Lilypie

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Of Diaries And Journals

A few days back, I went with my colleague into a stationery shop. She is in charge of ordering and stock taking stationery for the entire office, but the regular suppliers were not able to come in this week, and some of the staff need stationery urgently, so we went to get the items requested. While browsing, I came across a few thick blank books with lines so I bought them to use as diaries.

I keep telling myself once my diary has finished, I want to migrate everything online and continue as a private blog, for my eyes only. But when I saw the blank books, I could not help it and just bought them. Afterall, typing everything is not the same as actual writing. Somehow I feel more indifferent typing because it is just like doing normal work, be it assignments or office work. Whereas if I use a pen and start writing, I get more emotionally involved, sometimes my tears will come and leave blots on the pages, my handwriting will range from cursive to typeset (depending on my mood and how fast my train of thoughts are), and the pressure on the pen will range from hard to soft, also depending on how my mood is, and I can doodle on the pages, whenever I feel like drawing anything.

Or maybe I am just a traditionalist who still feels most comfortable with traditional methods. That is why I never keep up with anything new. It is only recently I started having a mobile phone that is more advanced, get a laptop, install a webcam, and even my digital camera and MP3 player is about a couple of generations behind. With all the movie and series and music downloads, I still choose to go to the movies, watch the telly and listen to CDs and radio shows. People will wonder how old I really am!

But anyway, back to my diaries. The reason I get more journals simply can be I am still not ready to migrate everything online. So the next question is, what is my blog for? Good question. As it is, my blog is also like another diary of sorts, although of course real private and intimate details are in my diary, where I can really write without reserve. My blog is like an extension of me, where I rave and rant, but my diary is simply where I note down all the things which are not convenient to be made in cyberspace.

So there. Two different types of journals catering to two different types of writing. Whereas in my blog, I have to be more wary of what I write, although many can see I write without much reserve too, and I have to edit to get the proper grammar and phrases, but in my diary, I can just let go. I do not care about spelling or punctuation or grammar, or even vulgarities, as it is just whatever that comes into my mind and my mood at that moment. My blog can be accessible by others, thus more impersonal to a certain extent, whereas my diary is really strictly for my eyes only, because certain passages may contain defamatory statements which will offend others.

How long will I continue like this? For the rest of my life I hope. I love writing, and nothing will ever make me give it up. One day when I am old and grey and senile, maybe I can look back on what I have written and wonder why in the world I did what I did.

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