I am feeling so stressed now! I have one more major project to submit this week before the semester is finally done and I can focus on my examinations, but for some reason I have no idea what to do and how to start the project at all. I am already not doing well this semester as compared to the last, hence I really need to be able to score a decent grade in this project.
To kill stress, I decided to look through again the booklet I got from the recent Engaged Encounter weekend. As I have mentioned, what I am really happy about is that both of us are so in sync with each other, despite answering the discussion questions separately. At least this proves that we are just right for each other.
The Engaged Encounter weekend also clears any doubts about the relationship. I must admit that after what I have been through, I get a tad more cynical about men and relationships in general. At the back of my mind, there is still a voice telling me why would he be different from all the other jerks I have come across? Men are all the same essentially. How different can they function?
From my experience and observations, I kind of concluded that men :
1. Care only about themselves. They make the decision and expect the woman to go along, no questions asked, be it in where to eat, what movie to watch, where to go, what to do. The woman cannot protest.
2. Only believe in themselves and always think a woman's opinion will never be good. In other words, even if the man is wrong, he still thinks he is right and the woman cannot speak her mind or disagree with him.
3. Are mummy's boys. Their mother takes first priority (which is good) but they expect the woman they are with to listen to their mothers too. In other words, between the girlfriend and the mother, the man chooses to listen to the mother and do what the mother does and expect the girlfriend to do the same thing without question.
But to me, I always thought in a relationship or marriage, you put each other first. If the man is so stuck on his mum, he may as well not leave her side and find someone and just spend the rest of his life with his mother. There is a difference between showing respect and filial piety and listening to the mother for every little thing.
4. Are inconsiderate and rude creatures. They just grab the remote and channel surf even when the woman is in the middle of watching the television. Yet when the man reaches his favorite channel, he will continue watching it despite the woman wanting to watch another show. He plays games and throws a tantrum when he loses and expects the woman to serve him food while he is playing.
5. Are chavinistic. They expect the women to serve them, do the housework, cook and clean, takes care of the baby while they just laze around without lifting a finger. Yes they had a tired day, but have they ever considered the woman also had a tired day?
6. Are irresponsible cowards. They can say they like you, want to be with you, but in the end can disappear without a trace without caring for how the woman feels. Why can men just not talk things through and reach a consensus instead of leaving the woman hanging? Why do they think running away resolves everything and still put the blame on the woman for not talking through things with him when the woman herself had no idea why the man disappeared in the first place?
As can be seen, I have developed a negative image of men. Hence when I started this relationship, I did not put in my all. When I put in my all in previous relationships, I got badly hurt, so much so that I ever underwent depression, became suicidal and had to seek counselling.
Even though this may not seem fair to the guy in question, I wanted to observe him. I wanted to see if he is any different from the other guys I have met. So when problems started, especially with his parents, I wanted so much to call it quits a few times.
But something told me to hang on to him. Something told me he is the one, despite the number of times I try to convince myself that he is not the one, that I deserve better. Yet upon observation, despite all his irritating ways and quirks, he is a much better man than the others I have come across.
He cares more for me, for instance. He puts up with my quirks and tantrums. He puts my family first and treats my dog as his most precious. He supports and follows me in the activities I want to do. He even watches chick flicks and read chick lit!
He never lets me feel bad or insulted in front of his parents despite their tirade on how a proper woman should behave, ie she must be submissive, demure, endearing, put the guy and his family first, should not be better than the man, should not be too career-minded, should cook and clean. Other men will tell me to just do what his parents say, but not him. He tells his parents he likes me the way I am and he is not about to change me just because I do not fit into their mould of the type they like.
Despite all these, I still had doubts. It has been very hard to convince me to trust another man completely again. But at the Engaged Encounter, all my doubts are cleared. It is as if this couples retreat reaffirm that there is no one else but him. I can never foresee being with anyone else.
And that is the most important lesson I learnt from the whole weekend. Now after looking through the booklet and the certificate, I have been reaffirmed again that there is no one else for me but him.
Incidentally, the certificate which we got from the weekend as proof of our attendance and participation, he wanted it laminated and preserved. When I asked him why, he said it is such an important piece of paper, of course have to take care of it properly. When I remarked that it is not even a marriage certificate, he said if it is the marriage certificate, it will not just be laminated; it will be framed up to last a lifetime.
