More Feasting

The gathering last night was a success! I am very glad over the turnout, and everyone had fun, especially in meeting new people and networking around. At least I get to meet some other cool and fun-loving friends!

It was the first gathering of the writing group for me. I always get nervous and shy meeting new people, although I am much better now. In the past, I would fidget and wonder what to say to others, whether I should impress and if they would think I am someone with no substances whatsoever. But after being in and out of various groups, I have learnt to open up and realise that meeting new people is not as scary as I thought. I just need to be real and myself and that is all that matters.

The gathering started with dinner at Gluttons Bay, an open court with rows of food stalls specialising in local fare, just outside the Esplanade. This open food court is highly recommended by local food gurus, and the food is real good! We had barbecued chicken wings, local carrot cake (both black and white), stingray, satay, fruit, vegetables, murtabak, noodles and a few other dishes.

Then we proceeded to Max Brenner for a chocolate feast. I had a chocolate lick, consisting of liquid milk chocolate with chocolate pops, and the rest had variety of chocolate dishes ranging from truffle to strawberry chocolate milk to waffles to suckaos. A great feast!

Meanwhile, here are the photos from the gathering. Enjoy!

Food... Glorious Food

More Food ....

The pretty ladies

More pretty ladies

The handsome dudes

The cool guy

Our (almost) complete group

Chocolate Feast

My Chcolate Lick

How do you eat this? Dip the ice-cream stick into the milk chocolate, then roll it over the chocolate bits and let the bits stick to the liquid. Heavenly! Unfortunately, I never did manage to stick more than one bit at a time, so in the end I gave up and just put the bits into the milk chocolate and dipped it up a few at a time.

All in all, it was a great time for everyone. I can hardly wait to attend the next gathering!

Life Book At Last!

Finally, I got my laptop! My own white Fujitsu LifeBook P7230! For this, I have to pay through my nose for two years, but nothing gives me greater joy than to own my own laptop, something I have always wanted ever since school days! I have not started using it yet though, as I have to study the manual carefully first before operating it. For now, I am still using the computers at my home and office.

The laptop comes with the new Microsoft Vista operating system, complete with Office 2007 and the Vista-compatible virus software PCilin. Which makes me wonder, in this case, does it mean any other programs I want to download would not be compatible with the laptop? But by right, it should be alright I think, because afterall, newer systems are almost always able to run older softwares, but not vice versa. Besides the new system, the laptop also comes with a webcam, microphone speakers, DVD Reader / Writer, wireless internet access and a fingerprint scanner to log in. Which means I need not type in any password, I can just log in using my finger! Technology is really wonderful at times.

That day when I went down to the computer shop to get the laptop, the shop assistant was really helpful. He treated me like a real customer, but at the same time, did not assume that I know nothing. Comparatively, some of the other shops I went into, the assistants looked so shocked. Afterall, one does not normally see a lone lady wandering around in a computer mall. Most ladies would be accompanied by their families or partners.

Thus, some of the shop assistants either looked me up and down in a way as if they thought I was in some "chicken business", or else they tried to be "smart-alecks" and tried pulling me into their stores and giving me all kinds of unwanted advice. If I am to step into a shop, I know exactly what I wanted, so why not let me browse and compare on my own instead of listening to non-stop irritating blabber? When I found the shop I wanted, I told that particular sales assistant exactly what I wanted and he just got for me without any questions. If only the other customer service officers could be like this!

Appreciation Of The Sonnet

A sonnet is actually an old form of poetry. What distinguishes a sonnet from other poems is that firstly, there are always fourteen lines, broken into eight and six. Shakespearean sonnets will be broken into twelve lines of three sets of quatrains, then two ending lines, as evidenced by modern poet Wendy Cope. The subject matter is almost always about love. In a way, a sonnet is a specialised type of poetry.

I came across this sonnet of all sonnets which puts it across so aptly why sonnets should be appreciated more than other types of poetry. William Wordsworth was a literary genius indeed!

"Scorn Not The Sonnet" - William Wordsworth

Scorn not the Sonnet; Critic, you have frowned,
Mindless of its just honours: with this key
Shakespeare unlocked his heart; the melody
Of this small lute gave ease to Petrarch's wound;
A thousand times this pipe did Tasso sound;
With it Camoens soothed an exile's grief;
The Sonnet glittered a gay myrtle leaf
Amid the cypress with which Dante crowned
His visionary brow; a glow-worm lamp
It cheered mild Spenser, called from Faery-land
To struggle through dark ways; and when a damp
Fell round the path of Milton, in his hand
The Thing became a trumpet, whence he blew
Soul-animating strains - alas, too few!

How in the world did he manage to squeeze in Petrarch (the "godfather of all sonnets"), Shakespeare, Torquato Tasso (Italian Renaissance poet), Luis de Cameons (Portugal's national poet during the sixteenth century), Dante Alighieri (of "The Divine Comedy"), Edmund Spenser (of "The Faerie Queene") and John Milton (of "Paradise Lost") all into one form? That is what really awes me!

Feasting Away ....

It had been a few days of feasting for me. Festive seasons normally mean more get-togethers, which will result in more eating and big meals, which means I have to start controlling and watching my waist line again. Just as well I have not completed the slimming sessions yet, hopefully I can try to get back into shape soon!

The feasting started last Saturday, eve of the New Year. We had a reunion dinner at home consisting of abalone, mock sharks fin soup, vegetables with that black "hairy" stuff which I have still not figured out the name, big shitake mushrooms, pomfret, whole chicken, beef, pork and rice of course.

On Sunday, first day of the New Year, we went to my maternal grandmother's place for a breakfast of longevity and fortune noodles complete with soup, roasted peanuts, shredded omellete, shallots and more of the black hairy stuff (roasted and dried). Then we went to my dad's sister's place for lunch, where we had garoupa, prawns, broccoli, roasted chicken, cabbage soup with button mushrooms, vegetables and more rice.

On Monday, the second day of the New Year, we had a big reunion at my place for my dad's family. Everyone came over and my parents catered half the food. The food consisted of cereal prawns, roasted chicken, sweet and sour pork, vegetable soup, fried pomfret, vegetables in oyster sauce, and yam paste for dessert.

On Thursday, my boss and I met our Trademark lawyers for lunch at Ah Yat Seafood Restaurant at Turf City. We had the set meal for six, which consisted of tossing of the raw fish, tiger prawns, garoupa, claypot abalone with chicken and mushrooms, vegetables in oyster sauce, fortune noodles and tarts as dessert.

