Thinking Of A Pilgrimage ...

World Youth Day for next year will be held at Brazil, in the cities of Sao Paolo, Rio de Janeiro and Salvador da Bahia. I have already missed the one in Madrid last year, and I thought of experiencing just once before I get too old. Unfortunately, by the time I found out about World Youth Day in general, I was already close to the cut off age. Hence, if I do not go next year, I may never have a chance to go again.

I thought of going because this is probably the one time I can actually have a pilgrimage in some sort. I have gone for religious retreats, but never actually gone on something intensive like this. Which is why I thought it would be a good experience for me, where my religion is concerned.

However the price is quite a turn off. I guess because it is South America after all, so it is inevitably more expensive than other countries. Although the price is all inclusive (return air fare, all meals, accommodation and transport), I still think it is rather steep. We are not staying in luxurious places or dining in high class places after all, we will be staying in dormitories, basic accommodation and eating basic meals. Is there really a justification for the cost? And the price is already partially sponsored, otherwise it will be higher!

The other concern is the duration. It will be a three-week pilgrimage at least. I am not sure if I can even take that long off, considering I started my job not that long ago. I have calculated that I need at least fifteen days off, and that is assuming I work until the day of departure, and go back to work immediately after I return and not take anymore days off immediately before and after that.

On the other hand, it is Brazil. We will be going to Sugarloaf Mountain, Statue of Christ the Redeemer, and some other "holy grounds", including UNESCO Heritage sites. We may get to see the Pope up close and personal as he would be conducting the closing mass. And South America is a place I always wanted to go.

I have up to mid-December to make up my mind, after that there is no turning back! I think I shall take the next few days and decide.

Striking Hard?

The "big" news this week is on a group of bus drivers going on strike to ask for more pay. This group of bus drivers is another batch of "foreign talent" who were unhappy about the pay raise, as they felt the company discriminated against other "foreign talents", so they went on strike on Monday. Coincidentally, the chief executive officer happened to be on vacation so this was handled by other officials.

 

Come to think of it, even though we do not really have a strong union that protests against everything, most of us are relatively well-behaved, as in we go to work, go home and so be it. We accept overtime work without pay, accept whatever benefits and welfare of the company even though some may not be as impressive, and accept whatever vacation we were given. Besides, all companies have to adhere to local labour law, which, in my opinion, is pretty reasonable where employees are concerned.

 

However, this group of strikers wanted to take matters into their own hands. Yes, no doubt in their own country, they could strike whenever they felt things were unfair. But this is not their own country. Here, strikes are illegal, and for a tranport company which falls under "essential services", all the more they will be charged and made examples of.

 

But this strike does serve as a wake-up call that we should not be taking things for granted. We live in a relatively sheltered society, which is why whenever things fall out of the norm, we kick up a big fuss as we think things like that can never happen. But the fact is, all these things do happen, and they happen a lot in other countries, just that many people here are too narrow to realise that.

 

Case in point - the recent blaring out of racial-related stuff on one's personal page that went viral, causing the perpetrator to get terminated. I am not saying that is the right thing to do. Yes, her act was downright insensitive, but then again, in other countries, there are worse stuff being written on walls, houses and yelling on the streets.

 

Yet those people take it in their strides and accept it as part and parcel of life. It is only here that people make a very big deal out of it because things like that have never happened, hence they should not happen and those who behaved "out of the ordinary" should be spat upon, and oh, everyone should know who this person is and what the person looked like so we could throw daggers at the picture.

 

Is this really necessary? Ok, the person had done a wrong thing, ok, the drivers are on strike, so what next? Striking is illegal here, and if their demands were given in, then everyone else would strike, but if their demands were not given, then what? Some people would then think we are an unfair society who only wanted our own way. Either way, it is hard to come to a consensus.

 

What will happen to the drivers in question? They may end up losing their jobs. They may even be charged. But whatever it is, I believe the authorities will make an example out of this case to prevent others from doing similar things. I hope this case comes to a conclusion soon as I am really interested to find out how the authorities will handle this.

Side Effects ...

I thought my cough came back, so this morning I took some cough mixture and lozenges, which turned out to be a bad idea, because now I am feeling so drowsy at work! I can hardly keep my eyes open and trying to prevent my head from nodding off!

 

It is true indeed, that the side effect of cough syrup really does make one drowsy. I have barely read anything because each time I started reading, my eyes would start to close and I had to constantly shake myself to wake up!

 

If only I can last until the end of the day ...

End Of The Pretty Vampire Saga

I just went to watch the last instalment of the Twilight series for the second time. The ending is a good conclusion to the whole series, and somehow I felt a sense of pity after finishing the show, because that is the end. It was just like Harry Potter, where I had to wait ten years for the ending.

 

I read the book series when the first movie came out. Within one week, I finished all four books. It is a good story on its own, although if I was say fifteen years younger, I would appreciate it more and go so starry eyed and dreaming of my own true love in the form of a good-looking, rich and romantic guy. Alas, reality strikes and now that I am this age, I have gotten more cynical.

 

I guess the story is so appealing because it is a deviation from the norm. Afterall, vampires are supposed to be like Dracula - evil, blood-sucker, kidnap maidens and gain more power. They are supposed to have no reflection, stay out of the sun, sleep in coffins, have pointed teeth and no red eyes. Vampires will be killed using a cross, stabbing through the heart and scared off by garlic.

