Not that I have dated a guy so much older, but I have been through relationships and now I know more or less what type of partner I am looking for in order to make my next relationship work out well.

FM : Forrest Gump

I just has a thought – after so many years of countless movie-watching, I do not seem to have reflected on the shows I really really like. So I have decided that as and when I will reflect on my favourite movies and some pretty good shows that have impacted me in some ways. The title will start with “FM”, meaning “Favourite Movie”. (Ok, I know how cliché that sounds.)

I decided to start off with “Forrest Gump” as that is my ultimate favourite movie of all time. After all these years and so many more shows, no other show has ever topped this, and no other actor has ever topped Tom Hanks as my ultimate favourite actor. I know I may drool over “pretty” and “gorgeous” actors, but when it comes to real acting substance, Tom Hanks is top of the list.

Perhaps the reason “Forrest Gump” is so well-received may be due to the naivety, simplicity and innocence of the main character. He goes through life believing in the goodness of everybody and everything and does the good and righteous thing without caring how others think of him. No matter how bleak the situation is, and how many times people have hurt him, he still manages to see the positive side. The world needs more people like him!

The show itself is like a crash course in the golden years of American history, spanning thirty years from the 1950s to the 1980s. It started with Forrest Gump as a child, staying in Alabama, one of the southern states that had very strong racial discrimination. There was a slight reference to the Ku Klux Klan of old.

While the kid grew up through the years, he was involved in love (his childhood friend Jenny, who got mixed up with hippies and gangs), fame (he won a football scholarship to college because of his running speed), war (he was roped into the army to fight the Vietnam War), sports (table-tennis competition in the army), close friendships (his buddy in the army by the name of Bubba who died in a shelling, and later his lieutenant, whom he saved), wealth (shrimp farming), death of his mother, inspiration to others (the three-year marathon he ran throughout the country), birth of his child by Jenny (incidentally played by a then three-year-old Haley Joel Osment, who later went on to star in “Sixth Sense”), his marriage to Jenny, her death, and the show ended with him waiting for the school bus with his son.

The show started off with a feather flying around, where my favourite tune “The Forrest Gump Suite (Feathersong)” started playing. Incidentally, the show ended with the flying feather and the song. I still remember the taglines “Run, Forrest Run” and “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.”

Throughout the show, there were references to famous events and people, like Elvis Presley, who was one of the Gump family’s lodgers, the historical event where the first blacks were allowed to attend the University of Alabama, the Vietnam War, world table-tennis tournaments against China, his shaking hands with a few Presidents, meeting with John Lennon, the Watergate Scandal, gathering and protest of hippies, meeting with the “Smiley Face” T-shirt designer, establishment of the Apple company by his business partner.

The show is really authentic because besides the various references to true events and people, songs of those eras were played too, Songs by Elvis, by some pop groups and singers of that era. I actually learnt much more about the various historical events, the songs, fashion, culture, people of that period during the almost three hours of the show than any other history lesson!

Tom Hanks is part of the reason why the show is so widely-acclaimed. Besides a good storyline, he manages to carry the character throughout the show. People feel sad when he is sad, reaches out to him when he got scolded by trying to do something good, want to protect him like how he was protected by his mother, Jenny and later his lieutenant who became his best friend and business partner.

Forrest Gump is the type of guy that endears to everyone, young and old, and everyone wants to take care of him and tell him everything is alright. No wonder the movie and the actor were both well-deserving of the “Best Picture” and “Best Actor” win of that year respectively.

Unlike Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks is not the type whom others drool over or gaze at, but his success is based solely on his acting skills. Which is why the shows he acted in usually have more intense storylines and range from a variety of genres, where the lead role required a real good actor to carry through, not just a hunky dory pretty boy.

It is as if whatever role he takes on, the character really fits in and comes to life. He can portray a sub-normal and innocent guy (Forrest Gump), a thirteen-year-old trapped in the body of a thirty-year-old (Big), a “Robinson Crusoe” type (Cast Away), a FBI agent (Catch Me If You Can), a professional hitman (Road To Perdition), a prison chief (The Green Mile), a single father (Sleepless In Seattle), an army commander (Saving Private Ryan), a wanderer at an airport terminal (The Terminal), a con-man (The Ladykillers), an astronaut (Apollo 13), a band leader (That Thing You Do!), a manager of a female baseball team (A League Of Their Own), a big boss of a big company (You’ve Got M@il!) and a gay AIDS-stricken man (Philadelphia) all rather realistically.

That is why his shows are normally worth watching. Through the years I have come to realize that if it is a Tom Hanks show, it is a must-watch! I am really looking forward to “The Da Vinci Code” where he will take the role of Professor Robert Langdon.

