I am still in a reflective mood, which is why I started thinking of the people in my life. One cannot choose one's parents and family members, but one can choose one's friends and life partner.
Many a time when I was growing up, I wished I could have other kinds of parents instead, but for the past couple of years or so, I have begun to truly appreciate my parents and family members because they have stood by me and helped me out despite my mistakes.
In this relatively short life I have, with an even shorter religious journey, I am grateful for certain people whom I have come across. Some have become a part of my life, some I have lost contact with, some I do still keep in touch with but they have become mere acquaintances.
Not everyone has been good though, which is why in life, one has to take the good and the bad, otherwise life is just so boring with no excitement. Although of course I wish for more good times and a simpler life, instead of dealing with stupid idiots of late.
Where shall I begin? I am never a social butterfly, even now. I am more a wallflower. I find it hard to open up to people whom I do not know in person. Somehow I seem to be more chatty online than actual face to face. Which is why I have very few close friends, instead of many friends.
But then there are people whom one can click with from the beginning, and there are people whom one has totally no chemistry with. With this I mean for both genders, because those whom one can get along with normally become firm friends and those whom we have no chemistry with we do not even keep in further contact.
I do not have that many friends in primary school. The only ones I still know from primary school are ironically those whom I know from outside and not from my own school. We still keep in contact, with the occasional messages and emails.
They are three guys, Z (the brother of my senior), B (a guy I met in a holiday camp) and Y (my godbrother). I met Z through his sister as we stay near each other (even now - just down the street at the other side of the train station) and he is one guy I have known for the longest time - twenty years in fact.
He used to study in the boys' school opposite my school, so we would meet up after school sometimes to study together, exchange papers and tutor each other. He would guide me in Chinese, Mathematics and Science and I would guide him in English and Literature. My classmates used to think we were a couple!
B's mother and my mum used to work in the same company, so we always met each other in the same holiday camp, and since we are both the same age, we always ended up in the same team. Of course we exchanged numbers and kept in contact, as even though we went to different schools, we would exchange papers and studied together sometimes.
Y is now somewhere in the States, one of the high powers of Wall Street, after graduating with a double degree in Engineering and Finance. I "adopted" him after a certain incident when he showed his really cute and innocent side!
Then in secondary school, I had a couple of close friends, both girls since I was from a convent. ML and P are best friends, even now. P just got married to her first boyfriend, whom she broke up with but later got back together after ten years and two more relationships.
I used to go to ML's place all the time and vice versa in lower secondary since we stayed just three bus stops away from each other. We were so close that we even showered together, being both girls! We also bought Teacher's Day gifts together, and her mother used to know me quite well.
P used to stay just down the street from me before she married. We have a common pen-pal from England, whom we met up with when he came by a few years back.
Upper secondary, I met L from a holiday computer enrichment class. He happened to study in the boys school opposite my school, and is one year my junior. We lunched together during the five-day class, and took the same bus back together since we happened to be staying around the same area.
The following week, he called me and we chatted for about three hours. Then he asked me out for a computer exhibition and brought a friend along. A few days later, he asked me out to play badminton, but since he was a school player, needless to say my skills were hardly on par with his.
After that, we did not keep in contact save for the Christmas cards we sent each other. A year later, on my birthday, he called me to wish me a happy birthday, and sent me a Birthday card. I was rather surprised to hear from him that time.
However, since then, we never kept in touch anymore, although I still see him sometimes near my place, but he does not seem to recognise me anymore. In any case, I think he is now married.
Post-secondary, I met my best friend. Coincidentally, she was the classmate of B when they were in secondary school. Before I entered the school, he called me and told me to look out for his classmate, and she was the first person I met during orientation.
Since then, we began a long history of close friendship and each other's confidantes all the way until now. I went to her house often, and her parents, grandmother, sisters, even her maternal grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins and friends know me!
She is the only friend I have (not including guys I have had relationships with, because when I was with the guys, obviously I would get to know his family members, relatives and friends) that I know to such an extent!
And of course, her ex, who was more in her class than mine. We used to go out together quite often, she and him, my second ex and I. The four of us would go for movies, or meals, or generally just go to her place to hang out and relax. We would also go to his (her ex) place whenever there was any festive occasion. Those were really happy and carefree times.
Post-secondary, I met my first ex too. We were involved in some activities together, which was why we started hanging out more often in the first place, even though we were in different classes.
