A Mixed Wedding

During the weekend, I attended the wedding of two fellow cathechists, who met each other in cathechism. They were in the same class so met each other's eyes. By this, I mean the two of them were conducting the same cathechism session to the kids, not the two kids getting married. It was a journey of slightly more than two years, and the proposal was about one and a half years after they got together.

 

Why is this a mixed wedding? The groom is local Chinese, the bride is Filippina. She came here to work as a single lady, and the year she decided to serve the church and conduct cathechism, it was the year she met her husband. How lucky!

 

Even though this is a mixed couple, the wedding is very Chinese style. As in there is still the tea ceremony, the traditional banquet, and then of course the full church wedding mass since both families are catholics. The church wedding was held at the very church I was baptised and confirmed in, and the bride looked so beautiful and regal walking down the long aisle of the church. Incidentally, this is also the church I always thought I want to marry in.

 

The church and high tea reception was on Saturday, and dinner banquet was yesterday. During the banquet, the bride and groom had fun with the speeches, and their family members performed for them and made speeches too. The bride even threw a surprise birthday party for the groom as his birthday is approaching. The groom's parents even praised the bride and said how honoured they were to have her joining their family.

 

I do not know about others, but I always love attending weddings. I know many singles may not feel the way I do, because whenever they receive a wedding invitation, they will get depressed and think about their own status. Hence many singles prefer not to accept the invitation to attend a wedding, especially since they will be going on their own.

 

But to me, I feel the wedding is for the bride and groom, and not on myself. Afterall, when people share their joy with you, the last thing you should do is to focus on yourself, is it not? Which is why I do not understand why people make a wedding invitation into some fiasco where they must cater the kind of food, go according to the kind of timing, and send according to the kind of invitation other people want, and not what the bride and groom wants.

 

I have a friend who told me, he will not accept any email or facebook invitations for a wedding. He says if people are sincere enough to invite him, they will have to call him personally. I told him that is not feasible, because if the couple is going to invite three hundred guests, are they able to call all three hundred guests? He is rather adamant on his stand, he says email and facebook invitations are so impersonal, if the couple really wants to invite him, then why can they not show their sincerity by calling him?

 

Personally, I feel if the couple even think about inviting me to share the happiest day of their lives and the start of the rest of their lives, I will be so honoured! Does the mode of invitation really matter? It is the couple's choice after all, who is anyone to dictate how and why the couple should or should not send out their invitations?

 

The same friend also said, he would not bother turning up early to a wedding dinner. He would only leave his house at eight and reach the venue around nine. He says after all the wedding reception would not start early anyway.

 

Well.. it is people like these who spoil the couple's joy! Wedding receptions do start on time nowadays, especially for those I have attended in recent years. The banquet manager will shoo us into the ballroom five minutes before the stipulated time, and the bridal couple would then start marching in right on time, or the most five to ten minutes later. Gone are those days where the wedding reception start an hour later than what is stated.

 

Anyway back to why I love going for weddings, because I can see the intense love the couple has for each other. Somehow, every wedding I attended, I find the couple so right for each other. Do not ask me how I know, I can tell. There has been no wedding I attended where the bride and groom look unhappy, except for one, and that ended in divorce. In all the other weddings I attended, I can see how much the groom loves the bride and that he is willing to do everything for her because he really wants to marry her and take care of her.

 

Is that not just beautiful? To be able to find a man who loves you enough to marry you and take care of you. I always hear of people saying this guy is so honoured and lucky to be with this girl, but actually all I want is someone I feel really honoured and lucky to be with, whose family loves and treats me like their own, and who is willing to love me enough to marry me and take care of me and my family, and not end up in false hopes and promises. Of course, I, in turn, will do the same for him and his family.

 

So all I am trying to say is, it is indeed a real blessing to be able to find someone like that to be with. Not everyone is so lucky. For those who are lucky, treasure your other halves, and tell each other how much you love each other everyday. Trouble occurs when you start taking each other for granted, but little words of affirmation, little hugs and kisses everyday do make wonders and do not require much effort.

Another Destination Wedding

It was a really beautiful wedding. It gives me so much happiness and joy to see two people so in love with each other. This is the second destination wedding I have attended, the first one was my cousin's wedding in Malta, and coincidentally, both are on the same date - 7 July. Just five years back, I went to Malta to attend another beautiful wedding of two people so in love and right for each other, and now five years later, I am so grateful to be part of another beautiful wedding!

My friend's mother-in-law and I left the hotel and went to her place early in the morning, where she had engaged a makeup artist to do our makeup and hair. While making up, the photography team was busy snapping away! Her aunt bought us some Sarawak kolok mee for breakfast, so we took a break in between to eat, before continuing with our makeup.

Soon we were dressed and the makeup was done. The parents of the bride then came in and did the traditional veiling of the bride, after which we posed for a few more photos before getting into the bridal car and going to the church. Along the way, the wedding coordinator called and told us we were late, which we were, and the priest was getting unhappy as he had reminded us to be early during the rehearsal two days ago.

By the time we reached the church, most of the guests were seated and waiting. We had to quickly get the flowers girls to be ready and get in line for the march-in. Since I was the maid-of-honour, I had to assist the bride every step of the way. Hence I did not take any photos of the church wedding in the morning, but it was a real honour walking down the aisle before the bride. Now I know how the bride actually feels like when she walks down the aisle to meet her waiting groom.

The church ceremony was over in about an hour. It was really meaningful when the bridal couple exchanged their vows, and when one look at them, they cannot help but feel both are really meant to be together. That is what true love is!

