Contemplating A Change Of Environment

I am getting so pissed by the nitty gritty things in my office that I seriously feel like moving on. When I joined this company in September 2006, there was no place for me, so I had to sit in the storeroom, together with all the files and documents.

I was a hermit for four months, nobody knew I existed because I was not introduced around and my then-boss was too busy to really orientate me. I was not given a computer until about a few days later! That time I was the only one with a computer, when everyone else had a laptop. It made me feel like a spare tyre.

I tried to be more proactive, getting information on my own, instead of waiting for others to tell me things, but everyone was either too busy or could not be bothered to answer my queries.

I also took the initiative to befriend people, joining them for lunch, but it seemed that our topics of conversation were different. Most are married with kids, so all they talk about are their husbands, children, in-laws and buying and striking lottery.

So after a while, I started lunching alone, which is fine because I can go to a cosy corner of an eating place and take my time to eat while reading a book. As a result, some of the eating place staff around here know me by sight and know what it is I want to order and where I want to sit.

Then my previous Head of Legal and Legal Counsel left one after another, in November and December 2006. So the Company Secretary was very kind to ask me to move outside, to the place recently vacated by the Legal Counsel. When my new Legal Head (my current boss) and the Legal Counsel came in, I was asked to move back to the store room again.

January 2007 was audit time, and it was quite a tedious process because my company got listed in June 2006, so last year was the first auditing as a public company. That period of time I almost wanted to quit, as I almost broke down.

The auditors kept hounding me for documents, but any documents before September 2006 was not taken care of by me, and with the channel of communication here sometimes, the documents can be anywhere.

The trouble is that everyone assumed I had all the documents, but in the first place, if some other departments prepared a certain document and signed it, but did not pass to me or let me know, I would really have no idea that the document even existed!

Especially documents pertaining to our overseas resorts. Sometimes the overseas resort or company would prepare something, but we were not told, and they signed it internally and kept the documents at their side without letting me know.

Then when the auditors asked, I was totally stumped because I had no idea when the document was prepared and signed, so had to run around asking from everyone. It was really a trying period.

Last April, my office underwent intensive renovation. Finally I had a work place of my own and need not stay in the store room anymore! It was tedious that period of time when we were shifting office and documents, but when everything was over, it was quite a relief. Then I would lunch with the office assistant, or occasionally the Legal Counsel (who has since left).

But my boss expects me to be the store keeper of sorts. Granted we took the store room to store all our files and documents, which are pretty voluminous. However, the room belongs to the office, so we cannot simply claim ownership just like that. Was I supposed to put a sign there saying “Keep Out, Private, No Trespassing”?

The other departments also have documents and files to store. Yet my boss blamed me for letting others put their things in when it was supposed to be our room. It is definitely not our room because it belongs to the entire office, not to anyone or any department! Granted, we have the priority to the room, but it does not mean others cannot use it at all!

The trouble was that after the renovation, anyone and everyone just dumped their unpacked boxes into the room, yet no one wanted to claim ownership. The boxes ended up being stacked up and blocked the cupboards, so I was not able to retrieve any documents.

When I asked around and even complained, I was told the boxes did not belong to anyone, yet when I told my boss and he threatened to throw away anything that did not belong to anyone, I got blamed again for not stopping people from dumping their things in the room, when in the first place I had no idea who were the ones who did that! That was in April – June last year, and that period of time I was really really unhappy.

Luckily now, things are a bit better. The store room has been cleared somewhat and I get to lunch with a colleague, where we do talk and share things with each other. Recently, we have a new Legal Counsel who just came in, and due to lack of space, I have to move again.

It seems that I get bounced around here and there, but what to do, since I am the smallest fry? What really irks me is that I am not beyond doing menial stuff like sending out couriers, or shifting furniture, or even getting screamed and shouted at by my boss, yet people treat me as if I really am the lowest ranking of the lot.

Actually my rank is middle, executive level. I do not mind taking on more work load, even to the extent of doing secretarial or normal administrative jobs. I do not even mind cleaning the store room and the safe. I never do such massive cleaning at home, yet in the office, I had to be like a cleaner but I never once complained or deem it below me.

To me, it does not matter what kind of job and who does the job as long as the job gets done, so if there are things to be done, no matter how menial, I will try my best to do it. Just like when I was shifting my work place, I even moved my own computer and monitor and set it up myself.

This is actually supposed to be done by the Information Technology people, but I did not want to bother them as they are busy enough as it is. Yet I am not even shown the due respect! I am probably the only staff who gets shifted around so often!

My boss once asked why is it I never clear his space for him? Was I expecting him to do the cleaning himself? I was so angry at what he said! Was he treating me like his maid? Not that it is below me to help clear his things, but I hate it that he viewed me as his maid or slave! I am nobody's slave, and I sure do not treat anyone like my slave!

Now I am at the spare place occupied by the Business Development department. The printer is next to me, yet I am not allowed to use because the department is not comfortable with others using the printer. I have no problems using the big printer / photocopier, but I do not like to be treated like an intruder.

When a colleague gave birth last month, the rest wanted to contribute a gift but nobody bothered asking me?! I had to go up and tell my colleague in charge that I would like to contribute too!

I think the reason nobody asked me was because they think I am not close to that colleague, but then giving birth is a joyous event, anyone will want to contribute, so whether close or not, I will want to contribute. If it is even an acquaintance, I would have done the same too, let alone someone working in the same office building!

Actually I do not really mind where I sit. I do not need a big room, or a spacious cubicle, just a normal work space will do. But I only wish that I can be accorded the proper respect and recognition, instead of being treated as if I am not part of the company and just a cheap labourer. As if it is not enough that my work is driving me nuts, now I have to deal with office politics like that. Times like these I really feel like taking a break!

My best friend told me to endure and stay on longer, as it will look good on my resume since this is a rather famous company. Besides, after all the short stints, it is better for me to stay longer here.

Actually in December, I already felt like throwing up everything and quit just like that. With all the blames I got when it was not my fault and my boss screaming and shouting at me as if I am some sort of second-class citizen, I was so tempted to just throw a resignation letter in his face!

But I told myself to hold on because I did want to stay on longer and make my resume look better. But to choose between a more presentable facade and my sanity, I will choose the latter anytime! One of these days when I really break down, it will be time that I move.