Gay... And Loving It!

I came across two guys whom I suspected are "not that straight" yesterday. They look to be in their late thirties to early forties. They sat opposite me while I was having lunch. They were wearing matching tops and carrying backpacks. Each had a ring on the left fourth finger.

When one went to buy food, the other sat down and waited. When he came back, the other one went to buy drinks and then his food. They shared drinks (in separate cups from the same can) and even laughed over a message sent to one of them!

The thing is, they do not look like they are so lovey-dovey, yet why do I have the impression they are in love, albeit of the same gender? But seeing them makes me feel warm-hearted, because even though they are both of the same gender, the comfort level and camaraderie they shared with each other can exceed any normal couple in love.

So it is true. Love does occur - no matter what shape, size and colour. And love itself, does conquer all!

Morons ...

Politics is abundant in every company. There will always be a couple of morons who treat others as a laughingstock. Little did they know they make laughingstocks of themselves.

As far as I am concerned, to me office means work. I do not go all out to suck up to others just to make them like me. I get my work done, my deadlines are met, the boss is happy, that is all that matters. I do not need to get approval for whatever non-work related affairs.

Neither do I go around carrying tales to others. As long as their supervisors know what they are doing, it is none of my concern what they do in the office. Hence I do not bother others and I do not expect them to bother me.

So when people start commenting how come I am always so free that I can go off at six everyday and how come my boyfriend is always so free to come wait for me, it really irritates me to no end. In the first place, I go off at six, not as if I go off at three! Besides when everyone else was streaming into the office at half-past nine, I was already in the office at half-past eight in the morning.

I spend the day working, meeting deadlines. I end my work at almost six. I have night classes to attend and now I have a grandma in the hospital. I did not even ask to take time off for anything, even when I came back from an intensive retreat! I do not spend the time talking bad about others.

So I have every right to go off on the dot once my work is done! My boyfriend happens to work near me so he drops by to wait for me then we go off together. Is it my problem if some people are not as fast or efficient? Or their other halves do not pick them up after work? Or they spend the time gossiping about others, come in late in the morning then grumble when they need to work late, yet begrudge others from being able to leave early?

But when these gossips turn to personal attacks, it really gets a bit out of hand. I have no idea how people came to the conclusion that I do not shower or wash my hair just because I have had a few bad hair days! What business is it of anyone how many times I shower or wash my hair or whether I shower or wash my hair everyday?

Then I heard someone said I must be a glutton because when I first joined the firm about a year back I was slimmer than now. Yes I know that! I am trying to cut down! But what business is it of anyone whether I eat a lot or not?

The worst thing is that some people said now I am attached all the more I must maintain otherwise my boyfriend will run away! Even if he does, why would it be anyone's concern? And if he really runs away just because I bulked up, then he is not worth it in the first place!

As far as I am concerned, my boss had not much issue with my work. That is all I am concerned about. I do not need to slim down nor change a hairstyle nor deliberately go home late just to please others. I have things to do outside of work too, I do not have the time to bother about trivial matters.

And if these few morons take the time to do their work instead of gossiping and scrutinizing others with a microscopic view, then I am pretty sure they will have the time to finish their work and go off on time!

Which is why I call them morons!

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First Follow-Up

The first follow-up last Sunday for the recent retreat went pretty well. Being so close to Easter, quite a few could not make it due to their own parish activities so there were not as many people who came as expected. Still it was a good gathering.

We (the presenters) went earlier for lunch and did the evaluation of the participants for the weekend. It was during the evaluation that they sieved out who could be immediate presenters or potential future presenters.

The participants came later on. We got them involved in an activity on groups while we facilitated. After that someone read an inspiring story and then the eating and mingling began!

There would be at least one or two more follow-ups. Each one will have a different activity. It was really great getting some together. Now I am really looking forward to the next follow-up where more will turn up!

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Another Weekend Of Feasting!

It was another busy weekend of socializing and eating. Can you see why my weight is fluctuating?

On Saturday night, some friends and I went to Dallas Restaurant for a birthday dinner. It was to celebrate the birthday of my dear and another friend.

My dear is so lucky! He had three birthday celebrations this year! The first was at The White Rabbit two weeks back, second was a little celebration with the participants during the retreat last week, and the third was on Saturday!

But I would recommend Dallas. It serves American food, a little cosy restaurant that is very nice for small intimate gatherings. The food is great with quite big servings and the pricing is pretty reasonable as well. Comparatively The White Rabbit is more expensive with smaller portions, even though the ambience is just as cosy.

