My friend in England told me once that she did not know how to be a real woman in the past. And her definition of a real woman means someone demure, submissive and gentle. She said her father used to have affairs, and her mother would bring her along to go beat up the other woman, so she grew up thinking that women have to be fierce to their men.
Then after six failed relationships, she realised that she could be partly the problem. She sees the other teachers being so fierce to the kids but so sweet in front of their husbands, and she saw me doing so much for my then-boyfriend, and came to a realization that guys want someone who is sweet and gentle, not someone who is fierce.
Now that she is married and a housewife in England, she has really changed a lot. From someone who used to live such a lavish lifestyle and domestically-impaired, she now does all the cooking, cleaning by herself and forever thinking up ways to save money so her husband will not work so hard. I am really impressed, and hope I can be like that too.
I have been told by my brother to control my temper otherwise I will risk losing all the guys I went out with. But I do not think I am that fierce; if anything, it seemed that the guys I was with are all fiercer than me. At least I know I always have to swallow their tantrums without saying anything. And some guys can throw even worse tantrums than girls!
A guy I met last year said guys want submissive kittens and not someone outspoken like me. If he thinks I am outspoken, he has not seen the extent my friends behave. I am fierce only to people who are irritants.
If he thinks I am fierce to him, then please examine himself on how he has been behaving towards me! My friends already complain that I am so easy-going, soft-spoken and nice that people like to take advantage of me!
Is it true that a fierce woman will turn guys off? Do guys really prefer someone who is submissive and do anything he says? I know for sure my mum is never like that. In fact, I see her getting irritated at my dad over everything, which probably explains his long trips abroad. Yet my parents are still together after almost thirty years. In fact, it will be thirty years in another few months.
But fierceness is subjective. Women all have mood swings, some more than others. Whenever they are in one of their moods, they can range from a harmless “picking on everything you do” to the more serious and extreme “beating you up and throwing things at you”.
But how far should a guy tolerate? Just like a girl should not tolerate a guy who abuses her physically, verbally and emotionally, I guess a guy also should not tolerate a girl like that. So how much is a guy willing to take?
As I said, fierceness is subjective, and I think it all depends on the guy how far he is willing to accommodate. My dad accommodated my mum which is why our household is still rather peaceful comparatively. He now switches off to all her ramblings, and told my brothers that they have to get used to a woman’s ramblings as women are all emotional so they are those who cannot keep their feelings inside them. How true!
Although women do have mood swings and can be really difficult at times, overall I think it should not become a habit to always pick on the guy and be so fierce to him. Not everyone can accommodate, and anyway, if you really love the guy, you should try your best to always make him happy and not even be fierce to him.
Then after six failed relationships, she realised that she could be partly the problem. She sees the other teachers being so fierce to the kids but so sweet in front of their husbands, and she saw me doing so much for my then-boyfriend, and came to a realization that guys want someone who is sweet and gentle, not someone who is fierce.
Now that she is married and a housewife in England, she has really changed a lot. From someone who used to live such a lavish lifestyle and domestically-impaired, she now does all the cooking, cleaning by herself and forever thinking up ways to save money so her husband will not work so hard. I am really impressed, and hope I can be like that too.
I have been told by my brother to control my temper otherwise I will risk losing all the guys I went out with. But I do not think I am that fierce; if anything, it seemed that the guys I was with are all fiercer than me. At least I know I always have to swallow their tantrums without saying anything. And some guys can throw even worse tantrums than girls!
A guy I met last year said guys want submissive kittens and not someone outspoken like me. If he thinks I am outspoken, he has not seen the extent my friends behave. I am fierce only to people who are irritants.
If he thinks I am fierce to him, then please examine himself on how he has been behaving towards me! My friends already complain that I am so easy-going, soft-spoken and nice that people like to take advantage of me!
Is it true that a fierce woman will turn guys off? Do guys really prefer someone who is submissive and do anything he says? I know for sure my mum is never like that. In fact, I see her getting irritated at my dad over everything, which probably explains his long trips abroad. Yet my parents are still together after almost thirty years. In fact, it will be thirty years in another few months.
But fierceness is subjective. Women all have mood swings, some more than others. Whenever they are in one of their moods, they can range from a harmless “picking on everything you do” to the more serious and extreme “beating you up and throwing things at you”.
But how far should a guy tolerate? Just like a girl should not tolerate a guy who abuses her physically, verbally and emotionally, I guess a guy also should not tolerate a girl like that. So how much is a guy willing to take?
As I said, fierceness is subjective, and I think it all depends on the guy how far he is willing to accommodate. My dad accommodated my mum which is why our household is still rather peaceful comparatively. He now switches off to all her ramblings, and told my brothers that they have to get used to a woman’s ramblings as women are all emotional so they are those who cannot keep their feelings inside them. How true!
Although women do have mood swings and can be really difficult at times, overall I think it should not become a habit to always pick on the guy and be so fierce to him. Not everyone can accommodate, and anyway, if you really love the guy, you should try your best to always make him happy and not even be fierce to him.
4 comments:
I actually have quite a lot to say on this topic but I'll just stick to what I've learned that's important.
Guys tends to avoid confrontation and do not like to be force into one. Girls on the other hand, needs to "talk things out" and perfers sort things out immediately.
I saw from Discovery that when a person gets into an argument, it tends to get worse because we loose control over our facial expression and tone of voice. When a woman display her fierceness and force a guy into a corner, the result is always bad even if the guy knows he's at fault.
With my ex (who's a fierce woman), I've learned to control my tone and facial expression whenever we have an argument. After she calms down, I would reason with her and apologize if it's my fault.
Both parties should always bear in mind that their ultimate goal is to resolve an disagreement in a relationship. Not make it worse.
For me, "fierceness" is indeed a put off. In nature, "fierceness" is generally used to exert domination, or for self protection. Humans tend to use it for the latter. I prefer a person to reason with me rather than just going into "fierce mode" when things are not going their way.
Having said that, I do not want an "overly demure" partner either.
Is it true that a fierce woman will turn guys off? Do guys really prefer someone who is submissive and do anything he says?
If by a fierce woman, you're referring to a woman who's like your friend's mother in your post, then yes...it's definitely a total turn off.
If by "fierce", you mean "outspoken", "telling how one feels" etc--and to do this within the acceptable range of auditory level--then no, I think most of guys will appreciate it instead.
Leecooper : Yes , you're right, girls tend to want to settle things immediately. I'm like that too, especially since I hate heated arguments, so I have to learn to be more patient sometimes.
Ole Wolvie : "Reason with you" varies from people to people. You may think you want to be reasonable, but the other party may choose to be unreasonable.
Anon_X : Really? Guys really apprecaite girls being outspoken? Somehow I get a different feedback on that from other guys.
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