Just a pity I did not manage to catch all his shows. I have yet to watch “That Thing You Do!” (which consisted of another catchy song), “The Ladykillers”, “The Terminal” and “Philadelphia”.

The show “Forrest Gump” came with a soundtrack, which I bought after the movie came out. I fell in love with all the songs, especially the main theme. It was my second ex’s favourite CD too, and a pity he kept it back, so now I have to look for another one of the same. Looking out for soundtracks from “Apollo 13” and “That Thing You Do!” as well!

Flowers : The Language Of Love And Romance?

I saw something very sweet yesterday. This young guy (probably around his mid-teens) was holding a bunch of flowers, and when his girlfriend approached, held out the flowers for her. She was so happy that she was on the verge of crying. She kept thanking him profusely. Nice to see a young man who knows how to make a girl happy.

Not that flowers necessary make a girl happy, but then, most girls like to be romanced. After all, on the wedding day, there will be flowers everywhere, on the car, as church pew decorations, altar decorations, in the ballroom, the bride’s bouquet, and some even wear flowers in their hair.

Guys always ask what is the point of giving flowers to his girlfriend since they wither so fast? I do not know about other girls, but when flowers wither, I will hang them upside down to dry them completely. Then I will keep the dried flowers with me by either decorating my room with them or press them one by one and make bookmarks.

Thus, withered flowers are useful. I make it a point never to throw away any bouquet given by any of my boyfriends. The only one I threw away was the one by my first ex. Actually the bouquet was not really thrown away. I had the roses planted in my garden but apparently somehow they never grew and the rose bush I was hoping for never came.

Girls are not asking for guys to give them flowers everyday. In fact, we do not wish to run a florist shop. All we are asking is for guys to give us flowers on special occasions like our birthdays or anniversaries. Valentine’s Day also, although I do not require it of the guy since Valentine’s flowers are very expensive.

Guys may not think it is a big deal, but it is a big deal to girls how much their guys are willing to make them happy. After all, girls view flowers as the language of romance, so receiving flowers from their guys will make them feel that their guys love them enough to woo them properly and romantically.

I must give credit to my second and third exs for giving me flowers every Valentine’s Day we had. My second ex’s bouquets were more generous. He would give me a minimum of three roses flanked by forget-me-nots and baby’s breath. One year I received as many as twelve red roses. The day he proposed to me, he gave me a bouquet of twenty red roses.

He did not give me flowers any other day, but he was sweet enough to give me flowers every Valentine’s Day even though I never asked for them, and sometimes during our anniversaries as well.

My third ex gave me a stalk of rose the day we got together, and every Valentine’s Day would give me a stalk of red rose. Although the hot flowers for romance and love are red roses (which actually mean “I Love You”), my ultimate favourite flowers are white lilies. I just find white lilies pure and simple, which is what I like my life to be like.

On the last day of my first Esplanade performance of “Madame Butterfly” last year, my third ex called me to meet him at the lobby after the performance and he surprised me with a huge bouquet of five white lilies. It was so unexpected that I cried when he gave me that.

I had to bring the bouquet along for the post-performance party with the rest of the cast, but I was so protective over the bouquet that I never allowed anyone to touch them.

The first bouquet of flowers I received was a bouquet of six red roses. I would not even say “receive” as I was the one who paid for them. What happened was that the day after Valentine’s Day, my first ex and I came across a shop selling flowers, and since the V-day was over, the flowers were marked down.

He asked me if I wanted some, which I nodded in the affirmative and was feeling so happy over that. Then he said since I wanted, choose the bouquet I liked. So I chose the bouquet of red roses, all the while feeling so happy and thought he was trying to make up for the disaster of a Valentine’s Day celebration the day before.

I should have known he would not be so good to me. He took the bouquet, asked for the price, then said since I wanted the flowers, I pay for them myself. I was too shocked to react. I could have just put the whole thing back, but since I was already holding the bouquet, I just paid for them.

He said that technically, he was the one who gave me the bouquet since he asked if I wanted it in the first place. Well…. asking is one thing. Buying them and giving to me is another thing.

Sometimes I wish I live in another country where the flowers can bloom very nicely. One hardly sees big flowers along our streets. The flowers in Australia are so beautiful and so big! How I wish I can get to see a smattering of lavender-coloured lavenders, or a perfectly pruned red rose bush, or big white lilies-of-the-valley.

There is another type of flowers I would love to see but they are already extinct almost everywhere except for Papua New Guinea and Fiji – the birds-of-paradise, those long orange-coloured flowers.