Earlier on there was another reunion at my place for my mum's relatives. A pity my cousin did not come as her baby fell asleep and she did not wish to bring him out. So I could not see the baby and the dog. :-( Anyway we had steamboat for the dinner gathering. All the raw ingredients were prepared beforehand. There were chicken, pork, beef, salmon (choice of boiled or eaten sashimi style), vegetables, eggs, prawns, mushrooms, scallops, fishballs and meatballs, with a pot of boiling soup. We just threw everything into the soup and let the food cook. Healthy choice!

I foresee a couple more big meals this coming week, with a gathering on Tuesday, and another on Thursday, where our big bosses have invited everyone to their place for a New Year gathering. Not to mention the new year goodies which I have partaken, the numerous love letters, chocolate wafers, tarts, chocolate bars, chocolate biscuits, potato chips, the bitter and salty Indonesian crackers (now what is that called?) as well as ice-cream! Looks like I really have to work out vigorously! Just as well I will be starting dance lessons next week!

Best Headlines Of 2006

Received this from my best friend. Almost fell off my chair laughing! Apparently these are true headlines from American newspapers! The comments after each headline was already there, I did not add anything!

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter - Imagine that!

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says - No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers - Now that's taking things a bit far!

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? - Not if I wipe thoroughly! ;-p

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over - What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death - No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant - See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace - I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile - You think?

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures - Who would have thought!

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide - They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges - You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge - He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group - Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft - That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks - Taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half - Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors - Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

A Good Year Wannabe

Just when I was fretting over what I thought would be a bad year, the past couple of days regained my confidence that this may turn out to be a good year after all. Hopefully, it will be the best year of my life, but perhaps that is a bit too far to hope for. Things seem to be going well, especially due to a gathering I am organising for next week. The response has been quite positive so far. I am looking forward to it so much, as I get to meet new friends and widen my social circle. Hopefully that will be a success.

I have been grinning from ear to ear the past couple of days. Seems like working in a more prestigious company has its advantages. Not even when I was in the public sector did I have all these advantages! First, all of a sudden, more banks are willing to give me credit, and automatically giving me gold and platinum cards. Anyway nowadays, one need not need to earn so much to get a gold or platinum card, just the minimum amount will do. Thus, I received my first gold and platinum card in a matter of days!

Secondly, I renewed my mobile contract. I was contemplating whether to change my number so as to cut off contact from people I no longer wish to hear from. However, if I change my number, it will be a hassle letting everyone know. Besides, I love my number. If I change, I will not be able to get such a nice number again! So I decided to stick to the number, and since I renewed the line, I was able to get a new phone at plan price instead of retail price.

Thus, I am now the owner of the pink Motorola Razr v3x! A 3G phone no less, at slightly less than S$40! And it is not baby pink, but bright fuchsia pink, a cheery colour. Initially I wanted to get the limited edition red Motorola Razr v3, as proceeds will go to the Global Fund in aid of AIDS victims in third-world countries. Unfortunately, the phone is only for new subscribers. :-(

Thirdly, because of a certain card promotion, I am able to get a laptop at a certain shop by instalments for two years with no interest. Not only that, I am able to get cash back, so the bank itself will send me a cheque for 2% of what I spent. Since I have such a good deal, why not utilise it? So I called up and reserved the laptop I wanted. It will arrive next week, and after that, I can then be the owner of a white Fujitsu LifeBook P7230!

Fourthly, I signed up for a free wireless internet access under Qmax. Due to that, I am able to get a free webcam from Creative Technologies. I can go to the Creative office to redeem the webcam, and my brothers and I can then start having video-conferencing or chat with people face to face, instead of hiding behind our PC.

But the best news is my brother made peace with me that day. He was actually angry with my mum for being too harsh, but he felt guilty towards me, thus could not bear to face me, but he apologised and said he did not know that affected me so much, and kept assuring me he never once blamed me. So all's well ends well. For that, I treated him to two shows last night - "Dreamgirls" and the new local show by talented director Neo "Just Follow Law".

"Dreamgirls" is absolutely amazing! From the storyline to the acting to the songs, everything is perfect! Just like another "Chicago", but each show has its own distinctions and good in their own rights. And the voices! Goodness, Jennifer Hudson's voice alone can out-sing everyone else! If only I can have a voice like that! One wonders how in the world she got rejected from Amerian Idol? Her voice is better than any of the winners!

Eddie Murphy and Jennifer Hudson are truly deserving of their Best Supporting wins at the Golden Globes. Hopefully they will win the Oscars too. One wonders why is this show not nominated for a Best Picture? There is hardly any show that can enable me to give it a standing ovation at the end, but this is one show that I did. The others are "Forrest Gump", "Chicago" and "The Pianist". Even "Titanic" did not give me that reaction.

Is it due to it being an "all-black movie" as speculated by some? But a good movie is a good movie. One hardly sees a real good movie nowadays. Does it matter who writes or directs or acts in it? So if a show with an all-Asian cast can make it into the Best Picture nomination, why not one with an all African-American cast?

Full-Time Or Part-Time?

I was reading through the student discussion forum which my school had set up for the students to blab about anything under the sun. So far there have only been two posts. One is on how to study and get better grades (common gripe of every student, no matter how old), and the other one is a discussion between studying full-time and studying part-time. Honestly, seeing the train of discussions, I almost wanted to snigger at how shallow? - for want of a better word - some people can be!

Well, if they chose to study there, and chose the mode of studying, and accepted everything, why on earth are they still complaining? One brought up that since the degrees are part-time, will it be as recognised as those full-time degrees from the other universities here, and if in the end the degree is not recognised, then it would be all for nothing. To me, if this person had already started the course, then why still grumble? If he wanted to do a full-time degree, why bother applying to this school?

No doubt here, part-time degrees are less recognised as full-time local or overseas degrees. The criteria is so stringent that even a graduate from, say, University of Sydney, if he did a part-time degree via distance learning, it would not be recognised, but if he went to the university and did a full-time degree there and came back with exactly the same qualifications, it would be recognised, all on the basis that he went there to do it full-time! Why, I wonder? Are the degrees not the same?

