A cousin is getting married this Sunday, and her wedding will be at St Regis. But then again, what else can I expect? This is the part of the family that is more well-established, so she stays in one of the high-class districts, and holds a Masters from Harvard under a scholarship from a big investment company, and her brother recently came in the news for being a top graduate from Oxford in law. So it is no surprise her wedding will be well-hyped and high-class.
I must say I am looking forward to it. Okay, I am one who looks forward to whatever weddings, but after a while, the weddings I have attended here are simply too similar and run-of-the-mill. It is always the banquet in a hotel, the march-in, the second march-in, the speech (which no one really listens), the toasting (which no one participates) and the photo-taking.
The weddings I have attended overseas (namely Sydney and Malta) are no less grand, but yet I love them, simply because they are classy and elegant. At least the environment, venue and people make the wedding ceremony classy, because no one would come in T-shirt and jeans.
Here, there are people who attend wedding dinners with jeans and T-shirt, and they deem that as formal. Hello?! How can any form of jeans or T-shirt be deemed formal enough for a wedding dinner, a banquet? I always cringe whenever I see people going for wedding banquets in jeans and T-shirt, be it polo Tee or long-sleeve Tees!
And the modus operandi leaves much to be desired. Okay, people here are generally more practical, so they give money in the form of red packets to the bride and groom whenever they attend a wedding dinner. I think it is also the fact that after a while, people are not sure what to give anymore, and all other forms of gifts may be tacky and useless.
Besides, after spending so much on a wedding ceremony, the bride and groom do welcome cash gifts. However, I do not agree with what some people write on their invitation cards : "Cash gifts are preferred", or "If you must give a gift, we prefer gifts in the form of cash". Are people so thick-skinned nowadays that they actually ask for cash from their guests?
Personally, I find cash gifts rather tacky. I welcome things like cards, and handwritten notes, or congratulatory messages if I ever get married. These things mean more to me than just money, because these things can be kept, stored and read over and over again.
Besides, if I am to give a wedding reception, I would have enough to treat my beloved guests in the first place, so they can partake in a bit of the happiness and joy in what should have been the best day of my life, the first day of the rest of my life.
I do not believe in how some people view marriages - pay half of the banquet, then expect to use the red packets to pay for the remaining. It is like asking your guests to pay for your own wedding, when it should be your own wedding to treat your own guests.
Of course the red packets do come in useful, but having a wedding and guest list should not be because the bride and groom expect to earn a lot in red packets so invite just about anyone just to get the money to pay for the banquet!
The guests themselves should not behave that badly too. There are people who just want a free meal, and give very nominal amount. If we are to attend a wedding banquet, and if we are to give cash gifts, the least we can do is to give an appropriate amount, say like one to two hundred dollars, depending on how close we are to the couple.
But I have heard of brides and grooms who told me they actually receive five dollars from someone, or ten dollars! The worst kinds are those who give more or decide to attend based on the location, and whether there are any sharks fin or abalone on the menu.
So does that mean if the venue is at, say, Concorde Hotel, or the menu has no shark's fin or abalone, the bride and groom do not deserve to be treated as well as say, a Ritz-Carlton wedding with lots of shark's fin and abalone?
The thing is if a couple decides to hold a wedding, it is their business which location, what food to serve, whether it is sit-down or buffet style, or who to invite. If they care enough to invite you, then one should feel honoured instead of grumbling so much. If it really bothers them so much, then they can choose not to attend!
Hence if and when I ever get married, it is my (our) choice how I (we) want my (our) own wedding to be, where the venue is, what the menu is, what the theme is like. I will never ever state that I prefer cash gifts on the wedding invitation. Rather, I will let my own guests give me whatever they desire, as long as it is from the heart. It is the thought that counts after all.
However, knowing most people, they will still give cash gifts. So that is not to say I will shun any form of cash gifts, because I do understand that giving red packets is the most practical thing to do for many people. And having any extra cash does help.
But I will never have the mentality that giving a wedding reception means getting cash from the guests in order to pay for the wedding. If I am to give a big reception, it means I (we) would have enough to cover in the first place.
One thing I will state on the invitation card though, is dress code. I abhor the idea of people dressing in jeans and T-shirts, hence I will definitely state the kind of dress code I want for my own wedding. And punctuality. I will state, "Doors will be locked at ____ sharp, so utmost punctuality is greatly appreciated."
And also I will ask whoever is the Master of Ceremonies to state for the guests to put all the phones and beeping devices to silent mode, and appreciate silence when the couple or parents are making the speeches.