Falling in love then was a wonderful feeling. I was young and naive, and I was at the stage of my life where I was rebellious and went against my parents all the time. Come a guy who was witty and interesting, and who showed interest in me and well, I lost my head and my heart.
My best friend warned me against him, but I chose to rule by my heart, only to have it broken very badly. Yet she was the one who stood by me after that, ensured I was alright, brought me out together with her classmates, kept me happy, brought me to the arcade to hit my frustrations out, even bringing me to watch movies with her family members! My ex just went on with another girl shortly after, and never gave a hoot as to whether I was alright!
Despite that, we had good times. We went kite-flying at the then Marina South, had a long walk and saw the sunset on the beach. He would get his dad to pick me up at my home in the mornings and we would go for breakfast together before school started.
A year later, he called me and asked for a reconciliation, as his girlfriend (ex) just left him. He asked me to the beach, and he would take me for a stroll along the waterfront, where we would sit on the breakwater moon gazing.
I was so mad that I just hung up the phone. The day of his twenty-first birthday, I called him to wish him a happy birthday, and that was another mistake, as when he found out I was going into teaching, he was full of criticisms and sarcasms, as if nothing I embarked on could ever succeed. I was so seething with rage that I totally cut off all contact since then.
Tertiary, and I met my second ex. I met a few other close friends in law school, like the guy CK (the top student of my batch), whose best friend is a female called S1, another one of my close friends whom we still keep in contact up to now.
Then a guy J, the leader of our tutorial group. S2, another lady whom I still contact occasionally. CK is now in the States, having license to practice in Singapore, England and now the States as well. J is now a lecturer.
S1 used to be the Legal Counsel for Creative Technologies, but ever since getting married in late 2005 (whose wedding I attended together with S2), she has been having a semi-socialite life. S2 is still working in a small law firm, and is not about to change.
S1 gave me my first makeup kit, then she and my best friend came by to my place and gave me a crash course on makeup and grooming. Then they brought me shopping and taught me how to be more fashion-savvy and dress according to my figure and skin colour.
And of course, friends of my second ex, like BI, who used to work at the Ministry of Law and whom we used to visit sometimes when he was working overtime and alone in the office. And SR who is now married to a dietician and runs his own company, and who still messages me once in a while.
It was also at this time that I met MC. S1, S2 and a few other classmates and I were at the campus cafe. Seated at the table next to us were a group of guys. For some reason, two of them kept turning our way.
Initally, I thought it was because the food we got were appetising since we ordered lots of food as that day we just ended a tough tutorial session so wanted to have a mini-celebration.
Then when we stepped out of the cafe, one of the guys at the table came running up to us, tapped me on my shoulder, gave me a piece of paper, and said, "Sorry, my friend asked me to give you this" before running back.
On the slip of paper was the name (MC) and his pager number, with the words, "Pls don't disappoint me". Well, I had no idea what to make of that, and my friends were teasing me to no end. I was already attached then, and told my ex. Needless to say, he was not very happy about it.
Still, I could not control my curiosity and called (paged) the number. When that guy called, he said that I look a lot like a former girlfriend of his, and he would really like to get to know me. Since then, we would chat on and off on the phone.
Sometimes in the morning, he would meet me at my hostel and we would go for breakfast together. He gave me a gift on my birthday. I did not exactly reject his advances, but neither did I encourage him, as to me, he was just a friend. I wanted my ex to know him too but he (my ex) refused.
Even after I left the school, we would still keep in contact for another year or so, before finally losing touch with each other. Come to think of it, it had been almost ten years when he first asked his friend to give me that slip of paper with his number and I had no idea how he is now.
Friends I met in my teaching course include HP. She took almost all the same modules as me (except she took English Language whereas I took English Literature, but all the others are the same), so we became really close and would study and discuss tutorials and projects together.
The guy E, who used to kid with us (me and HP), and who declared he would never marry, but the last time I saw him in 2005, he had a ring on his finger. He used to stay behind my second ex, so we used to take the same transport together whenever I was going to his (my ex's) place.
There is also the guy R, whom I taught how to play the piano, and who always wanted to be my partner during music projects and keyboard examinations. Then the friends I know from the Catholic Student's Apostolate like PT, the President (whom I take as some sort of elder brother) and his wife A.
The Vice-President C1 and her husband H, our Publicity Officer RS and her husband JC, as well as a former member JL. I still keep in touch with them, and we went to RS and JC's wedding in June 2006.
