Blondie - The Comic Strip

Lately I have been exploring comics. Graphic novels, comics, manga, they are all the same. I used to read some Japanese comics (translated into Chinese), as well as American comics. My favourites are still Kindaichi (fantastic sleuthing mind), Archie (and his gang), Foxtrot, Dilbert, Cathy to name a few.

Recently I have been reading Blondie. I have known about this comic strip since young when it appeared in the Sunday papers. Through the years, I never fail to read this comic strip. However, about two years back, the strip stopped running in the Sunday papers. Hence I went to do some research and turns out that the comic is still running, and have been running for about eighty years in fact!

The reason I love Blondie is because it is a family strip. The main character Dagwood (Blondie's husband) is a clumsy bumbling employee, forever getting picked on by his boss with no increment through the years, loves eating and napping, and most importantly, loves his wife and kids dearly. His wife is always first in his life, so he refuses to work overtime or go for drinks with his co-workers just to go home and have dinner with his wife and kids.

With such a plot, who can not love the strip? How I wish I can have a Dagwood Bumstead as my husband too - despite the clumsiness, laziness, quirkiness and idiocy, he is one family man who loves his wife dearly. It will be good if my guy can model himself after Dagwood Bumstead!

Humour Of The Day

I received this from a colleague, which I find really funny but true!

Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr. in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...

I never looked at it this way before:
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

MENtal illness

MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist
AND

When we have REAL trouble, it's a.. HISterectomy.

Funny Characters On Facebook

My friend sent me this, on the nine most irritating people on Facebook! Cannot help laughing!

How To Marry A Rich Man (Fantastic Reply!)

A friend sent me this via email. I find it really amusing albeit true! Should "educate" all those men who are looking for pretty girls and all those women who are looking for rich men!

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here:
I'm 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste.
I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high:
Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary?
Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move
into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden, $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out?
(Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking?
I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

Awesome reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest.
Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.
Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money":
Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason.
The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset.
It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation.
If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted.
It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.
I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy.
And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...

J.P. Morgan CEO

Of WORK, WINE And BEER

Something funny which I received from a friend.

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Chinese Alliteration?

One example why you have to write Chinese characters properly :

Come to think of it, if I am to split the characters of my Chinese name up, it will sound suspiciously like a Japanese name ....

Interesting Bus Stops

A friend sent me this. Hmmm.. wonder if these are real or just superimposed? If these are real, why can we not have bus stops like these?

One side

Other side

This is a bus stop?!

The outside

The inside

Reminds me of the Flyer capsule

Are the people real?

Must be popular with kids!

Embarrassing Medical Examinations ....

Got this from my friend K. Almost fell out of my chair laughing!

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, Lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart".

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! The instructions now include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered "Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis , OR

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a woman I asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste", the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.

When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass. "Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

Submitted by RN no name

Obituary : The Bonus

It is with a great sadness that we report the loss of a once-beloved friend who was an inspiration to many of us. Our dearly departed once provided us with the incentive to work hard, and helped to lift us from mediocrity to excellence. We grieve, of course, for the investment-banking bonus.

During his relatively brief life, the deceased touched the lives of hundreds of thousands in a remarkable fashion. Born into a world where 'leverage' was King, he helped concentrate the mind, and provided focus to those of us who sorely needed it. When he spoke, people listened. And his admirers craved his friendship, and wanted to align themselves with him to form long-standing bonds.

Those close to him would not hesitate to testify how enriching his friendship once was, and how he elevated their lives to levels they could never have reached without his acquaintance.

His life, however, was not without controversy. Often his friendship was flighty. Those who relied too much on his allegiance found themselves in a state of despair, often discovering that his favours had changed, and that he had moved on to link arms with other partners.

Since people were aware of his volatile nature, however, they sometimes demanded written assurances of his loyalty - a practice which gained him a certain notoriety, and gave rise to jealousy from those not blessed by his favours.