On Sunday we had more food at the first follow-up post-weekend. Almost everyone brought something and we had a feast of cakes, cupcakes, muffins, puffs, anything with sugar!

Every little session is to do with food. No wonder eating is considered our national pastime!

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U.S.S.R.

When I was in primary school, the education ministry launched the U.S.S.R. Programme for schools. What, you may ask, is the U.S.S.R. Programme? In those days we knew U.S.S.R. as the Union of Soviet Socialist Republic.

So our education ministry, in a bid to improve our reading scores and encourage students to read and improve their English, incorporated the Uninterrupted Silent Sustained Reading into the curriculum, where students had to spend at least fifteen minutes of pre-assembly time reading a book, and one whole period during the teachers' contact time reading. In my school, those without a book would be warned. Three warnings would warrant a punishment. Hence U.S.S.R.

But judging from the number of people who actually read or are well-versed in books nowadays, somehow I feel this U.S.S.R. Programme is not that successful. I hardly meet people who read, at least not locals. The books in our libraries and bookshops are pretty run-of-the-mill and not that many variety. I guess that cannot be helped because the locals here are only interested in certain genres, hence I hardly ever find some books I really want.

On the other hand, at the eatery where my brother works, it happens to be where the Caucasians stay and visit frequently, so their mini library is filled with books written by Maxine Hong-Kingston, Somerset Maugham, Conn IgGulden to name a few - books which I hardly find in local libraries and bookstores! Imagine a small eatery with just a little shelf can contain much better books than a big bookstore!

Come to think of it, I hardly have time to do real U.S.S.R. ever since I finished school. And that was so long back. Think we should all incorporate U.S.S.R. into our lives so we can make it a point to set aside some time every day to do sone real reading!

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A "Nightmare" On My Street

For some reason, I had a nightmare last night. Perhaps I should not say "nightmare" because to many others, I may probably be kicking up a fuss over something trivial but it is a dream, if it ever come true, is many girls' worst nightmare!

Too many things give me bad dreams lately! Wonder if it is due to the massive multi-tasking I have been doing the past few weeks? But then again, how can I be considered "multi-tasking" if I am letting so many things fall behind?

It is true indeed that the older one gets, the more tired and less energetic one gets! No wonder people always say have to be young to do many things. But I let the opportunity slip so now I am trying to make up for lost time!

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Attending A Dinner And Dance

I have not gone for any Dinner and Dance for quite some time. Nowadays quite a few companies are doing away with the traditional concept of "dinner and dance" (what dance? There is only dinner since everyone starts to leave after the last course without staying to dance!) and organise activities like Amazing Race or Festive Gathering in lieu of a dinner and dance.

Last night's Dinner and Dance was for his company and I went along as partner. The theme was "Movie Night" but no one, except for one table, dressed according to the theme. Everyone else was in normal office wear. I wonder why?

The best-dressed table rented costumes and dressed according to the theme of "The Last Emperor" in full Qing dynasty royal regalia! I wore my yellow evening gown which Kate Hudson wore to "How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days" complete with sparkling jewellery and he wore a suit a la Matthew McConaughy (but Matthew McConaughy carried it off better! ;-p).

It was a normal dinner (sans the dance) with table games, lucky draws and live band made up of some of the employees. There were movie quizzes on theme songs and quotes. Although the songs and quotes were from popular movies. To make it challenging, the quizzes should consist of songs and quotes from lesser-known movies or shows which not many will like to watch.

Even when the band was playing and the floor was opened for dance, no one made a move. We wanted so much to dance and swayed to the music being played but we did not wish to be the only two "idiots" dancing and swaying so continued sitting at our table in the end.

All in all, it was fun. The best part was the Master of Ceremonies who happened to be a rather prominent performing artiste here. I love his sense of humour and his fantastic one-man-show! I wish I can hire him to be a Master of Ceremonies in some events too, but I am pretty sure his charges are ske high!

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My First As An Observer

It had been one great weekend! Initially I was nervous about fumbling while I presented. But when I started, I just kept going, without much fumbling. I presented on the first night and the last day, and when one of the participants came to me and asked to talk to me regarding my talk, saying she was inspired and liked my talk, it made me feel really good! Good because I did inspire someone, and that is an affirmation that what I am doing can help others!