Compared to other countries, where distance learning, part-time courses or even correspondence courses will be recognised the instant one completes the course, the part-time degrees here are still not being favoured. In that case, why bother setting up schools and academies to offer part-time degrees via distance learning? Face it, not everyone can have the priviledge of going overseas to study, so why not recognise the qualifications once the degrees have been completed? Is the mode of study such a big deal? Afterall, it is already hard enough to work and study at the same time.

For me, I find it does not really matter if one studies full-time or part-time, as long as effort have been put in and we try our best. I am not asking for recognition once I graduate; rather I take it as a form of enriching my knowledge and learning more things.

"Human Nature Is The Same Everywhere"

When one door closes, another one opens. How apt is the phrase! This applies so much to me, especially in the ups and downs of recent months. Just when I was upset over the loss of a few friends (?), I managed to make a few new friends in a matter of weeks, one was through something as ridiculous as messaging the wrong person!

To track back, perhaps I am someone really idealistic, often being optimistic about the goodness in people, too optimistic at times, to believe that everyone is good and no one would ever betray you unless you have done something to anger that person. But, naive and idealistic I am, I still feel that even if you anger someone, be it intentionally or not, as friends, let alone family, they should just apologise and clear up the misunderstandings. True friends will not let a little dispute get in the way, let alone family members!

Thus, I never adhered to the fact that people would cheat others. To me, I feel if the person does not even know you, why would they want to cheat you? And besides, what good is lying or cheating anyway, especially to someone who is a total stranger? Do people really enjoy toying with others' feelings and take advantage of others' goodness and totally take them for granted? Sorry, but I will not be able to live with my conscience in doing that.

How wrong I was! Not the conscience part in cheating people, but wrong in that people do go around cheating and lying their ways through and still derive satisfaction from their deeds. I have been cheated a few times. Even now, I am totally fazed by why they would do that? What satisfaction can one derive of cheating others? Do not think I am that ditzy not to know what is going on; I just chose to feign ignorance as I did not wish to blow up the matter.

Yet why do I still feel so optimistic about human nature, about there being goodness in everyone? Most people I know have a perverse sense of negativity when it comes to people. It seems as if they feel that everyone is evil and mean, and no one can be trusted, even those you love the most. To them, they view those who are nice and warm as having some ulterior motives. To me, I feel how can you view someone as a friend if you cannot trust the person? How can you even love someone if you do not trust him / her completely and explicitly? And perhaps the person really is warm and friendly by nature, so why be so suspicious?

People have advised me not to blog so much, not to give away every little piece of my detailed dalliances (what dalliances anyway?), because afterall, I will have no idea who read my site and the last thing I wanted is to have what I say turned against me. I never believed, as I thought afterall, people do not know me, so why would they deliberately create trouble, right?

But when trouble really brewed, I was so stumped, so upset. Everything I believed in people started crumbling. I could not fathom why some people would think that everyone who pours their hearts out in cyberspace are those only out for fame, audience and attention, and make a good show by lying their way through! Which brings me to the point on why would these people think whatever people said are untrue? Is there really such a joy in lying to others?

I have also been told not to believe everything people said. Like if someone told me a sob story, I should check through thoroughly instead of dropping everything and helping the person. To me, I feel why would people lie? Seriously, why would the story not be true? To a lot of others, their views are that people can say all they like, but how would one know if it is really true, as afterall, there is no concrete evidence? But to me, I always feel why would it not be true? Is there any purpose for anyone to lie?

I always feel that there is no greater pleasure than to offer help to whoever needs help, be it a listening ear, or monetary, or even advise. And there have been times when I offered to help without anyone even asking, simply because I felt they needed help. To me I just feel good to help others, but to others, they deem me as a nosey parker, a busybody, and said there is nothing they could offer me, so I did not need to do anything.

But I do not help others just to gain anything back. Of course, realists will then tell me to "grow up, everyone is only looking out for themselves, everyone is money-minded", yet I still do not think this way, to which well-meaning folks will then tell me I cannot live my life forever thinking that it is such a wonderful world. Why would others not believe me when I said I do this because I want to, not because I want anything from them?

I guess because most people will not bother doing something for others unless they have something back in return. Most people will never loan out cash, because afterall, why would they want to shortchange themselves? Besides, the issue of money harms most relationships. Best friends have been turned into enemies because of money (and love). And most people will not help, unless it is conditonal, even among family members and loved ones. How many people actually do things unconditionally, with no strings attached, I wonder? Is it any wonder that for a period of time, I was getting despair and losing faith in humanity?

But I have not learnt my lesson. I still believe in the goodness of people. I still believe that I can express however intense I feel about things around me, about issues that happened to me, without anyone putting me down. I still feel I can make friends anytime, anywhere, without anyone having any ulterior motives. And I still think people can still come to me whenever they need, without lying or cheating me.

Perhaps I really am idealistic. But I do believe everyone is good. Which is why I cannot fathom why others always think the worst in people. Even the late Dame Agatha Christie always thought the worst in people, as evidenced in her character Miss Jane Marple's famous line, "Human nature is the same everywhere", when she started predicting murder everywhere she went.

So anyway, I lost a few friends because of "human nature being the same everywhere". Now I am on the verge of losing my brother, the one who has always been close to me. I kept thinking that people are good, so much that to a lot of people, I lost touch with reality. I placed my trust in others whom I should never have trusted in the first place, which got me into this state. I lost friends, money, trust and integrity.

My youngest brother once said, "Come on, how well do you know this person to trust this person with your deepest secrets, even though you felt the connection and that this person was trustworthy? And how well do you know this other person that you were willing to loan four-figure amounts due to a cock and bull story and the person then became totally uncontactable the moment you tried to get your money back?" I always thought my gut feeling would never be wrong, but I must admit, in that once or twice instance, it totally veered off course.

But while I was moping around thinking whether I have placed my misguided trust in men (and women) in general, and I should start viewing humans in a much more negative light, I met a few others through extraordinary circumstances. One was online, another was through the phone, and a third was from a friend. Contrary to what people always tell me, online friends are never to be trusted, but this person seems to be an exception.

I am always drawn to people (both men and women) who are deep and intellectual, and talk about better things than just sex, romps and pornography (for men), and men, money and hooking a rich men (for women). Even though we have only conversed a few times, but each time the conversation was more intense. We actually debated, gave advise and generally chat about societal problems, world issues, conservation of the environment and war and peace. Depressing topics, but I love it!