Every girl loves it when her guy gives her flowers, even me. But for me, it is not a requirement that the guy must give me flowers. As I said, other qualities are more important, but it always takes flowers to cheer me up when I am down or make me happier and top of the world, as every girl likes to be loved and pampered.

So now that Valentine’s Day is approaching, guys better book your orders for bouquets to give your girlfriends so they will be happy!

Racial Discrimination Of Another Degree?

Last year, two bloggers were charged under the Sedition Act due to very strong racist remarks in their blogs. Recently, there was a letter written to the Straits Times on racism on another level, ie people who are so sensitive that they think everyone is discriminating against them due to their race.

The writer of the letter stated that times when he tried to do the right thing, he was accused of being racist. I can relate to that to a certain extent, as I had been accused by the parents of my students for being racist, like punishing the kid because he / she is of a different race than me.

Anyway the writer said that there was a time when he saw someone about to be knocked down by a cyclist, so he shouted at the person to look out. The person then shouted back at him, saying that he is of a different race, thus got shouted at. The person continued to abuse him verbally and even spouted a whole lot of vulgarities.

There was another time when he was in a taxi queue and a group of guys were smoking behind him. He could not stand the smoke, and at any rate, there was a sign prohibiting smoking in the taxi queue.

So he turned behind and politely asked if they could refrain from smoking since he was finding it difficult to breathe with all the smoke around. They swore at him, and kept saying that he picked on them as they were of a different race.

Must people be so sensitive? No wonder the locals are so reluctant to do a good deed, since all they get are insults and accusations. And if this continues, more trouble may ensue. Afterall, many a war has started due to racial discrimination.

No doubt those two bloggers were charged so as to make examples out of them so others would think twice about saying anything defamatory or insensitive. I am not saying it is wrong to charge them. They were in the wrong in the first place as they have no right to say things about other’s races.

But on the other hand, by making an example of these two guys, it may trigger problems like what I mentioned above, where a simple kind gesture may be misinterpreted and blown up into a racism issue. People of my race got charged because they wrote remarks about people of another race.

Now, if other races verbally abuse people of my race for being racist just because things were done out of goodwill, will they be charged then? Will any action be taken? Or can any action be taken?

So if nothing is going to be done, does it mean these people can then get away scot free thinking they can accuse just anyone of racism? Then that will be so unfair. Every race is equal, there should not be any discrimination amongst others so an inter-racial society like ours can function properly in harmony.

About Teachers ....

I attended my first lecture on Thursday evening. First time I sat for a three-hour lecture. The longest lecture I ever attended was two hours straight. The topic was on Art Appreciation, and the lecturer gave us some ideas on how to observe paintings and how to differentiate the different angles of the painting.

Since my supervisor was busy on Thursday, I had to attend a meeting on her behalf. The meeting ended about 4:30pm in town, and by the time I went back to office, it would be knocking off time. Besides, my lecture was at 7:30pm.

So since I had some time free I went to watch “Match Point”. I am not that familiar with the other Woody Allen’s shows, but this movie is good. It is a show of passion, lust, extramarital affair, typical problems between married couples, being at the right place at the right time, and how one’s luck can change just by meeting the right people.

It is essentially a movie on how one’s life is determined by luck and chance and it is up to oneself to seize the opportunity. How one’s actions can be determined by luck whether it turns out good or bad.

The main character of the movie brought up a very good point, on how most of our lives are determined by luck and chance, because sometimes even if we can do all the right things, but luck is not on our side, we will still end up being in the wrong. Similarly, if we do all the wrong things but luck is on our side, we can still get off scot-free.

I met a few of my teaching peers in the course. Anyway this course is mainly for teachers who want to upgrade their qualifications and vying for increment and be placed on a higher scale. If I am not mistaken, besides me, everyone else is a teacher. I see a lot of familiar marking actions while the lecture was going on.

I am rather disappointed that all of a sudden there seems to be a communication gap between my teaching peers and myself. It got me reflecting just how closed-up a teacher’s world can be, since they just go in and out of classrooms and face kids day in day out, thus a lot of them are naïve over what really goes on outside of school.

They ask me that since I am no longer teaching, why take up this course? Why not? Taking up a course need not necessary mean one have to be in a certain line. Courses can be taken up for interest, for upgrading, for the sheer pleasure of learning more things. Not everything one does need to be beneficial to one’s career, and in any case, having more knowledge and higher qualifications is always beneficial no matter what job you are in.

I just find that when I talk to them, they seem quite narrow-minded as everything goes to results and career. There is always a bigger picture out there. They complain that doing “useless” topics like art appreciation, music and philosophy is not going to help them in their work.

