Stamping Away ....

I am never a collector, as in I do not go around buying antiques or things which only the rich and famous collect, but I do have my own little collection of stuff. When I was younger, I used to collect more things but now only very few things are left.

I used to have a collection of saga seeds and seashells, but these were thrown away when we shifted house. What a pity, these had rather great sentimental values for me. I used to have lots of stickers too, but after exchanging with my friends when I was young and giving to my students as rewards, my stickers had depleted.

Hence, the only things left are my coin, notes and stamp collection. I have a booklet of coins from almost all over the world. I cannot remember how I got it. I think it was when my dad brought it home one day and I took it. That is rather precious indeed.

The next one is a note collection, not an official one though. I just keep some of the older local currencies which have been discontinued. I do not have that many though, my guy is the one that has a more vast note collection than me, and he gave me a few in every denomination.

The one that is still ongoing is my stamp collection. Strangely, not many people I know collect stamps. I always thought stamp collecting is more common than any other types of collection, but none of my own friends collect stamps. Just as well, then the stamps can be exclusively my own!

I have been collecting stamps since I was ten. I first started when my mum got a letter from China, and I saw the stamps were so beautiful that I tried to remove them from the envelope. Then my mum found out and taught me the right way to remove stamps - to soak the envelopes in water until the stamps dropped out, then leave the stamps out to dry.

I find that method too troublesome, so mostly I just peel off the stamps carefully. If the stamps are glued so tightly that I am not able to remove them, I will then use a scissors to cut them off, with the pieces of envelope still stuck to them.

After that, each time mail came in, I would collect the mails and peel off the stamps. My parents helped out by taking home the envelopes from their office correspondence and helped me remove the stamps and my mum bought me a stamp album to store them.

As a result, within a year, my stamp collection grew from local to Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand (courtesy of my maid at that time), Philippines (my new maid after that), China, Australia, and countries which my parents work places were dealing with.

My most prized possession then was a triangular-shaped stamp from Malaysia. This was the one and only stamp that was triangular in shape, but when my little Australian cousin (little then, he is an adult now) saw it, he asked me for it so I gave it to him.

I even ordered exclusive Disney stamps featuring Mickey Mouse and other Disney characters. I initially wanted that as my collection, but since the same cousin wanted it, I gave him the entire Disney collection.

Then I started making pen-pals, partly to write, partly to correspond and find out about other countries, and partly for the stamps of course. So I started having stamps from Britain, USA, Canada, Greece, France, Spain, Sweden, Japan, Hong Kong, Pakistan and some other places which I cannot remember for now.

Even after most of my pen-pals and I have stopped corresponding, I still remove the stamps from the envelopes I see at home. My friends and exs helped me out as well by giving me the stamps from their daily mail.

Now that I work in a company with subsidiaries overseas, I get to see more stamps. Recently, I get to see stamps from Guam and British Virgin Islands. Two countries which I never have correspondence from, thus I have never seen the stamps.

The stamps are nice actually. Guam is an American territory, so the stamps show the Statue of Liberty. However, I just realised that the British Virgin Islands are also an American territory since they also use American currency in their stamps.

Why is it called British Virgin Islands then? According to information I came across, the Americans just call them Virgin Islands. Are they the same place or different? British Virgin Islands are a group of islands somewhere off Puerto Rico. Lately a lot of local companies are being incorporated there to save on taxes and legal restrictions.

My guy collects stamps too, so now I am in the midst of sorting my stamp collection and giving him half of my stamps, especially stamps from those countries he does not have. Hopefully he will like the stamps I give!

Healing Hands?

I had to go for a medical checkup under my insurance plan sometime last week. Since I was feeling a little fluish as well, I thought the medical appointment came at the right time, as I could then kill two birds with one stone.

When I went in for my checkup, I told the doctor I have been having the sniffles and sore throat as well. She told me in that case I have to see another doctor for follow-up since that cannot be claimed under the insurance.

I told her that my company also uses the same medical group, so I can claim that under my company. She then said that my appointment was only for a medical checkup, not to do anything else.

I was totally bewildered. As a doctor, is she not supposed to treat the sick? Does it matter even if my appointment is only for a medical checkup? If I am not feeling well, do I not have the right to ask her to treat me, and is it not her responsibility to treat me?

I was reminded of another incident which I read in the papers some time back. There was an accident outside (or near) a doctor's clinic. Someone rushed into the clinic and asked the doctor to examine the injured person.

The doctor said that his clinic was crowded, and anyway he had no reason to treat the injured person since that person was not his patient. How can any medical practitioner say that? Does it mean to say that he can let an innocent person die due to his negligence just because the person is not his patient? Is a doctor's job not supposed to treat the sick and injured, regardless of who the person is?

I believe these are only few and far in between. I know most doctors are in the profession to heal and be a care-giver, except for those black sheep who are in there just for the money and think too highly of themselves.

But as doctors, their profession is to heal and help the sick and injured. Thus, it requires much more care giving and responsibility than other professions, since human lives are at stake. Not treating someone just because the person is not a patient is just irresponsible and selfish if I am to put it bluntly.

Young Or Old - Which Is More Difficult?

The kids I took care of on Sunday stayed at a Children's Home next to an Old Folks' Home. According to the House Mother, there are more workers and volunteers going to the Children's Home instead of the Old Folks' Home. Thus, the Old Folks' Home is always short of helpers.

I guess it can be that people's impressions are that between kids and the elderly, they will prefer the former anytime. Kids can be boisterous and demanding, but to a certain extent, not so much as old folks.

To many people, it is indeed a chore taking care of old folks. About a decade ago, there was this debate going around with adult children abandoning their elderly parents, which led to the Maintenance of Parents Act. As a result, any child (legitimate, illegitimate, biological, adopted, step) has to repay his / her parents for giving birth and taking care of him / her.