The second person I recently met was quite sweet actually. It all started when I received a message from an unfamiliar number. So I asked who it was, and the person replied, and then asked if I was so and so. I said no, he had gotten the wrong number. To which he replied, "Sorry Mr, and thanks." Very polite, but then, for the owner of such a beautiful phone number, why would anyone think I am a Mr? I thought that is the type of number any one would think belong to a girl!

Anyway I replied and said that I am actually a Miss, but no problem. And after that, I had no idea what happened and we just started conversing, and voila! I made a new friend! To which well-meaning but negative people again told me, "This person is a complete stranger! Why would you even bother replying?" True, most people would not even bother replying to any message from an unfamiliar number, let alone start a conversation!

Well, I thought it would be polite to correct his error. Afterall, if I mistakenly sent a message to a wrong person, I would also like the other person to correct me. That is the polite and right thing to do, is it not? And besides, no harm knowing someone new. Afterall, people have known others through even more ridiculous circumstances!

I hope I can justify having my faith in humans renewed to a certain extent. Have I not learnt my lesson? Perhaps, but I still choose to believe that people are nice and good in general. As for those who for some reason or other they suddenly show their evil streaks and you have not done anything to offend, then perhaps these are the ones that have never been true in the first place. But for now, I have to solve the problem of how to get my brother talking to me again very soon.

An Emotional New Year

Happy Lunar New Year! Time flew by so quickly that the long weekend has come to an end. It has been a temperamental few days for me, being on an emotional roller-coaster, sometimes at the highest peak, and at times rolling around at the lower level. It is not a good sign being upset so early on in the new year. Each time I tell myself to be happy and embrace the new year, events happened that caused me to feel down in the dumps.

I wonder where my mood came about this time. Could it be due to the sight of everyone fussing over the new baby, triggering in me some sense of loss? Or could it be due to the photos which my Aussie cousin sent me of his newborn girl, which also triggered in me mixed feelings? Or the very touching speech my aunt gave me on parenthood and child-rearing?

Or could it be due to well-meaning relatives (as usual) asking about my status and when I will settle down? Or maybe it was due to the fact that it is so difficult to love someone, that sometimes loving someone wholeheartedly gets more upsetting than not loving anyone, because however much one does, is it worth doing anything if the other person does not even seem to be responding?

I guess what got me really upset is I inadvertently made my first brother angry. I would not mind so much if it was my youngest brother, because he would throw a temper just about any day, but after half an hour he would be alright. But my first brother is one who never loses his temper, yet now he is so angry that he has not been speaking to me for the past few days.

It started with just normal bantering, and joking and jibbing each other, as usual, whenever he was around. The jokes and puns resulted in a friendly and playful punch, which landed smack on the top of my head. The point in time when his fist impacted on my head, I felt as if my entire skull was splitting into half. I could not help it. It was so painful that I cried. Tears just started rolling down.

He went to get some ice for me, and when I put the ice on my head, I felt a bump. It was swollen! I never know the extent of his strength until now! Even now, the bump is still there and I still get headaches on and off. Anyway, somehow my mum guessed what happened, and scolded him like mad. My mum is the type that when she is angry, she will not mince her words, which resulted in lots of emotional damage during our younger years. Her bark is always so poisonous that one wonders how can one's mother ever says nasty things like that to her own children?

So now he is angry with me for getting him into trouble on the first day of the Lunar New Year, but I did not even say anything! All my mum did was to see me applying ice on my head, and she just came to her own conclusion without even asking me what happened. He sneaked out of the house late that night to cool off, but my parents called him back.

So he thought my youngest brother and I betrayed him. We did not say anything, but when my parents searched the house and did not find him, they would know he went out. But the thing is that he still laughs and jokes with my youngest brother, yet he totally ignores me. He could not even bear to be in the same room as me! For instance, when I went down to the living room, he would immediately get up and go upstairs, and when I went back upstairs, he would then quickly go back down.

Now I am really upset. He refused to talk to me so I tried sending him a message, but he had no reaction to that. Finally, I told him yesterday that if he really thinks me as scum, and refuses to even see me, then I will go. I will willingly move out if he hates me so much. I do not wish my mum and his relation to turn sour because of me. And he just kept quiet and not say anything.

So now I am just thinking - should I really move out? Afterall, I would not wish for things to become unbearable, we are all in the same family! But if I am to be treated as an outcast, I rather be the one to go away than to create more trouble.

Speaking of which, I received this from a friend, which I find so true!

Religion Or Tradition?

Come every eve of Lunar New Year, before the big reunion dinner (not really that big actually, just members of my own nuclear family), my family will go to the nearby Buddhist temple where my late grandfather's tablet is placed to pay their respects. Food will be cooked beforehand to be brought to the temple. At the altar, the food will be placed in front of my late grandfather's tablet, then joss sticks will be lit, and each of us will hold three joss sticks in our hands and bend our bodies to pray for my late grandfather's blessings of the year.

I have not been doing this for quite a while, praying with the joss sticks I mean. Ever since I started going to church regularly, I never touched another joss stick, or pray in a Buddhist temple. When I was with my first ex, he was such a staunch Catholic that he forbade me to even step into the temple with my parents, and I got a big scolding for being disrespectful and unfilial (as if one shows filial piety to someone by praying to his tablet?!). However, as the years progressed and I got more involved religion wise, my parents stopped asking me to pray with the joss sticks, but I still had to follow them as a form of respect. Why would it be a form of respect if I just follow them and not pray?

After praying, my parents would then burn the thin sheets of "paper money" into the bin outside. I have never really felt comfortable going to a temple. Firstly, I never understand all the chanting going on. Secondly, the smoke-filled prayer room put me off and made me start gasping for fresh air. Thirdly, I never approve of just burning paper, for whatever reason, as afterall, we need to cut down on paper usage and recycle them so as to save the trees.

Before I get hounded at being insensitive, let me clarify that I am not against the Buddhist faith. I just do not feel comfortable going to a temple. Just like there are some others who do not feel comfortable going into a church, although I must say, church-goers are at least more environmentally-friendly, as they do help in recycling things like hymn books, flyers and the misal books. Still, it is a once-a-year affair and I have to go with my parents.

My parents are not doing this for religion. They do this because it is a tradition. Come Lunar New Year, it seems to be a tradition to pay respects to those who have already gone, and all those burning of the paper is giving the departed new clothes and money to last another year. Do not ask me why this is so as I have no idea, except I know it seems to be some Chinese tradition from long long ago.

