There was an article in the Sunday Times yesterday about why foreign women are hot and local women are not. Actually, in another sense, it can also be stated as why foreign men are hot and local men are not.
“Foreign women” in this context means those lower-educated or from those poorer-developed places in Malaysia, Indonesia, Vietnam or China.
“Foreign men” in this context means those higher-educated or from the more developed countries of Australia, America or other parts of Europe.
The article states that local men, especially those that are lower-educated, are getting harder to find a local wife. The men interviewed are those around mid-thirties to early forties and still stay with their parents.
They say that local women, especially the higher-educated ones, will want someone equal or higher than them. They look for where you stay, what car you drive, how much income you make, etc.
And even for those lower-educated, they will want someone higher-educated so as to be able to provide them with a better life. They are reluctant to stay with or take care of the husbands’ families, and prefer more privacy and independence.
Whereas for the foreign women, they find it a blessing to marry a Singaporean, so as long as they are able to marry one, they do not mind where they stay, or what they do, or how they lead the lives, as long as the husbands are good to them and do not womanise.
Actually it is not true. There are still local women who do not mind staying with the in-laws or taking care of the family. And qualifications and income do not matter if both have the chemistry and able to get along well.
The men also said that foreign women are more demure and submissive, but local women have their own say, their own thinking, and often than not, expect the guys to go along with them.
Not true also. In every relationship, there is a give and take. There are still women (and educated ones) who have no qualms being submissive to the ones they love, and will go all out to make them happy.
Now, the local women. Why do they choose foreigners over local men? The statistics are that the number of local women marrying foreigners are still lower than the number of local men marrying foreigners, but the number has been rising over the years on women marrying foreigners.
One woman interviewed said that she has dated two local men. One is too domineering and wanted his way all the time. The other one is too much of a mummy’s boy, so she did not feel secure that he could be responsible towards her. Hmmmm… sounds familiar!
She is now dating a foreigner, and feels that she can relate to him better, as he is independent, mature, responsible and she is able to say her mind without fearing that he will be offended.
Foreign men have high praises for local women, especially those that have been educated overseas. One Australian interviewed said that he had dated two local women, both attractive, bubbly and intelligent, but it was the third (now his wife) that he feels a sense of connection, besides her being attractive, bubbly and intelligent.
He says that he does not want a demure or submissive woman who gives in to him all the time. He likes a woman to tell him how she feels, what she thinks, and even if they disagree, he wants to hear her say.
Well well, perhaps local men should learn from this? Accept an intelligent woman who can have her say, instead of expecting a submissive demure woman who knows nothing except to listen to what he says and lost her own identity as a result?
The Australian guy’s wife was also interviewed. She said she studied in Australia, so is able to assimilate into the Western culture of freedom of speech and independence. She says the local men she had dated, even the higher-educated ones, were put off by her outspokenness.
So does it mean local men need to change their thinking? Perhaps. I have had some bad experiences with local men. And from how they function and the way they think, no wonder they can never find someone.
It is no denying that local women, too, should change the way they think. Is materialism everything? As long as both parties can click, does it matter if the guy is not drop dead gorgeous, or in a high-flying job, or has a fancy car?
I guess what matters most is the ability to live together and carve a future together. The rest are just secondary. Looks will go, money will go, but love, companionship and commitment will be there for the rest of the lives.
“Foreign women” in this context means those lower-educated or from those poorer-developed places in Malaysia, Indonesia, Vietnam or China.
“Foreign men” in this context means those higher-educated or from the more developed countries of Australia, America or other parts of Europe.
The article states that local men, especially those that are lower-educated, are getting harder to find a local wife. The men interviewed are those around mid-thirties to early forties and still stay with their parents.
They say that local women, especially the higher-educated ones, will want someone equal or higher than them. They look for where you stay, what car you drive, how much income you make, etc.
And even for those lower-educated, they will want someone higher-educated so as to be able to provide them with a better life. They are reluctant to stay with or take care of the husbands’ families, and prefer more privacy and independence.