When the Bill first came along, there was an uproar. The elderly, especially those who have been neglected by their adult children, applauded the government for approving this Bill; but some of the children ridiculed the Bill.

Some said how they treat their parents are of no one's concern, and it was not that they did not care, they just did not have the time. Some said that things have got to such a sad state that taking care of parents, which should have been the children's responsibility and obligation in the first place, had to be made compulsory.

Of course, taking care of our own parents next time when they get old should be our responsibility. After all, they brought us into this world, took care of us, ensured we were given the best (generally) and stood by us no matter what happened. The least we can do is to take care and be responsible for them when they become old and sickly.

But it is not easy taking care of an elderly person. I saw how my late grandfather was struck by Alzheimer's disease, I saw how his body deteriorated, so much so that he even lost control of his own bodily functions.

We were still young, my parents are working full-time, and our maid have us and my grandma (although she was healthy and good then) to take care of, especially since my youngest brother was only a toddler then. Thus, my parents had no choice but to send him to a nursing home where he could be given full attention and care from qualified care-givers.

Does it mean to say that my parents are mean and unfilial for "dumping" my grandfather in a nursing home? I did not realise it then, but now I know it probably pained my parents too to see my grandfather in such a helpless state.

I remember we used to visit him every weekend, bringing porridge and soup and necessities, and he would always be so happy to see us. My parents even paid extra to ensure he had the best care and facilities. I was not sure exactly just how he took to my parents sending him to a nursing home, but whatever it was, I hope he understood why they had to do that then.

Strangely, two of my exs had totally opposite reactions when I told them about this, long after my grandpa had departed this world. One of them said my parents were totally unfilial, he would never dream of dumping any of his parents at any old folks home, as it is the responsibility of the kids to take care of the parents.

The other one had no qualms doing that. His dad suffers from diabetes, and his condition would worsen the older he gets. When it gets to a stage where his dad is no longer able to take care of himself, he would bring his dad to a nursing home to receive utmost care and treatment.

Up to now, I am still not sure whether it is right to just "dump" one's parents at a nursing home, and only visit them once in a while. But one thing I do know is that the older one gets, the more difficult it is to live with the person.

I have lived with babies, young kids and old folks. I have seen how my youngest brother grow and how my grandma is getting more and more frail. And honestly I feel it is still much easier taking care of kids than old folks.

Kids grow up fast, within a matter of years they are of the age to take care of themselves. Whereas once an elderly person gets weaker, more and more problems will suffice, and he / she can be in this state for years.

My grandma is getting more and more difficult to live with. She goes around scolding everyone. There is no reasoning with her sometimes. One thing good is that she can at least still move around on her own and controls her own functions, so in a way, it is not that hard to take care of her.

Thus I can fully understand if most people prefer kids to the elderly. It takes someone really really patient, tolerant and accommodating to be able to take care of the elderly very well.

My Favourite Prayer ....

This prayer always touches me. And now with the pictures, the entire prayer is even more beautiful and meaningful than before.

Acceptance Of Gays?

One thing I notice about my company is that they take people in based not just on qualifications or merit but also personality. Which is a good thing, because sometimes someone may have the best results but not necessarily the best worker.

What is even more impressive is that as long as you have the same qualifications and personality, you will be employed, no matter what physical defects you have or the type of lives you lead.

I discover that there is someone from another department who is deaf, so he cannot speak as well. Although he is not dumb, he has not learnt how to speak due to his lack of hearing ability. But he has never let the handicap gets to him.

He has been in the company for seven years or so. It is a good thing because I believe he was hired based on his qualifications and experience, not anything else. Which is more than I can say for some other companies who turn away good candidates the moment they have some form of disability.

There are colleagues who have declared themselves gay. I was speaking to a female colleague who went on the run with me, and she was telling me how heartbroken she was when she broke up with her female partner. Apparently the other colleagues know about that as well.

My heart really went out to her and I tried to comfort her. She spoke like a person who lost a guy she truly love, which, in a way, is true. The good thing is that she can declare her preference so openly and not face any ostracism from anyone. Other companies will not do the same. Some companies may even terminate your services once you are "not normal" in that respect.

I read an article once about how some civil servants have to hide their identities as homosexuals as they are afraid of getting fired. Is it necessary to fire someone just based on this? Would it not be unprofessional if someone is fired based on the life he / she leads instead of work quality?

If our local laws have already been amended a decade ago to allow marriage of transsexuals (provided the man-who-becomes-a-woman marries a man, or the woman-who-becomes-a-man marries a woman, ie marriage of different genders), why are homosexuals (or those who are in the midst of sex change) still not legally recognised?

I am not even talking about same-sex marriages, but just the acceptance of gays in general. Afterall, it is their choice which gender they prefer. If they truly love each other that is all that matters I guess. And sometimes homosexual relationships may be even longer-lasting than heterosexual relationships.

In A "Drunken" Stupor

Is someone who is tipsy extra appealing to others? I was a bit drunk after my company's event last night. I wonder why actually, considering I only drank half a glass of champagne, and downed it with lots of Coke, Orange Juice and water.

The company event was really fun! There were lots of dancing, interacting, free flow of food and drinks. About three-quarters of the employees turned up. It was a Latin theme so I was dressed like a peasant, typical long flowing skirt with peasant top, with red lips and nails.

Anyway by the time the dancing started, I was already a bit tipsy, so I went off. I was not that drunk until I was totally comatose, but tipsy enough to feel giddy, hot and heaty all over and not able to walk properly.

