Come every eve of Lunar New Year, before the big reunion dinner (not really that big actually, just members of my own nuclear family), my family will go to the nearby Buddhist temple where my late grandfather's tablet is placed to pay their respects. Food will be cooked beforehand to be brought to the temple. At the altar, the food will be placed in front of my late grandfather's tablet, then joss sticks will be lit, and each of us will hold three joss sticks in our hands and bend our bodies to pray for my late grandfather's blessings of the year.
I have not been doing this for quite a while, praying with the joss sticks I mean. Ever since I started going to church regularly, I never touched another joss stick, or pray in a Buddhist temple. When I was with my first ex, he was such a staunch Catholic that he forbade me to even step into the temple with my parents, and I got a big scolding for being disrespectful and unfilial (as if one shows filial piety to someone by praying to his tablet?!). However, as the years progressed and I got more involved religion wise, my parents stopped asking me to pray with the joss sticks, but I still had to follow them as a form of respect. Why would it be a form of respect if I just follow them and not pray?
After praying, my parents would then burn the thin sheets of "paper money" into the bin outside. I have never really felt comfortable going to a temple. Firstly, I never understand all the chanting going on. Secondly, the smoke-filled prayer room put me off and made me start gasping for fresh air. Thirdly, I never approve of just burning paper, for whatever reason, as afterall, we need to cut down on paper usage and recycle them so as to save the trees.
Before I get hounded at being insensitive, let me clarify that I am not against the Buddhist faith. I just do not feel comfortable going to a temple. Just like there are some others who do not feel comfortable going into a church, although I must say, church-goers are at least more environmentally-friendly, as they do help in recycling things like hymn books, flyers and the misal books. Still, it is a once-a-year affair and I have to go with my parents.
My parents are not doing this for religion. They do this because it is a tradition. Come Lunar New Year, it seems to be a tradition to pay respects to those who have already gone, and all those burning of the paper is giving the departed new clothes and money to last another year. Do not ask me why this is so as I have no idea, except I know it seems to be some Chinese tradition from long long ago.
But I cannot help but feel guilty for stepping into a temple. Afterall, if I choose to be Christ's follower, am I supposed to even enter another sanctuary for some other faith, even if it is tradition? Since I have embraced Catholicism or Christianity wholeheartedly, am I supposed to do everything required of a good Christian, and forsake all my traditions? Thus, if I follow the Christian way, am I supposed to view Christmas, Good Friday and Easter as most important (which I do), but not Chinese New Year?
Today, the first day of Chinese New Year, is a Sunday. I have to go visiting in the morning. I am supposed to sing for mass in the evening, but as it is, I am not sure if I can make it as my parents may want to bring us visiting around that time. So will I be sinning by not going to church because I need to uphold the Lunar New Year tradition of visiting relatives? At times I seriously wonder how to balance between tradition and religion, whether to swing one way or the other way.
I have not been doing this for quite a while, praying with the joss sticks I mean. Ever since I started going to church regularly, I never touched another joss stick, or pray in a Buddhist temple. When I was with my first ex, he was such a staunch Catholic that he forbade me to even step into the temple with my parents, and I got a big scolding for being disrespectful and unfilial (as if one shows filial piety to someone by praying to his tablet?!). However, as the years progressed and I got more involved religion wise, my parents stopped asking me to pray with the joss sticks, but I still had to follow them as a form of respect. Why would it be a form of respect if I just follow them and not pray?
After praying, my parents would then burn the thin sheets of "paper money" into the bin outside. I have never really felt comfortable going to a temple. Firstly, I never understand all the chanting going on. Secondly, the smoke-filled prayer room put me off and made me start gasping for fresh air. Thirdly, I never approve of just burning paper, for whatever reason, as afterall, we need to cut down on paper usage and recycle them so as to save the trees.
Before I get hounded at being insensitive, let me clarify that I am not against the Buddhist faith. I just do not feel comfortable going to a temple. Just like there are some others who do not feel comfortable going into a church, although I must say, church-goers are at least more environmentally-friendly, as they do help in recycling things like hymn books, flyers and the misal books. Still, it is a once-a-year affair and I have to go with my parents.
My parents are not doing this for religion. They do this because it is a tradition. Come Lunar New Year, it seems to be a tradition to pay respects to those who have already gone, and all those burning of the paper is giving the departed new clothes and money to last another year. Do not ask me why this is so as I have no idea, except I know it seems to be some Chinese tradition from long long ago.
But I cannot help but feel guilty for stepping into a temple. Afterall, if I choose to be Christ's follower, am I supposed to even enter another sanctuary for some other faith, even if it is tradition? Since I have embraced Catholicism or Christianity wholeheartedly, am I supposed to do everything required of a good Christian, and forsake all my traditions? Thus, if I follow the Christian way, am I supposed to view Christmas, Good Friday and Easter as most important (which I do), but not Chinese New Year?
Today, the first day of Chinese New Year, is a Sunday. I have to go visiting in the morning. I am supposed to sing for mass in the evening, but as it is, I am not sure if I can make it as my parents may want to bring us visiting around that time. So will I be sinning by not going to church because I need to uphold the Lunar New Year tradition of visiting relatives? At times I seriously wonder how to balance between tradition and religion, whether to swing one way or the other way.