Whereas for the foreign women, they find it a blessing to marry a Singaporean, so as long as they are able to marry one, they do not mind where they stay, or what they do, or how they lead the lives, as long as the husbands are good to them and do not womanise.
Actually it is not true. There are still local women who do not mind staying with the in-laws or taking care of the family. And qualifications and income do not matter if both have the chemistry and able to get along well.
The men also said that foreign women are more demure and submissive, but local women have their own say, their own thinking, and often than not, expect the guys to go along with them.
Not true also. In every relationship, there is a give and take. There are still women (and educated ones) who have no qualms being submissive to the ones they love, and will go all out to make them happy.
Now, the local women. Why do they choose foreigners over local men? The statistics are that the number of local women marrying foreigners are still lower than the number of local men marrying foreigners, but the number has been rising over the years on women marrying foreigners.
One woman interviewed said that she has dated two local men. One is too domineering and wanted his way all the time. The other one is too much of a mummy’s boy, so she did not feel secure that he could be responsible towards her. Hmmmm… sounds familiar!
She is now dating a foreigner, and feels that she can relate to him better, as he is independent, mature, responsible and she is able to say her mind without fearing that he will be offended.
Foreign men have high praises for local women, especially those that have been educated overseas. One Australian interviewed said that he had dated two local women, both attractive, bubbly and intelligent, but it was the third (now his wife) that he feels a sense of connection, besides her being attractive, bubbly and intelligent.
He says that he does not want a demure or submissive woman who gives in to him all the time. He likes a woman to tell him how she feels, what she thinks, and even if they disagree, he wants to hear her say.
Well well, perhaps local men should learn from this? Accept an intelligent woman who can have her say, instead of expecting a submissive demure woman who knows nothing except to listen to what he says and lost her own identity as a result?
The Australian guy’s wife was also interviewed. She said she studied in Australia, so is able to assimilate into the Western culture of freedom of speech and independence. She says the local men she had dated, even the higher-educated ones, were put off by her outspokenness.
So does it mean local men need to change their thinking? Perhaps. I have had some bad experiences with local men. And from how they function and the way they think, no wonder they can never find someone.
It is no denying that local women, too, should change the way they think. Is materialism everything? As long as both parties can click, does it matter if the guy is not drop dead gorgeous, or in a high-flying job, or has a fancy car?
I guess what matters most is the ability to live together and carve a future together. The rest are just secondary. Looks will go, money will go, but love, companionship and commitment will be there for the rest of the lives.
5 comments:
By doing the comparison on different "sets" of "foreigners", it is already not a neutral comparison.
Or, put it another way:
If "foreign men" of set one likes "local women", and "local men" likes "foreign women" of set two, then what is to become of "foreign men" of set two, and "foreign women" of set one?
By the premise of "women prefer marrying higher", those two groups are going to have a tougher time in general.
actually, i take into consideration if a man can provide. he need not be a foreigner. he can be local. but he cannot be chauvinstic. And if local men are to be branded with stereotypes, then i thank god my man and his friends are not like that.
i like men with a cosmopolitan world view. i like men who're my intellectual equal. my man and my male friends would puke if i'm submissive or if their women are. they want a good debate, a strong partnership and someone whose shoulders they can lean on should they falter.
Imp : I feel the same way you do. The man can be local, but he cannot be chauvinist and shallow.
Unfortunately, an alarming number of local men I met are chauvinistic and shallow, and expect the girl to be submissive, not too knowledgeable, cannot be smarter or earn more than him. Sad, but true.
jup: i don't think i would mind a girl earning more than me. although i might feel a wee bit of pressure.
but do girls mind a guy earning lesser than her?
Burninator : It depends on the girl. Personally for me, I would prefer the guy to earn more than me, as I'm not the career-minded type, I rather spend time with the family than to work my life away. And besides, I feel that if the guy earns more than me, I'll have lesser worries.
But for other girls, they have no qualms if the guy does not mind. If the girl is career-minded and she rises very quickly, she will want to put her job first. In which case she would need a guy who is willing to be a backseat. So it all depends on the situation.
Post a Comment