After the ceremony, there was more photo-taking, and then the guests proceeded to the back of the church for a small reception. Then we all left for the restaurant. I had to change out of my gown into my second gown, while the bride changed her makeup and hair. Around noon, we were read for the tea ceremony, which was held at one of the function rooms in the church.

During the tea ceremony, I felt like an "octopus", as I needed many hands to bring the tea to the bridal couple, collect the red packets and gifts given to them, recorded down the names of the relatives and carried all the gifts and red packets along with me! It was a mighty responsible task indeed!

After the tea ceremony, the bride went to change again, and I went to help out at the reception counter. Finally, around one in the afternoon, we were all ushered in and lunch began after the bride and groom marched in to the instrumental tune of "A Thousand Years", incidentally one of the favourite songs!

I managed to take photos of the lunch reception at the restaurant in Miri. The food was good, the ambience was good, and the ballroom is pretty big too! And did I mention the price is much cheaper than if one is to have a wedding held in Singapore in a similar restaurant and ballroom? I do not mean the price being cheaper due to the Ringgit-Dollar conversion, but it is really much cheaper overall, as the same reception can probably cost three times the amount here in comparison!

The reception table setting in the restaurant for the lunch

The table flowers

I really like these candles!

This message is just so appropriate!

Each table has a special attribute, my table is called "Integrity". There is also "Kindness" and "Honesty".

The super big wedding cake!

The flowers I was given, it is a bunch of baby's breath which is what I really love!

Flowers from the wedding

Papier-mache flowers we made for the church decoration

This was the original one - green with white hues

We ran out of green so the last few flowers we used only white and the effect turned out to be really good!

A Different Wedding Celebration

The past weekend seemed to be rather popular dates for weddings. On Saturday, I went for my friend's wedding and on Sunday it was the wedding of my dear's friend.

The wedding on Saturday was special because it was a traditional Indian ceremony held in a temple. This was the first time I was going to something like this so I had no idea what to do.

When we reached the temple, we had to first take out our shoes. Then music started and the groom had to go through some rites. After that the bride came in but she was ushered into a room at the back of the temple by her "sisters".

After that the groom was also led to the back of the temple by his "brother". The temple master (not sure if this is how he is to be addressed) then continued the music and the ceremony without the presence of the bride and groom.

A while later, the bridal couple appeared again with a change in clothes. This time they were seated side by side with garlands put on their necks. I must say, the Indian saris are beautiful! The girls look really elegant in them!

After the rites were conducted, we were given dry yellow rice to be thrown to the bridal couple. I was told this was to bless the couple. The bridal couple then had to walk one round the hall of the temple and that concluded the ceremony.

Reception was at the community centre next to the temple. It was a buffet lunch of Indian cuisine. It was a simple yet memorable wedding because this is something different for me.

Compared to the run-of-the-mill Chinese banquet I attended the following day, this Indian wedding is one of the most beautiful wedding ceremonies I have ever attended, because there is no fanciful stuff, no expensive ballrooms and no cheesy photo montages of what they look like as kids. It is just on a couple who are in love with each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.

And that, is how a wedding should be and getting married is like, instead of the big broadcast to show off to everyone and anyone. It is the bridal couple's affair after all what they want to do and what food they want to serve, and not anyone else's business.

If I ever get married, it is my business who I invite, what kind of food I want to serve and where I want to hold my wedding. It is also my business whether I want to showcase a photo montage and what kind of music to be played.

If there are people who are not happy and have things to say, then they are welcome not to attend, because getting married is the first day of the rest of my life as I join in matrimony to the man I am spending the rest of my life with, and not a mere wedding ceremony just for show to everyone and anyone.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wedding Vs Marriage

For the past five years, I have attended quite a number of weddings, be they relatives or friends. I have attended weddings held here in church or banquets in ballrooms (most common), or a solemnisation followed by a reception, wedding dinners and wedding lunches. I have also attended weddings overseas.

The most memorable one is still my cousin's wedding in Australia. It is simple, yet classy, sophisticated and elegant. Because it is a simple ceremony without all the pomp, yet at the same time classy enough with the reception at a venue facing the Sydney harbour, it stuck in my mind as something different. I always tell myself if I ever get married, I will want my wedding to be just like that - simple but classy, instead of the usual Chinese banquet where innocent sharks have to die just to satisfy the guests.

The concept of a wedding differs from individual to individual. To some, because it is a once-in-a-lifetime affair and girls have dreamt of being a fairytale princess since young, so the only time they can be a fairytale princess is during their own weddings where they dress up as brides.

To others, they do not wish to have a fuss and just have a simple legalization without telling anyone so no one would ever know they got married until they declare.

But weddings, be they big do or a small do, are only but one day. Of course I can understand that because a wedding is just that one day, many would want that day running as smoothly and as perfectly as possible. After all, it is just that one day in a person's life that he or she can be the centre of all attention.

How many of us actually remember the weddings we attended? I know I can barely remember most, save for the one in Sydney. Somehow that one is etched in my mind even though it has been eight years. Maybe because this one impressed me enough to make me yearn to model after it.

But after the wedding, what then? Is it the end? What many people fail to realise is that after all the stress and frustration of preparing a wedding and getting married, it is the life after that that truly matters.

I always thought the wedding day is the first day of the rest of my life. A marriage is for a lifetime, not the degradation which many people view as nowadays. If the couple cannot be committed to make it work and cower at the sign of any problems, then do not spend the time and money getting married for show.

A wedding is between two people, but a marriage involves other parties, like parents, in-laws, both sets of families and children. No doubt when a couple get married, they are forming a new family on their own. Their priorities should be with each other and no longer their parents. But parents and families should not be totally out of the picture as well.