 

Stephenie Meyer made vampires look so glamourous - pale skin, dark hair, red eyes, no pointy teeth, mirror reflections, no need to sleep and able to glow in the sun instead of burning. They do not eat, not scared by garlic, and nothing can kill them save for beheading. Somehow that reminds me of the immortal Highlander.

 

For people who are die hard vampire fans, these do not bode well for them as they believe in the traditional vampires. Hence, this would be a screwed up version of vampires. But this story, besides vampires taking the central stage, is essentially a love story. Shorn of the vampire and human status, it shows how true love prevails, how the guy would do anything to protect the girl he loves, how a man will put his family first at all cost.

 

And that is why it is so popular, especially amongst ladies. Every lady, no matter what age, deep down, she yearns for a man like that, someone who loves her and protects her, who cares for his family and someone who can withstand thick and thin for her. Which is why I felt it was a pity that the series ended.

 

Oh well.. I can always re read the books and start indulging in my own fantasies again!

Everybody Loves Raymond

Recently I started watching this old sitcom called "Everybody Loves Raymond", courtesy of my youngest brother who copied the whole show into my computer. I know of this show when it was first shown, but did not get a chance to watch it as American sitcoms were always shown during odd hours where my family members preferred to watch other kinds of shows, ie local Chinese news and dramas.

 

The drama centred on a "dysfunctional" American family. Raymond is the head of the house with his wife Debra, who is a stay-at-home mum, with three children, and his parents live across the street from them, who takes every opportunity to go over many times a day without knocking or informing in advance, and often caught them in the most embarrassing situations.

 

Raymond is not only chauvinistic, but he is also insecure and a mummy's boy, the worst combination I can think of for a man. Debra comes from a rich family, but once she married Raymond, she gave up the things she liked, like Reading Club, travelling around, and learnt how to be a housewife, even though she is still not up to the expectations of her mother-in-law.

 

Raymond's mother Marie is the archtypical housewife. She served her husband and sons, with Raymond being her favourite, so still fusses over him in front of Debra and often puts her down in front of him. Whenever Debra and Marie has any tension, Raymond will always take his mother's side, much to Debra's chagrin.

 

Marie is always going into their house and interfering with how Debra cooks, cleans, teaches the children and treatment of Raymond, which Marie feels Debra is not a "good enough" wife simply because she refuses to fuss over Raymond like how Marie does. And whenever there is tension between Raymond and Debra, Marie will always automatically assumes it is Debra's fault as no one can ever blame her precious son.

 

The sitcom is funny, but to me, it is more of a sitcom, it is real life. I have personally experienced a family like that. I, too, was with a guy whose entire family revolves around him, To his parents, he can do no wrong. So if I so much as ask him to stop scattering his food when he ate or rinse the dishes properly so that there would be no detergent left on the dishes, his parents blamed me for "controlling" their son.

 

There was one episode when Debra wanted to go back to work, and Raymond's whole family objected. Debra scolded Raymond, saying that the reason he refused to let her go back to work was because he would have to help out more around the house, which he has otherwise taken for granted. When Marie knew, she said that the house is already in a mess, why must she go back to work, and that couldn't Raymond support her? But Debra's reasoning of going back to work was because she wanted to spend some time out of the house, but to Raymond's intrusive family, it is taboo for a woman to be career-minded and feminist.

 

Same goes for me. When I was with that guy, his family also thought why should I go on a business trip without asking him along, and that why must I care about my career and progress further on? They even assumed I would not be a good wife or mother because of that, as to them, a woman's place is in the house and she should listen to what the man says and not counter.

 

Hence while watching Raymond, I think a lot about my own experiences, and start to really admire Debra for being able to put up with all those situations. I know I can never tolerate the way she does, and she must have loved Raymond very much indeed, even though he always think she prefers someone else just because she praised some other guys at times.

 

The same thing happened to me too. I was not only dating a mummy's boy with no stand of his own, but he let his parents control everything we do. For instance, when I so much as said something nice of a guy friend, he would start thinking I prefer my that guy friend to him, and even said if I prefer someone else then go with that person. Seriously, can men not understand we are with them because we love them no matter what they are like, instead of thinking we always prefer someone else when we already made our choice? And it did not help that his parents said we would not last because I would sure dump him for someone better.

 

I am now in the middle of the fifth season, with three more seasons to go before the end of the series. The more I watched this, the more enjoyable I found the show, and the more I thought about my situation, and that I should know how to better prepare myself if I ever find a guy like that again. On the other hand, the type of guy I prefer is someone who can stand up and be a man instead of a wuss. So I guess the show is really entertaining and enriching for me. I only wish I managed to watch this when it first came here!

Civil Or Criminal?

Few months ago, I went online to lodge a police report about a case that has been pending for a very long time. That was before I left for Borneo, and since then I started in my new job and essentially did not wish to proceed on due to some factors.

However, last Friday, the police officer called me, asking me about the report I made. He said in order to proceed investigations, he would advise two courses of actions, one to take out a civil suit, which means I would need to engage a lawyer and go through the entire paperwork leading to the trial, or else proceed with a criminal suit, in which case the perpetrator would be taught a lesson.

