The new year put me in a different perspective. Or maybe it is to do with old age. A woman on the cusp of thirty can do amazing things, things which she never ever imagine herself ever doing. I never declared my feelings for a guy before, at least not to his face.
Yet, I sent out an email to a certain person, telling him how much I miss him and the good times we had together. Believe it or not, this is the first time I actually sent that kind of email to a guy. I could choose to keep it in me, but I know I will never let it go if I did not do this, so I sent it out and leave the rest to fate and God.
And he replied! Well, we are still on talking terms at least. Now I feel so relieved, it is like I have been uplifted. So I can finally let go and move on instead of holding back and fretting over what could have happened.
Come to think of it, feelings are really strange, is it not? I was with someone for two years, yet never developed that kind of feelings, and even after I decided to break up, I never held back or looked back.
Even after the end of a six-year relationship, I never looked back. True, I pined for him, missed him, and hoped he would initiate a reconciliation countless times, but I never did anything to actually indicate I wanted him back.
I was dating a guy for three months, and he was almost all I am looking for, yet even when we decided to stop seeing each other, it was just a handshake and that was it, no feelings of pining or lingering.
So how come I felt so strongly about someone whom I only saw for like six weeks? The fact that I sent that email to him indicates how much he meant to me, and I could only find peace after I told him how I felt.
I have no answer to that. Is it divine intervention, telling me that there is still hope? But I am not about to get my hopes high only to have them smashed again. Anyway, anything can happen in the future, so I believe if it is meant to be, it is meant to be, otherwise something better is coming.
For now, I can finally look forward to a wonderful New Year ahead! :-)
Yet, I sent out an email to a certain person, telling him how much I miss him and the good times we had together. Believe it or not, this is the first time I actually sent that kind of email to a guy. I could choose to keep it in me, but I know I will never let it go if I did not do this, so I sent it out and leave the rest to fate and God.
And he replied! Well, we are still on talking terms at least. Now I feel so relieved, it is like I have been uplifted. So I can finally let go and move on instead of holding back and fretting over what could have happened.
Come to think of it, feelings are really strange, is it not? I was with someone for two years, yet never developed that kind of feelings, and even after I decided to break up, I never held back or looked back.
Even after the end of a six-year relationship, I never looked back. True, I pined for him, missed him, and hoped he would initiate a reconciliation countless times, but I never did anything to actually indicate I wanted him back.
I was dating a guy for three months, and he was almost all I am looking for, yet even when we decided to stop seeing each other, it was just a handshake and that was it, no feelings of pining or lingering.
So how come I felt so strongly about someone whom I only saw for like six weeks? The fact that I sent that email to him indicates how much he meant to me, and I could only find peace after I told him how I felt.
I have no answer to that. Is it divine intervention, telling me that there is still hope? But I am not about to get my hopes high only to have them smashed again. Anyway, anything can happen in the future, so I believe if it is meant to be, it is meant to be, otherwise something better is coming.
For now, I can finally look forward to a wonderful New Year ahead! :-)
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