Afterall, what I abhor more than casual dress code is the non-punctuality and rudeness of the guests. And to me, going to a wedding late, dressed casually, letting their beeping devices ring off and talking loudly while someone is making a speech, are all rudeness to me.
I must say I am looking forward to it. Okay, I am one who looks forward to whatever weddings, but after a while, the weddings I have attended here are simply too similar and run-of-the-mill. It is always the banquet in a hotel, the march-in, the second march-in, the speech (which no one really listens), the toasting (which no one participates) and the photo-taking.
The weddings I have attended overseas (namely Sydney and Malta) are no less grand, but yet I love them, simply because they are classy and elegant. At least the environment, venue and people make the wedding ceremony classy, because no one would come in T-shirt and jeans.
Here, there are people who attend wedding dinners with jeans and T-shirt, and they deem that as formal. Hello?! How can any form of jeans or T-shirt be deemed formal enough for a wedding dinner, a banquet? I always cringe whenever I see people going for wedding banquets in jeans and T-shirt, be it polo Tee or long-sleeve Tees!
And the modus operandi leaves much to be desired. Okay, people here are generally more practical, so they give money in the form of red packets to the bride and groom whenever they attend a wedding dinner. I think it is also the fact that after a while, people are not sure what to give anymore, and all other forms of gifts may be tacky and useless.
Besides, after spending so much on a wedding ceremony, the bride and groom do welcome cash gifts. However, I do not agree with what some people write on their invitation cards : "Cash gifts are preferred", or "If you must give a gift, we prefer gifts in the form of cash". Are people so thick-skinned nowadays that they actually ask for cash from their guests?
Personally, I find cash gifts rather tacky. I welcome things like cards, and handwritten notes, or congratulatory messages if I ever get married. These things mean more to me than just money, because these things can be kept, stored and read over and over again.
Besides, if I am to give a wedding reception, I would have enough to treat my beloved guests in the first place, so they can partake in a bit of the happiness and joy in what should have been the best day of my life, the first day of the rest of my life.
I do not believe in how some people view marriages - pay half of the banquet, then expect to use the red packets to pay for the remaining. It is like asking your guests to pay for your own wedding, when it should be your own wedding to treat your own guests.
Of course the red packets do come in useful, but having a wedding and guest list should not be because the bride and groom expect to earn a lot in red packets so invite just about anyone just to get the money to pay for the banquet!
The guests themselves should not behave that badly too. There are people who just want a free meal, and give very nominal amount. If we are to attend a wedding banquet, and if we are to give cash gifts, the least we can do is to give an appropriate amount, say like one to two hundred dollars, depending on how close we are to the couple.
But I have heard of brides and grooms who told me they actually receive five dollars from someone, or ten dollars! The worst kinds are those who give more or decide to attend based on the location, and whether there are any sharks fin or abalone on the menu.
So does that mean if the venue is at, say, Concorde Hotel, or the menu has no shark's fin or abalone, the bride and groom do not deserve to be treated as well as say, a Ritz-Carlton wedding with lots of shark's fin and abalone?
The thing is if a couple decides to hold a wedding, it is their business which location, what food to serve, whether it is sit-down or buffet style, or who to invite. If they care enough to invite you, then one should feel honoured instead of grumbling so much. If it really bothers them so much, then they can choose not to attend!
Hence if and when I ever get married, it is my (our) choice how I (we) want my (our) own wedding to be, where the venue is, what the menu is, what the theme is like. I will never ever state that I prefer cash gifts on the wedding invitation. Rather, I will let my own guests give me whatever they desire, as long as it is from the heart. It is the thought that counts after all.
However, knowing most people, they will still give cash gifts. So that is not to say I will shun any form of cash gifts, because I do understand that giving red packets is the most practical thing to do for many people. And having any extra cash does help.
But I will never have the mentality that giving a wedding reception means getting cash from the guests in order to pay for the wedding. If I am to give a big reception, it means I (we) would have enough to cover in the first place.
One thing I will state on the invitation card though, is dress code. I abhor the idea of people dressing in jeans and T-shirts, hence I will definitely state the kind of dress code I want for my own wedding. And punctuality. I will state, "Doors will be locked at ____ sharp, so utmost punctuality is greatly appreciated."
And also I will ask whoever is the Master of Ceremonies to state for the guests to put all the phones and beeping devices to silent mode, and appreciate silence when the couple or parents are making the speeches.
Afterall, what I abhor more than casual dress code is the non-punctuality and rudeness of the guests. And to me, going to a wedding late, dressed casually, letting their beeping devices ring off and talking loudly while someone is making a speech, are all rudeness to me.
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