December already. Just a mere thirty more days to the start of another year. Normally around this time, I will be in a highly-strung Christmas mood. Yet this time round, somehow I feel Christmas is not all around.
Is it because I have outgrown the festive mood? Or is it because I still have some personal issues not fully resolved, thus feel more heavy-hearted and not able to immerse in the joys of the giving season?
There is an adage that time will heal all wounds. If I am to be really cynical, I will say whoever came up with this saying had no idea what he (she?) was talking about. Certain things are not to be so easily forgotten, especially if the one that has been hurt is yourself.
Even if given time to recover, how long? Days, months, years? I am still recovering from scars of old, scars of years ago, and with more scars in recent times to open up the old scars, everything will just keep bouncing.
There are some who said I do not pray enough. It is always about praying about my problems, but if that can really solve matters, people will not have frustrations already. Prayer gives peace to a certain extent, but how can one truly forget one's hurts?
It is always about turning the other cheek. But the thing is if someone hurts you to such an extent that you go boiling mad, can you really turn the other cheek? We are just humans, and human nature is such that revenge is always in the mind.
It is jolly well to ignore, to not go down to the level of shallow and narrow-minded people, but who will actually do that? Chances are people will want to fight back. Those who chose to ignore and not fight back are labelled as cowards and escaping from reality. Maybe that is how all the wars started in the first place.
There is also another saying that sticks and stones will break one's bones, but words will never hurt. Again, I find that ridiculous! Words, or emotional damage, seems to be the worst form. Physical damage can be cured, but emotional damage will follow through for a very long time.
Perhaps because I am the type that live more on my heart than my head, thus I feel so much more than others, and always get emotionally swayed. Since young whenever I was teased or bullied in school, I would quarrel or fight back.
It was my mum who told me that people want to see me angry and irritated, which was why they started the teasing in the first place, as it would be fun to see me cry. She said to just ignore and not let anything affect me, and all would die down.
All did die down in the end, but it was only because we went to different classes. I went to a better class where the students were only interested in studying and doing well for the examinations than anything else. Even then, when I met my former classmates and greeted them, they would walk by, pretending not to know me.
Or maybe it is just that I am not a people-person. How does one become a people-person anyway? Is it in born, or trained from young? Most people-oriented persons I have come across always have a few traits.
One, they are bold and friendly. Shyness is not in their vocabulary. Two, they are bubbly and attractive, and people just flock to them. They just have that X-factor, and will have lots of friends. Three, there is just something in them that make them well-liked by everyone they meet.
I am definitely not like that, probably because my family is not like that. Perhaps my youngest brother has the potential to become a well-liked person, because he knows how to curry favour. But for me, I do not believe in that. I believe in saying it like it is, instead of being hypocritical.
Plus the fact that I am so weird. I crave for the arts, culture, charity. I go for artistic shows, not action. I love the opera, theatre, musicals and museum. I listen to slow rock, ballad, new age, classical and soothing love songs, not hard rock, disco and heavy metal.
I state reading, writing, film-watching and singing as my favourite hobbies, not shopping, running, clubbing and dining out. When I go travelling, I love to see the sights, architecture, attractions, immersing in the history and culture and taking nice photographs, not to sleep, eat or shop.
Is it a wonder why I treasure the few close friends I do have? And guard my blog so fiercely? My closest friends are those who have stuck by me through thick and thin, not like the fair-weathered ones I have dropped lately. And I want to have an outpouring of my thoughts and feelings without anyone making any personal attacks on me, or worse, accuse me of plagiarising.
In the first place, plagiarising means copy word for word, paragraph for paragraph, punctuation for punctuation. It means lifting up from somewhere and putting down whole-scale what another person wrote without any form of acknowledgement.
If I did not do that, then I have not plagiarised. Besides, if I do want to copy, I would have copied from everyone, I need not focus on one person just to copy. It just happened that similarities do occur, no matter people believe or not.
There is a possibility that two people who lead different lives think alike and have some similar experiences. I do have different friends who do not know each other, yet have parallel life experiences. And I do know different people who think the same way and have the same interests. Does it mean they copy from each other?
Which is why I do not want to comment or fight back, because I know it is no use. The more I fight, it will only show that I am guilty, otherwise why would I be so defensive over what others say?
Of course I am hurt over all the wrongful accusations. But the damage is done by some other people. I can choose to be defensive and create a cyber row, or I can just choose to ignore and let others think what they like. One cannot please everyone. So in certain cases, ignorance is bliss.
Is it because I have outgrown the festive mood? Or is it because I still have some personal issues not fully resolved, thus feel more heavy-hearted and not able to immerse in the joys of the giving season?