Either way does not sound tempting to me. If I proceed with a civil suit, I am spending money for nothing, even though there is a strong case. But at the end the perpetrator will only need to pay me monetary damages, but there is no guarantee the case would be stopped after that. But if the perpetrator has no money to pay me, what then? Even if there is injunction, the court is not so free to monitor when the money is being paid, and if I am to sue for non-payment, I would have to pump in more time and money to go through a trial again.

If I take out a criminal suit, which is the more preferable way as that would also be a strong case, then it is a likely jail term. But if a person goes to jail, it is the end of the road, as he will always have a record as a prisoner. He will then never be able to find another job, or even if he could, he would not be able to rise up in his career into roles of responsibility. And that is not including how his family members would feel.

Personally I would never send someone to jail because the punishment is just too much. It is not just the own person, but the whole family who would be involved and labelled. I do not wish to be the one responsible for destroying an entire family.

On the other hand, what other ways can we get a perpetrator to stop the wrongful things he is doing? I lodged a police report because I was at my wit's end, but do I really want to be the one sending him to jail? I will never be able to live with my own conscience, but if things blow out of proportion and more people get involved, then it is not good as well. I would not want others to be in any forms of unwanted situations through no fault of their own.

The officer gave me some time to think about what I wanted to do, and he said he would call me back this week to sound me out. If I do intend to go the criminal way, then I would need to go down and make a formal signed statement, and then they can start investigating, otherwise I would have to go find my own lawyer.

If only I have an answer to what I should do!

No More Business For Post Offices?

One simply cannot fight technology. First, bookstores are disappearing because more and more people are reading off their screens. This is something I can never fathom as I will always, always prefer paperbacks and a physical book to a mere screen.

 

Now, it seems that post offices are also struggling to barely survive. Gone are the days when people buy stamps in bulk, or go to the post office to send a postal order, international reply coupon, or post a letter. With emails, online funds transfer and cheques, things like postage stamps, postal orders and international reply coupons are slowly being phased out.

 

I notice this during my two recent trips to the post office to send out packages. I remember as much as five years back, the queue would always be very long and the stamp booklets will be filled to the brim. Now, people either use electronic stamps or frank their mail.

 

So when I was over at the post office, the queue was very short. In fact, when I was there, there were five counters but only two counters had serving staff. The rest of the counters were empty. Despite that, there were only two people in front of me - both sending packages. It seems that nowadays when people go to a post office, it is to send packages, and not to post letters or buy stamps anymore.

 

In order to innovate their dying business, our post offices are now venturing into other areas, like remittance of funds, sending reminder bills on behalf of banks, bill payments, and even cash loans. Anything to keep the business going.

 

I wonder if the post office will soon go the way of bookstores? Already I notice that people do not use stamps anymore. In fact, I have not had much to add to my stamp collection in recent years simply because no one sends letters out anymore. The only people who still keep the post offices going are those involved in online businesses who need to send out bulk orders. Because of all these online businesses, even shopping malls and boutiques are now suffering in silence due to their lack of sales.

 

It seems that the only business that is still going strong are those that belong to the basic necessities which one has to go out to in order to survive, like the food and beverage business, the medical business and the education business. Clothes can be bought online, books can be bought online, even computers and gadgets can be bought online. But one cannot eat online, nor can they go see a doctor online, nor learn how to read online if they did not know how to read.

 

Looks like in the near future, fewer and fewer businesses will be able to survive. I only hope that no more bookstores will be shut down, and the post offices will still remain where they are instead of shutting down totally.

From "Middle"-Class To "Low"-Class

I was reading this nostalgic blog that I stumbled upon, and it really brings me back some memories, not all, but just a bit. The blogger is only a little older than me, so by right, I should have about the same kind of childhood memories as he did, but I guess he remembered more things because he had a more "normal" childhood.

 

I did not have the "normal" kind of childhood which most people have. My childhood was spent studying, shuttling from all kinds of enrichment lessons, and visiting my grandmother. I have never lived in public housing, so I never have that kind of fun playing marbles in the corridor or skipping in the void decks. My grandmother and uncle's family do not stay in public housing too, so except for the collecting of saga seeds that fly from the nearby trees, otherwise I did not play in those old playgrounds that were so prominent in public housing estates.

 

Hence, I did not have many childhood friends. The only people I played with were my cousins, who preferred reading indoors and doing cross stitch to outdoor playing. The only outdoors we went was the swing at my grandmother's house, which still exists until now even though the house has been torn down and rebuilt twice and renovated three times after that.

 

Anyway, in this nostalgic blog, the blogger talked about his own childhood of living in public housing when it was at its peak, as well as going back even further when his parents lived in villages, which have all since been gone to make way for residential and commercial areas. Honestly, I would have love to have grown up during those times when we still have villages and the pace of life was still slower. Now, just about every building worthy of being a heritage site is being knocked down to make way for roads, train stations and highways. And our government is wondering why the younger generation does not seem to have a clue about our heritage and history!

 

My mum said that her generation is lucky, as she belongs to the baby-boomers era and actually witnessed how our country has grown from post-war mess to a developed nation. So she is priviledged to be able to work herself up to become middle-class from poor.