What makes them think so? One of these days, the kids may ask a question relating to issues like these, and it will be so embarrassing if the teacher does not know how to answer. They rather go right into the core of English Language and Literature, which is what they sign up for, rather than going through a year of broad humanities. Why do people not take it from the point of view of enriching their knowledge?

This reminded me of what my dad once told me. He was a junior college lecturer / tutor for a number of years before he left. He was teaching General Paper, Geography and Economics. Now why did I not inherit these traits from him, then perhaps I could have done much better, especially in Economics. My dad was actually teaching in the same junior college where local author Catherine Lim was teaching General Paper and English Literature in before she became a full-time writer.

I asked my dad once why he left the service. He said that firstly, he had dedicated a part of his life grooming the younger generation (which, in those days, were probably much easier to handle, not like the kids now) and he felt himself stagnating.

There were many more opportunities outside for an Economics honours graduate, and later a Master graduate in Business Administration. And for a man, he needed a better career prospect in order to feed the family.

Secondly, he heard a senior teacher saying some very childish things. That teacher spent his entire life teaching, yet was so naïve about what went on in the world. My dad started to see himself in that teacher, and determined that he did not want to stay in a job that would make him lose touch with the ever-changing society. He wanted to broaden his horizons.

Those were the exact few of many reasons why I chose to leave too. I cannot deny that I miss my teaching days. I miss those kids, I miss being around children, I miss my choir, I miss inculcating knowledge and values, and, believe it or not, I even miss the marking.

But the bigger picture is that if I continue to stay on, I will miss out on even more things and opportunities that only the big world out there can provide. I will have missed out on being exposed to the society, opening up my mind and learning so many more things.

There are really so many more things to life than just education, book learning and grooming the younger generation. I need to live my own life, a life of what I like to do, a life of broadening my mind, a life of learning more things, instead of living other’s lives by catering to all their whims and fancies and getting nothing out of my own life.

Having said that, not every teacher is like that. It depends on how you want to lead your life. I admire my friend ThamPs that she is able to juggle teaching and so many other activities together. I could not. Teaching was my life and nothing else since there was no time to do anything else.

And I also salute all those teachers who dedicate their whole lives to education. Despite all the stress, demands, rigidity and problems, they still have a passion in such a thankless, super overworked and super underpaid career. I know I cannot. So I really want to applaud all those teachers who are so noble and self-sacrificing enough to be able to do that.

A Busy Month Ahead ....

I just checked my calendar and realize that I will be pretty tied up every Saturday this month. Tomorrow (later on today actually) I need to go back to work in the morning as there will be guests coming. After that I will be meeting K for lunch and to watch “Walk The Line”.

I hope Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix can sing as well as Ewan McGregor. Come to think of it, I should think Ewan McGregor was a better choice for playing the Phantom in “Phantom Of The Opera” since he has a much stronger voice. Or perhaps the tone was not right for the songs.

Still, the Phantom could have been acted by someone who can at least sing well. He was supposed to be the voice teacher of Christine, so it does not make sense for the Phantom to have a much weaker voice than Christine.

Next Saturday (11th) I need to attend the Writing Skills workshop at SIM University in the morning, then go for my company’s Chinese New Year celebrations-cum-Dinner and Dance. My mum is lending me her oriental top, red satin with yellowish gold cuffs and her satin yellowish gold skirt.

My HR Executive roped me in to perform drum-playing for the pre-dinner activities (I have no idea why I was arrowed). So I have to be at the restaurant by 3:00pm to rehearse. The company actually got in a professional makeup artist to do our hair and makeup for the performance, and we have to stay back after work for three preceding days where an expert would train us how to play the drums according to the beat and rhythm.

The Saturday after that (18th) will be another full day since it will be my male cousin’s wedding. The wedding of the first male who bears the same surname, the son of my dad’s brother. Needless to say, my grandmother is more excited over this wedding than any of my other cousin’s wedding since this is the one that will ensure the continuity of the family line.

This will be one of the few weddings that I can really enjoy without getting flustered and running everywhere. Since my family has so many girls, I always needed to help out and run around for my female cousins’ weddings. This time round, my brothers will be the one doing all the work by accompanying the groom to pick up his bride.

Do not get me wrong. I love helping out at weddings. Just that it is a welcome change when you can attend a wedding where you can really take the backseat instead of being the bride’s assistant. But I am still helping out at the reception before the dinner though.

The last Saturday of the month (25th) I need to attend the Poetry Analysis workshop at SIM University in the morning. After that, I will finally be free! So anyone who likes to meet up with me on a Saturday can only do so on the 25th or after, otherwise have to be on Sundays.

A busy month, but good! I rather keep myself busy than spend the day lazing around with too much free time on my hands. At least being busy is a more productive use of time than hanging around doing nothing much.