First time as a presenter enabled me to experience the whole weekend over again. While sitting in for the other talks and going into groups and hearing the sharings by the presenters, made me reinforce that I should practice what I preach (or am preaching), that I myself should also keep practising to become a better person. The whole retreat reminded me the mistakes which I or anyone else would commonly make, and how to overcome those.

Now if only I can be called as a presenter officially, then I can truly experience the whole weekend all over again and be more reminded of the things I ought and ought not to do! Presenting and facilitating and mingling with the participants make me feel so warm and good all over, that I hope that I can help them in whatever small way I can!

Distressed ....

I know I am falling behind again, but it had been one thing after another. To top it off, my paternal grandma has been hospitalised. She fell last Tuesday evening at home and my mum rushed her to the hospital on Wednesday. We went to visit her last Wednesday and she was fine, still able to recognise us and talk to us. She was supposed to be discharged last Sunday.

I was away at the retreat for the weekend. When I returned on Sunday night, my grandma was still not back. I found out she was suddenly in critical condition on Sunday. So the doctor had to keep her in for a few more days. She was alright on Sunday night. I went to see her the past two days and she was still alright.

Now I am praying and keeping my fingers crossed that nothing would happen! My grandma has always been healthy and strong. She can still walk around steadily without the help of anyone, and can still go about her daily functions even at this age of almost ninety-eight years. She can still eat three meals a day and go to the bathroom as per normal.

If I ever reach that age, I wish to be just as healthy as well! This is the grandma that has been staying at my house ever since I was born. She helped to take care of me when I was young and always advised me whenever my mum and I used to have our arguments. I really wish nothing will happen and she can come back and live with us again as normal!

Off To Be An Observer!

So tonight is the night when I debut my talk. I will be doing the first talk and the second last talk, so it will be tonight and Sunday morning. Which means I will just be sitting around, observing the other talks and helping to facilitate the discussion sessions. Saturday will normally be the most intensive yet most intimate session, so the presenters who are doing the talks for Saturday are really the inspiring ones. Their talks normally touch people.

I must say, I am quite nervous how the weekend will turn out. What if I did not do a good job? What if I get bad feedback? What if I get dropped before I even started? Of course being the first time in anything, anyone tends to be nervous.

I hope this will be a good weekend though. That I can learn from the participants as well as they can learn from me. With this, I look forward to the weekend and hope I will come back a new person after that!

The Battle Of The Coffee-Maker!

Some of you may know I have shifted office last November. My company used to have two offices, but since November, all have merged into one office. In my current (new) office, there are two sections - the one on the left belongs to the old office for the existing staff already there, the one on the right is the newly-renovated office for those that just moved in, with the reception counter in the middle, between the two sides.

Late last year, the pantry of the old office underwent a renovation. Now that pantry is twice the size of the pantry of the new office (the side where I am at). Because of that, the coffee-maker and everything else shifted to the new (big) pantry, leaving us to make do with just a flask, kettle and water cooler in our (small) pantry.

Recently, the office manager bought a new coffee-maker and put it in the small pantry. It makes sense because both our Chief Executive Officer and Chief Finance Officer are in the new office. But some people protested. They said the pantry at the old office underwent a renovation, so how can we use the new coffee-maker? We should take the old coffee-maker and shift the new one to that side!

Of course, there are other people who said why must everything new belong to the big pantry? Are we not entitled to anything too? It is more fair if we take the new coffee-maker since we already do not have a new big pantry.

Then they went on to battle about the variety of tea the small pantry has. There are four varieties of tea, whereas in the big pantry, there is only one type of tea. So people then said how come we have so many varieties of tea whereas they only have one? Erh.. we have so many because people actually buy from overseas and put it in the pantry for everyone to use?

The nature of people really sickens me at times. Instead of real work issues, people in the same office argue about trivial things like this! To me, does it matter which coffee-maker, which pantry, how much tea you have? If people want anything, they are free to come to the small pantry to use the products, just like how we used to go to the big pantry to use the utensils, yet no one complained about that!

Three's A Crowd

Two's company, three's a crowd. Or so the saying says. In the past couple of weeks, there is some "big" news going around on how a prominent media figure here cheated on his wife with a girl his daughter's age, and the girl went to the house and confronted the wife. Upon digging, it was found that he could have or had sexually harassed or made advances to eleven other girls around that age.

Actually, it is his own personal affair. Yes, he had an affair, yes, he deserved to be cursed at, yes, his wife was the victim. But why blow it all up? Perhaps there are no other sensational news around, hence everyday, the newspapers carry front page tales on how many girls he had and their stories.