 

However, from our generation onwards, it is getting tougher. We start off middle-class, but by the time we are able to buy our own housing and start our own families, chances are we may be struggling to make ends meet just to meet housing loans and whatnot, because the cost of living here is just getting higher and higher everyday but our own incomes are not. Even bare necessities cost a fortune. Hence, we may go from middle-class to low-class, and that is what many people may not be able to understand and tolerate, as after the comfortable life we have had, who is willing to go lower?

 

That is why many people are not being realistic when they look for jobs. They expect the incomes to be of a certain range and unwilling to go down to anything lower. I cannot say I blame them, but on the other hand, if you are desperately looking for a job, should you not just take whatever comes first and then after a while, either get promoted or move on after gaining experience? But many people are not willing to start off lower, as they feel if they are graduates, they should start off being middle-management at least.

 

I guess I have to start adapting to being "low"-class then if that is the case! Unless I ever get my dream fulfilled of relocating, otherwise I just have to bite the bullet and try to survive here like always, and struggle to make ends meet for myself and my future family.

Shows For The "Holiday" Season

I always like end of the year. Besides the fact that a new year is coming, hence new hope and new beginnings, there are always great shows around this period of time. Most of my favourite shows are around the holiday season, like "Love, Actually", which is now my staple routine for Christmas countdown. Not to mention the night lights, and the great food, feasting and partying.

 

This year, the Christmas countdown (for me at least) begins this weekend. So many great shows are coming, like the final saga of Breaking Dawn which brings an end to the entire Twilight series, which, by the way, is much better in the book series than the films.

 

Then there is Life Of Pi, which is one of my favourite books of all time. Okay, I have a lot of favourite books, but when I say "favourite", I rank it amongst the top fifty books that I like. I am really curious to see how the movie will turn out to be. The trailer shows lots of CGI, but since it is the great Ang Lee directing, I believe he may somehow make the story come to life.

 

There are also the two great "heros" of two of my favourite writers, Alex Cross, as created by James Patterson, and Jack Reacher, as created by Lee Child. Even though both of these Dan Brown contemporaries are not as good a writer as him, they write pretty good stories that are easy to read and keep the reader captivated.

 

And of course, the very first musical I have ever watched, which is now my second favourite musical of all time, played by one of my favourite actors-singers, Hugh Jackman - Les Miserables! This will be opening on Christmas Day. The trailer does not feature a lot of Hugh Jackman's singing, but I really cannot wait to hear him sing again! 

 

What makes this movie even more interesting is that all the actors have to sing live, as in accompanied by a live pianist, and instead of reciting the script, they sing out the whole script. Which means there is not much room for mistakes. Let us wait and see how those two Australians are going to pit against each other!

 

Speaking of musicals, there are also two musicals which I will be watching in December - Sleeping Beauty, technically not a musical but a ballet, and Jersey Boys, with their first ever show here. Hopefully they live up to their hypes too!

 

Hopefully this will be a very good end to the year, as compared to my disastrous year end last year and beginning of this year. As I said, a new year, a new hope and a new beginning!

A "Spring Flu"?

I had been sick since Friday, with sniffles, sore throat, watery nose and flu. Today is the first day I am back at work after having been out sick the last two days. With the weather changing, many are getting sick. The rainy season is the same - rain, stop, rain, stop, thunderstorm, hot and humid, then thunderstorm again.

 

Finally I got better and dragged myself back to work today. But it did not help that the airconditioning is freezing, even with my long-sleeve turtleneck knit top and knee-length skirt. It also does not help that I am sitting by the window, that even with the view of the construction next to me and the buildings and highway, the sun is either streaming in and making the place very hot, or else the thunder strikes and I can see the tops of the trees swaying to the wind, hence getting the cold.

 

I should have known better. After having lived in the tropics for all my life, I should know how to attune to the changing weather of the monsoon and take better care of my health. Hopefully my sniffles can clear up soon as it is really an uncomfortable feeling being stuck with a cold!

Of Foreign Talents ...

After all the debate going around about restricting foreigners while the elections were going on last year, one of the first thing our new Parliament did was to have more restrictions on foreigners finding work here.

 

In the past, there were lesser restrictions. Much as companies try to give priorities to our locals, but anyone with the qualifications and experience could find a job here. Now, it is getting harder for foreigners as our locals complained that foreigners are taking all our jobs away, so the jobs will be all reserved to our locals, unless the foreigner is on an overseas posting here.

 

This is happening everywhere. Even places like Australia and Hong Kong, where it used to be easier for foreigners to work there, now there is hardly a chance, as the countries give priorities to their own people.

 

Not only jobs, even university places. A lot of university places are opened up to foreigners who have never studied here, whereas the locals who did well enough were deprived of a place. On the other hand, many people here went overseas to study, so would the concept not be the same?

 

I never know there are so many xenophobic people around. Of course, if foreigners come and benefit us, I believe they would never complain. But once foreigners start taking over our jobs, being paid a lot and the benefits do not come to us, people will sure complain. Such is human nature, especially those who are born and bred here.