I thought I could walk to the train station and catch a train home, but my head was killing me, so I sat down around Boat Quay and took a rest first, since the bar was at the tip of Boat Quay, where the statue of Raffles is.

I tried going off a few times, but each time I took a few steps, I felt like collapsing, so had to sit at one of the stone slabs around the river. A cat came over and rubbed herself against my legs. I stroked her and she bounded onto the seat and started rubbing herself against me and purring. I continued stroking her until she found a new target and jumped off.

In the end, I had to call my guardian angel and asked him to bring me home since it was no use me hanging around Boat Quay on my own at that hour of night. I tried to walk to the nearest train station, and this time I managed to succeed, although there were times I felt like collapsing.

And that was when that happened. I heard someone blasting loud music behind me. I turned behind and saw this guy whom I recognised as sitting by the river near me. He gave me a big smile.

I quickly turned back. If I was sober, I could have quickened my steps, but I was already walking in a zig-zag way. The last thing I wanted to do was to faint and let someone take advantage of me!

Then that guy became bolder and actually walked in front of me and blocked my way. He asked me for my phone number. I stared at him and ignored his request. Then he started begging me to tell him my name and number.

I ignored him and walked all the way to the train station. He was following me behind! On one hand, I was anxious whether my guardian angel could reach on time; on the other hand, I was worried for myself.

I told him that I do not even know him, why should I even tell him my name and number? Apparently he thought I am not local, probably from his country (he looks Filippino or Indonesian), so kept asking which country I came from.

I thought I would never brush him off, so I told him that I am meeting my boyfriend, please leave me alone. When I went down onto the platform, I was so afraid he would just follow me in, but luckily he did not.

Just as well my guardian angel came at that moment and he brought me home in an almost drunken stupor. I slept on his shoulder all the way home. I felt so sorry for him to call him out at that hour and then neglected him all the way.

Needless to say, I slept immediately after showering upon reaching home. And woke up with a hangover this morning, with a throbbing headache. Yet it is another work day ahead. *Sigh*

Never A Chef Wannabe ....

I am never a cook. In fact, the only times I fumbled around in the kitchen were the times when I was assisting my exs when they were cooking. I did cook a few dishes, with their supervision. Which was why I was rather proud of myself when I whipped up fried bee hoon last year for a gathering and the fried rice few weeks back.

I never subscribe to the belief that a woman must know how to cook for a man. I always feel that if a woman loves her man, she will learn it on her own accord, but never should the man demand it as one of the qualities she must have.

I will cook only if I want to, not because the guy imposes it on me to. Besides, if the guy truly loves me, he will accept the fact that I am rather domestically-handicapped.

I have done some Home Economics back in school, so I do know how to cook simple dishes. However I have always liked baking more than cooking. Maybe because I am more of a sweet tooth, so I much rather enjoy baking a cake or cookies than cutting vegetables and meat and getting oil all over myself.

Unfortunately I never have a chance to bake because I do not have an oven at home (save for the microwave). My parents have never bought any cake-making materials as they disapprove of us eating too many cakes and cookies. Thus, normal utensils for cooking suffice.

However, after my fried rice stint, I have developed a slight interest in following recipes and whipping meals of my own. Or maybe it gets to a stage that I am sick of eating out most of the time, and wish to sometimes just whip up a few dishes of my own besides omelette, instant noodles and porridge.

For instance, if I get a craving for mee siam or laksa, instead of going out to get (and sometimes not being able to find any), would it not be better if I just prepare it on my own? Saves time and money. These two dishes actually have rather basic ingredients and relatively easy to prepare; I just have to know how to get the soup or gravy thing right.

And I find that cooking is therapeutic. It is not just a mere mixing and matching of dishes like one does in clothes, but more like an art because it reflects your feelings. It calms one down, relaxes your mind and soul while preparing the dishes, and then forces you to cheer up because no matter how well-prepared the food is, it will never taste good if the person preparing it is unhappy.

It is a joy cooking for loved ones, and an even greater joy if they love what you prepared for them. Having said that, I really wonder how to prepare the ingredients and cook properly without cutting, hurting, burning and dirtying oneself.

And which way to slice or dice vegetables to get the perfect cut into small pieces, instead of the chunky ones I always end up with.

Of Housing Blocks (And Baby-Sitting)

I have never lived in an apartment except that period of time before we moved into this current house. It was a private six-bedroom walk-up maisonette. The building has only four floors, and I was staying on the third floor, with no necessity to take an elevator. I just needed to walk up and down whenever I went out. My parents still own the apartment and they rent it out to expatriates and suitable tenants.

Which is why sometimes I get claustrophobic in an elevator in a housing block, especially the older flats with the old elevator that looks and feels as if it may give way any time, not to mention the smell of urine which people still do in the elevators of older flats. The old elevators do not stop at every level, and there is no glass panel which allows one to look outside, so I always feel uncomfortable when I take this type of lift. Somehow I never get this feeling when I go to a newer flat.

I am never one who can find my way around housing estates. In fact, I get lost wandering around housing estates. The trouble with flats is that they all look the same. Some of the bigger blocks that are L-shaped or C-shaped, have their block numbers shown only at an obscure corner. As a result, it is hard to see which block I am at, especially since the lift lobby is way over at the other end.

I always wonder why for such a long and wide block of flats, there are only two elevators, both on the same end. Which means people who are staying in flats at the other end of the block often have to walk down a long corridor just to reach their homes. Why can the lifts not be right in the middle, or on both ends instead? It will give others more convenience, especially the elderly and disabled.

Anyway I was meeting my cousin yesterday to bring some kids from a Children's Home to Sentosa for her company's Family Day. I got down at the bus stop opposite, and then got lost. She was staying at Block 206. Right in front of me was Block 204. Next to it was Block 207. Behind it was Block 208. Where in the world were Blocks 205 and 206? The trouble with these blocks is that they do not run in sequence, thus it is hard to find where a particular block is.

