What Is A Perfect Couple?

I always admire those "perfect couples" around. Of course, perfect couples do not mean that their lives are perfect. Life is always full of ups and downs, happiness and sadness, quarrels and make ups. A perfect couple simply means someone of a "fairytale" romance, who loves each other deeply and work things out despite facing all the ups and downs.

I have come across a few "perfect couples" in my lifetime so far. One is my elder cousin. Hers was not exactly "love at first sight" or the "fairytale romance". She met the guy who would be her future husband at a dance class whom she brought some of her female friends along. Coincidentally he brought some of his male friends along for the dance class. One of the girls know one of the guys so the whole group went out together, had fun, group chatted and essentially just hung out.

Then cupid struck. Since then they have been inseparable. He would accompany her wherever she went, went to her place to mingle and help out her parents, went to my grandmother's place and mingled with my extended relatives, spend every Christmas, New Year and public holidays with her, and essentially was so into her. He would bring us cousins out as and when and is like an elder brother to me.

It is not as if he has lots of time to spare, he has a full time job too, yet he spent all his time with her. I used to think this is the kind of guy I would like - someone so into me that he really makes me feel so loved all over and so well taken care of.

Then my younger cousin who is recently married. She least expected to be with someone who was not even from the same country, much less he. But a chance meeting led them to know each other, and since then they were also inseparable, shuttling between here and down under ever so often.

This made me feel ashamed of my own fellow man. I have heard of relationships who break up simply because one went on a month's business trip or the person need to travel often for work. Or relationships who break up simply because they guy found the girl too "demanding". Or they did not like each other's family members.

Why did the guy never once thought he was demanding? We have people who do not see each other for weeks and months on end, yet still could end up getting married and being so in love with each other. How can little things like "I don't like this movie but you like so we are not compatible", or "I cannot take you travelling so often", or "I don't like your parents" even be an issue to anyone?

I cannot profess that I am in the perfect relationship myself. We definitely did not start off as a fairy tale. In fact I did not want to have anything to do with him in the beginning. Even now, I would not say he is that into me, as in yes, he accompanies me, willing to mingle with my family members, nice to me, but he is not the initiative or proactive type. He is the super laid-back kind of guy, so much so that he never bothers actually taking action to do anything on his own initiative. Many a times, I have to tell him what to do before he knows what he needs to do.

And his parents. They are really getting on my nerves with their emotional blackmails and their unreasonable behaviours. But still, being in a relationship is not about loving the perfection of the person and family, but being able to bear the imperfection. So just give and take and tolerate.

A perfect couple is what the couple makes of it. No one is that lucky to be in such a perfect relationship, but it is how we make out of it. We cannot have what we want all the time, but we can make the most of what God gave us, and work things out amongst ourselves.

You've Got M@il! - Redux

In my insomniac state, I started watching all the movies which I loved. Then I came to this movie - You've Got M@il!, starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. I first came across this when I was a university freshman. That point in time, emails were still new and schools were still experimenting with them. There were not any web-based email accounts and the account my dad applied for was by a service provider which was then shared amongst everyone in the family.

So the thought of finding love through email was a novelty. I grew up during the time where writing letters is a form of getting to know people. Actually, I still believe in the old-fashioned way of writing letters, I just find that so much more personal than writing a mere email.

But nowadays it is very common to use email since you get instant reply and need not wait days or weeks for others to reply you, you save money on postage, paper and stationery, and so many people have met through online portals, chatlines, emails and even social networking sites. In fact, if you tell people now that you write and exchange letters, people will only stare and jeer you in the face.

But somehow, posting on a Wall, sending an email and connecting through pokes and messages does not feel the same as actually writing a letter. It is just so much more personal. If someone actually bothers to source for beautiful stationery, put pen to paper, think about what to write and mail it out or hand me personally, this kind of effort is commendable.

Unfortunately, most people nowadays take the easy way out and just sit behind their computers and send out a mail. Granted that one needs to think when typing out an email too, but then these are just type-written words. Nothing beats the sincerity of a hand-written word.

Of course emails are convenient. You can send photos, attachments, even jokes and messages at just the click of a mouse, all without needing to pay extra postage and using an extra envelope. But when the person receives your email, what then? How would you know whether the person is smiling, laughing, angry, sad or touched? I would want to see the person's face when I send him or her a touching email, a personalised message or just a normal joke or something that can cheer someone up.