 

One case in point - the Olympic team. Our government paid a lot of "foreign talents" to come and play for us, given them residency and when they win, it is to our benefit and not to their countries. But some are not happy, saying that if we want a true representation of our country, we should get locals to play!

 

But then have they ever considered, why are the locals here so lacking in sports and music? It is because since young, our parents drilled us to study, and not waste time playing sports or music. If we ever say we want to be a sportsperson or musician, our parents would shoot us down and tell us to dream about being a doctor, lawyer, engineer or whatnot instead.

 

Not so for other countries. The gifted ones were discovered at a young age. After that they were put under training to develop their skills, so by the time they reach their late teens, they were able to shine. But these do not come without sacrifices. They did not go through a normal academic study, they went through a different syllabus, but their studies mainly concentrated on sports or music to develop their gift to the fullest.

 

There is no such system here. Everything is so academic based. Yes, now there are secondary schools exclusively for music, arts and sports, but in order to enter these schools, one must score very well acacdemically in the first place before they can be considered. There are many others who could be equally, or even more talented, but because they did not do that well academically, they were not even considered.

 

So what does this say? Academic results still hold the power? There are many others who may not be able to score well academically, but they could be a gem in the sports or music field. Yet they are being overlooked simply by not being "smart"? Why must these people lose out because they did not score as well in other subjects? And that is why we are not able to nurture really talented people!

 

In this globalised and cosmopolitan society, it is inevitable that foreigners will come in. Instead of griping about it, why not we just work together and do our part? I have worked with foreigners before, and it is really a great learning experience because it widens up one's horizons in how other people handle matters. One has so much to learn from each other.

 

Having said that, if foreigners want to come here to study and work, then at least behave themselves and not be an embarrassment to their own country and culture. One example is this scholar who set up a sex blog, and got his scholarship revoked. If he is to continue his studies here, he would need to pay the full price.

 

Another case is a senior executive from a prominent bank who got terminated from his employment for creating a scene with foreign construction workers. It is good to work overseas to gain exposure and experience, but one must be more aware of one's behaviour and not make a nuisance out of ourselves, as the laws everywhere is different. What may be acceptable to your own country may not be so in other countries.

Is There A Price Tag On Love?

I was reading Violet's latest article on her blog, and her Facebook page, and that particular article generated some heated discussion online. The reason is because one of the ladies said that her criteria for finding a guy is that he must earn a minimum of S$6,000.00 a month, which got slammed by the guys, but supported by the ladies.

 

Men said she is materialistic and a gold-digger. Some men even said if she wants the guy to earn a certain amount, then she herself should also earn that amount. Some men said if she wants a guy to earn a certain amount, then she must be pretty and gorgeous in the first place to be able to match with that kind of guy.

 

Whereas most women said that it is not an unreasonable request. The living expenses here are such that the median income for minimal expenses (normal public housing, small car, raising two kids, household expenses, transport, etc) is about S$6,500.00. Hence, women said asking for a mininum of S$6,000.00 is not unreasonable, in fact, it is already the bare minimum.

 

I guess the median income of S$6,500.00 is realistic because housing loans itself can kill you. Where in the world can you find a small public flat with two to three bedrooms that cost a minimum of S$300,000.00, and that is already in a very inconvenient area without any facilities and amenities? If you live near a train station with facilities like food centre, grocery shop, etc, then the price can be even S$500,000.00 or thereabouts. With that kind of price, I can own a mansion overseas!

 

Honestly, even after working for so long, whatever I have saved up is not even enough to get a small flat! Most people have to take loans as even with dual-incomes, their combined incomes are still not enough to get a normal flat! And depending in your age and tenure, the loan can be twenty to thirty years, with at least S$2,000.00 being paid back every month!

 

That is just for housing loan. What about if one has kids and feel it is more convenient to get a car to drive the children around? Where in the world can you find cars, even a small Suzuki Swift wihch is like the cheapest car here, that cost S$70,000.00 minimum for a new car? And that is not including the certificate of entitlement which one has to bid for, in order to even own a car. And that can cost around the same price as the cost of the whole car at a bare minimum, unless one happens to be lucky to get the bidding at a very low rate, which does not happen often. So it is another S$140,000.00 into the car, with car loans adding to another at least S$1,000.00 every month. With that kind of price, I can drive a sports car overseas!

 

That is not including household expenses like water and electricity, food, entertainment, upbringing of kids, sending them to pre-schools (pre-schools can cost around S$800.00 every month even with subsidy). So one does the mathematics and see how much a normal household needs as a bare minimum.

 

Having said that, I never believed in having a price tag to love. I have never asked that the guy I am with must earn a certain amount. In fact, as far as I remember, I have never dated anyone of that "price range", nor have I dated anyone who even earns more than me. I never question what the guy's income is too unless we are of a serious stage of commitment. Nor do I state what kind of jobs he must be in.

 

Unless the guy is a doctor, lawyer, banker or director of some company, chances are he will never be able to reach the minimum S$6,000.00 a month. And how many doctors, lawyers, directors and bankers can one find? Even if can find, they may either be married, or gay, or non-committal. Honestly, I have not even sniffed that amount even after working for so long. My income is way below that. Most of us are normal workers with average incomes. So is the nature of the job or the income really the be all and end all of considering a lifelong partner?