Hence, is it better to have a big wedding but after that have no idea that it is a marriage, or a small wedding yet knowing how to handle a marriage after that? Each of us will have our own preferences.

For me, I want a marriage for life, not just a wedding for a day.

A "Perfect Ten" Wedding?

Yesterday was 101010. A very special day. In Chinese, it would be "shi quan shi mei", meaning "perfect". Needless to say, it being a special date, and being on a weekend, it was a very "hot" date for wedding couples. We saw at least five bridal entourage at Marina Barrage itself the short time we were there!

Today's news reported on the number of people tying the knot at Sentosa Island alone. There were at least one hundred and eighteen couples getting married at the various parts of Sentosa Island. Goodness knows how long they booked in advance and how much they had to pay for that.

But having a "Perfect Ten" wedding is not such a bad idea. At least one can never forget their anniversary, being on such a special day. It is all the more worthwhile and meaningful to get married on that day.

Having said that, a "Perfect Ten" wedding is not just in the date. It is also how the couple in question adapt to each other. A "Perfect Ten" wedding is also in how the husband and wife manage each other, handle each other, and be together despite ups and downs, through thick and thin, in sickness and in death. A marriage vow is a vow for life. One should never enter into the sacrament of marriage if one is not prepared to be in it for life.

This weekend I will be attending the Engaged Encounter. To be honest, much as I am looking forward to it, I am also rather apprehensive over what would happen. What if after this retreat, we discover actually deep down, we are not compatible? What if he decides I am not the one for him after all and just dump me, like the other guys before him? What if he feels everything is fine on a superficial level, but yet at the same time, not willing to work it through?

Much as I understand and know about how a marriage works, it is never easy. There will always be petty tiffs and useless arguments. Yet at the same time, I do hope to have my own "Perfect Ten" wedding to remember, and to behold. I can only pray and hope that my wish will come true soon.

Does Privacy Settings Work?

I am upset! I had been upset during my cousin's wedding on Saturday! I used to look forward to weddings, ever since my first cousin who got married when I was ten years old. Since then, I had been looking so much to when my turn would be.

However, in recent years, each time when I heard a cousin was getting married, I was both overjoyed and sad. Overjoyed because it is a good thing, but sad because when you see people younger than you tying the knot, and you are getting on in years, you start to wonder is there anything wrong with you that you feel as if you can only be left on the shelf? You start to wonder, when will it ever be your turn?

So on the day of the wedding, I took lots of photos, for my own collection. But since the photos are of my cousin's wedding, I decided to share it with the rest of my family too. I uploaded the photos onto Facebook, marked the album "Private", accessed by only me, and then sent an invite to only my immediate family members, ie my brother and my close cousins. No one else would be able to see it.

I thought it was alright because I had taken pictures of the wedding of some other cousins before, and no one else could see the album. At least no one said anything. So imagine my surprise when my uncle called me just now and scolded me. He said I should have asked permission first, that I should respect their privacy, and to ask me to remove all the photos. My uncle does not have a Facebook account, and I already told my cousins that the photos are private!

Yet my uncle said, he heard it from a third party whom he did not invite, and this third party called to ask about the wedding. He made it seem as if I deliberately "broadcasted" everything, when I did not! He said he did not invite everyone, so he did not want people to know. Honestly, in my opinion, if it is your wedding, you can invite whoever you like, and those who did not receive the invitation should accept it because it is the couple's wedding, they have no obligation to invite everyone under the sky!

I even asked my colleague to go into my account from hers, and she verified that she really could not see the photos. It is really private, accessed to only me and those I invited! So how could anyone else then access the album? In this case, how "private" is the privacy settings? Then it is a real infringement of privacy if anyone else can access a "private" album!

So now I am upset! It seems as if since young, whatever I do is wrong and whatever others do is right! My cousins only have people praising them to the sky, whereas for me, since young I seem to be scolded by everyone else! What a way to start the day!

Going The Distance

Today (yesterday actually), I witnessed one of the most beautiful weddings in my life. Of course, every wedding is beautiful, but this is extra beautiful because of the couple and the background involved.

My cousin has always been the smart, capable and well-behaved girl. She is what one will consider as perfect (or almost perfect) – a staunch Christian, God-fearing, tall, slim and elegant, pretty, smart, intellectual, thirst for wisdom, loves kids, loves her family, capable, family-oriented, takes care of her parents, younger sisters and her grandmother, and goes on mission trips.

She is also gentle, kind, demure, soft-spoken and nice. In short, she is everything a woman yearns to be, and a man wants in a wife. She is definitely someone I am not. She is a top Accountancy graduate from one of the local universities and got a job in one of the big accountancy firms here as a tax auditor. After a few years, she gave up a good career with good prospects and went over to help out in her father’s business.

Who is to know a couple of years later, she would meet her Prince Charming in the most unlikely way – in church, when he was vacationing in Singapore, who whisked her away to Sydney, leaving behind all her family, friends and everyone who loved her?

Because of his job (he is a paediatrician in Sydney), he is not able to leave everything behind to come here. He did try looking for a job here but I guess the terms were not up to his liking because he already has an established base in Sydney. Hence, it makes more sense for her to move down under than for him to move up here.

And so, began a series of shuttling back and forth for her. She would spend a few weeks here, go back down under, spend another couple of months here, go back down under again and so on. Of course, they started out long-distance. She only moved down there when the relationship was getting solid and decided to try out the life there for herself.

We have seen how, in the past couple of years, she shuttled back and forth. He would come as and when he could get away, which is not that often due to his job. We all know how much she loved him, otherwise she would never have given up her family to move down under, when she was still taking a big risk to see if it would work out eventually.