More Movies To Look Out For ....

Oscar season is here again, with the nominees already out, and this year seems to be another good year for movies. If you remember the list I made up earlier on in the year, I mentioned a few movies quite worth watching. So far, I have only managed to watch “Memoirs Of A Geisha”, plus a few not in the list like “Fearless”, “I Not Stupid 2” and “Match Point”.

There are a lot of good shows this period due to the upcoming award ceremony, so I like to add a few more shows which I think is worth catching for this period of time and this year. Hopefully I have time to catch all the Best Picture nominees before they end the run.

1. Walk The Line (Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix really can sing, just like Ewan McGregor, Nicole Kidman and Renee Zellweger.)

2. Brokeback Mountain (most hopeful Best Picture win due to its controversy message, a romance show that is different from the usual run of the mill.)

3. Syrianna

4. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 (I enjoyed the first one, and Orlando Bloom is in it! Well, so is Johnny Depp, and he is the better actor by far.)

5. Munich (Steven Spielberg’s shows are normally worth watching.)

6. The New World (the trailer looks good, plus sexy “Batman” Christian Bale is in it. And it is the story of the famous native American princess Pocahontas and Captain John Rolf.)

7. V For Vendetta

8. The Pink Panther (comedy that is good for a laugh to forget all stress and frustration.)

9. Superman Returns (finally…. after all these years. Wonder who the new Superman will be?)

10. Crash (heard about the big ensemble cast, so want to see for myself just how good the show is.)

11. The Constant Gardener

12. Capote

13. Casanova

14. Good Night And Good Luck

15. Transamerica

16. North Country

17. A Season For Love

18. The Producers

19. Rumour Has It (interesting cast)

20. Underworld : Evolution (I like the first one, so want to see how the sequel is like.)

21. Ice Age 2 : The Meltdown

Starry Starry Night

There is this place somewhere near Labrador Park called Villa Bali or Villa Frangipanni that is a Balinese-themed bar. The furniture and settings are very Bali-like, and the atmosphere is really cosy.

My friends and I went there for drinks and finger food on Tuesday evening, after visiting my friend and viewing her wedding DVD. It is such a comfortable place that we just wanted to sit there and chat till daybreak, but unfortunately the place closes at 1:00a.m., so we have to leave there by 12:30a.m.

There is a big carpark in front of the place, and when we stepped out, we saw a clear starry sky above us. It was such a beautiful sight as hardly can we see so many stars in the sky, at least not where I stay.

There was one very bright sparkling one, and a few stars in a row forming into a shape, and a few more scattered here and there. How I wish the place would not close that early and I could continue gazing at the stars above me longer.

I wonder if wishes really do come true if you wish upon a star? I still remember the couple of songs I learnt when I was much younger, “When You Wish Upon A Star” and “ Star Light, Star Bright”, and of course the most famous nursery song, “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”, not to mention “Starry Starry Night” where Vincent Van Gogh’s painting of the same name came to mind.

I made a wish under the stars. If wishes do come true, then I hope my wish will come true very soon!

Not Another Scam!

A fellow blogger was expressing his disgust at Multi-Level Marketing, about how a friend he has known for a number of years treated him as just a business prospect. If you remember my post on the scam on time-sharing and how I have been conned a few times, you will understand my negativity towards Multi-Level Marketing, which I think time-sharing is just another form.

No doubt people are doing their jobs, but the terms and conditions should be more properly represented. These companies can get themselves sued for misrepresentation. For instance, if people are told they only need one hour to complete a questionnaire, then make sure it is really a one-hour questionnaire, not anything else. And do not tell people otherwise if it is just another time-sharing presentation.

Sometime last week, I got conned again. True, I should be more wary, but this time it was really unknowing on my part, as the modus operandi was different. There were no kids doing surveys, and sending people up to the office building, nor were there any cold calling of people saying that they have won gifts from some lucky draw. It was an innocent visit of enquiry.

What happened was that I was surfing the net looking for some cruise companies as I thought of bringing my parents on a cruise. I stumbled upon this company which claimed to be newly set-up and they have cruises to very exotic places like Turkey, Greece, Italy, etc.

So I called the number for enquiry. The receptionist put me to an officer in charge who asked me to go down to their office to look through the brochures and she could answer my queries there and then. Standard procedure of any tour company, so of course I would not suspect anything.

I set up an appointment with her, which I postponed twice due to last-minute work commitments. The second time I postponed, the officer put me on a guilt trip saying that it was actually her off day but she specially came back for me. So when she called me the third time to fix an appointment, I agreed to try to make it.

