Everybody Loves Raymond

Recently I started watching this old sitcom called "Everybody Loves Raymond", courtesy of my youngest brother who copied the whole show into my computer. I know of this show when it was first shown, but did not get a chance to watch it as American sitcoms were always shown during odd hours where my family members preferred to watch other kinds of shows, ie local Chinese news and dramas.

 

The drama centred on a "dysfunctional" American family. Raymond is the head of the house with his wife Debra, who is a stay-at-home mum, with three children, and his parents live across the street from them, who takes every opportunity to go over many times a day without knocking or informing in advance, and often caught them in the most embarrassing situations.

 

Raymond is not only chauvinistic, but he is also insecure and a mummy's boy, the worst combination I can think of for a man. Debra comes from a rich family, but once she married Raymond, she gave up the things she liked, like Reading Club, travelling around, and learnt how to be a housewife, even though she is still not up to the expectations of her mother-in-law.

 

Raymond's mother Marie is the archtypical housewife. She served her husband and sons, with Raymond being her favourite, so still fusses over him in front of Debra and often puts her down in front of him. Whenever Debra and Marie has any tension, Raymond will always take his mother's side, much to Debra's chagrin.

 

Marie is always going into their house and interfering with how Debra cooks, cleans, teaches the children and treatment of Raymond, which Marie feels Debra is not a "good enough" wife simply because she refuses to fuss over Raymond like how Marie does. And whenever there is tension between Raymond and Debra, Marie will always automatically assumes it is Debra's fault as no one can ever blame her precious son.

 

The sitcom is funny, but to me, it is more of a sitcom, it is real life. I have personally experienced a family like that. I, too, was with a guy whose entire family revolves around him, To his parents, he can do no wrong. So if I so much as ask him to stop scattering his food when he ate or rinse the dishes properly so that there would be no detergent left on the dishes, his parents blamed me for "controlling" their son.

 

There was one episode when Debra wanted to go back to work, and Raymond's whole family objected. Debra scolded Raymond, saying that the reason he refused to let her go back to work was because he would have to help out more around the house, which he has otherwise taken for granted. When Marie knew, she said that the house is already in a mess, why must she go back to work, and that couldn't Raymond support her? But Debra's reasoning of going back to work was because she wanted to spend some time out of the house, but to Raymond's intrusive family, it is taboo for a woman to be career-minded and feminist.

 

Same goes for me. When I was with that guy, his family also thought why should I go on a business trip without asking him along, and that why must I care about my career and progress further on? They even assumed I would not be a good wife or mother because of that, as to them, a woman's place is in the house and she should listen to what the man says and not counter.

 

Hence while watching Raymond, I think a lot about my own experiences, and start to really admire Debra for being able to put up with all those situations. I know I can never tolerate the way she does, and she must have loved Raymond very much indeed, even though he always think she prefers someone else just because she praised some other guys at times.

 

The same thing happened to me too. I was not only dating a mummy's boy with no stand of his own, but he let his parents control everything we do. For instance, when I so much as said something nice of a guy friend, he would start thinking I prefer my that guy friend to him, and even said if I prefer someone else then go with that person. Seriously, can men not understand we are with them because we love them no matter what they are like, instead of thinking we always prefer someone else when we already made our choice? And it did not help that his parents said we would not last because I would sure dump him for someone better.

 

I am now in the middle of the fifth season, with three more seasons to go before the end of the series. The more I watched this, the more enjoyable I found the show, and the more I thought about my situation, and that I should know how to better prepare myself if I ever find a guy like that again. On the other hand, the type of guy I prefer is someone who can stand up and be a man instead of a wuss. So I guess the show is really entertaining and enriching for me. I only wish I managed to watch this when it first came here!