There is an adage that blood is thicker than water. But how far would one go for one's family members? What if one of your family members become bankrupt? Will you leave him / her in the lurch or will you be the first one to loan out the cash to tide him / her (and the family) over?
I have observed that as Asians, Chinese especially, we are the most calculative towards our own family members. How often have my friends complain that when they hold a wedding dinner, it is their friends who give more than their own relatives? It is like relatives take for granted that it is a must to invite them, so they need not give that much.
But all these are just trivial. What happens if your family members or loved ones commit a crime and get sent to jail? How far will you go for them then? Will you be the first to get a good lawyer, fight their case, give them all the support they need, or will you just ostracise and leave them to fate?
My cousin works in the prisons department. She said that the families of prisoners do come and visit them and willing to give them a chance to turn over a new leaf, and will accept them when they finish their sentences. It is good to see such love and commitment.
But there are some who will vehemently refuse to have anything to do with the person anymore. Parents will disown their children, siblings will not recognise each other, all because they have committed a crime and got sent to jail.
But mistakes do happen. Even the wife of the guy who raped and murdered the little girl, she stood by him all along and pledged to wait for him (although useless now since he got the death penalty). Some people will say this is admirable, that she believes in her husband until the end. Some will say this is stupid and she should cut herself off from her murderer of a husband.
But criminals are humans as well. People may debate that they were inhuman when they committed the crime, but that aside, if they are genuinely sorry for what they have done, should the family and close ones not forgive them and give them the chance to start anew? Afterall, if even the family is not willing to stick with them, then what hope is there left for the criminal in question?
Of course when it comes to a person's life, there will always be varying answers. A murderer who gets the death penalty will cause sorrow and despair to his own family, but to the family of the murdered victim, they will rejoice.
No one pities a murderer. Especially not someone scheming, cunning and heartless like the infamous Adrian Lim, who took away two children's lives just like that, or the more recent Anthony Ler, who not only planned the murder of his wife, but made a young kid do the dastardly deed for him, and the poor kid's life is ruined just like that.
Everyone says they deserve their just deserts, ie the death penalty (and for the kid, being a minor, life imprisonment until the President pardons him). Now if we are the family members of Adrian Lim, or Anthony Ler, or even that kid, how would we feel? Adrian Lim's two wives were both sentenced too for helping him murder the children.
But what about Anthony Ler? He left behind a young daughter. How would she feel? And the kid that committed the murder? How would his parents and siblings feel? If we are the family members, would we cut off all ties? Would we visit them in prison, talk to them, show them support, wait for them to be discharged (if ever) and treat them nicely when they come out?
I suppose we can never feel the turmoil the family members will feel unless we one day get into a similar situation. For me, I hope never to be in this type of situation ever, because I never want to experience such turmoil and heartache.
I have observed that as Asians, Chinese especially, we are the most calculative towards our own family members. How often have my friends complain that when they hold a wedding dinner, it is their friends who give more than their own relatives? It is like relatives take for granted that it is a must to invite them, so they need not give that much.
But all these are just trivial. What happens if your family members or loved ones commit a crime and get sent to jail? How far will you go for them then? Will you be the first to get a good lawyer, fight their case, give them all the support they need, or will you just ostracise and leave them to fate?
My cousin works in the prisons department. She said that the families of prisoners do come and visit them and willing to give them a chance to turn over a new leaf, and will accept them when they finish their sentences. It is good to see such love and commitment.
But there are some who will vehemently refuse to have anything to do with the person anymore. Parents will disown their children, siblings will not recognise each other, all because they have committed a crime and got sent to jail.
But mistakes do happen. Even the wife of the guy who raped and murdered the little girl, she stood by him all along and pledged to wait for him (although useless now since he got the death penalty). Some people will say this is admirable, that she believes in her husband until the end. Some will say this is stupid and she should cut herself off from her murderer of a husband.
But criminals are humans as well. People may debate that they were inhuman when they committed the crime, but that aside, if they are genuinely sorry for what they have done, should the family and close ones not forgive them and give them the chance to start anew? Afterall, if even the family is not willing to stick with them, then what hope is there left for the criminal in question?
Of course when it comes to a person's life, there will always be varying answers. A murderer who gets the death penalty will cause sorrow and despair to his own family, but to the family of the murdered victim, they will rejoice.
No one pities a murderer. Especially not someone scheming, cunning and heartless like the infamous Adrian Lim, who took away two children's lives just like that, or the more recent Anthony Ler, who not only planned the murder of his wife, but made a young kid do the dastardly deed for him, and the poor kid's life is ruined just like that.
Everyone says they deserve their just deserts, ie the death penalty (and for the kid, being a minor, life imprisonment until the President pardons him). Now if we are the family members of Adrian Lim, or Anthony Ler, or even that kid, how would we feel? Adrian Lim's two wives were both sentenced too for helping him murder the children.
But what about Anthony Ler? He left behind a young daughter. How would she feel? And the kid that committed the murder? How would his parents and siblings feel? If we are the family members, would we cut off all ties? Would we visit them in prison, talk to them, show them support, wait for them to be discharged (if ever) and treat them nicely when they come out?
I suppose we can never feel the turmoil the family members will feel unless we one day get into a similar situation. For me, I hope never to be in this type of situation ever, because I never want to experience such turmoil and heartache.
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