Hence, when they finally got married yesterday, everyone was so happy for her. When they exchanged their vows in their church, both looked like they were going to cry. It was just such a memorable and touching moment! During the dinner at Shangri-La, their wedding speech was just so touching and heartwarming too!

The guy, being handsome, young-looking, smart and established, actually said, “I came here looking for a job, but I didn’t expect to find a wife. I thought she could be a good friend, as I dared not hope for more because to me, how can such a wonderful girl remain single for long? But when I went back home, I kept calling her and then I really fell in love with her. She is God’s greatest gift to me.”

And her speech, “We got to know each other better through walks in Botanic Gardens, dancing at Dempsey, and when he was about to go back, I helped him pack. He would call me everyday when he went back to Sydney. I never thought a long-distance relationship would ever work out, but God has shown me that nothing is impossible, that miracles still exist.”

Is that not such a beautiful speech? This is a couple that is so in love with each other, that they are willing to literally go the distance for each other. Recently, I watched the show “Going The Distance”. I love the movie too because it shows that with true love, anything is possible.

My cousin’s story is so parallel to the movie. The bridal couple looks so blissful and so happy, that anyone seeing them cannot help but be happy for them too! Miracles do exist after all! I wonder if my turn ever comes, what kind of love story can I share with my loved ones?

Everyone has his or her own love story. In the case of my cousin, hers is really a fairytale indeed, with a fairytale ending.

Partaking In The Traditional Tea Ceremony ....

In every (or almost) Chinese wedding ceremony, there will always be a tea ceremony, for the bride and groom to serve tea to their elders, and for them to receive tea from their youngers (is that the right word?). This is a custom that has been passed down from generation to generation.

I have no idea how this tradition came about, but as far as I know, long long time ago, when people got married, the way they celebrated their wedding was to have a tea ceremony, to signify they are now "of age" and could start a family of their own. The serving of tea is a sign of respect to the elders, and the younger ones look upon them as a sign of respect, hence would serve tea to them.

Traditionally, it was the groom who had to fetch the bride from her home, then they would serve tea to the groom's family. The elders would just sip the tea (not drink up in one gulp) to signify that they approve and accept the newest family member.

If any elder (especially the parents) did not receive or drink the tea, it would mean he / she did not approve of the new daughter-in-law, and that would be an insult to the new bride as it would mean she would start her new life badly.

Then three days later, the groom would bring the bride back to her parents' place (with lots of gifts, including a whole suckling pig), where they would then serve tea to her elders, and in turn being served tea by those younger.

[On a side note, the suckling pig must be whole, any part missing would deem that the bride was not a virgin when she married, which would then be a big insult to the bride's family, as it would indicate they did not bring her up properly.]

However, in modern context, the bridal couple need not wait three days to go back to the bride's parent's place. Hence in a wedding ceremony, the groom would fetch the bride, bring her back to his place for the tea ceremony, then go back to her place for the tea ceremony, before they proceed to their new home.

Some would go to their new home immediately after the tea ceremony at the groom's place, then after which the last stop would be the bride's parent's place for the tea ceremony. I used to question why the trouble? Why not just have the tea ceremony at the bride's place since it was the first stop, then move on to the groom's place?

But after that I found out, if the couple had the tea ceremony at her place first, it would mean he married into her family instead of the other way round. Hence, troublesome as it is, the groom still has to fetch the bride to his place first before going back to her place. Now all these is done in one day.

Modern couples (like some of my cousins) cut it even shorter by getting everything done at the hotel. Instead of the groom fetching the bride and whatnot, they would arrive at the venue, do the solemnisation, had the tea ceremony, then the reception. Everything at one go.

Another tradition is that when serving tea to elders, an unmarried lady is not allowed to be served tea. In fact, if the elder "sister" is still unmarried, then she is not even allowed to witness her younger "sister"'s wedding.

I always wonder why? Apparently it is a bad omen for an elder "sister" to witness a younger "sister"'s wedding, as it would deem that she is past her prime and will remain single. This only applies to women, not men. Men who are single and older than the couple are still able to be served tea by them. Unfair, right? But that is the way customs are, whether they make sense or not.

Hence I have never been able to be served tea whenever my younger cousins get married. I could only shake their hands and wish them the best. Last Sunday, my cousin insisted she wanted to serve me tea as she realised that all along I have been missed out.

My mum was apprehensive of course, but my aunt told her not to believe in superstition too much, so for once in my life, I got served tea by a younger "sibling" who got married before me! And I must say, the cup of tea tasted really sweet! I am not sure whether it is originally sweet or because I suddenly felt so "important" in that few seconds!

But it will not be long now when people are not able to serve me tea. Perhaps by the time the next younger cousin gets married, I will have the full right to be served tea by them, with someone else by my side perhaps?

Wedding At St Regis

My cousin's wedding at St Regis was a classy and intimate affair. Even though the couple claimed they kept it small, in the end the guest list was still about three hundred people, just on the bride's side! The groom's side had already been invited for the solemnisation at White Rabbit on Saturday.

My first impression of St Regis is that it kind of look like an office building. Somehow it does not give me the feel of a high-class hotel. When I stepped in, again, it feels like just a normal hotel, without the feel of a six-star hotel. It feels no different than Intercontinental or Hilton!

We first went into one of the rooms for the tea ceremony. The bride wore a beautiful embroidered red cheong sam for the tea ceremony. She looked really elegant in it! After the tea ceremony, we proceeded to the second floor to the ballroom for cocktails and lunch.

The bride had changed into a white lacy Victorian-like gown that looks one of its kind! The gown flatters her figure as well as her looks and she looks really gorgeous in it! At the reception, I found out where I would be sitting and was given a bag of confetti which was supposed to be thrown at the bridal couple but in the end it was not used.