8 comments:
"So will I be sinning by not going to church because I need to uphold the Lunar New Year tradition of visiting relatives?"
Dear girl,
no, you don't have to worry about that. Follow your parents to visit. It is not a sin not to go & sing at mass although, it is an obligation to your church & you should make known to your church should you not be able to go as soon as possible.
Traditions in itself has no harm as long as one does not practise it as if it's a ritual.
I know there is fine line to that & although I can't say very much myself, I do know one thing - do what you believe is the right thing. Read up books or articles regarding such topics. Talk to your pastor (or in your case, priest?) & find out what's God stand on such things & how you can manage that.
I know how that feels because I used to feel conflicted & guilty too.
I had a difficult time when my grandma passed away last yr. I refused to carry joss sticks & take off my shoes. My relatives naturally weren't pleased. Such rituals mean something, so I choose to refrain from doing stuff like that. However, different christians may tell you different things. In this case, you'll need to find out more & discern for yourself what to choose to honor God.
Hope this helps somewhat. ^_^
Hi Tammy, thanks for your insightful feedback on this. I always feel conflicted, torn between what I believe in and what I need to do. What you said really helps and clears up some doubts. Thanks so much!
U're welcome!
Respecting other faiths and traditions can be tricky - especially if those around you insist on scrupulous adherence to "form". Personally, I see no problem in entering a Buddhist temple. I also see no problem in praying before your grandfather's tablet. Not even in using joss sticks.
Am I heretical? No. I feel it is important to adapt to the culture and the norms, but without giving up your dignity and faith. If it was me, I would go and pray as a Christian for the repose of the soul of my grandfather. I would regard the joss sticks and the burning of paper money as cultural differences. For example, some cultures eat with chop sticks, does that mean that as a Westerner, I will insist on a Christian fork and knife? In other cultures (Ethiopian), they do not use utensils, you tear off pieces from a large flat bread (injera) and use that to scoop and pick up food. Other cultures regard the use of the left hand as dirty when eating (so I use my right hand).
Hi Richard, can't help but wanna comment... "For example, some cultures eat with chop sticks, does that mean that as a Westerner, I will insist on a Christian fork and knife?" I do believe that eating with chopsticks or whatever cutlery is not part of religion & hence this is not using the right comparative. Nor does the bible insists that we use hands to eat. God has nothing to say regarding the use of cutlery but a lot to say on what we do, like joss sticks & stuff.
There is a reason behind but as I am not a theologian, I shall not be presumptuous to convince you of it. However, as it is your opinion, it would be helpful to keep it neutral, otherwise this would probably spark off another debate in the comments column.
My 1 cent worth. If this jars you, pls ignore it.
anonymous: I am not upset. I recognized the potential of my comment to spark intense debate. A little background on myself. I am a Christian, have been for 41 years. I have always been faithful and never experienced any periods of falling out with faith. I practice in the Roman Catholic tradition (which is enough for some to accuse me of being a non-Christian right there) and always have. I would be generally described as extremely conservative (more catholic than the pope) by most Catholics and overly liberal by the conservatives.
Praying for the dead has a long tradition in the Catholic church (also the Orthodox and Coptic - churches which split from the Catholic church 1000 and 1500 years ago, respectively – so the traditions go back a long, long time).
I did not suggest for Celia to worship as a Buddhist, but to honour her ancestor as a Christian. I see no problem in using the accoutrements of Buddhism if that is the local tradition. Clearly, she cannot do something that is in conflict with her own faith.
I can see some people getting hot and bothered because of the "appearance" of idolatry or acceptance of false ways (incidentally, Buddhism is an Atheistic religion, since there is no God, so one could hardly be accused of worshipping a false God). It is something Celia would have to be careful about, but, on the other hand, people have a responsibility to use a little bit of intelligence and understand what is happening.
For a long time, cremation was forbidden by the church because it was used by deniers of the resurrection as proof against the resurrection: "Oh look! The body is all burnt up. Now there can be no resurrection." It was only forbidden for reasons of appearance, not for reasons of faith. I prefer to go on faith and not appearance.
People who follow rules for the sake of following rules, "Well, it's the rule," really irritate me. I prefer people live and breath Truth from their hearts rather than painting themselves the colour they think Truth is.
Thanks for all the insights. Its a real thin line between doing what is religiously right, and what is traditionally right. And in most cases, especially for those from conservative Chinese families, tradition and religion always conflict. One is often torn between doing what the Heavenly Father requires, and what our earthly parents require.
But I agree with Richard that sometimes, one should not follow the rules just for the sake of following the rules. Afterall, rules are but just words, humans are alive and able to think for themselves (hopefully). Sometimes it may not be fully right just blindly following the rules, whereas other times it may not be totally wrong bending the rules a little.
I guess the trick is to learn how to balance, and that is something that is complicated.
My late addition.
Religion is mostly about personal faith to me. It is interesting that Buddhism can be seen as an Atheistic religion because in general, they seek self-enlightenment rather than depend on external sources. I am under the impression that Buddhism is categorized under Polytheism.
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