After wandering around for a while, I realise that Block 205 is behind 207, and 206 is next to 208. How are those blocks arranged anyway? How did the Housing Board decide which block number at which location, and how the numbers run? Perhaps for those who are used to staying in housing estates are able to find their ways around easily, but for someone like me, I always get confused over the many blocks of flats I face.

Finally I managed to find the place and my cousin then guided me in the opposite direction from where I came in order to hitch a cab to Palawan beach. Once we arrived, it was a massive four hours of baby (or kid) sitting and discipline. I never know I would ever do this again! Generally the kids are alright, not much of a difference from primary school kids, or rather, not much of a difference from the kids of the primary school I was teaching in, and the kids there are generally more defiant and difficult than others.

The only trouble is that because the kids are not used to me since I am neither their teacher or guardian, they take no notice of instructions. But still, they are not that hard to manage. They are still polite and friendly, and warm up to adults very easily and well, not downright rude or demanding. And a lot of people donated their lucky draw prizes (like a television set, a hi-fi set, tidbits and hampers) to the kids at the Children's Home.

The kids had a good time at least. They played sandcastles, got involved in tele-matches, waded in the water, watched a magic show, ate KFC and ice-cream. And I happened to meet an old acquaintance from law studies who is now a senior officer in the company, as well as a former colleague who came with her boyfriend and his family.

At least I had a memorable day, despite all the tiredness and sunburn (almost). However I am in no hurry to take kids out again! I need to be truly well-prepared before I am willing to take kids out again, because it is very stressful indeed if you are responsible for the kids' lives and safety and not able to answer to any form of accident or mishap.

Not A Runner ....

The Bull Run on Friday was almost a disaster. We were supposed to assemble and start the run by 5:30pm, but it was raining so heavily that everyone was stuck at the nearest subway. After waiting for a while, we borrowed some umbrellas and made our way to the assembly area.

There was free water and Milo for all the runners. Quite a few of the bigger organisations are involved as well. The rain subsided around 6:15pm, so the organisers decided to proceed as usual. We did our own warm-ups and stretching and the run started at 6:30pm.

I could hardly run as it is. My colleagues were all so far ahead of me! We came from work so still had our makeup intact, and some of my colleagues' eye makeup was smeared due to the rain. Luckily, I had waterproof mascara on so I did not end up looking like a panda, or looking like someone gave me a black eye.

I ran and brisked walk at the same time. I tried not to push myself too hard for fear of having a stitch at my side, so whenever I felt like I could no longer run, I stopped to walk. It was not easy as well, since it was still drizzling, the ground was still wet and puddles were everywhere, the water seeped into my shoes and I had to move around in wet feet.

At least I managed to finish the race in thirty-two minutes, thirty-six seconds. Nothing great since the distance was only 3.2 km, but better than I expected already. I thought I would take an hour or a quarter of an hour just to finish the entire lap.

The goody-bags for the participants are really good. It is a genuine sports bag (the size where one can put a pair of sneakers or a bowling ball in) together with a bottle of mineral water, a bottle of roobois tea, a 2007 table calendar, a back massager in the shape of a bull, a towel and some other stuff. Much better than all those other tacky goody-bags from other events.

Now I am aching, especially around the back of my thighs and calves. The run is fun, but count me out for any marathons next time, especially if the distance is ten kilometres or longer!

A Disastrous Meet-Up

I wonder if I am too sensitive, or just petty? Perhaps both. Am I the only one to think that it is wrong to be so distracted during an outing? Am I justified to feel irritated?

I met up with an acquaintance a few days back. It was just a casual meet-up, since we have been talking about meeting up but never got the opportunity and kept postponing. Since we finally found a time where we could meet up, we decided to just have a drink after work.

The moment I sat down, he told me he needed to rush off as he had to go for another friend's gathering. I was rather bewildered. In the first place, if you have a prior engagement, then why meet me on that day? We could always meet another day.

Then throughout the meeting, we were supposed to be catching up with each other, yet before I could even get a few sentences in, he was constantly interrupted by phone calls and messages, and kept replying and answering his phone.

To me, it is alright if someone answers a phone call or replies a message while out with me. Even my guy does that. I do that too. But to keep on being interrupted every few minutes while he answers the phone or replies a message, I find that downright rude and irritating.

Before we could even strike a decent conversation, he told me he needed to rush off after half an hour, as his friend was rushing him. Now, is that not just impolite? It is alright if he has an appointment after that. I do that sometimes, schedule one appointment after another, although I make sure there is sufficient time in between.

But to ask me to meet him, then in the end he had to go before half an hour was up, and constantly on the phone while I was meeting him, I find that unacceptable. If he was so half-hearted and disinterested in the first place, then why keep asking me to meet up?

Worse thing was that he kept asking me the same questions again, he said he was not really listening when I was telling him the first time round. Granted even if I am someone he dislikes, at least if he asked me out, try to be more attentive.

I do not mean people have to shower me with attention, but I always feel that the basic thing when meeting up with anyone is to at least be attentive to the person, instead of making the person feel left out and neglected.

Anyway I am sure never meeting up with him again. One time is more than enough.

Facts Of Life ....

The gallery at my work place is having a big sale, so I went down to take a look. Apparently they have lots of samples and products that are never on display, so finally I managed to get something for my friend's upcoming wedding!

I got them a set of porcelain utensils, complete with saucers, chopstick racks, two pairs of wooden chopsticks, a table mat and plates. Not too tacky but practical at the same time. I only hope they will like it.

