It finally happened! And while I'm crying my eyes out (in the office, no less! Thank goodness my immediate supervisor is on leave) trying to get over the fact that I've become the dumpee (as again) instead of the dumper, I am also simultaneously trying to get some reports churned out. Yes, I'm multi-tasking, blogging, working, crying, checking mails, rushing documents for clients all at the same time. Not a good idea if I wish to remain gainfully employed, but I'll start imagining things if I don't occupy my mind.
Much as I wanted to sleep last night (or this morning), I was crying too much to get to sleep. I started taking out Da Vinci Code to read. One of the best books I've read last year. I could not even get past a page without my mind conjuring up images and I just could not get rid of them no matter how I tried. So I started clearing my wardrobe, sorting out all my clothes, got rid of some, changed my mind, put them back, got rid of others, changed my mind, put them back again. After an hour, my wardrobe was still as full as ever.
Then I decided to watch DVDs. I went to the living room and settled down onto a couch, but my dad suddenly appeared and asked me what I was still doing up. (Good question, what was he still doing up then in that case?) Not willing to let him bombard me with questions should he see my tear-stained face, I just went back to my room and started reading again, this time my collection of Archie comic books. But even their slapstick humour could not make me smirk, so I gave up and just buried my face into my pillow and cried until I dozed off.
My alarm clocks (yes I have 2 to wake me up) chimed at 7:30am. I woke up with a jump and was still feeling so blue that I was contemplating taking MC for the day, especially since I saw how swollen my eyes were. But I figured better to go to work to occupy myself rather than rotting at home and letting my mind idle. So I made sure I'm heavily concealed (as in lots of concealer to get rid of my eyebags and counter the swollen eyes) and made up before leaving my house.
Thus, here I am, trying to juggle so many things at the same time. Imagine in just 24 hours, my life could have such a drastic change.
Much as I wanted to sleep last night (or this morning), I was crying too much to get to sleep. I started taking out Da Vinci Code to read. One of the best books I've read last year. I could not even get past a page without my mind conjuring up images and I just could not get rid of them no matter how I tried. So I started clearing my wardrobe, sorting out all my clothes, got rid of some, changed my mind, put them back, got rid of others, changed my mind, put them back again. After an hour, my wardrobe was still as full as ever.
Then I decided to watch DVDs. I went to the living room and settled down onto a couch, but my dad suddenly appeared and asked me what I was still doing up. (Good question, what was he still doing up then in that case?) Not willing to let him bombard me with questions should he see my tear-stained face, I just went back to my room and started reading again, this time my collection of Archie comic books. But even their slapstick humour could not make me smirk, so I gave up and just buried my face into my pillow and cried until I dozed off.
My alarm clocks (yes I have 2 to wake me up) chimed at 7:30am. I woke up with a jump and was still feeling so blue that I was contemplating taking MC for the day, especially since I saw how swollen my eyes were. But I figured better to go to work to occupy myself rather than rotting at home and letting my mind idle. So I made sure I'm heavily concealed (as in lots of concealer to get rid of my eyebags and counter the swollen eyes) and made up before leaving my house.
Thus, here I am, trying to juggle so many things at the same time. Imagine in just 24 hours, my life could have such a drastic change.
8 comments:
Pardon my intrusion to your blog. But you sounded as if you were more upset being the dumpee (again) than grieving over the failed relationship.
If it is more about your ego being hurt (shoud have dumped first before being dumped, huh?), well, the healing process would be completed sooner than you expect.
But if you do mourn about the failed relationship, did you not have a list of reasons why you should dump him? You may feel better if you go through that list again, re-rate the minus points (for example, he's being too mummy's boy has the point deducted only 10?)
Thanks for your comment. Would you mind leaving your name next time? No matter what happened, it is still upsetting to know that you have shared good memories and fun times together for quite some time and now everything ended on a sour note.
So you think being a mummy's boy should be more undesirable? Hmmmmm....
BTW, are you a friend of Ricky's?
No matter what happened, it is still upsetting to know that you have shared good memories and fun times together for quite some time and now everything ended on a sour note.
Yeah, must have felt kinda shock, at first--even with the list on why he should be dumped. Soon you may feel denial: This can't be happening, I should be the one who dumped him. Hopefully, next you could be angry: How can he treat me like this? Then, you will be healed with resolution, like what your best friend said about how life goes on and he's not worth your time.
I find it very easy to reach the stage of Denial. In fact, I'm lingering in it to the extent that I couldn't even recall who dumped who in my last ruined relationship.
So, still not angry yet? How would you not be---with this crazy jabbering from a trespasser who doesn't even have enough courtesy to leave his name. *grin* Besides, you may likely just want to be listened. As such, the last thing that you want is to have others overshadow your grief with their own (they should do so in their own blogs, riiight?)
Good...be angry with this impolite attempt of hijacking your blog & twist the feeling to your situation. Let this be a reminder about how your ex clowning around and surprise yourself on how generous you were in deducting merely 15 points for that.
So you really think I've been very generous huh? I myself think it's rather a mean thing to do to put everything into numerical value. Afterall, I don't think people really like to be assessed and graded like some stock.
Guess I did a poor job in trying to irritate you. Anyway, you seem to cope well. (4 entries of blog posted within 1 day! That's impressive...)
ps1. Yes, you're very generous. So, shouldn't your ex be the one who ought to feel upset of dumping you?
ps2. To put everything into numerical value when assessing someone may not sound nice, but it's definitely more logical than just to dump someone based on gut feelings.
Actually I'm not coping as well as I should. I posted so many entries so as to keep me occupied with things. I'm in big danger of bingeing and overspending again, which I know it's not right, but I just can't help it.
Looking forward to reading your tips to the readers about healing a broken heart once you've successfully dealed with it.
(heh, not-so-subtle way of saying that you're going to get through it).
Thanks for all your support! Glad to hear you like my entries!
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