 

I just want someone I can get along with. I do not need a guy to give me a luxurious life, nor bring me to the ends of the earth, nor bring me fine dining all the time. I am also working, I also have my own keep, so why should I need a man to bring me to do all these things, when I am more than capable of doing all these on my own?

 

I just want someone who can be in partnership with me and we are each other's mutual support, who can work together to create a good life for both of us. That is why I never question a guy's income, because if I like him, there must be something that attracted him to me in the first place, and not because of how much net worth he has.

 

If one base a relationship on net worth, then is the person really committed to the guy or to the money? Does it mean to say if the guy no longer has the capability to earn that much, or if he ever goes bankrupt, or lose his job and has to take something lower, she will leave him for someone richer?

 

When has love started to become so calculative? True love should never be calculative. To me, a real committed relationship is when both get together, know what they are in for, and then work out all problems along the way together. It is really for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do them part.

 

If a woman manages to find someone who earns a lot to give her a luxurious life, then she is very lucky. Not everyone is so lucky. Most of us work together with our partners, contribute together, and carve out a better lives for ourselves and our families. If someone is to put a price tag on love, then would the person not be losing out on someone who may be right, even if the person does not come in the exact "package" she wants?

 

Imagine you find a guy who earns S$10,000.00. Yet he is so controlling, wants everything done his way, never respects his wife, puts such a tight rein on his finances and refuses to contribute more, and yet still expects the wife to contribute more and puts her down when she does not earn as much as he likes.

 

Then imagine another guy who earns say S$4,000.00. But he gives whatever he can to his family, never asking his wife to contribute, and he respects his wife and loves his family. His family's welfare and happiness is everything to him.

 

Which guy would a woman prefer? Many would say the first guy, simply because he earns more. But does that mean a guy with more earning power entitles him to be a jerk? Personally, I would prefer the second guy.

 

I always feel even if you find someone who is richer, he may not necessarily give you happiness. Likewise, someone who may not be that rich, you may actually be happy with the person. The problem is most people nowadays, they want to put a price tag to love, and once the person does not meet up in terms of net worth, he is dropped without even getting a chance.

 

No wonder there are so many singles out there because people are not able to see beyond the price tag and see the person for who he or she is. And that is a sad thing indeed, as they may probably find themselves lonely for the rest of their lives, with so much money but no one to share with.

Spitefulness Of Women

In this time and age, nothing is secret anymore. After all the scandals of two of our high-ranking military personnel involved in a corruption-turned-pornography case, the director of the Central Intelligence Agency had to resign because of a sex scandal. In all of these cases, if it was not because someone blew the whistle, no one would find out.

 

So who blew the whistle? Chances are it would be the women involved. Yes, women are spiteful. Yes, they seek out revenge. And yes, if you cheat them or break their hearts, they will bring you down no matter what. Afterall, there is not greater fury than a woman scorned.

 

Of course, most women also have common sense and magnanimity, so most women would just take it as a lesson and let things go. However, there are some who would turn sour and go all out to let the man suffer, especially since he is a prominent figure. She knows how to strike him at his worst.

 

In all these cases, no doubt the women should not have done things so drastic. Afterall, whatever transpired was consensual, they are both adults, they both knew what they were getting into. And it is very easy for women to "manipulate" men to get what they want using their sexual prowess.

 

Still, if the men are grounded and do not succumb, then the whole issue would never have blown out, is it not? The thing is, women knew how to get men, and some will not hesitate to get what they want from men. But I am pretty sure men knew exactly when the women are getting something from them. Then it is up to their own prerogative to just put a stop to it, is it not, instead of playing along?

 

When things happened, to men, they may think it is all fun and both knew what they were getting into. But to women, it is beyond that. When a woman gives her body, she also unconsciously gives her heart and soul. Physical intimacies is never separated for a woman. Yes, women can go for one night stands and sleep with different men, and even if she did not think much of that, deep down, she always wished one of the men would respond to her and not think of her as just "used goods".

 

Whereas men, they have no qualms sleeping around because to them, physical intimacies is just that - body and action. There is no strings attached, no emotions involved. Hence, men can take it as if nothing happened.

 

But not women. So when the whatever relationship ended, and women suffered emotionally, she would then turn sour and wanted to teach the men a lesson. Likewise, if a woman makes up her mind to date a guy, she will only be dating him exclusively, because when she is ready to give her emotions fully, she would do that. No matter how the guy is like, she would still stick with him because she made her choice, hence would tolerate every nonsense and bad habits the man has.

 

But I know men will not do that. Men will pick on little things to determine whether the woman is worth his time. Even if the woman laughs a little louder, walks a bit more roughly, all these "minor" issues will be blown up and men would just say because of these, the woman is not for him, as he always expects the woman to be perfect. And because of these, he will start seeing other women, or worse, string several women aloing before he makes his final choice, if he ever does.

 

I guess that is why men are from Mars and women are from Venus! Both genders are just wired differently.

The "Little Emperor" Syndrome

Recently, a video featuring two teenaged boys has gone viral. Online and physical media has picked up on the story and bloggers and netizens have slammed the two boys for what they did. Essentially, they refused to give up the nursing room in a library when a mother who needed to nurse her baby requested, and were even rude to the mother.