The bag of confetti (rice)

The ballroom is a normal ballroom. Okay, what was I expecting? Somehow I would think St Regis ballroom would have a design of chic, class and grandeur, but it looks like any hotel ballroom. Which makes me wonder, what is all the hype if it is just a normal place? And yet people have to pay premium if it is just but a normal place!

Before lunch commenced, the emcee told us that the vase of flowers in the middle of each table was for us to bring home and use as Christmas decorations. A good idea actually, it saves the flowers from going to waste after the wedding meal. Hence my mum took home the vase at our table.

The vase of flowers

At our seats there was a beautifully-wrapped box, consisting of a home-baked cake specially baked in Ipoh, Malaysia, by one of the bride's relatives. Somehow she sent it over here from Malaysia, and each of the guests had the priviledge of taking back the cake in a special box created by the couple as a wedding favour. In order to preserve the cake, the baker kept it in brandy! Yum!!

Samples of the cake box

The bride then waltzed in with her brother, and her husband took over halfway, signifying their first dance as husband and wife. Then they went onstage to cut the wedding cake, which the emcee claimed was a real cake and the guests would get to eat it for dessert.

The table setting was exquisite though. When the meal started, I noticed that the dishes were being served individually to each person. At other wedding meals, the dish would be in a big plate or bowl in the middle of the table, and the waiter / waitress would then scoop up individual portions for everyone at the table, leaving some leftovers on the main plate.

Then whoever who finished the first round could help themselves to the second round. This way is more convenient to the serving staff, but the problem is there will be people who tend to eat more and those who tend to eat less. Then those who love the dish would end up hogging the dish all to him /herself, without leaving any / enough for the rest. Or else no one wants a second helping and there are quite a lot of leftovers.

Hence I find my cousin's idea of individual dishes very good. Everyone gets the same dish and the same amount, no complaints about who gets more and who gets less. No leftovers (or not much) so wastage is minimised. And the gourmet fine dining setting of the individual dishes look really good!

Everything is individualised, including the sauces and condiments. Everyone has a dish for sauce, chilli, nuts and whatnots. Everyone has two glasses of water and one glass where we can choose the wine.

But I must say the faint lipstick mark left on my water glass before I started drinking was a bit unbecoming of a hotel of this standard. The least the dishwashers can do is to ensure there are no marks left!

The food was good. There were only six dishes. Seems that the couple personalised the menu and the guests thoroughly (at least I know my family did) enjoyed the dishes!

The cup of tea

The dish of sauces and condiments

First dish - Eternal Combination Platter
(L to R : Thai Style Shredded Prawn with Spicy Mango Salsa, Roasted Pork Neck with Honey, Oven-Baked Salmon Skin in a glass)

Second dish - Braised Sea Treasures in Pumpkin Soup with Conpoy

Third dish - Steamed Fillet of Marble Goby with Stir-Fried Asparagus (on the right)
accompanied with Stir-fried King Prawn with Yellow Chives (on the left)

Fourth dish - Braised Sea Cucumber (right) with Mushroom and Spinach in Superior Sauce

There was a break after the fourth dish for speeches by the bridesmaid, the father of the bride and the couple themselves, while we toasted champagne, which was poured for us after the fourth dish. Then everyone toasted to the couple!

My bottle of champagne

Fifth dish - Crispy Roast Chicken with Fragrant Spices (left)
accompanied with Eternal Golden Fried Rice with Olives, Prawns and Diced Vegetables

Sixth dish (dessert) - Wedding Cake with Raspberry Coulis (left)
accompanied with Lemon Sorbet

By right, it was supposed to be a normal eight-course meal, but due to my cousin's planning and by combining a few dishes together, the meal shrunk to six courses instead. Clever idea, then the whole reception would not drag on too long! Hence instead of the normal three hours, we finished everything in just two hours!

Looking Forward To A St Regis Wedding

A cousin is getting married this Sunday, and her wedding will be at St Regis. But then again, what else can I expect? This is the part of the family that is more well-established, so she stays in one of the high-class districts, and holds a Masters from Harvard under a scholarship from a big investment company, and her brother recently came in the news for being a top graduate from Oxford in law. So it is no surprise her wedding will be well-hyped and high-class.

I must say I am looking forward to it. Okay, I am one who looks forward to whatever weddings, but after a while, the weddings I have attended here are simply too similar and run-of-the-mill. It is always the banquet in a hotel, the march-in, the second march-in, the speech (which no one really listens), the toasting (which no one participates) and the photo-taking.

The weddings I have attended overseas (namely Sydney and Malta) are no less grand, but yet I love them, simply because they are classy and elegant. At least the environment, venue and people make the wedding ceremony classy, because no one would come in T-shirt and jeans.

Here, there are people who attend wedding dinners with jeans and T-shirt, and they deem that as formal. Hello?! How can any form of jeans or T-shirt be deemed formal enough for a wedding dinner, a banquet? I always cringe whenever I see people going for wedding banquets in jeans and T-shirt, be it polo Tee or long-sleeve Tees!

And the modus operandi leaves much to be desired. Okay, people here are generally more practical, so they give money in the form of red packets to the bride and groom whenever they attend a wedding dinner. I think it is also the fact that after a while, people are not sure what to give anymore, and all other forms of gifts may be tacky and useless.

Besides, after spending so much on a wedding ceremony, the bride and groom do welcome cash gifts. However, I do not agree with what some people write on their invitation cards : "Cash gifts are preferred", or "If you must give a gift, we prefer gifts in the form of cash". Are people so thick-skinned nowadays that they actually ask for cash from their guests?