There is an adage that time will heal all wounds. If I am to be really cynical, I will say whoever came up with this saying had no idea what he (she?) was talking about. Certain things are not to be so easily forgotten, especially if the one that has been hurt is yourself.
Even if given time to recover, how long? Days, months, years? I am still recovering from scars of old, scars of years ago, and with more scars in recent times to open up the old scars, everything will just keep bouncing.
There are some who said I do not pray enough. It is always about praying about my problems, but if that can really solve matters, people will not have frustrations already. Prayer gives peace to a certain extent, but how can one truly forget one's hurts?
It is always about turning the other cheek. But the thing is if someone hurts you to such an extent that you go boiling mad, can you really turn the other cheek? We are just humans, and human nature is such that revenge is always in the mind.
It is jolly well to ignore, to not go down to the level of shallow and narrow-minded people, but who will actually do that? Chances are people will want to fight back. Those who chose to ignore and not fight back are labelled as cowards and escaping from reality. Maybe that is how all the wars started in the first place.
There is also another saying that sticks and stones will break one's bones, but words will never hurt. Again, I find that ridiculous! Words, or emotional damage, seems to be the worst form. Physical damage can be cured, but emotional damage will follow through for a very long time.
Perhaps because I am the type that live more on my heart than my head, thus I feel so much more than others, and always get emotionally swayed. Since young whenever I was teased or bullied in school, I would quarrel or fight back.
It was my mum who told me that people want to see me angry and irritated, which was why they started the teasing in the first place, as it would be fun to see me cry. She said to just ignore and not let anything affect me, and all would die down.
All did die down in the end, but it was only because we went to different classes. I went to a better class where the students were only interested in studying and doing well for the examinations than anything else. Even then, when I met my former classmates and greeted them, they would walk by, pretending not to know me.
Or maybe it is just that I am not a people-person. How does one become a people-person anyway? Is it in born, or trained from young? Most people-oriented persons I have come across always have a few traits.
One, they are bold and friendly. Shyness is not in their vocabulary. Two, they are bubbly and attractive, and people just flock to them. They just have that X-factor, and will have lots of friends. Three, there is just something in them that make them well-liked by everyone they meet.
I am definitely not like that, probably because my family is not like that. Perhaps my youngest brother has the potential to become a well-liked person, because he knows how to curry favour. But for me, I do not believe in that. I believe in saying it like it is, instead of being hypocritical.
Plus the fact that I am so weird. I crave for the arts, culture, charity. I go for artistic shows, not action. I love the opera, theatre, musicals and museum. I listen to slow rock, ballad, new age, classical and soothing love songs, not hard rock, disco and heavy metal.
I state reading, writing, film-watching and singing as my favourite hobbies, not shopping, running, clubbing and dining out. When I go travelling, I love to see the sights, architecture, attractions, immersing in the history and culture and taking nice photographs, not to sleep, eat or shop.
Is it a wonder why I treasure the few close friends I do have? And guard my blog so fiercely? My closest friends are those who have stuck by me through thick and thin, not like the fair-weathered ones I have dropped lately. And I want to have an outpouring of my thoughts and feelings without anyone making any personal attacks on me, or worse, accuse me of plagiarising.
In the first place, plagiarising means copy word for word, paragraph for paragraph, punctuation for punctuation. It means lifting up from somewhere and putting down whole-scale what another person wrote without any form of acknowledgement.
If I did not do that, then I have not plagiarised. Besides, if I do want to copy, I would have copied from everyone, I need not focus on one person just to copy. It just happened that similarities do occur, no matter people believe or not.
There is a possibility that two people who lead different lives think alike and have some similar experiences. I do have different friends who do not know each other, yet have parallel life experiences. And I do know different people who think the same way and have the same interests. Does it mean they copy from each other?
Which is why I do not want to comment or fight back, because I know it is no use. The more I fight, it will only show that I am guilty, otherwise why would I be so defensive over what others say?
Of course I am hurt over all the wrongful accusations. But the damage is done by some other people. I can choose to be defensive and create a cyber row, or I can just choose to ignore and let others think what they like. One cannot please everyone. So in certain cases, ignorance is bliss.
2 comments:
then ignore. don't just keep running. run once, twice and leave it as it. this is ur blog. if they keep up with the snide comments, then it's very obvious who's the ungracious and petty-minded people there.
if u can answer to ur conscience, then all's fine.
u know u can also name them on this blog. u haven't. and that shows maturity of thought. no point to start a blog war all over. u'll only entertain the readers and hurt urself.
let ur posts and life speak for themselves.
Thanks.
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