I was doing a bit of research on the living expenses here. And this is what I found out :

Lowest price of a car - S$55,000.00 (just a small, four-seater, 1.2 litre car)

Lowest price of a flat - S$190,000.00 (for a new, two-room public flat, in an obscure area and facing the sun or a cemetery)

Apparently, a resale or second-hand flat is even more expensive, since it is readily available, and especially those in a good location and popular among buyers.

And the price only covers the car (without the Entitlement Certificate), and an empty flat without any furniture or utilities.

From what I am earning, even if I do not spend a single cent (which is impossible), I will take probably two life times or even more just to save up, or to pay off all loans and mortgages incurred. And that is only for the flat alone, not counting the car.

Really hats off to those who can already own a bigger car and private flat at my age or younger. I seriously wonder how they manage that.

Fun Activities To Look Forward To ....

I have been battling a flu virus since Monday, and so far the score is 50-50, body vs virus. I have been having the sniffles, sneezing, itchiness of throat, giddiness and traces of phlegm. I cannot get sick at this time! There are so many things going on the next few days!

Today I will be involved in the SGX Bull Run. My company donated a certain amount to the charities involved, so a few of us are asked to take part in the run. And why me? Because I am one of the youngest available. And somehow my Human Resource Executive got the impression I am willing to take part in fun events. How did I give him the impression, I wonder?

Of course I am willing if it is for charity. Just that I have not run for a very long time. Even jogging and brisk walking have not been a part of my life ever since I left school. Anyway we have been given T-shirts sponsored by one of our resorts which we are supposed to wear as our company attire, with a numbered bib and khaki bermudas or capris.

This year's Bull Run involves dogs too. There is even a doggie race! In that case, why is SPCA not stated as one of the charities? Somehow in almost every fund-raising, there are funds for hospices, under-priviledged, sick people, which is good, but yet animals are never remembered in any fund-raising. If SPCA needs funds, they need to raise it themselves without much support from any organisation, and the amount of donations they get are never enough.

This Sunday, I am going back to the beach at Sentosa. I have volunteered to bring a group of kids to the Ministry of Home Affairs Family Day for an outing. These kids are from a children's home, and they have been abandoned or neglected or kids of prisoners. Ever since I left teaching, I never thought I will ever bring a group of kids (save for my own relatives) out again!

We are having a company gathering on Monday night. There will be singing, dancing, drinking, fun and laughter all round. It will be a Latin theme, so I will probably go dressed up as a peasant!

Incidentally, I came across this. I will so like to take part! Unfortunately, December is always my busiest period, especially since my family will be away for the first two weeks. Hopefully I can squeeze some of the activities into my schedule! It will be so fun!

Psychology ....

I went for another counselling session last night and my counsellor wants to see me again next month. Oh well, if I am going to fall into depression again, it will be good if someone holds me at the other end.

I feel there is a big injustice to counsellors or social workers in general. They are psychologically-trained, so able to study the behavioural and thought patterns of an individual, and help them as much as possible.

Then why are they being so much lesser-paid than psychiatrists? Is it because psychiatrists are medically-trained, and they treat mental illnesses? But there is only a thin line between someone on the verge of mental breakdown and someone actually breaking down.

Psychology was actually one of the subjects I was interested in. Perhaps it was just as well I did not enter Arts after all, because I would be at a loss which subjects to choose. If given a choice, I would have taken English Literature, History, Psychology, Philosophy, Political Science, Sociology and Social Work, but alas, students could only choose up to two majors and one minor.

The only form of psychology I studied was two modules of Educational Psychology, plus one elective of Basic Counselling Skills, where there are theories after theories of children's behaviour and mindset. Needless to say, theories and practical often do not interface. Whatever one studied is normally never utilised since the actual scenario is so much different.

If I am to do psychology, I will want to study the criminal mind. A former law coursemate actually went to Australia to further her studies in Criminology and Justice Studies. She initially wanted to try for a post in the Police Force, but somehow her application was not approved.

Humans are interesting creatures. Which is why psychologists and psychiatrists are having so much business. And being a counsellor is pretty meaningful when he / she can help people with their problems and assess the different ways people think.

But the most interesting would be the criminal mind. What makes one want to commit a crime? What makes one want to do something illegal? Is it a case of split personality or schizophrenia? How would the person feel while committing the crime?

Because if one can get the psychology behind the crime, it makes the modus operandi and motives so much easier to fall into place.

Of Wedding Gifts (Or Lack Of)

I went into the LiveJournal page just to see the difference, and I find that users have the flexibility of marking some entries private. Perhaps Blogger should have this function. It creates convenience if certain things are only to be shared among parties involved and not everyone, yet at the same time does not lock up one's blog totally.

Of course, if one wants to be truly private, then it makes more sense not to blog at all, as anyone can access through the world wide web. The most Blogger does if one wants to mark the blog private is to remove it from its listings, but in some cases, whatever one writes will still be available on the net per se.

There are other functions where people have to log in using a password just to access the blog, but I do not like it as it will inconvenience others. And chances are, if people need to log in using a password, human nature is such that they rather not go in at all.

I was looking around at the gallery (the retail arm) at the basement of my office earlier on, trying to find something for my friend's upcoming wedding dinner. It will be on a weekday, which means that day I need to be a bit more formal looking at work.

I have known him for over twelve years. We were from the same music class, and perhaps because we have about the same family background and of the same age, we started clicking with each other. I am slightly acquainted with his wife as well.

Anyway I was trying to see if I can find something for his wedding, but the retail arm deals with spa, aromatherapy and scents, plus nolstalgic stuff. Somehow I do not think he or his wife will appreciate the wedding favours range.

I am always at a dilemma when it comes to wedding gifts. The most practical thing is to just give cash gifts, and some wedding invitations do state they only want cash gifts. Personally I feel if it is a wedding, people should be able to give what they like to the wedding couple.

