Lilypie

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Chicken And Duck Talk

I am not referring to the Hong Kong comedy starring the Hui brothers. Rather, I am trying to figure out just exactly how to communicate with an old lady, someone who is a few years shy of being a centenerian.

It is not like we are speaking different languages, she understands Mandarin perfectly well, and I do not think my pronunciation is that off pitch even though I am not that comfortable speaking the language. Yet, why does it feel like we are speaking gibberish to each other?

How to get her to understand that :

1. Going to the bathroom in the middle of a television show or disc does not mean we no longer want to watch, thus it does not require her to specially stand up, walk a few steps to the television and switch the whole thing off.

2. Switching on the light at night while going to the bathroom will not make much of a difference to our electricity bill. Rather, if she gropes around in darkness and falls down and injures herself, we will need to incur more medical bills, not to mention our stress and worry about her medical treatment.

3. We are grown-ups who know how to settle our own meals. Coming home after dinner does not mean we do not eat anything at all, so please stop asking us to eat something the moment we reach home, or grumble about why we never eat anything at all and starving ourselves, just because we do not take meals at home.

4. A dory, fillet and salmon is still a fish. Just because they are not shaped like a typical fish (like pomfret or garoupa) does not mean they are not fish. We are having fish (steamed, baked, pan-fried, fried) at every meal because without any fish she rather go without meals, so just eat up and be happy, instead of grumbling about how we are starving her.

5. Dogs have different breeds. Just because the current dog now is a toy breed, so more tame and quiet, does not mean he is totally useless and will not bark at any strangers. Our previous dog belongs to a hunting breed, and of a wilder nature, so was noisier and barked more at just about anything.

6. We will sleep when we feel tired or sleepy. Nothing will happen to us even if we are still up at 1:00am, so please stop coming out of her room, going up the stairs and nagging us to sleep! We will be more worried if she falls down the stairs or knocks into something!

7. Just because the maid wears the old clothes we give her, it does not mean she steals from us. Just because she washes some garment and then keeps in her room does not mean she takes anything from us. So please do not keep asking us to make a police report and get the maid arrested.

I do not mean to be disrespectful, and I know she is old and a bit senile maybe, but still, if this goes on everyday, we will soon be driven crazy!

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