Perhaps the girls in question take this opportunity to find some fame. Afterall, if one is suddenly in the limelight, many other opportunities come knocking. But how long can this last? A year? But someone's reputation and career will go downhill. You chose to be with him, you know he is married, so when things start happening, why turn so bitter? There is no need to ruin someone else's life.

I know I am not the best person to say this, but precisely because I have been through similar situations, hence I know how it is like. If you are the "other woman" so to speak, no one will pity you. People will judge you and label you a house breaker. Despite the fact that the guy can talk ten to the dozen that he is single and he only loves you and no one else, the woman still gets the blame.

I always wonder why? Why must the woman be the one to bear the brunt of the guy's infidelity? If he did not make advances to her, making her fall for him, none of the mess would have happen. Do people think most of us are born to be sluts? We are also brought up knowing what to do what not to do, but when the men are the ones who cheat and create the mess, why can they get away scot-free and the woman the one to get blamed?

Still, that is not to say you have every right to confront the wife and ruin the whole family. What was essentially a matter between two parties, become now a matter of three parties and the world. Is that really necessary?

That is why for a long period of time I tend not to trust men anymore. How would I know their real status? Men can hide their status and think no one will find out. Some are attached, some married with kids, yet they go around claiming they are single, behaving as if they really are single. Afterall, if one has a family, how could he then have so much time to spend with you?

I am not saying the woman is not at fault. If she knows he is married or attached, then do not step in and try to break others up. But what if she does not know? What if the man lies about his status? What if the man has a wife, and mistress, and still fools around? In this case, if the girl is not in the know, is she really to be blamed?

Precisely because the girl is always the one who is blamed which is why she is the one under more scrutiny and finger-pointing, and the scumbug of a man thinks he can get away scot-free since no one will blame him. What rubbish! Most troubles occur because the men go fooling around and have fun and think they can get away with it!

Eating The White Rabbit

On Saturday, we went for dinner at The White Rabbit. I have long wanted to try this place after hearing reviews of it. The White Rabbit is actually converted from an old chapel. That whole area used to be owned by the British army, so consist of British barracks. But those barracks have since been converted to eating places, where now the yuppies hang out for food and drinks and where you can find some of the best places for fine dining.

When I stepped in, I realise why The White Rabbit is a popular place for wedding ceremonies. The church ambience and stained glass windows are still around. There an enclave which used to be an altar. It is not too big as well, just enough for a hundred people. The places makes a nice and cosy venue for intimate weddings.

The food is not too bad. It is mostly modern European fare of pasta, macaroni and cheese and appetisers of finger food. The surrounding areas are grassy and makes a nice scenery out of a movie. The alfresco bar, called the Rabbit Hole, is a great place to chill out for drinks after a good dinner.

It was a nice dinner overall. The staff was helpful and the service was good. After that, we all went to the Wine Cellar for drinks and supper. It was a great night of feasting!

Giselle - A Ballet In Two Parts

I am never a fan of the ballet "Giselle". I always prefer "The Nutcracker" and "Swan Lake", the two very famous ballets worldwide. Those two are the equivalent of operas whereas "Giselle" to me is the equivalent of an operatta, the former on a bigger scale and the latter on a smaller scale.

But still, it is a good ballet performance. Hence we went to watch it on the last day of its run. And it exceeded my expectations! I find it even better than "Swan Lake" and "The Nutcracker"! Even though it is a ballet performance, the dancers danced a story. One can even feel all the emotions of love lost, hurt, betrayal and fear.

Giselle is the story of this peasant girl, whose mother made wine. It was summer and the whole village was off to the vineyards to pick grapes for making wine. In comes this Count who disguised himself as a peasant. He fell in love with Giselle and she reciprocated his feelings too.

Giselle had a suitor who was jealous of the newcomer. One day, he accidentally stumbled upon the sword of the Count, bearing the royal crest and went to expose his identity. The Count himself was already engaged to a lady of nobility, who came to the village looking for him. Giselle was heart-broken when she found out and died of a broken heart.

The next scene showed the poor villager at Giselle's grave. It was late at night and he was afraid of the ghosts. There was a saying in the village that when a girl died of a broken heart, her spirit would come back as a vengeful ghost. At this part, the ballerinas were able to just tiptoe and pointe around. Amazing! I always wondered how they managed to balance without falling?

All the spirits came out to dance. The Count, remorseful, went to cry at Giselle's grave. She had become a spirit. But their love was so strong that none of the spirits could touch him, so the Count and the spirit of Giselle danced together.