And then RM, who is several years older than me, married with a wife and three kids, but chose to stay in the hostel because it was too far to travel from his home to campus. We used to visit each other in our respective rooms, and when I was ill once, he brought up some food for me. A real family man!
There is also SH and her husband HQ, who was the President and Business Manager of the Student Liaison Club for which I was Treasurer. They now have a one year old daughter. They got married in December 2005, but since I was away in Tasmania then, so did not attend their wedding.
Other friends I have met in tertiary via the internal email system and whom we still keep in touch are two guys, AD and V. AD used to share his poetry with me, and he gave me a booklet of poems he composed on his own during one of my birthdays! AD would also compose some songs and he would page me and sang his compositions into my pager's voicemail!
V was the one who introduced me to my third ex. We (V and I) used to chat a lot online, and he would confide all his ups and downs in me, asking for advise on his broken heart(s), and I would dump all my emotional baggage on him as well.
I have known both guys (AD and V) for a decade already. Now they are both attached, with V getting married next year. AD broke up with his girlfriend two years back but recently they got back together, with a much stronger relationship than before.
Then there is also RC, whom I knew from my music class, and whom I really enjoy intellectual conversations with. He is my age and from one of the more prestigious schools, so we used to discuss schoolwork as well. I have known him for about fifteen years now.
I remember once when he was still in the army, he was so bored that he called me to chat. Luckily I was at home. That day, we chatted for four hours! Another time he paged me, and left a voicemail asking if I wanted to chat. So I called him back and we chatted for another few hours!
Then when I broke up with my second ex, he took me out and spent the day with me, despite having a girlfriend (now his wife). I just attended his baby's first month celebration in October.
Actually after I broke up with my second ex, I really had lots of help, and for that I was eternally grateful. Besides RC, my best friend took me out to her cousin's twenty-first birthday party in a chalet, then we went to her place and stayed the night. She even took me to her colleague's housewarming party!
HP brought me out for a movie and meal, without her then-boyfriend, and we just spent the whole day together, both of us. V brought me out together with his friends, for a movie, meal and pool session.
I have the best memories with my second ex. He would go with me to my hostel on Monday mornings, then go to my hostel on Fridays and picked me up when I went home during the weekends. That time he did not drive, so he would take the long train ride with me.
Then when he started driving, he would pick me up from home and would drive me to church, or drive me back to my hostel. Every Valentine's Day, Christmas and Anniversary, he would never forget a gift and flowers and would bring me out to celebrate. He was there during my graduation and vice versa.
Despite all our quarrels and bitterness, the messy breakup and his temper, I did have a good time and felt quite blessed being with him throughout. I used to be bitter and focused on the negative things, but of all my exs, he was the one that really treated me the best.
Friends I have met in adulthood include K, whom I have known for like six years now. He had seen me through my failed relationship(s) from that moment, and I have seen him through his. We used to hang out for meals and movies. We still exchange emails and updates about our lives. He is now on a working stint in the States.
There is also C2, who used to hang out with me and whom I used to call whenever I needed a listening ear before he had a girlfriend. I have also known him for six years already. And M, another one I have known for about six years, who is now married, and whom I ask for advise sometimes.
Ex-colleagues from my teaching days who have become close friends are O (a lady old enough to be my mother), who for some reason, took me as her goddaughter and who used to always tried getting me to go out with her son. Even now, she will occasionally call me and ask about my status.
There are also GL, SL (whom I attended her wedding in late 2004), AL, my supervisor H and my choir partner SK (who married a Latino and now expecting a baby in England).
Without them, I would never have managed to cope with my first year as a teacher. If not for their help, guidance, tips and advise, I would never have made it through and passed my probation. Whatever improvement I made as a teacher was mostly due to their encouragement and support.
Plus teachers from other schools whom I met through workshops, like this guy CH, who would pick me up and drive me to the workshop venue during the nine-week session, who shared with me the joy of his daughter's birth, and once tried to introduce me to his classmate and colleague.
Then there are RB and JN, whom I met from the Lyric Opera, whom I view as my elder sisters and will sometimes confide in. There is ET (also from the Lyric Opera), my friend who got married last weekend, who always help me see things objectively from a guy's point of view whenever I find it hard to understand some people.
D was also from the Lyric Opera. He was the one who sponsored me in my bible classes, and saw through my journey to baptism and confirmation. He was with me every week, got me involved in his church choir and retreat, and the first carolling to the elderly, even though he has a girlfriend (now his wife). I will always be grateful for his time and support.
