It has been one hell of a week. Work, study, work, study, chat with him, work, study. I had to rush my assignment this week. And it had been a particularly stressful day today. I killed a spider at work. It started crawling up my knuckles while I was in the middle of replying to an email, making me jump up and scream.
I told off an unreasonable caller. I turned the filing cabinets upside down just to look for one particular file for one particular document. I bounced emails back and forth, back and forth, and the other party still could not reach an agreement. I countered and re-countered several contracts. I proof-read a thirty-page legal document. By the time I knocked off, I was totally shagged.
To top it off, I am still in the process of sorting out my emotional state. He is a nice guy, one of the nicest I know. He is also mature (probably due to his age), independent and what my mum will term as "ready" and "stable". So why the reservation?
We were talking about relationships and I asked him what made him so sure he wants to be with me since we only know each other for just over a month? He told me he thinks it is due to fate.
He said that he already noticed me long before we first talked to each other. He saw me in the staff canteen. He said that for other pretty girls he would just glance and forget, but for me, somehow he had to look again. Flattered, that he actually finds me pretty.
Each time he sees me he is tempted to look again. When he saw me take the same bus and sitting at the back seat, he thought it must be something that got him to keep noticing me and I chose to sit right at the back, just like him.
One day, he was sitting at one corner and I was sitting at the other corner of the back seat and the IT people were sitting in between us, he engaged them in a conversation just so he could look at me throughout without making it too obvious that he was looking.
Then that day when I sat next to him, he thought that was the chance that he could get to know me, which was why he started talking to me. And after that he realise that it is not just physical attraction but love at first sight.
What a sweet tale! He said that when it comes to his age, one does not need long courtships to know if the person is suitable; one just knows because someone his age already knows what he / she want. And he does not find me too young for him; rather he is worried I may find him too old for me.
One of the reservations on my part is the age gap. He is almost a decade older. Although feedback gathered from my girlfriends is that it is still best to find a guy older. Some of my friends will only go for guys at least eight years their senior and above.
I sounded my mum out on this issue. She said a ten year gap is just right. I told her that my dad is still four years older than her, to which she said which is why she is suffering. Hmmmmm...... My mum said that a couple three to four years of age difference will not find it a problem when they were young, but it becomes a problem when they are old.
She said that when my dad was thirty, he had a thirty-year-old mentality, now that he is almost sixty, he still has a thirty-year-old mentality. So she thinks the bigger the age gap between the couple, the better it is, but of course, not to the extent of twenty or thirty years difference.
In the past she used to disapprove of my relationships as she always think the guys are too young. She is rather approving of my friendship with this guy now as she thinks he is at the age where he is already established career-wise, stable financial wise, and will seriously look to settle down. And guys like that normally make the best boyfriends and husbands.
Other reservations on my part is the qualifications and religion part. He sounded me out whether I would accept a guy who is a non-graduate, and he is a free-thinker, but keeps questioning me on religion, some of which I am still not able to answer him. And besides, he really looks a lot like my best friend's ex. How will she feel if I go with someone who looks like that ex whom she regrets so much breaking up with?
But one thing I notice is that there is a difference in talking to a guy my age (I am basing on the experiences with my exs) and talking to a guy so much older. Their perspectives and outlook are simply different. Perhaps it is due to them having more exposure and experience in life. A guy in his twenties may still be rather immature. Like some of my peers, I can never understand the way they think.
The thing I found out is that he and I seem to have the same approach to life and relationship. He does not like a girl who is materialistic, which was why he broke up with his ex. He does not believe in restricting the girl's freedom. She can wear anything she likes and do anything she likes. He says that the girl should have her own life as well.
He says that in a relationship, the couple should appreciate each other's good points and values, and not dwell too much on the bad qualities. This is more or less how I view relationships as well.
He is really encouraging. Like on Tuesday when I told him that my conductor made all of us sing solo (in the four different parts), I got a little scolding as I have yet to memorise my part and the performance is next weekend, he told me to buck up. Today when I sent him a message in the middle of the day telling him how stressed I was, he sent me cute messages and comforted me.
Meanwhile I will be meeting him for a show this Saturday. He is staying near our company, yet he told me to choose a cinema near my place so it is easier for me to get home. I asked what about him? If I choose somewhere near my place, will it not be too far for him? He said it does not matter since he is the guy, he is more worried about me as it will be more dangerous for a girl to make a long journey home.