Morning came and the spirits had to go. Giselle had no choice but to bid her lover a tearful goodbye. Hence ended the ballet on a touching note.

The Singapore Dance Theatre outdid themselves again! I am sure going to support more of their productions! Now I only hope the next upcoming one will be just as good!

Up In The Air

This was also supposed to be up last week but between writing my talks, studies, work and lesson planning, I am falling behind in a lot of things.

In any case, this is a good show on its own. It is not a comedy nor a romance. It is also not exactly drama too. It is about how a high-flying single man who aims to earn ten million flying miles. In the process he cut himself away from his family, becomes self-centred and just wants to be a loner.

Because of the people he meets on his journeys, he starts to discover more of himself and what he wants. Due to this he realises there are other people besides himself in the world. He starts to help others for a change.

The last part of the show is quite inspiring. The whole movie is like a one man's journey of self-discovery. Pretty refreshing!

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An Alternative Wonderland

This was supposed to be up last week but I had been busy hence did not really pen it down. I had been looking forward to watching the show "Alice In Wonderland" ever since I came across the posters last year. Plus it is by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp, so it would be a show not to be missed.

So we went to catch it last week. And I was not disappointed. Granted the storyline deviates from the book, but which film adaptation actually follows the book? The screen writers always have to either summarize or dramatise some scenes and change the ending.

The show is on a young adult Alice who went back to Wonderland. She had forgotten her childhood dream and fantasy but her friends in Wonderland had not forgotten her.

Of course there are the characters of the White Rabbit, Dormouse, March Hare, Blue Caterpillar smoking, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the Queen of Hearts (the Red Queen) with "Off with their heads", the Knave of Hearts and the frog footmen who stole the Queen's tarts.

And there is the croquet playing with a flamingo and a hedgehog. As well as the tea that makes you smaller and the cake that makes you bigger. And the Jabberwocky.

And of course, there is the Mad Hatter with the Mad Tea Party. The Hatter really stole the show! Only Johnny Depp can play this kind of roles! Somehow he just plays them to perfection! One can never imagine anyone else playing the kind of roles he played!

In short, even though the story deviates a bit, this is a very good adaptation of a classic tale loved by children and adults everywhere. Really worth watching!

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Third Presenter's Meeting

So the final workshopping has concluded and everyone is ready for the weekend (I hope!). I must say I am excited yet nervous about the upcoming weekend. What if I fumble?

The session just now was great but solemn. We had a final run through of some of the talks, then there was mass. Normally before every weekend there would be a pre-weekend mass but so far none of the priests were free hence the workshoppers only did a prayer. This time round, it was the first time there actually was a mass.

So that is it! About three more days to the weekend! I hope and pray that everything is well!

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The Stations Of The Cross

I was supposed to conduct the lesson on the Stations of the Cross today, but since I myself know nothing much about it, one of my fellow cathechists conducted the lesson on my behalf.

I never really know much about the Stations of the Cross except one Good Friday mass where we had to kneel many times. After that I was informed that the Stations of the Cross are the long steps Jesus took while carrying the cross before He was finally crucified on the hill.

But it was only these few days when I was researching on how to conduct the lesson that I start to really understand why the Stations are so important especially during Lent and Good Friday.

From the time Jesus was condemned to die, to when Veronica helped him, to Simon helping him, all the way until he was crucified, there were seventeen stations.

Every Lenten season and Good Friday, the priests and altar boys will do the Stations of the Cross every step of the way from the entrance to the altar without faltering.

I never really know the symbolism until now! This is the most solemn part of the entire Lent and Good Friday! This Good Friday, I am going to reflect on the full message and actually pay attention to the Stations of the Cross instead of feeling impatient over the long mass!

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Second Presenter's Meeting

I had the second workshopping last night. We made quite a lot of progress. Our talks are essentially done, with just the last workshopping and pre-weekend mass on Tuesday, and everything is set for the weekend next week!

Last week at the first workshopping, I did one talk which I was asked to convert to another topic. So I did that and last night, I gave my amended talk. After the feedback I need to edit my talk again.

I also did two more talks. It was really a great enriching experience learning from the more seasoned presenters. I am sure looking forward to the weekend!

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Working On A New Project

I was supposed to update this space earlier but was caught up with so many things this week. It is audit season again and everyone is on their toes at work.

Then I have to re-write my talks for the presentation. Not only that, I was nursing a body ache for the week.