The greatest mistake I ever made was to be with a certain married jerk. I have already lost all feelings for him a long time ago. I only feel sad for his wife and kid, and for myself, for being so foolish. It was from there that I started using my head instead of my heart.
If anything, he made me grow up. He opened my eyes to the exact type of person he is. He made me realise that the world is not all plain and simple, as seen from my idealistic eyes. Ironically, he achieved something which no other guy I was involved in had ever achieved - to use my head instead of my heart.
In the past year itself, there were two guys I was seeing, not at the same time. One of them was a very interesting person, and we got to have lots of fun together, but ever since he said to stop seeing each other, he totally cut off all contact with me.
Still, we had a great time. He really took care of me. Even when I went to his place, when he had no car, he would walk with me to the bus stop or train station, took the bus or train back with me, walked me back home, then go all the way home on his own, no matter how late.
When he had a car, he would pick me up from my place or office and drove me back. Even when he asked me to go to his place, he would come out from his place to my place to pick me up, then drive all the way back.
The other one is a more introverted person, but I enjoyed his company much more, because I was able to talk to him about anything and everything, able to relate and have a connection, something which I could never achieve with the previous guy.
He also gave me a very good time. The first time we went out, he came to pick me up from my place. He came out of the car and gave me a gift as a "first meetup present", then opened the car door for me. Since then, whenever we went out, he would pick me up from my home or office and drove me back after that.
When he knew I wanted to watch Jacky Cheung and Beauty World, he offered to pay and gave me his credit card number, expiry date as well as identification number, so I could book using his card. Even though now he is no longer going to watch with me, he refused to let me pay him and told me to just give the extra ticket away.
He even bought me a pair of white gold dangling earrings and white lilies on Christmas Eve! Which is why I still think of him quite a bit. Right now we are still in touch, and that is a good thing, as, well, who knows what the future will bring?
There is also G, a guy I met a few months back. He was the one that got me involved in the recent carolling session, and who guides me in prayers and whom I will discuss about religion and the bible.
We went out a few times, and he always picked me up from my home or office and drove me back after that. During his church fund-raising, he specially saved a little accessory for me which they were selling. Even during the carolling practices and sessions, he would come by to pick me up and drove me back.
There is also DN, whom I met in late 2006. I remember the day I met him, it was raining very heavily. I lost my way on the way to the cafe, so I called the cafe, requesting to speak to him. I apologised profusely for being late and asked if he would wait.
I am not sure if I gave him a very good impression after that, because he did wait for me. When I arrived, I was totally drenched. I paid for the coffee session, as compensation for being late, then he asked me out for dinner.
After that, we were stranded in the rain for a very long time, and in the end, he sheltered me with his briefcase and we made a run to the train station opposite to take the train back. He sent me a message to ensure that I reached home safely.
Since then, he would ask me out as and when. These four guys I just mentioned really take care of me whenever we are out, they never allow me to pay a single thing even when I offer, and will pick me up and drive me back.
They are attentive and gentlemanly. I feel really pampered when I am out with them! They make me realise that I am entitled to good treatment too, that I deserve to be treated like a real lady!
Current colleagues and friends in my company include YY, my former lunch buddy, whom I used to talk and confide in. Then there was VY, the former Legal Counsel. And now CY, the new colleague and current lunch buddy, who is twenty-four and married, and will give me tips on relationships and marriage.
Not to mention friends I met from the blogging circle, like Richard, Mark, Sonic, Ole Wolvie, Gus, Grace, Sentosa, Goy, Imp and WL, some of whom have progressed to emailing and chatting online, and whose comments, feedback and advise I value greatly.
I am truly grateful for all these people in my life. True friends, and not so true friends. Some of them I have fallen out with, but started talking to again. My best friend and I have quarrelled quite a number of times before, but in the end somehow when we contacted each other again, it was as if the quarrel never took place at all.
My third ex and I had a messy breakup, but now we are talking and getting along greatly like very old friends. It was as if we were never involved with each other before, there was no awkwardness whatsoever.
True friendship, like love and relationship, really need to withstand the test of time. Despite all the quarrels and disagreements, despite having differences in opinions, despite people changing and maturing, the friends who stand by me all these while are the ones I really and truly treasure.
A real strong friendship needs to go through trials, and I know these are the friends I will keep for life. Just like a relationship, sometimes the couple need to go through some trials and tests and if the relationship can survive, it will emerge all the more stronger.