 

I really wonder, is it due to the progression of society or upbringing that kids are behaving in such ways nowadays? As I said before, nothing is secret anymore. Every little action you do, no matter how little, will be taped down and broadcasted to the whole world. I always find that unethical because it is one's own private affairs after all, is it really necessary to involve the whole world?

 

Human nature is such that they crave on "juicy" news, even if it did not happen to them. That is why when so and so quarrelled in public and they were unfortunately taped and uploaded, suddenly they found themselves in the middle of some sensational news. Is it really that necessary? What pleasure and satisfaction can one derive on seeing other people's private affairs?

 

In this case, the mother in question taped the two boys. The boys knew they were being taped, and even warned the mother from sending the tape to an online forum. Personally, I would just tell the boys to adhere to the rules regarding nursing rooms and get the librarian to help if need be. That would be about it. Why should I go through the hassle of taping and broadcasting? It is my affairs after all, not anyone else's, and if I come across someone unpleasant, well, that was my unlucky day then.

 

Still, what the two boys did were wrong. In the first place, they should not even be in the nursing room, let alone having their own party there. That is the reason why nursing rooms are called such - they are meant for mothers to nurse their babies when need be. We come from a society where people are shy and not used to breastfeed, nor see mothers breastfeeing, their babies anywhere in public, hence many buildings have nursing rooms for this purpose.

 

Are the boys trying to say that they are so important that they are the only ones entitled to use the room and no other person can, even a crying hungry baby? And still behave so rudely when they were politely asked to leave so the hungry crying baby can be fed milk by the mother? What do these boys drink when they were young? Devil's milk?

 

Sometimes I think when our society progresses, people's ethics and morals also went down. Are we so busy chasing material goods and academic results that we totally forgot about character education? Is being rich and being top everything people think about now, and that by being rich and smart, one thinks they can get away with everything?

 

I guess also because nowadays with families getting smaller and kids getting lesser, many of these kids come from one- or two-child families. By the time they were born, they would have around seven adults fussing over them - their parents, their paternal grandparents, their maternal grandparents, and their domestic helper. Since young, they were the kings of the world, what modern society now calls the "Little Emperor" syndrome. Is it any wonder those kids grow up thinking of nothing except themselves, and that the world should only revolve around them?

 

I feel so sorry for the boys' parents. They are minors, so ultimately people will blame their parents for not bringing them up properly enough. But actually, nowadays parents can bring up the kids so well, yet the kids themselves do otherwise. So are the parents really at fault if the kids think they are too smart for their own good?

 

Personally, if those are my kids, I would be so ashamed of myself and them. I would punish them and write out a public letter of apology. If parents do not discipline their own kids when young, who is to know what they will do when they get older? That is why the thought of parenthood scares me because when you have a kid, you really worry endlessly how the kid will turn out to be!

A Growing Collection Of Fridge Magnets

Julie sent me fridge magnets on her recent trip to Nepal. Thanks so much! Because of her, my fridge magnet collection is growing and already, a quarter of the freezer compartment is filled up! I wonder if my mum notices the new "decorations" on her refrigerator?

 

In any case, these were what she got for me from Nepal :

 I like this! Reminds me of the tarot cards to tell my fortune.

 

 Beautiful view of the Himalayas!

 

Needless to say, during my recent weekend in Malacca, I bought myself some nice magnets too!

 I bought these at the Jonker Walk night market, as I really loved the clogs I saw earlier in a shop. I chose this specially because the Chinese characters mean "Everlasting", and I find it so meaningful as this can mean everlasting love, friendship, parenthood or what not. It reinforces the message that in human relations, it is difficult to be "everlasting", so we should treasure each and everyone of us around us!

 

 Icons of Malacca - the Stadthuys and the ruined church atop St Paul's Hill

 

 And of course, the Peranakan culture of Malacca!

 

So the word is out. I have been telling my friends who are planning to go away to get me magnets instead of other things! At least this way, they do not need to rack their brains wondering what to get, not spend too much and bring back heavy stuff, and at the same time know I will like as well!

Biker Chick?

I have finally found the perfect leather jacket! I have always been fascinated by leather jackets, not because I ride a motorbike, but because I find that the jacket looks cool and classy. The first leather jacket I bought was at Lawman, when it still has a shop here. I brought it to my office and started wearing to ward off the freezing temperature. When people see me in it, they always assumed I would be riding a Harley-Davidson after work. Sigh....

 

A few years later, the leather jacket wore out. The leather shreds started coming out, and it could no longer be worn without leaving shreds around. Hence, I threw it out, because it is no longer useful, and if I continued wearing, more and more shreds will come out and it would become nothing but a bald shell.

 

Of course it was heart-aching for me to throw it out! It was my one and only leather jacket, and I think I look really cool in it! Since then, I had to make do with cardigans and pashminas, but they do not give me the same effect as the leather jacket did.

 

Since then, I have been looking around for new leather jackets, but they are either too "biker chick" looking, or too expensive. Recently, I happened to go to one of the neighbourhood shopping malls, and saw a leather jacket on display at one of the mobile carts. I like the look, tried it on, and it fit! Most importantly, the price tag fits too! The girl who runs the cart told me the clothes are all from Korea, so the quality and material used is pretty good, which I can feel too!