Nevertheless, emails are an important tool in today's communication. Without emails, businesses can never be as efficient nor do things as quickly. Emails has got to be one of the greatest invention ever, but to me, still nothing beats writing letters because that is just so much more personalised, especially writing to a loved one and expressing very private and intimate thoughts which can only be shared with a special someone.

Insomnia!

For some reason, I have had trouble sleeping lately. I do not know if it is due to work stress or there is something deeper, but somehow I have not been able to feel at peace and at ease. Maybe it is the fact that I did not get confirmed, or the fact that I feel so so so tired everyday from so many things.

Maybe I am just getting old. I have heard that the older one gets, the earlier they tend to sleep but the less they sleep. No longer can I take late night clubbings and no longer can I stay awake chatting into the middle of the night or the wee hours of the morning.

But my sleep-deprived mode is getting to me. Now I look so tired everyday and have dark eye circles which no amount of cosmetics can ever hide. Seems that I need to meditate more in order to get more sleep!

Farewell Lunch To A Colleague

My predecessor is leaving for greener pastures, so we brought her to this restaurant called Coriander Leaf, a fusion place, for lunch. (For details of the food and ambience, please refer to this.)

We hitched two cabs to go to the place. The cab I was in happened to lose its way and we ended up making a big round to the venue. What made it worse was that the building the restaurant was in had 2 ways in, and we ended up taking the elevator instead of the stairs, and it did not stop at the restaurant. So we had to go down again and take the stairs up, as it seems that the restaurant is like a mezzanine instead of in the main building itself.

We had a good time mingling over food, sharing stories of our working and travelling experiences, and enjoying each other's company. Food was another matter though, and although the restaurant prides itself on being a cooking school, somehow the food is not up to par.

Still it was a new place to experience, and I am sure going to miss her when she leaves next week!

Nobility Or Stupidity?

I have come across many people who, for some reason, do not feel ready to be in a relationship or marriage and then they start to do things to make the partner angry in a bid to get rid of the partners. I always wonder why they do that, until someone told me that they are doing that so the partner will not suffer.

Now I wonder if that is just being noble or stupid? In the first place, if A is with B, then I believe A should have known what B is like and accepts B the way he / she is, otherwise what is the use of even starting with anyone? So if B feels that he / she is not meeting up to standards and feel A is better off with someone else and B starts behaving in a way that is totally intolerable to A, is B then being noble or just plain stupid?

If it is just a one-sided feeling of B that he / she feels A is not happy, why did he / she not talk it out with A? How would he / she knows that A is feeling the same way? So if B chooses to be "noble" and just disappear simply because he / she does not wishes to be a burden anymore, is it not a very cowardly and stupid way? How would A feel then? Has B ever considered the feelings that A may feel angry, disappointed, deserted, and wondered what happened in the first place?

Hence if a person feels stifled or lost in a relationship, is it not better to talk it out and clarify with the other person rather than pull a disappearing act or behave in a way to chase the other person away? Afterall, if one cannot even talk to the partner, then who else can one talk to?

A Confirmation Meeting

I am really upset. Suddenly my confidence has been shattered and my life seemed a bit topsy-turvy. On the other hand, perhaps because I was too overly confident, that I thought this would never happened to me again.

What triggered this off was that I sat for a confirmation meeting today. I had been in the company for close to three months and so I was supposed to be due for confirmation. When I went in, the first thing my boss said was that they would like to extend my probation. When I heard that, I thought, "WHAT?!"

In the first place, no one had given me any feedback about my (lack of) performance. In fact, I had been appreciated, thanked, and even told I had been doing a great job so far. So why this? I really did not understand.

Then my boss said that it was partly their fault, that they did not tell me their expectations in the first place. He said perhaps in my previous workplaces, I did whatever I was told, but here, they expected much more initiative and to work much more independently than to be guided or handheld. In other words, I had to do what a practitioner would be doing, except without the license.

Hmmmm... that is a bit confusing actually. In the first place, there are a lot of things I cannot do simply because I do not have the practicing license. It is against the law to do anything without a license. Hence I cannot fight in court, nor represent someone in any dispute, nor handle major dispute or transactional cases. The only things I can do are to review contracts, due diligence, give clear cut advise and essentially more menial work than what a practitioner will do.

