I have been doing a lot of thinking the past couple of days, trying to find a solution to the very issue that is closest to my heart. I was thinking back to before Christmas where even though I enjoyed someone's company very much and knowing that he is a great guy in many aspects, yet I never felt such intense feeling back then.
Back then, if he had not told me he wanted to continue seeing me, but chose to pull out there and then, I would have been disappointed but I would not have felt anything much. I would just move on and look forward to better opportunities.
I spent the past few nights battling both my left and right brains. I have been trying to suppress my right brain, so thankfully my left brain is getting stronger lately, although my right brain will still emerge winner once in a while.
Last night I took a look at all the things which I had "in his memory" so to speak, and kept them all in a box, which I put under my writing desk. This represents a part of my life, a very brief part. Perhaps one day I shall pass it to him, but for now, it is enough that I have decided to make the effort to move on and let whatever happens, happen.
So now whenever I experience anything, be it happy or sad or trivial, whenever I see a book which I think he will like or a piece of music which he will appreciate, I resist the temptation to drop him a mail. No way am I going to end up with so many drafts, yet all unsent!
And whenever I see his name in my address book, I resist the temptation to drop him a message asking how he is and updating him about what I am doing. Out of sight, out of mind, perhaps I can move on faster.
I still continue praying for him though, asking God to heap blessings upon him, for him to be happy and lead a good and fulfilling life. Because if one cares for someone, it does not have to be possession, nor does it have to be ownership. Just seeing the person happy and fulfilled is good enough.
And with that, I can truly start moving on and keeping an open mind.
Back then, if he had not told me he wanted to continue seeing me, but chose to pull out there and then, I would have been disappointed but I would not have felt anything much. I would just move on and look forward to better opportunities.
I spent the past few nights battling both my left and right brains. I have been trying to suppress my right brain, so thankfully my left brain is getting stronger lately, although my right brain will still emerge winner once in a while.
Last night I took a look at all the things which I had "in his memory" so to speak, and kept them all in a box, which I put under my writing desk. This represents a part of my life, a very brief part. Perhaps one day I shall pass it to him, but for now, it is enough that I have decided to make the effort to move on and let whatever happens, happen.
So now whenever I experience anything, be it happy or sad or trivial, whenever I see a book which I think he will like or a piece of music which he will appreciate, I resist the temptation to drop him a mail. No way am I going to end up with so many drafts, yet all unsent!
And whenever I see his name in my address book, I resist the temptation to drop him a message asking how he is and updating him about what I am doing. Out of sight, out of mind, perhaps I can move on faster.
I still continue praying for him though, asking God to heap blessings upon him, for him to be happy and lead a good and fulfilling life. Because if one cares for someone, it does not have to be possession, nor does it have to be ownership. Just seeing the person happy and fulfilled is good enough.
And with that, I can truly start moving on and keeping an open mind.
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