And also, I am in the midst of a little project of my own, which is almost done and which I will disclose later on.

In any case, I foresee a great weekend ahead. More posts will come soon, that I promise.

Meanwhile enjoy your weekend!

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The Glass I Want

For those of you who have asked what kind of glass I am looking for, here it is! It looks like a classic simple kind of glass, but it is so hard to find! So far I can only see it in some restaurants and hotels where they serve water and juice in, or in television commercials for milk and juice.

This is the kind of glass I like - the classic kind, tall, slim and quaint! Not too broad and not too small!

Branded ... Or Not?

Some guys I know gripe about girls being too brand conscious and deem them as "high maintenance" and not a good "wife material".

What exactly is a good "wife material" anyway? Someone demure and soft-spoken who lets the guy do anything he pleases? What makes anyone think that a more intelligent, capable girl who stands firm to her beliefs and speaks her mind will not be a good wife?

Besides, if a man can spend thousands just on a camera and more on lens, why kick up a fuss when a woman spends a few hundred on bags, shoes, clothes and makeup? If the woman is able to afford it, why the issue?

Personally, I do not really care for brands. Of course I do have a few branded products like a Prada bag, Prada wallet, Levis jeans and several pairs of branded sunglasses.

But I do not nor can afford to buy branded products all the time. That is not to say I shun them though. In certain aspects, the brands do speak. Yes, a Louis Vuitton costs a bomb but the original workmanship and details are far more superior than a cheap knock-off. You buy one original it can practically last you for a lifetime.

That does not apply to cosmetics though. Contrary to what many think, the more expensive the brand is, it does not mean the products are necessarily better.

I have used common brands like Maybelline, ZA, Loreal and Revlon, as well as upmarket brands like Estee Lauder, Lancome and Clinique. My first choice? Still Maybelline, followed by ZA.

I may be biased but I base my judgement on lipsticks, lipglosses, mascaras and face powder - products I use the most. My lips tend to be dry so the lip products should not cause them to be parched.

My lashes are short so the mascara should really curl the lashes and not smudge the eyelids even after using an eyelash curler. And I have quite a unique skin colour tone so the powder cannot be too dark nor light.

So far after trying on the various brands, Maybelline lip products and mascaras still win hands down! The lipsticks and lipglosses actually moisturise my lips and keep them supple and glossy.

The mascara does not clump or smudge yet make my lashes fuller and more sultry. ZA's face powder is the only one that actually fades into my skin.

In comparison, the lip products of the upmarket brands tend to be drying, sometimes even causing my lips to be parched. The mascaras clump and smudge.

The face powders are a shade too light and make me look like a ghost sometimes. So who says the more expensive the better?

One thing which I will not spend so much on is shoes. Face it, when you put them on your feet, does anyone actually notice? Does anyone even know you are wearing a seven-hundred dollar pair of Ferragamos or a fifty-dollar pair of Charles and Keith? If you wear them often, they are going to be worn out quickly and then you have to replace them every few months.

That is not to say I just buy shoes off the shelf like that. I do believe in quality and comfort especially since I will be walking in them. So my shoes have to be fitting, round tip and open toe.

My feet are broad hence I cannot wear any pointy tipped shoes. My toes tend to clump together causing discomfort and blisters hence I cannot wear anything close toe. Thus all pointy tipped pumps are out.

Which is why my shoes are always open toe ones. Plus my feet are small so it is even harder to find the perfect pair of shoes. At times you find the perfect pair but the colour and price may not suit you.

Still I do have a few brands I like. Hush Puppies and Charles and Keith are my favourites. The shoes are nice, comfortable and not that pricey. For sports Nike is always the best. One should not save on sports shoes as the right pair does make a difference when you are running around or exercising.

For travelling and outdoor, Timberland boots are the best. Yes they cost a bit but they last a long time and can withstand rain, snow, sand, in short, all weathers. Get a good pair and you need not get another for the next decade.

Still that is not to say I do not like branded products. Like a typical girl, I do enjoy the occassionally indulgence. If you are in the mood and it is within your means, why not? Everyone deserves to pamper themselves once in a while.

So I, too, hope to own a Louis Vuitton or Coach or Kate Spade or Gucci bag or wallet one day, as well as Ferragamo or Jimmy Choo shoes. And yes, Tiffany diamond jewellery and a Vera Wang gown as well!