And now I am told I am expected to do what a practitioner is supposed to be doing? That makes me feel really down, because I have never worked so much or so hard in any other company before, yet this is the first company I have been in that tells me I am not confirmed without even telling me in advance! Even as late as last week, my boss still gave me a smile and said he was looking forward to our confirmation meeting!

I was so down for the whole day, and then at the end of the day, my General Counsel called me into his room and told me that in light of my colleague having a shift in responsibilities, he would like me to take over as the Global Compliance Counsel for Asia. I was speechless of course. First, I was not confirmed because for some reason my performance was not up to par, and now I am supposed to be taking over a bigger role?

Nevertheless, I am happy to take on more responsibilities. Hopefully after this I can get confirmed. I guess all I need to do is to ensure I meet up to expectations and perhaps here, the expectations are really higher due to the nature of the company and the job scope. I just pray and hope for the best!

Physical Or Electronic Filing?

Today my department embarked on a new project. We spent the whole day in discussion about the benefits of electronic filing versus physical filing. When one works in a law firm, there are volumes and volumes of physical files. Every correspondence, draft and discussion has to be filed into a paper file. I have seen secretaries spending the whole day doing nothing but printing and filing.

I always thought all these filings are a waste of time. With emails and internet, can one not just refer to the emails and then read from there? Why do we need a physical file only to reproduce the same thing over again?

But when I started working in-house, I realise that there is no filing system. Everything was just reproduced in the email system or on their own computers. This cuts down on a lot, but at the same time when those people left the company, it gets rather tedious trying to find out information especially if you were not kept in the loop.

And then one of my former supervisors told me to make copies of all originals, and file the copies in arch files. Those will be used for reference, whereas the originals will be kept in the fire safe. This method bode well until the auditors started coming and they insisted on seeing the originals, even the signed and stamped copy would not do, then I had to scramble around trying to find out where the originals were kept.

After that when I moved on to another company, the correspondences and copies were not filed, but actual signed originals were filed. This system works very well actually, because then we know where all the documentation is and the auditors are also happy with us for being able to supply them with whatever they wanted.

Now in this company, I see that our Executive Assistant is always printing and filing documents. But now that we are embarking on an electronic filing system platform, perhaps things will be easier because by then, it takes a fraction of a time to sort documents out and will not be so tedious anymore.

Which is why we spent the whole day today discussing what is needed, what items to file, what categories and what matters we have worked on or are working on. Yet while I was in the meeting the whole day, suddenly all the urgent matters start coming. I need to handle and then be in the meeting at the same time. It is always like this, whenever we did not receive anything, it is so lax, but when things start coming, they really start coming at the same time!

Enhancing Spirituality

After the inspiring mass yesterday, I have decided to improve my spiritual life. Just by attending CHOICE, teaching Cathechism and attending church is not enough. I need something to really believe in. I am not saying I do not believe in God, but at times, I always wonder why is it my prayers never come true?

I know people will say prayers take time and whatnot, but sometimes, we really cannot afford to wait. What if we need things right now so that our future can be secure? What if we need answers that will not clash with our own body's biology?

I guess patience is never really my virtue. Perhaps I should say I am task-oriented and focused, if I embark on something, I expect it to be done. I get very stressed up if I am left hanging, or if I do something else first before coming to finish what I originally started. I do not function this way. I can multi-task and whatnot, but I ensure I finish everything instead of starting on this, give it up halfway, then do something else, give it up halfway and then go back and do the original thing again. I get very stressed if I do that, and I cannot tolerate someone doing that as well because by doing this, others who are involved in some way or another are being held up.

So I have decided to embark on enhancing my spirituality. CHOICE is one thing, but now that I am a presenter, I only get to present a weekend once a year. It is not the same as experiencing all the weekends throughout.

Cathechism is one too, and I get to learn more about God this way, but again, it is only an hour a week. My faith does not really improve in just that hour. Attending mass and whatnot is the same - it is the same routine, the same homily. Somehow the spirituality is no longer there.

Which is why I have decided to go for a Conversion Experience Retreat. In fact, a friend told me about this early last year, but I thought there is no point in going to so many retreats. Then later on, another friend told me about this. And then this year, someone else mentioned about this. Well, if three different people tell me about the same thing, it should be a sign, right?