Personally, I find cash gifts rather tacky. I welcome things like cards, and handwritten notes, or congratulatory messages if I ever get married. These things mean more to me than just money, because these things can be kept, stored and read over and over again.

Besides, if I am to give a wedding reception, I would have enough to treat my beloved guests in the first place, so they can partake in a bit of the happiness and joy in what should have been the best day of my life, the first day of the rest of my life.

I do not believe in how some people view marriages - pay half of the banquet, then expect to use the red packets to pay for the remaining. It is like asking your guests to pay for your own wedding, when it should be your own wedding to treat your own guests.

Of course the red packets do come in useful, but having a wedding and guest list should not be because the bride and groom expect to earn a lot in red packets so invite just about anyone just to get the money to pay for the banquet!

The guests themselves should not behave that badly too. There are people who just want a free meal, and give very nominal amount. If we are to attend a wedding banquet, and if we are to give cash gifts, the least we can do is to give an appropriate amount, say like one to two hundred dollars, depending on how close we are to the couple.

But I have heard of brides and grooms who told me they actually receive five dollars from someone, or ten dollars! The worst kinds are those who give more or decide to attend based on the location, and whether there are any sharks fin or abalone on the menu.

So does that mean if the venue is at, say, Concorde Hotel, or the menu has no shark's fin or abalone, the bride and groom do not deserve to be treated as well as say, a Ritz-Carlton wedding with lots of shark's fin and abalone?

The thing is if a couple decides to hold a wedding, it is their business which location, what food to serve, whether it is sit-down or buffet style, or who to invite. If they care enough to invite you, then one should feel honoured instead of grumbling so much. If it really bothers them so much, then they can choose not to attend!

Hence if and when I ever get married, it is my (our) choice how I (we) want my (our) own wedding to be, where the venue is, what the menu is, what the theme is like. I will never ever state that I prefer cash gifts on the wedding invitation. Rather, I will let my own guests give me whatever they desire, as long as it is from the heart. It is the thought that counts after all.

However, knowing most people, they will still give cash gifts. So that is not to say I will shun any form of cash gifts, because I do understand that giving red packets is the most practical thing to do for many people. And having any extra cash does help.

But I will never have the mentality that giving a wedding reception means getting cash from the guests in order to pay for the wedding. If I am to give a big reception, it means I (we) would have enough to cover in the first place.

One thing I will state on the invitation card though, is dress code. I abhor the idea of people dressing in jeans and T-shirts, hence I will definitely state the kind of dress code I want for my own wedding. And punctuality. I will state, "Doors will be locked at ____ sharp, so utmost punctuality is greatly appreciated."

And also I will ask whoever is the Master of Ceremonies to state for the guests to put all the phones and beeping devices to silent mode, and appreciate silence when the couple or parents are making the speeches.

Afterall, what I abhor more than casual dress code is the non-punctuality and rudeness of the guests. And to me, going to a wedding late, dressed casually, letting their beeping devices ring off and talking loudly while someone is making a speech, are all rudeness to me.

A "Perfect Ten" Wedding

The 1010 wedding was so perfect! I arrived at the bride's suite in the afternoon, where she had the veiling by her parents. Then it was off to a small room for the traditional tea ceremony with her relatives. After that my friend and I went back to the suite for a break while the bridal couple went around photo-taking on site.

Then the dinner commenced. It was a poolside buffet dinner. The bridal couple had the unity sand ceremony, very meaningful and symbolic. First the groom poured the sand, then the bride poured the sand. It symbolised their single lives. They took turns pouring the sand, layer after layer. Then finally they poured together, to symbolise their joint lives, no longer as one, but together as one.

After that the solemnisation and signing of the marriage certificate commenced. Then the couple went around taking photos with every table and the buffet dinner started. Since it was a buffet, everyone had the freedom to walk about and take food. People left after they have finished eating, unlike a sit down banquet of eight to nine dishes, where we had to wait for every dish to be served.

Halfway through the dinner, the couple went back to the suite to change. My friend and I followed to help the bride change into her traditional peranakan wear. Then the couple went out and poured the champagne, with a speech by the groom.

Since it was a buffet dinner, guests started leaving around nine-thirty. It helped that dinner started on time, around seven-thirty. Imagine if it was a banquet, dinner would not have started until almost nine! Hence it would drag on until eleven or later!

The whole ceremony was cosy and sweet. So beautiful! As I have mentioned before, weddings are always beautiful to me, as it signifies the joining of two single people who manage to come together despite odds and differences, with the commitment to live their lives as one, forever. And that is really a wonderful thing!

The Wedding Singer

It had been so long since I last sang for a wedding mass, four years to be exact! For some reason, even though I was up in the loft with the church choir and could hardly see the procession, I felt touched by the beauty of the marriage.

Perhaps because to me, all weddings are beautiful as it represents the commitment to be with someone and withstand all his / her quirks, go through happy times and sad times, trials and tribulations, to be together, for the rest of your life. That is the beauty of love.

The songs chosen were all handpicked by the bridal couple as well. So were the readings. What really inspired me was the priest's sermon. He said, "In order to keep peace and happiness in your house, the husband must make the wife happy. Afterall, if the wife is happy, everyone will be happy, but if the wife is unhappy, there will be no peace." Amen!!!

My Dream Wedding ....

I will be helping out at a close friend’s wedding this October. Hers will be a rather simple wedding, just the traditional tea ceremony at the hotel, then solemnization with a pastor and a poolside dinner. How cool!