Of course, staying in Singapore, it is a different story altogether. Most people here do not give sensible gifts. Couples receive toasters, rice-cookers, and whatnots from well-meaning friends and relatives, things which most wedding couples will find tacky. So of course, the most sensible thing to do now is to just give a big red packet.

I bought a pair of crystal swans for my cousin's wedding in Singapore, as well as a pearl-encrusted photo frame cum jewellery box for my cousin's wedding in Australia, and a pair of Precious Moments wedding figurines for his solemnisation last week.

Come to think of it, am I getting myself into trouble? He got me a pair of Kalm's wedding bears for our engagement gift, and he said he would like a pair of Precious Moments figurines as a wedding gift. At that moment in time I thought I was fulfilling his wish, but now I wonder if I am getting him into trouble as well?

What my company's retail arm sells for their wedding favours may not appeal to most locals. Afterall, how many people here actually indulge in couple aromatherapy, complete with scented candles, incense and soothing music?

Personally I will like it. My husband and I giving each other back rubs using massage oils, lighting candles all over, inhaling the scents and creating a romantic ambience. I once told this to my third ex, and he burst the bubble by telling me that the house will catch fire with all the candles around. *Sigh*

On the other hand, I find so many things there for my cousin's upcoming wedding in Malta. Somehow I get the feeling he and his wife will appreciate the gifts more. I can foresee them lighting candles all over their house, yet somehow I can never foresee my friend and his wife doing the same thing.

Maybe this is the difference between someone more Westernised and someone who is very Asian, or Chinese in particular. So I guess I just have to give a red packet as yet again when I go for his wedding dinner.

A Dog's Life

My name is Cookie. I am two years old today, which makes me a pre-teen in human years. This picture was taken when I had just finished cutting my hair. See, do I look handsome?

My father is a pomeranian and my mother is a shih-tzu, which makes me a toy breed. That accounts for my mild-temper. I will not dig around the garden and destroy the flowers, or get soil all over myself, or bark at anything and anyone. Rather, I am a lap dog. I can sit down quietly for hours. I love sitting down together with my family! I love to keep them company and show them my affection.

I was actually an unwanted puppy. My parents gave birth to eleven of us. Their owners then started selling my brothers and sisters away. No one wanted me as my hair is dark, and have a black snout.

I was supposed to be sent to a pet shop and later to the SPCA. I was only two months old then. But when my mistress knew about my fate, she begged the pet shop lady to let her keep me. The pet shop lady know my mistress very well as she will pop by once in a while to play with the other dogs there.

My parents' owners then said if she wanted me, she would have to fork out S$350.00, as my brothers and sisters were sold for S$450.00 each. My mistress paid a total of S$500.00 just to rescue me. And got a big scolding from her own mummy for paying so much just to get a dog. Which is why I love her so much!

I hope my mistress can be happy. Sometimes I see her crying to herself. She dared not cry in front of her daddy and mummy. When that happens, I will go up to her and lick her tears away. There was once she was on the sofa and sobbing her heart out. I wondered who had bullied her and made her cry?

I climbed on her and hugged her. My front leg was too short to go around her whole body, but I used my paw to stroke her. I looked up at her with my forlorn eyes. I wanted to tell her that I get upset when she is upset too.

My birthday is just two weeks after my mistress' birthday. My mistress and her maid take very good care of me and I love them very much. They always buy the nicest food for me when I am good and bring me to the doctor when I am sick.

But I hate going to the doctor! My butt will ache each time after a trip! I think doctors are very sadistic creatures who like to torture me by pricking me with something sharp! And I hate it! But my mistress always tells me it is good for me. How can anything painful be good?!

My mistress and her maid allow me to lounge around in the living room. I had even gone upstairs and stayed around her legs when she was on the computer. However, when her mummy is around, back to the kitchen I go. She does not like dog hair all around the house, so she confines me to the kitchen and outdoors. :-(

But I like to jump on my mistress' lap when she is reading on the sofa in the living room. I can get close and cuddle up to her. But now her mummy told her to stop me from jumping up on the sofa, so each time I do that, she will carry me down on the floor.

I wish I can have a girlfriend. I have been playing with two female retrievers down the street, a golden retriever and a yellow labrador retriever, but they are both too big for me. I wish I can have a girlfriend my size. There is a female shih tzu the other side of the street, but she is too young for me.

My mistress says she is going to bring me to be neutered. No way! It will be too painful! I can hardly bear the thought of it!

I hope my mistress brings me good treats today! I have tried to behave myself to the best of my ability! My favourite food is Solid Gold. It comes in a golden packaging for adult and silver packaging for puppies, but my mistress never liked it. She said the food contained lamb, and that lambs are too cute to be eaten.

However, this is the only brand of dog food I eat, thus she has no choice but to continue buying for me. She tried changing my diet to Pedigree before, but I do not like the taste of it and I seem to be allergic to it as well, as I got sick after taking it.

Her mummy told her to stop spoiling me. She said I have to learn to eat anything that is put in front of me, be it chicken bones, rice, minced meat, and even fish and some vegetables! I do eat chicken bones and rice, but hate the rest!

I am lucky to have this mistress. That is what all her friends say too. She always gets upset whenever she sees dogs and cats being tortured and abandoned, and she always comes back depressed whenever she goes for her once-in-a-while volunteering stint at the SPCA.

So I must stick with her, and not let her down. No one can bully my mistress, not when I am around!

Emotional Blackmail?

Humans are very interesting creatures. They can do all kinds of things to people they claim they love or care about. How often have people achieved something in life by cheating or lying the way through, and hurting those closest to them in the process?

