Yearning For Motherhood

For the past two days, I would drop by the hospital next to my office to visit my friend who just gave birth. Her baby is so adorable! I can look at her for the whole day and not get tired! Today, I had the priviledge of seeing the nurse teaching the parents how to shower the baby. Tender loving care needs to be taken into account when handling a baby. It is really not easy taking care of a baby, besides carrying the baby for all those months.

 

After seeing this, I can finally understand my mum a lot more, on how much she did for us, how she took care of us, how much she had to put up with. Imagine you give birth to a child, take care of the child, raise the child, and the child later turns around and be rebellious and upset you. As a parent, it can really be very hurtful.

 

As a parent, one really gives the best to the child, especially in terms of education, religion, values. It makes me wonder why did some people give birth only to abandon their own children, or neglect the children? If I have my own child, I would want to spend all my time looking at him, teaching him, taking care of him, and worry about him.

 

Seeing the new parents with the adorable baby, it really makes me yearn to have my own child. Now that our government is finally letting single, unmarried women who got pregnant for whatever reason and who wants to keep the baby, go on maternity leave, I am just so tempted to have a child of my own. So even if I do not get married or if I get married and for some reason he is not able to give me children, I can still have a child of my own.

 

But who am I kidding? My mum will kill me if I even think about having a kid out of wedlock. Our society (as in this country) will turn its nose up at me. I will be judged and ostracised because it is still taboo for an unmarried woman to have a child out of wedlock, even though this is so pronounced in a lot of other countries. Not to mention it is against my religious values.

 

I guess I have to wait until I am married then. But by then can I still conceive? As in will I still be biologically able to conceive since I am close to the age of higher risk? I really do hope so, because I really want so much to be a wife and mother, and I truly hope and pray that God can at least grant me this wish!