Unfortunately, despite both her husband and her being of the same denomination, they do not attend the same church, so it is a bit complicated why they cannot hold their wedding ceremony in a church, even if they want to. Yes, church people do play politics too, sad to say!

I have thought of how my dream wedding is like. I believe I have mentioned before that I had planned out how the wedding is like, what will happen, all that is missing now is the groom. I used to think I want a big wedding, full of pomp and fanfare. Afterall, it is only for once in my lifetime, so why not make it as fanciful as possible?

But as the years go by, with more weddings to attend, I am starting to think that perhaps a big do is not that necessary. Most of my friends have big weddings in ballrooms, but all just blend together, nothing out of the ordinary. I want a wedding that is both memorable, unforgettable yet intimate at the same time.

So what will my dream wedding be like? It must be a church ceremony first, of course. It will be a full mass, not just a wedding mass. The band and choir will belt out their tunes. I will have my own special vow. At the end of the mass, we will each dedicate a song to each other before marching out.

The reception comes later. It can be in a ballroom or a cosy restaurant. It will have a musical themed where instead of the usual march-in of the bridal couple into the ballroom or restaurant, it will be a medley of songs sung by either one of the couple or helpers during the march-in. Then the meal will proceed.

As usual, in the middle of the meal, there will be time for speeches and games. The bridal couple will then dance in, a medley of three or four dances, of latin and ballroom, until they reach the stage or platform. Champagne popping will come next, then speeches, thank yous and dedication to our parents. After that the floor is open for dancing.

This is the kind of wedding I like – with fun, music and laughter, not just a mere ballroom and photo-taking session. Having said that, I always profess that a wedding is but one day, a marriage is a lifetime. Yes, it is one thing to make that one special day memorable and unforgettable, but the true meaning of marriage is not in the party or ceremony, but how the couple live together after that.

In other words, marriage is not the end of a relationship. It is a beginning of commitment, of a new phase in the couple’s life, that they are living together as one. And that is why getting married is so wonderful – because both are willing to commit to each other and adapt and care for another person for the rest of their lives. It is only a pity not many are willing to make that kind of commitment, and those who are willing are already committed. Oh well….

How Much To Give For Weddings?

I received this from my friend K. Pretty informative! But it seems like I have "over-given" on some occasions though!

Wedding Of A Superior

It was a good wedding last night. It was the first time I attended the wedding reception of my superior. I have attended colleagues' (ex-colleague's) weddings, but so far in all the companies I have worked in, most of my superiors were already married. Thus this was the first time I was attending an immediate superior's wedding reception.

The reception was not held at any hotels or restaurants, but at the top of a club. It is a nice ballroom, and since the bride is a dancer, the march-in was accompanied by four ballerinas dancing in. Nice and really cool!

The food was good too. It is a normal eight to nine-course dinner, as typical of a wedding banquet. Every wedding I attended, it is always a beautiful ceremony. It is the start of the journey of the rest of their lives. A marriage is not the end of freedom, it is the beginning of a beautiful journey. It is not the dinner, or a mere party, or "showing off" of the dress or gowns, or ragging, but the promise of a commitment of everlasting love and a bright future.

I have not felt like this for quite some time, but at the wedding last night, I suddenly yearn for my turn. I suddenly wonder when will it be my turn - to be joined in matrimony to someone who will venture with me in this beautiful and wonderful journey of life and make each other's lives very special. I really wish it can come soon!

Snippets From My Best Friend's Wedding

I wanted to share these photos a long time ago, but then I know my best friend is not one to showcase her face to everyone, which is why I refrained from posting these. Then I realize since memories of her wedding is still so ingrained in my brain, what better way than to keep the memories alive online in case I turn senile one day?

So I decided to upload all my wonderful memories up here. Out of respect to the bridal couple, I cropped the pictures so their (and their families and friends’) faces would not be seen. As one can see, I was having a rather bad hair day that day, but then again, the focus was not on me but her! So who cares what I looked like?

Helping to usher the guests outside the banquet hall

With the bride (slinging arms with the bride)

Group photo at the table (the groom was just behind me!)

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My Best Friend's Wedding

Literally. And it was so beautiful that I cried! I have not cried for a very long time, even at my cousins’ weddings, but I really cried yesterday after the touching speech the groom made. It was nothing out of the ordinary, not some sappy love poem or great romantic “promising” speech. Yet, the ordinariness of the speech simply makes it less ordinary, especially since he was so filled with love for her when he said that.

And that is why I cried, because true love need not be hot passion, or romantic speeches. If you truly love a person, even an ordinary thank you speech can be touching, when it is so filled with tenderness and gentleness. Now I truly understand why she chose him. And I really feel so happy for her!

The banquet started off with cocktails (as usual). I arrived pretty early. Guests started streaming in one by one, batch by batch. I was feeling kind of left out, because how many people really attend a wedding by oneself nowadays? Most come as couples or families. In any case, I helped out with the ushering, talked to her sisters (who looked so different!) and looked through her wedding photos.

Gosh, she makes a really pretty bride. Okay, all brides are beautiful, but when I saw her wedding photos, I really took a double take. Is she someone I have known and am close to for more than a decade? I have never seen her look like that before, not even in formal dinners! She has always been pretty, but she looks stunningly ravishing last night.

When guests started to go into the ballroom for the dinner, montages of her and her husband’s childhood were displayed. And she must choose a photo with me inside! Which is nothing wrong, except why must she choose that photo of all photos? The one where we were clowning around in school, making monkey faces, and me with my glasses and messy ponytail standing next to her. I never looked geekier at that moment!

