Lilypie

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Wedding Vs Marriage

For the past five years, I have attended quite a number of weddings, be they relatives or friends. I have attended weddings held here in church or banquets in ballrooms (most common), or a solemnisation followed by a reception, wedding dinners and wedding lunches. I have also attended weddings overseas.

The most memorable one is still my cousin's wedding in Australia. It is simple, yet classy, sophisticated and elegant. Because it is a simple ceremony without all the pomp, yet at the same time classy enough with the reception at a venue facing the Sydney harbour, it stuck in my mind as something different. I always tell myself if I ever get married, I will want my wedding to be just like that - simple but classy, instead of the usual Chinese banquet where innocent sharks have to die just to satisfy the guests.

The concept of a wedding differs from individual to individual. To some, because it is a once-in-a-lifetime affair and girls have dreamt of being a fairytale princess since young, so the only time they can be a fairytale princess is during their own weddings where they dress up as brides.

To others, they do not wish to have a fuss and just have a simple legalization without telling anyone so no one would ever know they got married until they declare.

But weddings, be they big do or a small do, are only but one day. Of course I can understand that because a wedding is just that one day, many would want that day running as smoothly and as perfectly as possible. After all, it is just that one day in a person's life that he or she can be the centre of all attention.

How many of us actually remember the weddings we attended? I know I can barely remember most, save for the one in Sydney. Somehow that one is etched in my mind even though it has been eight years. Maybe because this one impressed me enough to make me yearn to model after it.

But after the wedding, what then? Is it the end? What many people fail to realise is that after all the stress and frustration of preparing a wedding and getting married, it is the life after that that truly matters.

I always thought the wedding day is the first day of the rest of my life. A marriage is for a lifetime, not the degradation which many people view as nowadays. If the couple cannot be committed to make it work and cower at the sign of any problems, then do not spend the time and money getting married for show.

A wedding is between two people, but a marriage involves other parties, like parents, in-laws, both sets of families and children. No doubt when a couple get married, they are forming a new family on their own. Their priorities should be with each other and no longer their parents. But parents and families should not be totally out of the picture as well.

Hence, is it better to have a big wedding but after that have no idea that it is a marriage, or a small wedding yet knowing how to handle a marriage after that? Each of us will have our own preferences.

For me, I want a marriage for life, not just a wedding for a day.

3 comments:

Richard said...

JP said: For me, I want a marriage for life, not just a wedding for a day.

A good sentiment. I wish more people had that desire.

Of course, I still remember my wedding. It was fairly simple - I refused to have a lot of traditional / customary routines. As well, it was a dry reception afterwards (except enough champagne for one toast). I was told a dry reception would never fly, but of all the weddings I've attended - mine was the best; we had food, we had music, we had dancing, and we had no one drunk.

juphelia said...

Wow.. that must really have been a beautiful wedding. I would have loved to attend something like this as it would be more memorable than the normal run-of-the-mill ceremony.

Richard said...

I thought it was.

Sorry, but I am not likely to be having another one.

You can always make yours memorable - in fact, I think that is the one that matters most.

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