Many a time when I was growing up, I wished I could have other kinds of parents instead, but for the past couple of years or so, I have begun to truly appreciate my parents and family members because they have stood by me and helped me out despite my mistakes.
In this relatively short life I have, with an even shorter religious journey, I am grateful for certain people whom I have come across. Some have become a part of my life, some I have lost contact with, some I do still keep in touch with but they have become mere acquaintances.
Not everyone has been good though, which is why in life, one has to take the good and the bad, otherwise life is just so boring with no excitement. Although of course I wish for more good times and a simpler life, instead of dealing with stupid idiots of late.
Where shall I begin? I am never a social butterfly, even now. I am more a wallflower. I find it hard to open up to people whom I do not know in person. Somehow I seem to be more chatty online than actual face to face. Which is why I have very few close friends, instead of many friends.
But then there are people whom one can click with from the beginning, and there are people whom one has totally no chemistry with. With this I mean for both genders, because those whom one can get along with normally become firm friends and those whom we have no chemistry with we do not even keep in further contact.
I do not have that many friends in primary school. The only ones I still know from primary school are ironically those whom I know from outside and not from my own school. We still keep in contact, with the occasional messages and emails.
They are three guys, Z (the brother of my senior), B (a guy I met in a holiday camp) and Y (my godbrother). I met Z through his sister as we stay near each other (even now - just down the street at the other side of the train station) and he is one guy I have known for the longest time - twenty years in fact.
He used to study in the boys' school opposite my school, so we would meet up after school sometimes to study together, exchange papers and tutor each other. He would guide me in Chinese, Mathematics and Science and I would guide him in English and Literature. My classmates used to think we were a couple!
B's mother and my mum used to work in the same company, so we always met each other in the same holiday camp, and since we are both the same age, we always ended up in the same team. Of course we exchanged numbers and kept in contact, as even though we went to different schools, we would exchange papers and studied together sometimes.
Y is now somewhere in the States, one of the high powers of Wall Street, after graduating with a double degree in Engineering and Finance. I "adopted" him after a certain incident when he showed his really cute and innocent side!
Then in secondary school, I had a couple of close friends, both girls since I was from a convent. ML and P are best friends, even now. P just got married to her first boyfriend, whom she broke up with but later got back together after ten years and two more relationships.
I used to go to ML's place all the time and vice versa in lower secondary since we stayed just three bus stops away from each other. We were so close that we even showered together, being both girls! We also bought Teacher's Day gifts together, and her mother used to know me quite well.
P used to stay just down the street from me before she married. We have a common pen-pal from England, whom we met up with when he came by a few years back.
Upper secondary, I met L from a holiday computer enrichment class. He happened to study in the boys school opposite my school, and is one year my junior. We lunched together during the five-day class, and took the same bus back together since we happened to be staying around the same area.
The following week, he called me and we chatted for about three hours. Then he asked me out for a computer exhibition and brought a friend along. A few days later, he asked me out to play badminton, but since he was a school player, needless to say my skills were hardly on par with his.
After that, we did not keep in contact save for the Christmas cards we sent each other. A year later, on my birthday, he called me to wish me a happy birthday, and sent me a Birthday card. I was rather surprised to hear from him that time.
However, since then, we never kept in touch anymore, although I still see him sometimes near my place, but he does not seem to recognise me anymore. In any case, I think he is now married.
Post-secondary, I met my best friend. Coincidentally, she was the classmate of B when they were in secondary school. Before I entered the school, he called me and told me to look out for his classmate, and she was the first person I met during orientation.
Since then, we began a long history of close friendship and each other's confidantes all the way until now. I went to her house often, and her parents, grandmother, sisters, even her maternal grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins and friends know me!
She is the only friend I have (not including guys I have had relationships with, because when I was with the guys, obviously I would get to know his family members, relatives and friends) that I know to such an extent!
And of course, her ex, who was more in her class than mine. We used to go out together quite often, she and him, my second ex and I. The four of us would go for movies, or meals, or generally just go to her place to hang out and relax. We would also go to his (her ex) place whenever there was any festive occasion. Those were really happy and carefree times.
Post-secondary, I met my first ex too. We were involved in some activities together, which was why we started hanging out more often in the first place, even though we were in different classes.