Perhaps my friends have something there. An older guy is different, even as a friend. No doubt he is pursuing me, but then, I have never felt so well-taken care of before. My previous guys could never hold a candle, even as a friend and a pursuer.
I told off an unreasonable caller. I turned the filing cabinets upside down just to look for one particular file for one particular document. I bounced emails back and forth, back and forth, and the other party still could not reach an agreement. I countered and re-countered several contracts. I proof-read a thirty-page legal document. By the time I knocked off, I was totally shagged.
To top it off, I am still in the process of sorting out my emotional state. He is a nice guy, one of the nicest I know. He is also mature (probably due to his age), independent and what my mum will term as "ready" and "stable". So why the reservation?
We were talking about relationships and I asked him what made him so sure he wants to be with me since we only know each other for just over a month? He told me he thinks it is due to fate.
He said that he already noticed me long before we first talked to each other. He saw me in the staff canteen. He said that for other pretty girls he would just glance and forget, but for me, somehow he had to look again. Flattered, that he actually finds me pretty.
Each time he sees me he is tempted to look again. When he saw me take the same bus and sitting at the back seat, he thought it must be something that got him to keep noticing me and I chose to sit right at the back, just like him.
One day, he was sitting at one corner and I was sitting at the other corner of the back seat and the IT people were sitting in between us, he engaged them in a conversation just so he could look at me throughout without making it too obvious that he was looking.
Then that day when I sat next to him, he thought that was the chance that he could get to know me, which was why he started talking to me. And after that he realise that it is not just physical attraction but love at first sight.
What a sweet tale! He said that when it comes to his age, one does not need long courtships to know if the person is suitable; one just knows because someone his age already knows what he / she want. And he does not find me too young for him; rather he is worried I may find him too old for me.
One of the reservations on my part is the age gap. He is almost a decade older. Although feedback gathered from my girlfriends is that it is still best to find a guy older. Some of my friends will only go for guys at least eight years their senior and above.
I sounded my mum out on this issue. She said a ten year gap is just right. I told her that my dad is still four years older than her, to which she said which is why she is suffering. Hmmmmm...... My mum said that a couple three to four years of age difference will not find it a problem when they were young, but it becomes a problem when they are old.
She said that when my dad was thirty, he had a thirty-year-old mentality, now that he is almost sixty, he still has a thirty-year-old mentality. So she thinks the bigger the age gap between the couple, the better it is, but of course, not to the extent of twenty or thirty years difference.
In the past she used to disapprove of my relationships as she always think the guys are too young. She is rather approving of my friendship with this guy now as she thinks he is at the age where he is already established career-wise, stable financial wise, and will seriously look to settle down. And guys like that normally make the best boyfriends and husbands.
Other reservations on my part is the qualifications and religion part. He sounded me out whether I would accept a guy who is a non-graduate, and he is a free-thinker, but keeps questioning me on religion, some of which I am still not able to answer him. And besides, he really looks a lot like my best friend's ex. How will she feel if I go with someone who looks like that ex whom she regrets so much breaking up with?
But one thing I notice is that there is a difference in talking to a guy my age (I am basing on the experiences with my exs) and talking to a guy so much older. Their perspectives and outlook are simply different. Perhaps it is due to them having more exposure and experience in life. A guy in his twenties may still be rather immature. Like some of my peers, I can never understand the way they think.
The thing I found out is that he and I seem to have the same approach to life and relationship. He does not like a girl who is materialistic, which was why he broke up with his ex. He does not believe in restricting the girl's freedom. She can wear anything she likes and do anything she likes. He says that the girl should have her own life as well.
He says that in a relationship, the couple should appreciate each other's good points and values, and not dwell too much on the bad qualities. This is more or less how I view relationships as well.
He is really encouraging. Like on Tuesday when I told him that my conductor made all of us sing solo (in the four different parts), I got a little scolding as I have yet to memorise my part and the performance is next weekend, he told me to buck up. Today when I sent him a message in the middle of the day telling him how stressed I was, he sent me cute messages and comforted me.
Meanwhile I will be meeting him for a show this Saturday. He is staying near our company, yet he told me to choose a cinema near my place so it is easier for me to get home. I asked what about him? If I choose somewhere near my place, will it not be too far for him? He said it does not matter since he is the guy, he is more worried about me as it will be more dangerous for a girl to make a long journey home.
Perhaps my friends have something there. An older guy is different, even as a friend. No doubt he is pursuing me, but then, I have never felt so well-taken care of before. My previous guys could never hold a candle, even as a friend and a pursuer.
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