There were only two of us from school. I would kind of expect she would invite more people, but it seems her husband has more people to invite, probably due to the nature of his work. The rest are their relatives, colleagues and parents’ friends. My friend and I were put at a table together with her dad’s friends, so we were the only young people at a table of senior citizens. The friend who attended had also recently married, but his wife is overseas so he came alone. Plus, he needed to go earlier, so halfway through the dinner, I was all alone. I just spent the time eating, listening to the “sagely” advise of the senior citizens, and enjoying the show at the same time.

Before dinner was served, the bride and groom had to march in. The groom came in with his military uniform. The bride was resplendent in a tube dress with long frills and train. Before they started marching in, military people in their uniforms and swords came in and had a nice display of swords in the air, awaiting the bridal couple. When they started marching in, the compere told the bride to sing the groom his favourite song in front of everyone, and she managed the first two lines and stumbled.

Then at the next stage before they reached the stage, they were asked to kiss to the audience’s applause. So they kissed for five minutes! Later they reached the stage and cut the cake. No champagne though. Dinner started after that with the tune of jazz music. The food was not too bad, and wine was served, so I had a glass of red wine.

Halfway through the dinner, the bridal couple went out to change. She came in again with a silver back-revealing gown, almost the kind of design I like for my own wedding dress! The family members had to go up to toast to everyone. Then the groom made his very touching speech which got me crying. And the bride made her light-hearted speech in Mandarin, which got people laughing!

The couple then went round to take photos with every table. Poor thing, they did not seem to have eaten anything throughout the dinner! By the time the photo-taking was wrapped up, dessert was almost done and guests were streaming out, so they had to go out and see the guests off. I had a chance to talk to her grandmother, who still remembers me somewhat. I did not have the chance to talk to the bride and groom though except to shake hands and say my congratulations, but I did not wish to hold them up as they would have many others wishing to talk to them.

At the end of it all, I feel so happy, so excited. But at the same time, I felt as if part of me is gone as she begins her journey to couplehood, with different kinds of issues than singlehood. No longer will we hang out just eating and shopping. No longer will we talk on the phone late at night. She has to live her life for someone else now, and no longer for herself. Things have truly changed indeed.

Missing A Groom :-p

That day, at my cousin's wedding reception, I really like the gown she has on. It is a tube dress, A-line skirt, plain and simple design with not much frills and laces. It flatters her figure, at the same time does not seem too heavy or overflowing. Just the kind of gown design I like. I was commenting that her gown is really nice, when my mum, always trying to take the opportunity, told her, in front of me, that she also likes the gown, and hopes to see me in one like that soon. Hmmmm......

In one of my earlier posts, I did mention that I have an idea of how my own wedding will be like. I guess it was because of this that in the end I never did marry someone, because he had his own idea too, and needless to say, our ideas were very different from each other's. I have an idea of the schedule for the day, which church and which venue for the reception. I even have a theme, the kind of dress I like, the decorations involved. All I need now is a groom. :-p

But a dream is just a dream, ideals are just ideals. We may have all the ideals, but in the end, the reality is that things may not turn out the way we envision. At the end of the day, I want a marriage, for life, not just a wedding, for a day.

So, not to dash my mum's hopes and wishes, even though no matter how much I hope to, I do not think I will be getting hitched any time soon. As it is, after the couple of false starts, my social life has gone a real low, with no one of real potential in sight.

Another Beautiful Wedding

The wedding today is an intimate and cosy affair, with just the couple's family, relatives and close friends. Despite that, there are at least thirty tables. The solemnisation was held at one of the function rooms, and when the couple exchanged their vows and promises, both were absolutely glowing with happiness and radiance! So sweet!

Anyway, I have taken some pictures, not as many as I hope as for some reason, my camera was acting up today. Here is a preview of the dress which I wore.

Front view

Back view

I managed to take a picture of the wedding car - a Volvo, especially the decoration on the front - two dolls of Nobita and his girlfriend (I cannot remember what is her name in Japanese), both of the Doraemon comics!

The car decoration

And one of me, in my more narcissistic moment, with the dress, during the cocktail session before the lunch reception.

Lunch was good. The food is nice, but from the venue, I suppose the food, ambience and everything else should be pretty up to standard, otherwise it is no use paying that kind of amount. The tea ceremony was next, back at the room where the solemnisation took place.

When the wedding couple went on stage to pop the champagne, there was a very nice bubble effect, ie the bubbles flew up when they were pouring the champagne. So artistic and beautiful, that I could not resist taking a picture, and luckily my camera was working well at that moment! What a pity I was not able to snap the couple marching in though!

Wedding Reflections Of Thine Relation

I was planning to wear the Kate dress for tomorrow's event, but I just realised it is not feasible anymore. Firstly, I am not able to trim it on time. Secondly, it is too formal for day wear, as the wedding will be a solemnisation in the morning, lunch reception at noon, followed by tea ceremony after that, all at the same venue.

So it will be a rather simple but classy wedding. Thus, I will be wearing the dress which my mum got for me a couple of months back, coupled with a matching pashmina. That dress is at least more suitable for lunch receptions.

This cousin is a government scholar who went to one of the top notch American Ivy League colleges, then came back and worked in a major government body. She met her husband while in college. He is an Indonesian Chinese and currently working in a huge multinational company in Hong Kong. So she took no-pay leave to go with him.

Apparently, they just touched down yesterday, leaving today for a break, then getting married tomorrow, and flying back to Hong Kong on Sunday as he has to report back to work on Monday. I salute them for their energy. Imagine a wedding is already going to take up so much energy, yet they are able to rush everything without a break!

Incidentally, they have been together for eight years now. I always envy those who can stay together, despite the strains of work, starting a career, the changes in each other. I guess if one is really committed, they will want things to work no matter what!