The Great Cycling Challenge

I have never woken up so early on a Sunday, or any other day at that! But today was an exception. It was the day which I had been training so hard for for the past three months. After all the falling, bumping, wobbling and coaching, I thought finally I was ready.

I woke up at four in the morning just to catch the transport at five. When we reached the destination, due to road closure, the coach dropped us off at the expressway and we had to unload the bikes and cycled in.

Despite the crowd of people, I managed to cycle in fuss-free. We took the coach at five in the morning and it reached around half past five, just nice for those taking the forty kilometres to get ready. My event started at half past seven, so we sat down somewhere to relax.

Around half past six, I did a trial run and found my bicycle wobbly. How could it be again? So we brought it to the repair counter where they removed the basket and tightened the screw on my handle (again!).

By seven we were already at the starting point. We were one of the earlier ones to be at the starting point. I sat on my bicycle and balanced it without my hands and it was alright.

Five minutes to flag off, we got into position. The moment we were told to go, everyone started pedaling. I was able to cruise around without a glitch too.

Then it happened. Just past the starting point, the confounded handle finally gave way and the bicycle went in all directions! I swerved left and right and almost collided with the people around me! I expect they must have cursed and swore at me!

I am no professional hence I cannot cycle without the handle. Thus I have to drop out before I even kind of started. What a bummer!

Later on when I examined my bicycle, I notice that where everyone else's bicycles are able to stand horizontal (with just a bit movement of the handle), my bicycle actually stood at ninety degrees! For some reason, the handle just cannot remain straight! That explains the constant wobbliness!

Oh well, there is always next year. Hope I will do better next time round!

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Through A Glass Darkly

I am not referring to a book but a kind of glass. I have been fascinated with that kind of glass since I was very young but my parents use only mugs and not glasses.

What kind of glass? Contrary to what some think, it is not any special or limited edition kind of glass. It is just a normal glass. You know those kind of glasses always featured in picture books to teach children the alphabet?

That is the kind of glass I am looking for. Ever since as far back as I could remember, I have seen those kind of glasses being used in television commercials for milk and orange juice advertisements. Drama serials also use those kind of glasses in restaurant scenes for water and juice.

A few years back, I finally found it in a department store. I was so excited! Instead of buying a whole set like most people, I bought just one.

I was so happy! I thought at last, I could finally own that glass where I can drink milk or orange juice in. Unfortunately my grandma used it to drink water the next day and it slipped out of her hands and broke just like that.

What a heartache! Just when I finally found the kind of glass I was looking for, it broke before I even used it! I had been fascinated with that kind of glass for a long time yet I never had the chance to use it!

Now I am still in search of that glass. I have yet to find the perfect glass. But I am not despairing as I believe it can be found one day! And when that happens, no one else but myself can use it!

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Cycling Dry Run

I did it! I actually cycled halfway round the beach without once falling! I am still not comfortable handling steep slopes but at least I could cycle on the road without much glitches!

Today I decided to rent a bicycle instead. Ironically the rental bicycle is even easier to handle and cycle than the one I have! I actually cycled without much wobbling!

We actually wanted to cycle to Marina Barrage but the route was closed so we turned back. We had to pass by an overhead bridge which I got down and pushed the bicycle along.

Along the way we saw some cyclists already testing out the route. One round to Marina Barrage and back, I already feel my legs giving way. I was so afraid of my legs getting numb and me flying off the bicycle again!

Luckily everything went smoothly. There was no flying off the bicycle, no falling, no imbalance, no accident. It was unbelievably smooth, especially for someone like me.

Now I am paying the price - numb legs and cramps! Hopefully I will be able to handle twenty kilometres tomorrow! Just one more day!

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First Presenters' Meeting

I went for the first meeting of the presenters last night. I wrote a few talks prior to the meeting. During the meeting I heard the more experienced presenters presenting their talks and again felt touched by their stories.

Incidentally I would be presenting with most of the presenters during my own weekend, which means I would have heard most of their talks already, yet when they were sharing last night, I still felt touched and inspired.

When my turn came to share, I read out from what I wrote. As expected, my talk was a bit too long. I exceeded the stipulated time of five minutes by two minutes.

The feedback was that it was a good sharing but I could cut down on what was not essential and elaborate more on what was essential. Then I was told to convert it to another talk as it seemed more relevant to the other talk.

There will be another workshopping session next week. I need to revamp and edit my talk to make it more relevant to the topic at hand. I am sure learning a lot and hopefully I can be a full-fledged presenter after this!