The worst form is blackmail. I am not talking about monetary blackmail, where in a lot of crime stories, the blackmailer happened to dig out an unpleasant past about someone where the person involved would like to forget, and the blackmailer asked for a huge sum just to keep his mouth shut.

I am talking about emotional blackmail, where someone uses emotions and secrets to make another person do another thing. Typically, this person may say, "You want me to keep a secret right? Then do this for me, otherwise I will splash your problem to the whole world."

But as friends, should one even do this to another friend? Let's say A goes to B in confidence. A takes B as a good friend, someone trustworthy. A is confused and depressed and needs someone to talk to, and since B knows A pretty well, A goes to him.

The thing is if B agrees to help A and gives him advice, then do it as a real friend with no strings attached. A's problem may be something major, and he does not like others to know for fear of implicating some other person.

So he told B to keep a secret. B did all he could to give advise and lend a listening ear. However, some time later, B needed A to do something. The thing may not be within A's power to solve, so A, although grateful to B and wanted to do everything to help him, was not able to do what B asked.

Thus, B used A's problem to threaten A, saying that if A did not do what he asked, he would tell everyone what A had told him. How would A feel? If I am in A's position, I would feel really cheated and betrayed. Why would my good friend do this to me, since I went to him in confidence and trust?

Then even if A did everything he could but still not able to solve B's problem, B then went to tell C what happened to A, with a bit more exaggeration, and then both B and C started boycotting A and A wondered what he did to lose two friends just like that.

Now why would B do something like that when all along he had acted as a true friend to A, which gave A the confidence to confide in him in the first place? Is B a hypocrite all along? What caused his sudden change in attitude?

Or is it because A's problem is too much for him to handle, and he thinks A is someone bad and irresponsible? But then that is A's problem, so as a friend, should B not just advice and support instead of blackmail and boycott, and worse, turn others against A?

Emotional blackmail does not happen to friends alone. Even family members do the same thing, even for minor things. Just like my youngest brother happened to know something about me which I did not want to get into trouble by letting my parents know.

So he promised to keep a secret. And for him, he will keep his promise, but he will make me do a lot of things for him, like being at his beck and call, dropping everything else just to entertain or run errands for him, all so that my parents would not know what I did.

That was years back already, and I am glad to say he does not do that anymore, at least not that much nowadays, and I hope never again. But if even siblings can do this to each other, let alone just mere close friends who have no blood relations whatsoever.

Even couples do that as well. How often have I heard my friends telling their girl / boyfriends, "If you love me enough, you will do this for me", or "How come other girls / guys can do that for their loved ones, yet you will not do it for me."

Then the poor guy / girl in question will have to complete an impossible task just to show true love. This happened to me a lot of times already, in my past relationships. I had been told things like if I did not do something, it would mean I did not love him enough, or do this to show how much I loved him.

Is that the way to love a person? Loving someone comes from one's whole heart, and loving someone means being good and true to the person, and not using the person as comparison or showing off how much better he / she treats me than yours.

In some countries, even parents do that to their own children. In the poorer countries, some parents sell their children off to be slaves, but yet always tell the children if they love the family, they will do it willingly. The poor children will then never have good lives after that.

To me, I will never dream of doing something like that, whether to my own family or friends. If someone comes to me, I will do my best to listen or help. Helping someone is through one's goodwill, is not through expecting something else in return.

Whether the person appreciates my help after that is another matter altogether. If I can help, I will try my utmost best, if not then too bad. If helping someone means expecting something else in return, then that is not real help.

Playing Host To (Un)Punctuality ....

I was supposed to go for a Deepavali lunch tomorrow at my friend's place, but it was cancelled due to poor response, probably postponed to another day.

It is rather a relief to me that the lunch is cancelled. I enjoy the gathering, as it is almost a yearly affair, and I have known my friend for such a long time. He was the one that brought my third ex and I together, and never once blamed me or took sides when we parted.

But it is a relief because he is a poor organiser. I should not say "organiser", but he is not one to keep to timing. If he says twelve noon, the lunch will start only at two at the earliest. Which means those who arrive at twelve exactly will have to sit around in hunger waiting for lunch to be served. And for me, I have better things to do than just sit around and wait for people.

I am not saying I hate waiting for people. It is ok if I have nothing on afterwards, then we can all hang around and catch up with each other. But it is irritating if someone has something on afterwards, and the entire schedule is disrupted just because one was expected at twelve yet did not get anything done until three or so.

For instance, if I go to his place for lunch at twelve, I would sort of assume the lunch would start at twelve or one at the latest, and then I schedule something at two-thirty or so. Am I being unreasonable for doing that? Personally I do not think so. If you expect someone at a certain time, then jolly well start on time, or not more than an hour late.

So if I reach at twelve, and nothing was ready and it was only at two before the lunch really starts, my appointment at two-thirty will then have to be cancelled or postponed, provided my friend does not have anything later as well. So not only my schedule is disrupted, but other people's as well. And it is unfair to others if I delay their appointment just because my original appointment is delayed for no reason.

Of course, I can just go off, but if I do that, then my friend will be so embarrassed, since I am not the only friend there. And if others can wait, so why can I not? Besides, I did promise him to attend his lunch gathering, so it will be uncool of me if I just go off.

This is not the first time this happened. The previous few times when I went to his house for Deepavali gathering, be it lunch or dinner, it is always the case. The first few times I did not mind waiting as I had nothing scheduled the rest of the day.

The last time I almost got into trouble. He invited me to his place for Deepavali dinner, and I went with my third ex and his mum. The dinner was stated at seven-thirty, and by the time we reached there, it was eight. Apparently, his mum had not even started cooking.