The day of the appointment, the manager himself called me and asked if I would be going down. I answered in the affirmative, to which he said in that case he would call the officer who served me back since it was her off day.

After all these, I should have realised, since they seemed so desperate for me to go down, but I did not as I thought they were just trying their best to make business. So that day I made sure I did not have any last-minute work and left office on time just to make my way down.

When I stepped into the office, I was asked to fill in (fill up?) a form. I still thought nothing of it since new companies would want to build up their network of people. But when this guy came and receive me instead of that lady who called me, alarm bells should have already gone off in my head.

Still, I followed him, and by the time I went in and saw the familiar setting, warning bells were sounding. And when I realised it was the same time-sharing thing, I told them I had no time for that and needed to go off.

The guy said I promised to pledge my time. I said I was only told to spend an hour looking through brochures and asking questions about the cruise programmes, not to listen to another three-hour presentation that I have no interest in.

He guaranteed that he would only take up an hour of my time, to which I said in that case, just let me look through the cruise programmes and I would go. Then he said I have to listen to the presentation first before he could let me see the cruises available, and I have to sign up as a member before I can be entitled to any cruises.

After that, he said that he is being paid S$25.00 per presentation, so why do I not help him out by letting him get on with his work, then I can just go at the end and he can still get his pay? Can you believe that?!

I told him that I did not go all the way to their office to be conned, and besides, what I was told through the phone was totally different. He had the nerve to ask the manager to come talk to me and explain that I went there on my own free will, and since I already filled in the form so I have to listen to their presentations.

I said that the company was misrepresenting people, since what I expected was totally different. They finally let me go after they realised that I am working in the legal sector. The manager then said he could offer me a free three-day two-night cruise to which I turned it down.

These people may be running a legitimate business, so it is not within anyone’s power to close them down, but still, they should be truthful and let people know exactly what they are up to.

If people were given the whole picture on what they were getting themselves into, and still went ahead, then that would be the person’s own free will and have no basis for complaint. Do they not care how people will feel after being misrepresented? Or is making the sale or earning the keep all they care about, thus always trying to prey on unsuspecting victims?

Readings To Catch Up On ....

Sonic gave me the list of the current top 50 books from What To Read Next. Bold the books you have read. Italicise the books you might read. Cross out the books you probably won’t read. Pass it on:

The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter 6) - J.K. Rowling
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell

Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien (it is actually together with the entire LOTR trilogy, so in a way, it should be considered I have read it.)
The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-time - Mark Haddon
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Book 3) - J.K. Rowling
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
Neuromancer - William Gibson

Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

American Gods - Neil Gaiman
Ender’s Game (The Ender Saga) - Orson Scott Card
Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson
A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis

Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Good Omens - Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman

Atonement - Ian McEwan
The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Dune - Frank Herbert

Gosh, there are still so many books I have not read?! I better do some real catching up, on top of the readings I need to do for my own studies! Back to work, back to work again!

The Singapore Education System

One thing about the Singapore education system is that it is too rigid. Perhaps "rigid" is not the exact word, but what I am trying to say is that they have many pathways catered to the bright, the not so bright and the really not so bright.

The bright ones will go to the gifted or special stream, the not so bright ones go to the Express stream and the really not so bright ones will go to the Normal streams. Then there are the junior colleges, polytechnics and Institutes of Technical Education catered for students of the various categories.

Schools play a part in this. Students from certain schools will be the ones who go on to top schools and later carve a great future for themselves. There will always be some schools where the PSLE and ‘O’ Level results will forever be so much better than those of other schools.

Due to this, most parents will want their kids to start off well, so enrol them into a more prestigious school. But it is not easy getting into those premier primary schools, so a lot of parents resort to moving house so as to be near the school as distance is a factor in schools considering whether to take the student in.

Some parents resort to donations, some volunteer to be school bus helpers, some help to preen the garden, some help to give tuition or conduct school activities, all in the bid to ensure a place in the good school for their children.

So once their eldest child manages to get a place in the premier school, the parents can then breathe a sigh of relief as all their subsequent children will have ensured a place in the school in the future.

I come from a family where everyone attended premier schools. I got into my school on the basis that one of my relative was then an educator in there. But my parents shifted to our old place which happens to be near a top primary school so as to ensure my brothers could get in. I have relatives who made big donations to some of the better schools just so their children could get in there.

Like what was said in “I Not Stupid 2”, when the guy’s father was looking around for a school for him after he was expelled, the father’s friend told him that his son was nothing, so no school would be willing to take him in.

If he was a Minister’s son, or if they were rich enough to make a big donation or they have any form of talent that could contribute to the school, the school would even come begging to take him in. Such is the fate of those lower-income families whose children can only afford to attend average schools.