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Two More Days ...

I am so nervous! It is just less than two days to the big cycling event - the OCBC Cycling Challenge 2010! I would be doing a twenty kilometre Community Ride. That was why I had to do an intensive training not just to build up my stamina but also to ensure I stop wobbling!

I just went to collect the kit consisting of a T-shirt and bib with my number and my coupon for transport. So I am now keeping my fingers crossed that I can survive!

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In Death ....

After a hiatus of two months, I finally went back to the normal mid-week Prayer Meet last night. The topic was quite solemn, on death and my attitude towards it. In my more depressed and emotional state in the past, there were times when I did contemplate ending all.

I remember when my first relationship ended, I was totally devastated. Despite the relationship being full of unhappiness and quarrels and that guy brought me on a roller-coaster ride all the time, still, I thought it was due to my own (un)doing that it ended. Hence I went home and tried to attempt suicide by trying to cut my wrist with – of all things! – a butter knife.

Through the years and many emotional roller-coasters later (some I did contemplate ending all), I now view death as a given. Everyone dies someday. It is only a matter of when. When your time is up, even a sneeze can cause your death. Similarly when your time is not up, even a road accident you can emerge unscathed.

I have witnessed two close cousins dying. One died at the age of fourteen after she choked on a fishbone, triggering a massive asthmatic attack. Another contracted leukaemia at the age of seven and died at the age of ten, after two remissions. Years later, I wrote a short story dedicated to her memory.

I have also witnessed the death of my late music teacher - someone I truly respected and looked up to. She passed away at the age of thirty-seven from colon cancer after battling it for two years, leaving behind a ten-year-old daughter (then).

At the risk of sounding morbid, sometimes I wonder, how will I be like when I die? Or rather, how shall I die? Judging from my family history, I think I will live a long long life. After all, both my grandmas are still alive even though they are already in their nineties. They suffer the same frailty and whatnot for old folks, but other than that, they are not bed-ridden or incontinence and do not really require special care.

So I suspect I will probably live a long life. Perhaps I can actually get to be a centenarian? But then again, do I really want to live a long life? What can I do if I live a long life? I started working at the age of twenty-three. If I retire at the age of sixty-five, I would have worked forty-two years.

Would I have made enough to live on for retirement by then? With the rate of inflation and living standards plus the constant salary, it is hard to really make ends meet, let alone have substantial savings. If I live on for forty more years after retirement, what then? What exactly am I going to live on? I can keep myself busy doing things, but if I do not generate any income, what exactly can I live on?

Let’s say even if I have kids. I do not expect my kids to support me. They themselves would have their own lives. And at the rate I am going, perhaps my children would have just graduated by the time I retire. So how can I then expect them to feed me? They would also need to settle down and support their own families next time. I should not be a burden to my younger generation.

Hence I do not think I want to live a long life. It would be enough to just see my children grow up and have their own lives, have their own kids. By then I would probably be in my seventies or eighties. I can pass away in peace and bliss.

What I am really worried about is illness. If I get sick, then it will be financially heavy to cure me. If I fall down and get bed-ridden, it will be a big burden on family members to take care of me. So I hope to be as strong as my paternal grandma, that can still walk about and go about her life healthily even at a ripe old age, although I would not want to live that long!

Attending A Creative Writing Workshop

Courtesy of my school, I will be attending a Creative Writing Workshop this Saturday. This is not the same as the Academic Writing Workshop which I attended some years back. This will be conducted by a real published writer, and she will be giving tips on grammar, writing style and where to publish.

The topics covered will include :

• the writer and writing traditions
• the writer and the writing process
• the main genres of creative writing
• the current landscape of creative writing
• where to get your work published
• preparing a manuscript for submission
• agent or no agent?
• working with editors and publishers

Hopefully after this workshop I may just get my collection of short stories published! ;-)

The Cooking Book

I found another "treasure" yesterday! After I saw this cookbook of all cookbooks at a friend's place, I have been wanting to get my hands on it. This is the absolute bible for cooking beginners. Every recipe is illustrated, ie there is a picture of every ingredient used, how the dishes turn out, and it comes equipped with a shopping list stating how many servings in how much quantity of ingredients, as well as a DVD on cooking demonstration!

What can be better than that - a cookbook with practical instructions and detailed pictures so you can never get the overall output wrong? I cannot wait to try out the French Onion Soup recipe and compare it to that one in the Le Cordon Bleu cookbook I have!

Here are some samples of recipes from the pages.