Falling in love then was a wonderful feeling. I was young and naive, and I was at the stage of my life where I was rebellious and went against my parents all the time. Come a guy who was witty and interesting, and who showed interest in me and well, I lost my head and my heart.
My best friend warned me against him, but I chose to rule by my heart, only to have it broken very badly. Yet she was the one who stood by me after that, ensured I was alright, brought me out together with her classmates, kept me happy, brought me to the arcade to hit my frustrations out, even bringing me to watch movies with her family members! My ex just went on with another girl shortly after, and never gave a hoot as to whether I was alright!
Despite that, we had good times. We went kite-flying at the then Marina South, had a long walk and saw the sunset on the beach. He would get his dad to pick me up at my home in the mornings and we would go for breakfast together before school started.
A year later, he called me and asked for a reconciliation, as his girlfriend (ex) just left him. He asked me to the beach, and he would take me for a stroll along the waterfront, where we would sit on the breakwater moon gazing.
I was so mad that I just hung up the phone. The day of his twenty-first birthday, I called him to wish him a happy birthday, and that was another mistake, as when he found out I was going into teaching, he was full of criticisms and sarcasms, as if nothing I embarked on could ever succeed. I was so seething with rage that I totally cut off all contact since then.
Tertiary, and I met my second ex. I met a few other close friends in law school, like the guy CK (the top student of my batch), whose best friend is a female called S1, another one of my close friends whom we still keep in contact up to now.
Then a guy J, the leader of our tutorial group. S2, another lady whom I still contact occasionally. CK is now in the States, having license to practice in Singapore, England and now the States as well. J is now a lecturer.
S1 used to be the Legal Counsel for Creative Technologies, but ever since getting married in late 2005 (whose wedding I attended together with S2), she has been having a semi-socialite life. S2 is still working in a small law firm, and is not about to change.
S1 gave me my first makeup kit, then she and my best friend came by to my place and gave me a crash course on makeup and grooming. Then they brought me shopping and taught me how to be more fashion-savvy and dress according to my figure and skin colour.
And of course, friends of my second ex, like BI, who used to work at the Ministry of Law and whom we used to visit sometimes when he was working overtime and alone in the office. And SR who is now married to a dietician and runs his own company, and who still messages me once in a while.
It was also at this time that I met MC. S1, S2 and a few other classmates and I were at the campus cafe. Seated at the table next to us were a group of guys. For some reason, two of them kept turning our way.
Initally, I thought it was because the food we got were appetising since we ordered lots of food as that day we just ended a tough tutorial session so wanted to have a mini-celebration.
Then when we stepped out of the cafe, one of the guys at the table came running up to us, tapped me on my shoulder, gave me a piece of paper, and said, "Sorry, my friend asked me to give you this" before running back.
On the slip of paper was the name (MC) and his pager number, with the words, "Pls don't disappoint me". Well, I had no idea what to make of that, and my friends were teasing me to no end. I was already attached then, and told my ex. Needless to say, he was not very happy about it.
Still, I could not control my curiosity and called (paged) the number. When that guy called, he said that I look a lot like a former girlfriend of his, and he would really like to get to know me. Since then, we would chat on and off on the phone.
Sometimes in the morning, he would meet me at my hostel and we would go for breakfast together. He gave me a gift on my birthday. I did not exactly reject his advances, but neither did I encourage him, as to me, he was just a friend. I wanted my ex to know him too but he (my ex) refused.
Even after I left the school, we would still keep in contact for another year or so, before finally losing touch with each other. Come to think of it, it had been almost ten years when he first asked his friend to give me that slip of paper with his number and I had no idea how he is now.
Friends I met in my teaching course include HP. She took almost all the same modules as me (except she took English Language whereas I took English Literature, but all the others are the same), so we became really close and would study and discuss tutorials and projects together.
The guy E, who used to kid with us (me and HP), and who declared he would never marry, but the last time I saw him in 2005, he had a ring on his finger. He used to stay behind my second ex, so we used to take the same transport together whenever I was going to his (my ex's) place.
There is also the guy R, whom I taught how to play the piano, and who always wanted to be my partner during music projects and keyboard examinations. Then the friends I know from the Catholic Student's Apostolate like PT, the President (whom I take as some sort of elder brother) and his wife A.
The Vice-President C1 and her husband H, our Publicity Officer RS and her husband JC, as well as a former member JL. I still keep in touch with them, and we went to RS and JC's wedding in June 2006.