But I cannot help but feel guilty for stepping into a temple. Afterall, if I choose to be Christ's follower, am I supposed to even enter another sanctuary for some other faith, even if it is tradition? Since I have embraced Catholicism or Christianity wholeheartedly, am I supposed to do everything required of a good Christian, and forsake all my traditions? Thus, if I follow the Christian way, am I supposed to view Christmas, Good Friday and Easter as most important (which I do), but not Chinese New Year?

Today, the first day of Chinese New Year, is a Sunday. I have to go visiting in the morning. I am supposed to sing for mass in the evening, but as it is, I am not sure if I can make it as my parents may want to bring us visiting around that time. So will I be sinning by not going to church because I need to uphold the Lunar New Year tradition of visiting relatives? At times I seriously wonder how to balance between tradition and religion, whether to swing one way or the other way.

New Year Shopping (And Gripes)

Lunar New Year again, and this time, I actually prepared by buying my own new year clothes. In the past it was my mum who bought all my new year clothes. I buy my own for all others, but during the new year, my mum would somehow manage to find very good and nice bargains, and the clothes she bought are even nicer than what I would have bought myself!

My friends scoff when they find out that my mum still buys my clothes. Just for record, she still buys my new year clothes, but for the rest of the year, I will do my own shopping. Most of my friends feel that their taste in clothes are different from their mothers, but for me, I trust my mum's taste more than anyone else's.

She is the one who taught me how to choose clothes that are nice, with good cuts, and yet value for money. What she buys are less expensive yet better-looking and quality than some of what I buy - more expensive and after a couple of washes, the colour starts to fade and loose strings start coming out.

That does not mean I dress like some dowdy middle-aged lady as well. I believe I am pretty well-dressed already, better than a lot of people. All from my mum's influence! She never buys anything that is too dowdy or frumpy; rather all the clothes she bought for me are befitting for my age and figure!

Anyway this year, she made no mention of going shopping, since she already bought her new year clothes in China last year. So I thought I had to go shopping for new clothes myself. Some people asked why did I not ask her if she was going to buy for me this time, but why should I? It is not as if I cannot buy anything on my own. Besides, I cannot keep expecting my parents to still give me things at this age.

Thus, when I was out last weekend, I bought two dresses for the new year. I saw a frilly red and white dress with a flared skirt and made of soft polyester material. That was not my first choice, as I initially wanted a red and white dotted skirt at the same display window, but upon thinking, the skirt would make me look much older than my age, especially if I match it with a blouse, thus I settled for the dress instead.

A lovely dress for any occasion! I can wear it for tea parties, or gatherings with friends, or dates, or even work! That is real value for money, instead of just wearing for a one-time occasion. Then I went up to the second floor of the shopping mall, and saw another dress. A sleeveless white and red dress. The cutting is perfect, and the design looks like those retro ones from the sixties. I love it, so I bought that as well. Thus, I have two new dresses for the new year!

The good news is that I have gone down a size again! I can go back to wearing size S now! Actually, I could wear XS too, but for my chest area, which for some unfathomable reason, had grown bigger, so I am not able to fit into real slim clothes now (not that I am complaining; I rather have that part bigger than any other parts!). If I keep up, I can fast go back to the size I wanted!

However, the next day, my mum called me into her room and asked me to try on another dress. So she bought one for me after all! It is a red sleeveless dress that looks straight out of an Audrey Hepburn show - mini skirt, big buttons and a big belt to match. I look so retro! I even have the earrings to match! I only need to style my hair into the beehive style, complete with long eyelashes and black eyeliner, and I will look like someone from that era! As I said, I trust my mum's taste more than my own!

Come new year, the same thing will occur. Like what Sumiko Tan wrote in her latest article, it is the same routine of visiting relatives, making small talk, and hearing well-meaning relatives asking when one is going to settle down and have kids. I love my relatives because they are my family, and honestly, they are not that bad as compared to some others I have come across. Perhaps education and affluence do play a part in one's behaviour, that the relatives I have do not behave so "low-class" or totally lacking in etiquette, like what I have seen from many people?

I am not trying to put anyone down, but the thing is, for Chinese people, they find it a routine to butt into others' business and try to dish out well-meaning but totally irritating advice. So what if one is not married? So what even if one gets married but do not wish to have kids as yet? So what even if one have kids but not married? Is it really anyone's business? I wonder if other cultures experience the same thing?

Despite that, I enjoy getting ready for the new year, despite all my brothers' complaints about the same "boring thing over and over again". New Year is the time where I get to see people I normally do not see throughout the rest of the year. And being with family is a pretty warm thing, something which no amount of money or success can ever replace.

Happy New Year everyone!

Hopes For The "New" Year

This self-imposed break came at the right time. I went into a self-reflectory mood and started sorting out my own life. Come first opportunity, I went for a long overdue Confession. The priest said to take a half hour quiet time and read the letters of James and then wait for God's guidance.

So I went home to read the Book of James. It is a short book, but the meaning is really clear! Sometimes God's guidance comes in the most extraordinary ways! I was reading the Bible, when all of a sudden, I actually understood the exact meaning of what I had been seeking! The message is on both faith and action going hand in hand. One cannot just have faith without the action, and vice versa.

The other parts are on not judging others, because who are we to judge? Controlling our tongue as one will only be deemed as "perfect" if we do not sin in words and speech. True friendship is friendship with the world, and conflicts and quarrels are bad because people quarrel for their own selfish pleasures and desires. But the most important is to be humble and slow to anger. Well well, I must really remember all these and not let petty things get in my way of being calm and peaceful!

Incidentally, my first brother was reading me my zodiac. I do not take zodiacs or horoscopes as gospel truths, although at times I was amazed at the accuracy of the sayings. This time, my zodiac said, "You have a pretty good life, but for some petty people who will constantly give you trouble. Be careful of whom you place your trust, and do not think that everyone is good just because they may appear good."

How true! Amazingly true! When I heard that, all of a sudden, all my doubts are cleared as to where my path should be going. Everything became clear to me, and I actually have a vision in my mind just who I should trust and treasure and who I should not bother my time with. Times like this, I feel there really is a higher being up there (not that I have never believed that)!

Thus instead of being frustrated over things beyond my control and upset over people who betrayed me, I should concentrate more on things that I can control, and remember the things most important to me - love, family, true friends, and people who really appreciate me!