 

Hence I bought the jacket. It is difficult to find something I actually like and since I really like this and the price is right, why not? I can bring to my office and start wearing to counter the cold again! And I can wear it when I go overseas to a cold place too!

Eating And Shopping In Malacca

I reached Malacca close to midnight last Friday. Since the rest are staying at Hotel Equatorial, the bus dropped them off there and I had to alight together. It was a ten-minute walk to the hotel I booked, Courtyard @ Heeren (check my travel page for my experience), so I decided to take a cab instead of walking.

The cab brought me along Jonker Walk, the "Chinatown" of Malacca to the hotel. My first impression was that the stretch looked like some red light district with red lanterns and whatnot! But I like the style and feel of the place though. Since it was already so late there was nothing else to do but sleep.

The next day, we had to get up bright and early. The first itinerary is to wander around Jonker Walk. The place is not as big as I thought. We could go from the front to the back to the sides to the back alleys in just a couple of hours time.

I really like Jonker Walk because it is full of old quaint buildings with shops selling old and quaint stuff, reminscent of the retro era. Sometimes I really wonder why I like old and ancient things. Does it mean I am old and ancient myself? ;-P

One of the alleys of Jonker Walk

 A trishaw in Malacca

 This statue, and the next few, are found in a little garden in Jonker Walk, that houses the police post

 I love these clogs!

 Hainan Association, probably where my grandparents first started out

 One of the back alleys of Jonker Walk

 

Walking on, we came to Hotel Puri, which used to belong to Tan Kim Seng, one of the pioneering plantation owners from China. The hotel is still in the old-style authentic Peranakan architecture, and it is breathtaking on its own!

Hotel Puri, the other acclaimed hotel

 Staircase of Hotel Puri

 Courtyard of Hotel Puri

 The rooms on the second level of Hotel Puri

 The main hall of Hotel Puri

 There is even a grand piano!

 

After leaving Hotel Puri, we walked on and reached the oldest Chinese temple in Malacca. En route, I came across this little shop selling English Country style stuff, so I could not resist going in to take a look!



 Once you pass this buiding, veer left and walk down to the oldest temple

 I could not resist taking this old car that I really like!

 The oldest Chinese temple in Malacca

After that, it was time for lunch and we were brought to one of the places selling chicken rice balls.

 Hoe Kee Chicken Rice, situated at the beginning (or end?) of Jonker Walk

 The chicken rice balls are much smaller than I remembered. The ones my grandma used to make would be twice the size of one here!

After that, we went to the building next door to have the famous durian chendol for dessert, which really lived up to the hype.

 The entrance of the famous durian chendol

 The durian chendol comes in a package like this

After lunch, we were brought to The Stadthuys, before proceeding to the new shopping complexes Dataran Pahlawan, Mahkota Parade and Hatten Square for the rest of the afternoon. En route, we passed the Malacca River and the tall tower.

 Malacca River

 The Stadthys

Clock Tower at The Stadthuys

 An old fort next to the Malacca River

Compared to Jonker Walk, The Stadthuys and the rest of the historical part of Malacca, I am somehow disappointed with the new shopping complexes. I guess I prefer the older part of the city better than the newer part!

Besides, there is nothing much to see in the shopping complexes because I do not fancy many of the stuff, and those I do fancy, they can be found back home too. Still, we spent the rest of the time window shopping and snacking at A&W before needing to go to the Portuguese Settlement for dinner.

How I wish A&W can be brought back here!



 The signature A&W Rootbeer Float

 Entrance of Portuguese Settlement

 Hotel Lisbon at Portuguese Settlement

 Seafront at Portuguese Settlement

 

After dinner, we were brought back to Malacca River to spend the rest of the night in leisure. I went around The Stadthuys again to enjoy the night view, then went to eat Satay Celup for supper. The place I was recommended was super crowded with a very long queue, so I went to the place next door which was empty. But the food and variety was not that great too. Maybe that is why that place was empty and the one next door was filled to the brim!



 Windmill opposite Stadthuys

 Night view of The Stadthuys

 Old-fashioned mailbox

 Another old-fashioned mailbox

 Sauce for satay celup

 Satay Celup variety (that was about all the shop has)

 

After supper, I walked back to Jonker Walk via the riverfront to explore the Night Market.



It was very crowded at the Night Market, although there are quite a lot of stalls selling quite a lot of things. But since I was already so tired, I decided to just call it a night and did not explore the other end of the Night Market.

The following day, we were supposed to climb St Paul's Hill, but since it was raining, we were brought to another shopping mall near the Melaka Sentral bus station, called Aeon. Of course those shopaholics were happy to start shopping again, but I just explored a bit. Since there was still time before the bus picked us up to go back, I decided to catch a movie and went to watch "Cold War".

When I came out, it was just time for the bus to pick us up, so I boarded the bus and we went all the way back home, only stopping for dinner in a seafront floating restaurant in Johor before reaching the Causeway.

All in all, this Malacca trip had been pretty interesting, but it would have been more fruitful if I got to eat more of the great stuff like fried oyster omelette and carrot cake! Perhaps next time if I am ever in Malacca again, I would definitely try those food I did not try!