And then RM, who is several years older than me, married with a wife and three kids, but chose to stay in the hostel because it was too far to travel from his home to campus. We used to visit each other in our respective rooms, and when I was ill once, he brought up some food for me. A real family man!
There is also SH and her husband HQ, who was the President and Business Manager of the Student Liaison Club for which I was Treasurer. They now have a one year old daughter. They got married in December 2005, but since I was away in Tasmania then, so did not attend their wedding.
Other friends I have met in tertiary via the internal email system and whom we still keep in touch are two guys, AD and V. AD used to share his poetry with me, and he gave me a booklet of poems he composed on his own during one of my birthdays! AD would also compose some songs and he would page me and sang his compositions into my pager's voicemail!
V was the one who introduced me to my third ex. We (V and I) used to chat a lot online, and he would confide all his ups and downs in me, asking for advise on his broken heart(s), and I would dump all my emotional baggage on him as well.
I have known both guys (AD and V) for a decade already. Now they are both attached, with V getting married next year. AD broke up with his girlfriend two years back but recently they got back together, with a much stronger relationship than before.
Then there is also RC, whom I knew from my music class, and whom I really enjoy intellectual conversations with. He is my age and from one of the more prestigious schools, so we used to discuss schoolwork as well. I have known him for about fifteen years now.
I remember once when he was still in the army, he was so bored that he called me to chat. Luckily I was at home. That day, we chatted for four hours! Another time he paged me, and left a voicemail asking if I wanted to chat. So I called him back and we chatted for another few hours!
Then when I broke up with my second ex, he took me out and spent the day with me, despite having a girlfriend (now his wife). I just attended his baby's first month celebration in October.
Actually after I broke up with my second ex, I really had lots of help, and for that I was eternally grateful. Besides RC, my best friend took me out to her cousin's twenty-first birthday party in a chalet, then we went to her place and stayed the night. She even took me to her colleague's housewarming party!
HP brought me out for a movie and meal, without her then-boyfriend, and we just spent the whole day together, both of us. V brought me out together with his friends, for a movie, meal and pool session.
I have the best memories with my second ex. He would go with me to my hostel on Monday mornings, then go to my hostel on Fridays and picked me up when I went home during the weekends. That time he did not drive, so he would take the long train ride with me.
Then when he started driving, he would pick me up from home and would drive me to church, or drive me back to my hostel. Every Valentine's Day, Christmas and Anniversary, he would never forget a gift and flowers and would bring me out to celebrate. He was there during my graduation and vice versa.
Despite all our quarrels and bitterness, the messy breakup and his temper, I did have a good time and felt quite blessed being with him throughout. I used to be bitter and focused on the negative things, but of all my exs, he was the one that really treated me the best.
Friends I have met in adulthood include K, whom I have known for like six years now. He had seen me through my failed relationship(s) from that moment, and I have seen him through his. We used to hang out for meals and movies. We still exchange emails and updates about our lives. He is now on a working stint in the States.
There is also C2, who used to hang out with me and whom I used to call whenever I needed a listening ear before he had a girlfriend. I have also known him for six years already. And M, another one I have known for about six years, who is now married, and whom I ask for advise sometimes.
Ex-colleagues from my teaching days who have become close friends are O (a lady old enough to be my mother), who for some reason, took me as her goddaughter and who used to always tried getting me to go out with her son. Even now, she will occasionally call me and ask about my status.
There are also GL, SL (whom I attended her wedding in late 2004), AL, my supervisor H and my choir partner SK (who married a Latino and now expecting a baby in England).
Without them, I would never have managed to cope with my first year as a teacher. If not for their help, guidance, tips and advise, I would never have made it through and passed my probation. Whatever improvement I made as a teacher was mostly due to their encouragement and support.
Plus teachers from other schools whom I met through workshops, like this guy CH, who would pick me up and drive me to the workshop venue during the nine-week session, who shared with me the joy of his daughter's birth, and once tried to introduce me to his classmate and colleague.
Then there are RB and JN, whom I met from the Lyric Opera, whom I view as my elder sisters and will sometimes confide in. There is ET (also from the Lyric Opera), my friend who got married last weekend, who always help me see things objectively from a guy's point of view whenever I find it hard to understand some people.
D was also from the Lyric Opera. He was the one who sponsored me in my bible classes, and saw through my journey to baptism and confirmation. He was with me every week, got me involved in his church choir and retreat, and the first carolling to the elderly, even though he has a girlfriend (now his wife). I will always be grateful for his time and support.