Other than that, the past couple of weeks went by pretty well. My parents bought a new sofa and had the old sofa shifted upstairs to the study room. As a result, I finally have the perfect reading couch to lounge in! Now, if only I can fix a lamp somehow at the side of the sofa, all will be set!

Besides that, a friend said to me the other day, "I am glad to have you as a friend." Wow, that really made my day! I was so touched I almost cried! No one has ever said that to me, not even those who have known me for so long, those whom I have helped throughout the way. Most often than not, people tend to just take things for granted and then forget about everything.

But this person actually said that, when we have only known each other for a few months! And I have not done anything extraordinary for him, besides often chatting with him as he is deaf, thus no one really talks to him, so whenever I can, I will chat with him online. I do not think I have done anything wonderful, but still, it feels so good to be appreciated! This is the type of people I will gladly keep as a true friend, and not those who turned around and betrayed me after knowing my deepest secrets.

So for this, I will end the old year and welcome the new year with glad tidings and hoping for lots more better things to come. I have confidence that the year will only get better from here.

Much Ado About A Name

Some time ago, I posted a name post which got me "tomorrow-ed" and triggered the most number of comments ever. That was my early days of blogging when I still went under the nick of "shakespeareheroine", where I explained the usage of this monicker in here.

So now, someone asked me how did "juphelia" came about? Actually it is my own creation - a combination of my favourite Shakespearean characters of Juliet, Ophelia and Celia. Personally, I think it is a very good-sounding name. Perhaps I will name my daughter this in the future.

Whereupon, the same person then asked, what about if I have a son? What will I name him? I have not really decided, although I did think of a few nice-sounding names. So he then suggested the Shakespearean heroes of the same - Romeo, Hamlet and Orlando, and combined it to become "Omelet". I cringed when I heard that! Corny sense of humour some people have! That is no way to name anyone's son!

This came about when I was reflecting on the names which my nephews and nieces have. During my grandparents' time, their names were very simple. Chinese names of one syllable, easy to pronounce and write. My parents' time saw a change in Chinese names, where the names have some special meanings like "flower" or "jade" or "pearl" or "strong" or "healthy". They adopted their own English names.

In fact, among the men, there are names with the meanings of "always number one", "pillar of the country", "country's creme de la creme" and "smart and alert" to name a few. The women have names with the meanings of "golden swallow", "golden pearl" and "golden lotus" to name a few.

My cousins and I have rather unique names, supposedly to be beautiful and poetic in the Chinese language. Yet now, when it comes to the next generation, all of them go by English names. The grandchildren of my dad's sister have names like Timothy, Nicholas, Rachel, Kimberly, Keagan, Keith, Jessica, Johnathan, Joshua and Andrea.

Those of my dad's brother have names like Colin, Vince and Celine. And now, my newest nephew and niece is called Tristan (will he have a sister called Isolde then?) and Emily Maia. Pretty fanciful! As parents, I think it is hard to give a name to your child, because if you give something that does not sound "right", the poor child will be at the butt of cruel and merciless jokes all during his / her childhood. I should know!

For me, I like my name better now than in the past. But if I ever want to change a name, it will be to something really poetic, beautiful and at the same time, means something sweet. A difficult choice actually. It is just as well my name sticks for now, otherwise I may end up calling myself something totally horrendous!

Time Management

Some time last week, a friend accused me of having way too much free time, when he heard I not only blog, but keep a personal journal as well. I will not consider that as having too much time since these are things I really like doing. In fact, I view those who have nothing else to do but to scrutinise people's blogs and posting all kinds of nasty and insulting remarks are the ones who really have way too much free time.

Who is he to comment anyway? He does nothing except watching discs, movies, playing computer games and the occasional dining out and badminton games. I am not saying these are a waste of time because everyone is entitled to their own ways of living, but I do not think it is justified to say I am too free when my time is tied up with all kinds of other activities. In fact, too much free time is just what I do not have!

Contrary to those who think I really am too free, my time is pretty tied up, especially for this half of the year. Besides work which takes up a huge portion of my waking moments, I have school, which I have to attend three hours per week. I revise my lessons at least one to two hours per day. I have to do research, self-study and my own reading up, and that takes up at least another two hours per day.

I go for movies every weekend. Most of the time, I will watch two movies. If time allows, three, if not one. I do my own fair share of dating, dining out, entertaining and socialising. I chat with people online or through messages. I listen to music on my ZEN, or my Phillips three-in-one clock-radio-cd player, read whatever books I can get my hands on, surf the net, check mails, write / blog and spend time with my loved ones.

I sing three hours a week due to the church choir (used to be more when I was still under the Lyric Opera), go for mass an hour a week, and come March, will dance ballet and pilates three hours a week. Lately, I have been told I need to play for mass as well, so I need to take an hour a day practising the pieces.

Plus, I am involved in ad-hoc activities like more masses during the week during the Lenten season, meetings and activities for the church choir, and daily routines like sleeping (which I average about six to seven hours per night), eating, cleaning, shopping and travelling. So how can anyone ever say I have too much free time?

Why am I doing so many things? Because I enjoy everything I am doing. Some people asked why am I studying again, especially since I am no longer a teacher, since the course I am doing is one of the few part-time courses recognised by the Ministry? Can I not study just because I am no longer a teacher? Why can I not study just simply because I like it? Besides, this course is not exclusvely a course for teachers, unlike the one I took in NIE! So the next question will then be why I must do this course, why not more "practical" ones like Business? Because I do not have a business mind, and I love English Literature! Is there even a reason why I need to further my studies?

What about reading? I live to devour books and words. I cannot imagine my life without books. And even when I go out with my friends, or watch a book-to-screen movie, I would inadvertently compare the stories, and people around would always wonder what on earth I was talking about. Sad to say, I hardly meet people who really read. I do not mean just academic reading or comics, but real books like classics, like inspirational stories, even innocent children's books.

I cannot imagine my life without writing too. It is an outpouring of all my thoughts and feelings, especially for someone who lives more on her heart than her head. Which triggered off dislike by a lot of people, because, well, do I really have to say so much? Why not? Why can I not say so much just because some people do not like it, as long as I like it? Why must I conform to writing or blogging about mundane things just because people like it, just because then I would then put on a more positive facade instead of the uncontrollable weirdo, die-hard romantic and failure in life?

With all these, came music and movies, the former the food for the soul, and the latter, an observation of human nature and life's lessons in moving pictures. One simply cannot express the feelings after listening to a touching piece of music, or watching a great movie. I have people telling me, if I like listening to music, why not heavy metal pieces? If I like watching movies, why not slapstick comedies?