But why this obsession over good schools anyway? Probably because those top schools have already established a reputation for themselves in grooming the cream of the crop. How often have you seen students from the average primary schools entering top secondary schools, then the top junior colleges, and later go on to win prestigious scholarships?

Most often than not, students in the top secondary schools normally come from the top primary schools, where they were groomed to be the top students of the country. Only a very few percentage of students in the top secondary schools came from just normal average primary schools, just like only a few percentage of students in the top junior colleges come from average secondary schools. Most would be from the more established schools.

It is a commendable effort on the parents’ part to ensure a good future for their children, and the part of the school to further stream students according to their learning abilities, but the bigger picture is that the bright ones will forever be the best, and grow up thinking they are the best thus everything must go their ways.

It is always the case where once someone is good in his / her studies, he / she can get away with everything, and once someone is not good in the studies, everything he / she does is wrong.

Students started to be streamed in primary schools. There was the Gifted Education for the super smart kids, EM1 for the best of the school, EM2 for the more average students, and EM3 for those “doomed” to go to the Normal Technical stream and Institute of Technical Education route so to speak as they failed all their subjects.

Some schools even started streaming students from Primary One so those who already know their work would be put into the best class for accelerated learning, and those who did not even know their ABCs would be put together to learn at their own pace.

While streaming is not that bad an idea as pupils of different learning abilities can be put together, but it brings down the morale of the kids in the tail-end classes, as they think they are doomed to a bleak future.

After all, those kids from Gifted or EM1 normally end up in the gifted education or special stream in secondary schools, and will always attend the best schools. Secondary schools are so ranked because of this.

EM2 kids may end up in the special stream (for those with a little more smarts), or else most will go to the Express stream, and some to the Normal Academic stream. The difference is that for Gifted, Special and Express streams, it takes four years to complete the ‘O’ levels, whereas for the Normal Academic and Technical streams, it takes five years, with the ‘N’ levels at the fourth year and ‘O’ levels at the fifth year.

EM3 kids often than not end up in the Normal Technical stream, where the subjects are more technical-based than academic-based. Those top EM3 kids may end up in the Normal Academic stream, but they will never have a chance to go to the Express stream after their PSLE, unless they top their Normal Academic stream in Secondary One. Such is their fate.

Normal stream pupils can choose to exit after ‘N’ levels or continue on to do their ‘O’ levels. Once they exit after their ‘N’ levels, it is the Institute of Technical Education for them, or else they have to seek apprenticeship somewhere and learn a skill. They will never have a chance to go to a polytechnic, unless they become the top students of the Institute of Technical Education.

‘O’ levels still open the gateway to almost everything else. Pupils can go to junior colleges (for brighter or more hardworking kids), or else a polytechnic for those who did not do as well and prefer a more technical and industrial education, or also the Institute of Technical Education for those who scored badly.

Thus the pathway has been set for students. If you are good in your studies, you go to a good secondary school, a good junior college, and a good university. If you are just average, you go to an average secondary school, an average junior college or polytechnic, then university if your ‘A’ level results make the grade or if you are the top few percent in the polytechnic.

If you are not academically-inclined, your path is that of a technical education, to which you can still go to a polytechnic and later on university if you make the top few percent of scorers.

That is why I say the education system is rigid in the sense that once you are not academically-inclined, you seem doomed for a different path. Which should not be the case as some people may just be late-bloomers.

To stream them according to results even in primary school may be too harsh. Some kids may just mature intellectually later. There have been cases where kids never did well in primary schools but later became the top students of their secondary schools.

Due to the streaming, the kids themselves may understand that they are of a certain caliber, thus there is a risk of killing off any potential top scorers around, since they have the impression that they are a failure in life and will always have that mentality.

Kids during their formative teen years are very sensitive, so once they think that the school and society rank them as such, they will behave as such. If society deems them as scum, they will behave like scum. Which is why the EM3 and Normal Technical classes always have the most number of disciplinary cases.

Perhaps kids can be made to understand that the streaming is not to condemn them to a certain fate, but rather to let them learn and study according to their own pace and ability. And as I have mentioned, give praises for whatever little achievements instead of putting them down just because they did not score well. I believe the kids will appreciate that better and give less trouble as a result.

Giving Praises ....

At times I wonder why is it so hard for people to give praises? Why is it Chinese people, especially parents, find it so hard to praise and show their love? My friends’ parents never scolded them to the extent like how my parents treated me, but they never praised them either.

All my life I wanted acceptance and praise from my parents. I yearned for that more than anything else. I do not care for the expensive gifts they give me, or the trips they bring me, or the big feasts they feed me with, or the big house they provide for me. I can trade all these just to have one word of praise from my parents. I do not mind living in the streets as long as I can gain acceptance from my parents.