The greatest mistake I ever made was to be with a certain married jerk. I have already lost all feelings for him a long time ago. I only feel sad for his wife and kid, and for myself, for being so foolish. It was from there that I started using my head instead of my heart.
If anything, he made me grow up. He opened my eyes to the exact type of person he is. He made me realise that the world is not all plain and simple, as seen from my idealistic eyes. Ironically, he achieved something which no other guy I was involved in had ever achieved - to use my head instead of my heart.
In the past year itself, there were two guys I was seeing, not at the same time. One of them was a very interesting person, and we got to have lots of fun together, but ever since he said to stop seeing each other, he totally cut off all contact with me.
Still, we had a great time. He really took care of me. Even when I went to his place, when he had no car, he would walk with me to the bus stop or train station, took the bus or train back with me, walked me back home, then go all the way home on his own, no matter how late.
When he had a car, he would pick me up from my place or office and drove me back. Even when he asked me to go to his place, he would come out from his place to my place to pick me up, then drive all the way back.
The other one is a more introverted person, but I enjoyed his company much more, because I was able to talk to him about anything and everything, able to relate and have a connection, something which I could never achieve with the previous guy.
He also gave me a very good time. The first time we went out, he came to pick me up from my place. He came out of the car and gave me a gift as a "first meetup present", then opened the car door for me. Since then, whenever we went out, he would pick me up from my home or office and drove me back after that.
When he knew I wanted to watch Jacky Cheung and Beauty World, he offered to pay and gave me his credit card number, expiry date as well as identification number, so I could book using his card. Even though now he is no longer going to watch with me, he refused to let me pay him and told me to just give the extra ticket away.
He even bought me a pair of white gold dangling earrings and white lilies on Christmas Eve! Which is why I still think of him quite a bit. Right now we are still in touch, and that is a good thing, as, well, who knows what the future will bring?
There is also G, a guy I met a few months back. He was the one that got me involved in the recent carolling session, and who guides me in prayers and whom I will discuss about religion and the bible.
We went out a few times, and he always picked me up from my home or office and drove me back after that. During his church fund-raising, he specially saved a little accessory for me which they were selling. Even during the carolling practices and sessions, he would come by to pick me up and drove me back.
There is also DN, whom I met in late 2006. I remember the day I met him, it was raining very heavily. I lost my way on the way to the cafe, so I called the cafe, requesting to speak to him. I apologised profusely for being late and asked if he would wait.
I am not sure if I gave him a very good impression after that, because he did wait for me. When I arrived, I was totally drenched. I paid for the coffee session, as compensation for being late, then he asked me out for dinner.
After that, we were stranded in the rain for a very long time, and in the end, he sheltered me with his briefcase and we made a run to the train station opposite to take the train back. He sent me a message to ensure that I reached home safely.
Since then, he would ask me out as and when. These four guys I just mentioned really take care of me whenever we are out, they never allow me to pay a single thing even when I offer, and will pick me up and drive me back.
They are attentive and gentlemanly. I feel really pampered when I am out with them! They make me realise that I am entitled to good treatment too, that I deserve to be treated like a real lady!
Current colleagues and friends in my company include YY, my former lunch buddy, whom I used to talk and confide in. Then there was VY, the former Legal Counsel. And now CY, the new colleague and current lunch buddy, who is twenty-four and married, and will give me tips on relationships and marriage.
Not to mention friends I met from the blogging circle, like Richard, Mark, Sonic, Ole Wolvie, Gus, Grace, Sentosa, Goy, Imp and WL, some of whom have progressed to emailing and chatting online, and whose comments, feedback and advise I value greatly.
I am truly grateful for all these people in my life. True friends, and not so true friends. Some of them I have fallen out with, but started talking to again. My best friend and I have quarrelled quite a number of times before, but in the end somehow when we contacted each other again, it was as if the quarrel never took place at all.
My third ex and I had a messy breakup, but now we are talking and getting along greatly like very old friends. It was as if we were never involved with each other before, there was no awkwardness whatsoever.
True friendship, like love and relationship, really need to withstand the test of time. Despite all the quarrels and disagreements, despite having differences in opinions, despite people changing and maturing, the friends who stand by me all these while are the ones I really and truly treasure.
A real strong friendship needs to go through trials, and I know these are the friends I will keep for life. Just like a relationship, sometimes the couple need to go through some trials and tests and if the relationship can survive, it will emerge all the more stronger.
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