Why not? Simply because I find heavy metal music too loud and gives me a throbbing headache. Slapsticks are funny but meaningless. They do not tug at my heartstrings, unlike love songs, ballads, slow rocks, even classical and new age, or romantic comedies, historical epics, or intense dramas.

And is it absolutely necessary for me to attend church? If you have no religion, do not speak to me about not attending church. Who is to say your ways are right and my ways are wrong? I went through so much to get baptised, so never again will I take my religion for granted, which I had for a big part of my church-going life.

Then what about dance? Is it really necessary? What use would that be in my life? Must I do something just because it would be useful in my life? Can I not do something simply because I love it? Dancing is fun, it helps me keep fit and slim. I do it for the sheer purpose of enriching my life. To be really mean, I would say I prefer my life to be enriched by activities, rather than do nothing but stay home and watch television and movies, and let my brain rot and disintegrate, causing premature senility.

Yes, I have time to do all these things, because once the enjoyment is there, one will not think it a waste of time or chore to do whatever that is needed to be done. And to get as many things done as possible within the day, I normally multi-task, ie read, listen to music and exchange messages while travelling to and from work, chat, blog, net / blog surfing and checking emails simultaneously, study and write. Not the best way, but at least a good enough way to get many things done.

Now, if only there can be forty-eight hours in a day, that will be perfect indeed!

My First Assignment ....

Talk about coincidences. One of the questions in my upcoming assignment is a poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley called "Ozymandias", which happened to be the very first poem I was tested on during upper secondary Literature lessons. Luckily I still have my Literature text, so all the notes can still be used! Never heard of Percy Shelley? Surely many would have heard of his wife, Mary Shelley, the author of "Frankenstein"? She was his second wife after his first wife committed suicide after he left her. Anyway, those famous authors seemed to lead rather colourful lives.

Ozymandias (Percy Shelley)

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said : 'Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that a sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on those lifeless things,
The hand which mocked them, and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Incientally, I came across this extract from The Week (13th January 2007, page 16) that puts it so aptly why poetry (especially Shakespeare) should be appreciated :

"Wrestling with Shakespeare, Chaucer and Woodsworth has a beneficial effect on the mind, says the Sunday Telegraph. Neuro-scientists have discovered that the unusual sentence structures and obscure words contained in the words of classical writers challenge the brain, causing it to light up with electrical activity. By contrast, reading ordinary, modern text causes only normal levels of electrical activity. Brain imaging techniques showed that Shakespearean text also sparks activity across a wider area of the brain than plain text. 'The jump in activity is caused by the brain re-evaluating what it is reading,' said brain imaging expert Professor Neil Roberts. 'With a Shakespearean sentence, the brain sees it as grammatically difficult but tolerates it as making sense. It perhaps acts as a cue to the brain that there is something there that had more meaning than one meaning'."

So the conclusion? Shakespeare boosts the brain! I knew it! So I am going to start re-reading all his works again!

Fare thee well, my sweet! Thou shalt read thy works till the morrow!

Food For The Brain?

Just as music is the food for the soul (or, in the words of a certain bard "food of love", in his "night" comedy), books are the food for the brain and mind. Food we eat get digested into the stomach, we gyrate to the music, but in reading, it enriches our mind and opens our world into other things. A good book is determined by the reader not putting it down and devouring page by page, and when he / she is finally done, close the book and sigh and have all kinds of mixed feelings. That is how I usually feel when I read a real good book.

The common complaint about Singaporeans per se is that they do not read enough. When I was in school, primary through secondary, my classmates and I could actually discuss about books, recommend readings to each other and generally comparing one book to another, one author to another. Yet when I entered tertiary, I could hardly find anyone to discuss books with me. That was really disappointing as I always thought if people could score well enough to enter university, they should be rather well-read, is it not? Later am I to find out that students here are only exam-smart, but when it comes to other things, they have no idea (not all of course).

I attended another lecture earlier on. Needless to say, today's session was only half full. So close to the Chinese New Year, the Chinese themselves have other commitments than attending classes. I would not have gone except the lecture covered philosophy, Shakespeare and poetry, a few of my favourite topics, so I would never miss it for anything!

Just as well I went for classes, as in the end, I managed to get some set books for my course (which is way too advanced reading), as well as some books which are not required for my course but I got them anyway as I like the story and author. I spent close to S$400.00 on books alone! (Note to self : no more splurging for the rest of the month!) One will wonder how in the world I can get so many books, but this is nothing already. Should see me during book fairs when I could grab almost half the stock!

Anyway, here are the books, which I feel make rather good reading :

1. Snow Flower And The Secret Fan (Lisa See)
2. Top Girls (Caryl Churchill)
3. A Doll's House (Henrik Ibsen)
4. Far From The Madding Crowd (Thomas Hardy)
5. The Awakening And Other Stories (Kate Chopin)
6. The Portrait Of A Lady (Henry James)
7. Five Plays (Anton Chekhov)
8. Northanger Abbey (Jane Austen)
9. The Woman In White (Wilkie Collins)
10. Orlando (Virgina Woolf)
11. Life of Galileo (Bertolt Brecht)
12. Waiting For Godot (Samuel Beckett)
13. Prufrock And Other Observations (T. S. Eliot)
14. Table For Three : More Tales Of Saffy And Amanda (Jason Hahn)
15. The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time (Mark Haddon) - the first edition with the small red cover
16. Poirot : The Complete Ariadne Oliver (Volume 2) (Agatha Christie)
17. Poirot : Four Classic Cases (Agatha Christie)
18. The Inheritance Of Loss (Kiran Desai) - finally managed to get a copy!
19. The Diary Of Lady Murasaki (translated by Richard Bowring)
20. The Origin Of Species (Charles Darwin)
21. Animal Farm (George Orwell)
22. At First Sight (Nicholas Sparks)
23. True Believer (Nicholas Sparks)
24. The Wedding (Nicholas Sparks) - a pity I could not find "The Notebook", otherwise the set will be complete!
25. This Thing Of Darkness (Harry Thompson) - a whopping 875 pages, no less!

Just Another (V) Day ....

On Wednesday, Valentine's Day, I bumped into a girl delivering flowers to someone in my office while going out for lunch. The bouquet consisted of a few white roses, with two teddy bears - a couple. Wonder which sweet guy would send flowers all the way to the office of his desired?

