Valentine’s Day saw restaurants fully booked and more couples on the streets than per normal. Some of those couples (mainly the younger ones) were carrying big bouquets of flowers and soft toys or gifts. Seeing these sights, I could not help but smile to myself as a wave of nostalgia swept over me.
The friend I was going home with was remarking that local adults in general do not seem to have the type of courtship or romance which younger people have. She feels that people our age are just too practical. But her opinion is that this is one special day which she will be willing to splurge and celebrate if she has a partner.
That I agree. Although for a couple, everyday should be a Valentine’s Day, but on the day itself, it should be more special. Just like everyday can be Christmas, all the joy, cheer and giving, but it gets more special during Christmas itself.
She thinks local guys our age are too practical and not willing to go the extra mile for their girlfriends. That I agree too, at least to a large extent. I guess it is to do with their upbringings. A lot of local guys my generation and younger are too pampered.
They are brought up thinking the world of themselves, and become rather self-centred, with the mentality that if the girl loves them, she would have to do everything for them. But what makes them think girls are not brought up the same way?
My friends and me are also brought up with the belief that if the guy really loves us, he will be willing to do everything for us. And my friends really adhere to this. The guys they are with must really treat them like queens otherwise they will end the relationship.
My mum and cousin has been telling me to find someone who really loves me, because then he will be really into me, and do everything he can to keep the relationship. My mum said this is the type of guy that can be kept for life as it shows he will be responsible enough to provide for me and our family.
I used to think it does not matter. Love should not be calculative, so does it really matter who loves who more? Which was why my mum used to be angry with me for always doing so much for the guy.
She always tells me that if I am the one always doing so much, the guy will take me for granted one of these days. If the guy really loves me, he will be willing to do more for me without even asking.
I am still skeptical over this, as I still maintain that there should not be a measure of who gives more in a relationship. Despite all my heartache and pain, I still believe in making the person I love truly happy by doing everything I can.
Is it really better to be loved than to love then? Debatable actually. I still think love itself is already the best thing in the world, and the best feeling in the world, despite all the complications that come with it.
But I do believe I will be the happiest and luckiest person on earth if a guy can ever do more for me than I have ever done for him, because that shows he is really serious in making the relationship work. Then I know I will definitely be happy with this person.
The friend I was going home with was remarking that local adults in general do not seem to have the type of courtship or romance which younger people have. She feels that people our age are just too practical. But her opinion is that this is one special day which she will be willing to splurge and celebrate if she has a partner.
That I agree. Although for a couple, everyday should be a Valentine’s Day, but on the day itself, it should be more special. Just like everyday can be Christmas, all the joy, cheer and giving, but it gets more special during Christmas itself.
She thinks local guys our age are too practical and not willing to go the extra mile for their girlfriends. That I agree too, at least to a large extent. I guess it is to do with their upbringings. A lot of local guys my generation and younger are too pampered.
They are brought up thinking the world of themselves, and become rather self-centred, with the mentality that if the girl loves them, she would have to do everything for them. But what makes them think girls are not brought up the same way?
My friends and me are also brought up with the belief that if the guy really loves us, he will be willing to do everything for us. And my friends really adhere to this. The guys they are with must really treat them like queens otherwise they will end the relationship.
My mum and cousin has been telling me to find someone who really loves me, because then he will be really into me, and do everything he can to keep the relationship. My mum said this is the type of guy that can be kept for life as it shows he will be responsible enough to provide for me and our family.
I used to think it does not matter. Love should not be calculative, so does it really matter who loves who more? Which was why my mum used to be angry with me for always doing so much for the guy.
She always tells me that if I am the one always doing so much, the guy will take me for granted one of these days. If the guy really loves me, he will be willing to do more for me without even asking.
I am still skeptical over this, as I still maintain that there should not be a measure of who gives more in a relationship. Despite all my heartache and pain, I still believe in making the person I love truly happy by doing everything I can.
Is it really better to be loved than to love then? Debatable actually. I still think love itself is already the best thing in the world, and the best feeling in the world, despite all the complications that come with it.
But I do believe I will be the happiest and luckiest person on earth if a guy can ever do more for me than I have ever done for him, because that shows he is really serious in making the relationship work. Then I know I will definitely be happy with this person.
14 comments:
well .. when it comes doing for the loved one, ppl like to ask "is it worth it?". But I realize, it's not a question of worthiness but a question of willingness. As long as I'm willing to do it, the question of worthiness shdn't pop up.
However, the most difficult one is not to give understanding to your loved ones.
Instead of love each other, it's better to understand each other.
--phoenich
If the guy really loves me, he will be willing to do more for me without even asking.
Great. Expecting we, guys, to be mind-readers? ;)
Phoenich : Only with love can understanding comes. If the love is not true, that will be when the couples cannot be understanding towards each other.
Anon_X : Erh, not really mind-readers, but then I'm sure if a guy really loves a girl, he will pay attention to what she likes, and spring surprises now and then, and doing things which he knows will make her happy.
Girls need not tell what they want all the time actually. At times it really depends on how receptive and attentive the guy is.
I shall pull my "perceptive" card here again.
When gals think that "guys should do this and this", it does not mean that the guys are on the same wavelength.
I remember one interesting quote:
For a happy relationship, the guy should love a lot, and understand a little, while the gal should understand a lot and love a little.
I think gals shower their guys with love and think that is enough because they expect the same in return.
Meanwhile, add one to my "rs problems". I can't stand to just understand a little, I need to understand a lot.
shakespeareheroine: Even if there's love, the understanding might not come. Because without understanding, the person can't fathom the other person. The love will erode thus the r/s become more difficult to maintain.
my 2 cents.
--phoenich
I always believe that love is but the first step to make two people want to have better understanding about each other.
In my opinion, love is spontaneous; meaning that what one does out of love doesn't need to be motivated.
Therefore, if one truly loves another, he/she will find ways to show his/her love without being asked/expected to. There is no measurement for his/her efforts for there is no need to. What he/she does is truly, sincerely, spontaneously out of love.
I feel that "expectation" is the root of unhappiness in any type of relationship.
Ole Wolvie : Sometimes, it is best not to understand a girl or else you'll turn mad. ;-D
Anon_X : Yes, that I agree.
Lee Cooper : Totally agree with you on this respect!
Thamps : True, should not have expectations, but then again, it is just human nature to like things to happen I guess.
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What does it mean when a couple commits themselves to each other?
I think expectation is part and parcel of commitment. When moving from friendship into courtship and then into marriage, one is expected the other to love, to protect, to provide and to remain faithful for the other.
Expectation is not the root of unhappiness. Taking the other partner granted is.
leecooper: let's assume i'm not taking X for granted. I cherish her and I'm expecting something from her, eq. hardworking, smart, or humorous. She's unable to fulfill it and I will start to feel not happy and unsatisfied.
The seed of the problem has been sown ...
phoenich
hmm.. isn't she hardworking, smart and humorous when you first fell in love with her?
If she is not, is it right for you to expect her to do so?
If it is right and she's not hardworking, smart and humorous, is it right to feel unhappy when she is just being the person you fell in love with?
A boy falls in love with a girl…
When they were just friends, he dreamed of holding her hands but is contented that she pays attention to him.
When they are dating, he dreamed of kissing her but is contented that she lets him hold her hands.
When she allows him to kiss her, he wished they could make love together. They finally did slept together but he breaks up with her for not showing enough love to sleep with him as often as he wished.
Had the boy expected too much? Would he still have these expectation had he not taken the girl for granted?
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