Now do I need anymore convincing?
To kill stress, I decided to look through again the booklet I got from the recent Engaged Encounter weekend. As I have mentioned, what I am really happy about is that both of us are so in sync with each other, despite answering the discussion questions separately. At least this proves that we are just right for each other.
The Engaged Encounter weekend also clears any doubts about the relationship. I must admit that after what I have been through, I get a tad more cynical about men and relationships in general. At the back of my mind, there is still a voice telling me why would he be different from all the other jerks I have come across? Men are all the same essentially. How different can they function?
From my experience and observations, I kind of concluded that men :
1. Care only about themselves. They make the decision and expect the woman to go along, no questions asked, be it in where to eat, what movie to watch, where to go, what to do. The woman cannot protest.
2. Only believe in themselves and always think a woman's opinion will never be good. In other words, even if the man is wrong, he still thinks he is right and the woman cannot speak her mind or disagree with him.
3. Are mummy's boys. Their mother takes first priority (which is good) but they expect the woman they are with to listen to their mothers too. In other words, between the girlfriend and the mother, the man chooses to listen to the mother and do what the mother does and expect the girlfriend to do the same thing without question.
But to me, I always thought in a relationship or marriage, you put each other first. If the man is so stuck on his mum, he may as well not leave her side and find someone and just spend the rest of his life with his mother. There is a difference between showing respect and filial piety and listening to the mother for every little thing.
4. Are inconsiderate and rude creatures. They just grab the remote and channel surf even when the woman is in the middle of watching the television. Yet when the man reaches his favorite channel, he will continue watching it despite the woman wanting to watch another show. He plays games and throws a tantrum when he loses and expects the woman to serve him food while he is playing.
5. Are chavinistic. They expect the women to serve them, do the housework, cook and clean, takes care of the baby while they just laze around without lifting a finger. Yes they had a tired day, but have they ever considered the woman also had a tired day?
6. Are irresponsible cowards. They can say they like you, want to be with you, but in the end can disappear without a trace without caring for how the woman feels. Why can men just not talk things through and reach a consensus instead of leaving the woman hanging? Why do they think running away resolves everything and still put the blame on the woman for not talking through things with him when the woman herself had no idea why the man disappeared in the first place?
As can be seen, I have developed a negative image of men. Hence when I started this relationship, I did not put in my all. When I put in my all in previous relationships, I got badly hurt, so much so that I ever underwent depression, became suicidal and had to seek counselling.
Even though this may not seem fair to the guy in question, I wanted to observe him. I wanted to see if he is any different from the other guys I have met. So when problems started, especially with his parents, I wanted so much to call it quits a few times.
But something told me to hang on to him. Something told me he is the one, despite the number of times I try to convince myself that he is not the one, that I deserve better. Yet upon observation, despite all his irritating ways and quirks, he is a much better man than the others I have come across.
He cares more for me, for instance. He puts up with my quirks and tantrums. He puts my family first and treats my dog as his most precious. He supports and follows me in the activities I want to do. He even watches chick flicks and read chick lit!
He never lets me feel bad or insulted in front of his parents despite their tirade on how a proper woman should behave, ie she must be submissive, demure, endearing, put the guy and his family first, should not be better than the man, should not be too career-minded, should cook and clean. Other men will tell me to just do what his parents say, but not him. He tells his parents he likes me the way I am and he is not about to change me just because I do not fit into their mould of the type they like.
Despite all these, I still had doubts. It has been very hard to convince me to trust another man completely again. But at the Engaged Encounter, all my doubts are cleared. It is as if this couples retreat reaffirm that there is no one else but him. I can never foresee being with anyone else.
And that is the most important lesson I learnt from the whole weekend. Now after looking through the booklet and the certificate, I have been reaffirmed again that there is no one else for me but him.
Incidentally, the certificate which we got from the weekend as proof of our attendance and participation, he wanted it laminated and preserved. When I asked him why, he said it is such an important piece of paper, of course have to take care of it properly. When I remarked that it is not even a marriage certificate, he said if it is the marriage certificate, it will not just be laminated; it will be framed up to last a lifetime.
Now do I need anymore convincing?
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