Come to think of it, no one has ever sent flowers to my office before. I have received flowers at my home, just that one time, but other than that, no one had ever surprised me by sending flowers to my office. The only time someone came close to sending flowers to my office was when that person surprised me after work and came to my workplace with gifts and a big bouquet, but that was at least five years back already.

This Valentine's Day it made me reflect on how different things had become for me. For someone so romantic and idealistic, that day meant a lot to me. No doubt everyday can be a Valentine's Day, but the history of how St Valentine's Day came about is really touching and being a day set aside for lovers is a form of tribute to a martyr. So why did I end up in tears on Valentine's Day itself?

It made me reflect on what exactly is true love? Is true love only true if someone declares it without any action? Or is it only true when both parties give their all? Anyone can say he loves a person very much, that she means a lot to him, but if there is nothing to show, will there be love? Does true love mean encompassing the person as a whole, accepting everything he / she does, tolerating all the quirks and moods? But if only one person is doing that, it is lopsided, is it not?

Is the person who loves more supposed to just bear with everything no matter how the other party treats him / her then? If it is true love, should someone not feel shortchanged or frustrated at all, if he / she feels the feelings being toyed with? Would true love really be all embracing until one continues loving the person, even if he / she can or may never be hers / his? Love itself is temerarious enough as it is, yet why do the parties involved always make things more challenging and difficult?

I do not know about others, but when I give my heart, it is fully, completely, thoroughly. My heart is so small that only one person can be contained at any one time. So each time I got my heart broken, I had to wait for a new one to grow to replace it, and even then, it would never be whole as that person who broke my heart took a part of it away forever. Yet why do I always end up being the one to give totally yet never seem to get even a fraction back?

This Valentine's Day meant a lot to me, as this same day last year, someone came into my life. This same day last year, when I was dateless and alone, and moping about my fate, someone cheered me up by a series of messages, by letting me feel that I was not alone. Someone who would later have a big impact on my life, someone I was willing to fall out with my parents for, someone I would willingly run away with.

Yet, this Valentine's Day, I was dateless again. We went out the preceding Saturday, but I cannot help but feel it more meaningful to actually be out with each other on the actual day itself. I spent St Valentine eve out with my brother the whole night. How pathetic have I become, to go out with my brother for dinner and movies, instead of someone special on Valentine's eve?!

There is nothing wrong going out with my brother. Other days would not matter, but on the day (and before that) when it was supposed to be a day for lovers, my brother brought me out instead of the person I wanted so much to go out with, all the more since it was supposed to be the first Valentine's Day for us. What a twist of fate.

But I guess I have to start clearing all the cobwebs in my head, and realise that that day is nothing but just another day. Just another normal working day. Another day of toiling for my living. I can choose to live like this and continue accepting it, or I can choose to make things better. And when I think of people in other countries who are victims of natural disasters, wars and famines, it made the day more bearable, and I started to feel that what I have is actually so much more than a lot of people already.

Still, as I lie down on my bed that night, I could not help but stay up thinking and missing him, and fell asleep .... dreaming of him. And I was reminded of this song :

Dreaming Of You (Selena)

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I'd wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far, all I have are dreams of you
So, I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you (Yes, I do)

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Ahhh.... I can't stop dreaming of you
Ahhh.... I can't stop dreamin

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said, "I love you; I love you too"

Now I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room,
Dreaming with you endlessly ....

(Pre) Valentine's Date With Pitt ....

.... Peter Rabbit, and Little Children. Three great movies in a matter of days! Miss Potter (Beatrix) was a real genius, who really deserved to become so famous in literary circles. I only wish I can write and draw like her! Who can forget the cute little rabbit, with the blue coat, giving trouble to his neighbour? Or the mother duck who was looking around for a place to hatch her eggs? Or that adorable fat kitten?

Not only that, she was also a conservationist who fought to keep the beautiful scenery and farms of England's Lake District, which she considered her place of inspiration, intact! My idol! Doing things I have always cared about - writing and conservation!

Little Children and Babel are two complex, deep movies involving several people whose lives are interlocked by someone or something. In the former, a group of suburban housewives (and a househusband) lived in a neighbourhood home to a former paedophile, who was still ostracised due to his former deed. He was the main link between the main characters, as in the process of keeping their little children safe from harm, they found their lives meaningless and started an affair, but at the end went back to their respective families.

The ex-paedophile was upset due to being outcast and almost reverted to his old ways, when his mum died while defending him. His mum's last words were for him to be a good boy, so he resorted to castrating himself to stop committing the same crime. The show's message was that everyone deserved a second chance, and no matter how bleak one's life seemed, people could still survive. What was past was past, what mattered was the future, of starting over. Very meaningful and true!

In the latter show (Babel), the underlying message is that one gunshot could be heard all over the world. Everything started due to a hunting rifle. And because of this rifle, problems arose with a Moroccan farmer's family, the nomad who sold him the rifle, the Japanese ex-hunter who used to own the rifle, an American couple holidaying in Morocco, and their two young children back home in San Diego. All because of one rifle, tragedy befell several non-related people around. Something like a butterfly effect.

If not for the rifle, the two Moroccan farming boys would not have tried to "out-shoot" each other, the shot would not have hit an American lady; her husband would not have been in a frenzy trying his best to keep her alive; the tour bus would not have just dumped them in a small village and left and they would have to wait a full day for the American embassy to send a chopper to bring her to the hospital; the incident would not have been blown up into a terrorist attack and the elder Moroccan boy got shot at and the nomad who sold them the rifle got beaten up as a result; the two American children would not have been left behind in San Diego under the care of a Mexican nanny, who would not have brought them along to her son's wedding in Mexico and would not have gotten arrested while going back to the States; and the rifle would not have been traced to a Japanese guy whose deaf-mute daughter would not have been so messed up over her mum's death (as she shot herself).

The show reflected human nature at its best and worst. For some people, it needed a disaster and crisis to realise just who are most important. For others, a crisis could show the true colours - considerate and helpful, or selfish and unaccommodating. The show also showed the distinction between the American and Japanese middle-class suburbia and the Mexican and Moroccan villagers and farmers, how some people in some parts of the world can have everything, yet others seem to have nothing.

Brad Pitt seemed to have aged twenty years in the show. No doubt he is no longer that young, but in that show, he looked like he was past fifty. I still prefer him in his youthful, boyish look, like this!

Hope everyone enjoyed their Valentine's Day!