Is it really so hard for people to give praises? Even adults crave for praises, let alone children. It does not have to be anything much, just a simple praise on how nice a hairstyle looks on someone or how good the person look in some clothes. These are just few simple words, but they put a smile to others’ faces and mean a lot to them.

The first time I had an essay published in upper primary, the English Head of Department of my school wanted me to print it out and paste it on the bulletin board together with my photo so the whole school could see who wrote that essay.

I went home feeling so excited, but all my parents said was it was just an essay, no need to be so excited about. And if I could get my essay published, why was it I could not manage to score well enough then?

When I went into my secondary school instead of those top schools which my mum chose for me, she told all my cousins not to follow in my footsteps and go into a lousy school. During Home Economics lessons, I made sure my recipes were perfect and specially cooked or baked the various things so I could bring home for my mum, and all she did was to give criticism on how awful the taste was.

When I wanted to go out for movies with my friends, buy CDs, go clubbing, she told me why was my mind filled with doing mindless things instead of focusing on my studies? When I did badly for my first mid-year examinations in Secondary One, she insulted me by saying that I could be dead for all she cared.

When I tried my best for the second half of the year and managed to improve my grades by over ten marks, she scolded me for scoring so low. When I topped my class for English, History and Geography in my Secondary Two mid-year examinations, all she said was I could have topped the class if I scored well for Mathematics and Science, and since I could do it she could not understand why I never wanted to do it.

That was why I hated studying when I was young. Besides all the comparison with my smart relatives who always managed to enter the top schools and in the top classes, I never got praised no matter how much effort I put in my studies, no matter how much or how slightly I improved.

I wanted so much to just give up studying after my ‘O’ Levels. I was of the mentality that since I was useless anyway, so might as well not study and continue being useless. Since no matter how much I scored did not matter anyway, I thought of just stop studying altogether.

When I went with my first ex, she said I only wanted to show off to everyone that I could find a boyfriend at that age. I told her straight that at least my boyfriend loved and cared for me more than she ever did and needless to say, I got another big scolding.

But during my late teen years, I was already immuned to all her scoldings and insults. I stopped trying to prove myself. I stopped trying to please her since she was never happy with whatever I did.

I went in and out of the house anytime I liked without telling her where I was going since she was going to forbid me from going out anyway. She scolded me for treating the house as a hotel, but I told her the house was worse than a hotel since it only seemed to be a place of insults, scoldings and sleeping.

I stopped talking to her or telling her of my achievements. When I did badly for my examinations, she focused on how badly I did instead of the fact that I was still able to pass into the next level. So I stopped telling her my scores.

Each time my parents talked to me, I would answer “Mmmm” or “Ooooh”, since whatever I said was misinterpreted and would only get told off, I learnt to keep my mouth shut, I learnt to stop talking to my parents so as to prevent more put-downs.

Even now, all these years later, I still find it difficult to talk to my parents on a lot of things. Like I will never tell her about those jokers I meet as they would only say negative things. I can never tell her my feelings about others, as she would tell me to examine myself first before I deserve to love someone.

When I heard of friends who turned to their parents after quarrelling with their boyfriends, I was so envious. I could never tell my parents the problems I have with my boyfriends, as instead of comforting and advising, I would get negative comments to make me feel worse.

Most of the time when I ran into problems, I would blast out in my diary, or cry to myself in my room. I could not even cry in front of my parents no matter how badly I wanted to. Sometimes I just wanted to cry in front of them so as to see if they could give me a hug and comfort.

I did cry in front of my parents before but all they said was nothing could be so serious so do not go around seeking sympathy from everyone. After that, I went to my room each time I felt like crying, each time I quarrelled with my boyfriend, each time I failed in something. I kept all my failures and problems to myself.

My point is that all kids want recognition from their parents, no matter how young or old they are. Even adults want recognition from others. The time when my mum really praised me for something I did I was so ecstatic that I thought that was the happiest day of my life.

The time my mum praised me for being a good teacher, praise me for painting my nails so well that she thought it was done by a professional, I was shouting out in joy. People may think it is no big deal, and why do I feel so excited at being praised at my age, but it is a very big deal for me.

I spent my entire life trying to get my parents to recognize me, and even though what they praised me for were very minor things, I am still over the moon with joy over the fact that finally they praised me for something I did.

So parents should really praise and encourage their kids more. It really means a lot to them, and show the kids that you really care for them. Not just parents, but we should all learn how to dish out praises to others genuinely. It may not mean anything to you, but it means a whole lot to the person you praise.