In the later stages of his life, many of his friends were found to be involved in a global network of fraud, unethical dealings and various other misdemeanours. Unfortunately, when the extent of these activities came to light, our fair-weather friend was singled out for his negative influence on the many individuals at the heart of these aberrations.

Finding himself under intense scrutiny from politicians and the media, he finally succumbed to the pressure and quietly left the scene, leading the last few years of his life in relative obscurity and somewhat disgrace.

The likes of our friend Bonus will never be seen again. He is survived by his more modest long-term partner, Base Salary.

Dumb Or Dumber?

Should these people win the prize for stupidity?

1. Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.'

After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was:

'Which of the following is the largest?'

A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.

'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.'

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans. 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'

Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Puh, that can't be it.'

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'

'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy.. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'

2. Another contestant on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” was asked the question : What is George W Bush’s first name?

A) Peter

B) Edmund

C) Torben

D) George

She looked stumped at the question and decided to use the 50-50 lifeline. Options A and C were taken away, leaving B) Edmund and D) George. She was still stumped, thus asked for audience participation. 55% chose D) George. After thinking for a while, she chose B) Edmund.

3. Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it.

4. One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where???'

5. While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.'

6. My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.

7. I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the half-kgr.

8. My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the boot...

9. My friends and I were shopping for beer and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....

10. I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...

11. I got off the plane but I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has our plane arrived yet?'...

12. While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding.. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

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Playing Around With The English Language

This is one of the reasons why I love the English language!

1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

Obituary Of Common Sense

Got this from a friend which I find very true!

OBITUARY

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two step-brothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended the funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still know him pass this on, if not join the majority and do nothing.

Installing A Husband

Something cute my friend sent me.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support

Falling Off A Bus Seat

I managed to find a seat on the bus as usual. This time, it is the seat just behind the exit door, next to the aisle. A burly guy was next to me, reading the newspaper. It was not that crowded on the bus so there was hardly any standing passengers. I was trying to take my book out from my bag when all of a sudden the bus swerved, jerked, and my first instincts were to clutch at the railing, but I missed, and the next thing I knew, I was lying flat on my back on the floor of the bus!

Yes, I was lying flat on the back just like that! I was expecting laughter but nobody laughed (although I had no idea if anyone sniggered). But at least the people were rather kind, they helped take my bag up (luckily nothing spilled out) and the guy next to me pulled me up and asked if I was ok. So I just smiled and thanked everyone. How in the world did I manage to fall off the bus seat? At least I emerged unscathed, save for two bruises on the right thigh. What a laughingstock I made myself!

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"Yes, D.E.A.R."

I was exchanging messages with a friend who knew I had a bad week. And his closing message was, "Yes, DEAR", which got me freaked out at first, until I saw the disclaimer after the word "DEAR" - (Drop Everything And Relax).

Now, is that ingenious or what? I cannot help but smile to myself. Hopefully he does not mean it literally instead of figuratively, otherwise I will get really freaked out!

When Graphic Artists Get Bored ....

Received this from my friend K. The amazing things one can do with Photoshop and superimposing. Somehow I cannot help commenting on the pictures! :-p

Another competitor for Ice Hockey?

How I wish someone can paint my nails like this!

That's a good way of telling others this frog is poisonous!

Interesting to see someone swimming in the middle of the road!

Strings pulling from Heaven?

Look out for the shark!!

What a way to fly!

Good idea to have a cow bearing the world map!

The poor kiwi!

Another way of saying its a Lady bug!

I cannot tell if these are dogs or flowers!

Trying out "Crocodile" brand shoes-to-be?

Banana eating us instead?

Cauliflower sheep?

How I wish I can have wheels for feet too!

An orange frog?

Cockadoodledoo?

Now how I wish I can change my head too!

Another term for "Panda" eyes ....

If the Earth ever swallows the Moon ....

Strawberries eating humans?

Hmmmm....

Let's see who will win the fight!