So we amused ourselves by watching video discs, playing computer games, and chatting with each other. It was nine-thirty when dinner finally started, and I was already in a frenzy as I told my mum I would be home by ten.

I called my mum and told her I would be delayed, and said the dinner had not started. She scolded me as to why the dinner had not started, and could I just go off? But since I was there, it was not nice to go off.

By the time dinner ended, it was ten-thirty. I did not mean to go off immediately after dinner, as it would make it seem as if I went there just for the food, but I had no choice since it was really late and the journey back to my place would take an hour by train and half an hour by cab.

So I said I needed to go. My third ex told me to stay a while more, he said he would hitch a cab back with me later, but I said I really needed to go, he could stay if he wanted but I had to go. He and his mum then left together with me, and on the way back, he kept chastising me for being so rude and leaving immediately after eating.

He told me why not explain to my mum? I did try to explain to her, but my mum is the type that if she says seven, people have to arrive fifteen minutes earlier as she will start straight on the dot. So even if it is any of my relatives or friends' meal gatherings, she always made sure we arrive ten minutes earlier than the stipulated time.

So she will never understand why a dinner can start at nine-thirty when it was stated at seven-thirty. I guess I cannot blame her in this respect. I cannot really blame my friend too as he was the host after all, and by right, no one should start before the host gives the nod.

It is up to others how they want to play host, but for me, if I give a party or gathering, I will make sure that it starts on time and everything was prepared before that or at the stipulated time. Otherwise, it will inconvenience people if things get delayed.

Jar Of Life ....

Received this from my best friend, and I find it truly meaningful and heart-warming. The example the professor used is very real indeed!

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles then rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They said it was.

The professor then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes".

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now", said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favourite passions - and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

"The same goes for your life. If you spend all the time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18.

"There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

At this juncture, one of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I am glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there is always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

So when things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when twenty-four hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the two cups of coffee. :-)

Writers Bureau - For Aspiring Writers?

I happened to come across this. If my MP3 can take all of it, I will want to copy everything and listen to what Celia or Viola sounds like. Wonder if all the characters are being portrayed well. A pity none of my most favourite plays are featured. Hopefully all will be added in soon!

I received an email, followed by snail mail, featuring a brochure from The Writers Bureau. This is an organisation that gives correspondence courses to budding writers. All bases seem to have been covered, since they have the real beginners' course that covers everything, and also specialised courses.

The best thing about this course is there are no examinations, only tutor-marked assignments, and students can start anytime they like, as well as take their time to complete the course at their own pace, since there is no structured semester.

Apparently this course seems pretty well-received, and not that expensive too! I must research on how widely-recognised it is. If it is recognised and useful, I will not mind taking up the Comprehensive Creative Writing Course, which covers writing style, how to sell your writing, developing the craft, newspaper writing, articles, women's and men's writing, articles pertaining to general interest, travel, kids, humour, religion, non-fiction, fiction, novels, short stories and plays.

I will also like to take up the Freelance Journalism Course, The Art of Writing Poetry Course, and the course on writing biographies, memoirs and history. There are even specialised courses for those who want to write only novels or short stories, or those who only want to write fiction, or non-fiction, or exclusively articles.

There are even resources to help budding writers, like a free e-zine that gives tips and insider market resources, guide and reference books, competition details, and people can even engage the tutors to review and appraise their work at a nominal fee!

All in all, the entire course sounds pretty interesting. It ties in very well with what I like to do. I am so tempted to take it up, if all looks well. That is, if I can juggle my time, resources and finances very well together.

A Snob?

"You are such a snob!" said my third ex to me the other day when I met him at his request to collect my birthday gift.

My reply to that? "It is not a matter of being a snob, it is a matter of environmental awareness and public health safety!"

The scenario? Dinner at a coffee shop, then dessert at McDonalds. And since there were not much places left in the coffee shop, we had to share a table with a middle-aged man, a smoker. I felt like being put inside a chimney, inhaling soot after soot after soot.

He was making me lose my appetite. I saw him smoking one cigarette after another. The last straw was that he turned his head to my direction, looked me up and down while I was eating, and blew smoke in my direction!

I never feel comfortable when someone scrutinizes the way I eat. It makes me feel so self-conscious! And I never can tolerate if there is smoke in my face or hair. Not to mention my sensitivity to smoke. That guy was just slowly smoking and enjoying his beer, totally oblivious of other's discomfort.

So I spoke up. I told him that I like to breathe in clean fresh air without any form of pollution around me, and I like to enjoy a decent meal without anyone blowing smoke at my direction. And besides, it is already illegal to smoke at most public eating places, so I can have him sued if I want to.

He looked at me, and I glared back. I told him I would appreciate if he can sit and drink his beer without smoking, or else shift somewhere far away and then continue smoking. So he quickly finished his beer and left the table.

And that was when my ex told me off. I brought my point across, and added that my health is already not as strong as others, the last thing I need is to one day get lung cancer from second-hand smoke. In the end, he had to agree that was the best thing to do.

Maybe I am a snob. Maybe I should be more tolerant. If it is just swearing, cussing, gambling or anything else, I can still take it, pretend that nothing happened even if I cower in discomfort inside.

But when it is to do with the air I breathe in, then I think I have every right to ask for fresh clean air instead of stale smoky air. Afterall, the smoke does not affect me alone; it affects all those around me who do not smoke yet fall victim to all the second-hand smoke.

There was a simpler way. My friend and I could just leave. And if there was another place available, we would have left. Except he insisted on eating at that particular place since he missed that place and he was craving for the food from his favourite stall. Just too bad that day happened to be crowded.

Come to think of it, I am taking a big risk. I hope that man does not remember what I look like, or is not involved in any triads. I do not want to get beaten up or killed because of this!