That was when I decided to go for it. It is too late to submit for any earlier retreats, hence I have decided to go for the one in June. Hopefully I will be able to go for it as apparently, the retreats are so popular that it is always fully booked within the first week of registration.

Then after reading the Catholic News yesterday, I have also decided to go for a healing retreat to get rid of whatever I am feeling, and whatever I have not been able to come to terms with. Maybe only with God's blessing and help, I can make myself better. By improving spirituality, I hope also to be a much better person in that way, which will ultimately improve my relationships with everyone around me.

That is not a bad thing right? I only hope I can make these retreats this year, because next year I will have other things to focus on already.

A Message From Above?

Today I went to the church where I got baptised and confirmed. I always love this church. It is situated on a hill with a Gothic look, double spires and the interior is big, spacious and filled with stained glass windows. Most importantly, it has a very long aisle, really a perfect looking church, the church of my dreams, which I never thought I could ever find it here! Of course, it is not Westminster Abbey or any of those grand old churches in the European countries, but it is good enough. It is the closest to a grand church we can have.

We came here for mass because we happened to be in the area, and since the timing was good, we just stepped inside. One good thing about Catholics is that we can go to any church, unlike some of the other Christians I know, who can only attend the church they belong to or are baptised in and not any others.

And it seems to be a good thing I went in. It seems that God is trying to tell me something. There have been some issues which I have been pondering over for a long while now. I have not been able to resolve them on my own. I used to bury them and then pretend that everything was alright, that everything was normal, but in the past few months, these issues have resurfaced. There was a nagging feeling inside to tell me to do something, but what?

I am not sure what coincidence it is that brought me to this church, but when I went in, and got a copy of the Catholic News, the answer was in front of my eyes. The strangest thing is that, I do not normally get the Catholic News because in my own church, it is always in some obscure corner which I do not normally pass by, or else it would have been out of stock by the time I get there.

But in this church, the Catholic News is right by the entrance, hence I took a copy. And the moment I opened the newspaper, the answer came right in front of me! Is that divine intervention or what?

Now I know what I need to do. Question is, is it my time to actually do it yet, or shall I wait a while longer? If that is the case, then why the answers right now at this time? Only time will tell if that is indeed the chosen path for me.

CSI : The Exhibition

I have wanted to go for the CSI exhibition ever since they started in October. But after putting off and other things taking priority, today we finally made it a point to go because it was the last day.

When we arrived there, the big round banner greeted us. But when we went inside, I realise that due to low light and the fragility of the exhibits, we were not allowed to take any photos. What a pity! :-(

The exhibition started by us being given a form. It was a questionnaire where we had to investigate a crime scene. There were three crime scenes altogether and I had to investigate and get clues from the third crime scene.

I must say, the crime scene is so easy! The clues are so obvious and all the hints are already there! I solved the case within five minutes. Then we decided to go to the other two crime scenes, but there were just as easy and clear cut.

I must say, it was not up to what I expected. To make it more challenging, it would be good to make the crime scenes more challenging and more red herrings thrown into the clues. Okay, maybe it is unfair to everyone else who is not legally trained and have not grown up on Agatha Christie's perfect murders, but still, I think those crime scenes can be a bit more challenging by making others work harder to find clues instead of the clues being right in front of one's faces.

After solving the three crime scenes, we had to key in our analysis and conclusions into the computers on the scene. There was a long queue and we waited around ten minutes for our turns to key in. After that, we went into a small room, where there was "real" crime scene and we had to find out clues all by ourselves. This was a bit better, but still very easy. I got the crime solved in a matter of minutes.

Overall it was a rather interesting experience, although I would prefer it to be more challenging. The crime scenes look so much better on television, but then again, television tends to dramatise matters. Maybe the crime scenes are really that straightforward in real life?

Now I cannot wait to start watching all the CSI series again!

A Clay Pot?

I went for the first CHOICE follow-up today. The follow-ups are supposed to be within one to two weeks after the particular weekend, but because it was during the Lunar New Year period, the follow-ups were postponed and today was the first.

In every follow-up, there would always be a story and sharing of self-discovery and inspiration, as well as a photo language, where the participants were to choose one photo which represent them at that moment in time.

The last two times, I chose photos with people. This time round, I chose a clay pot. For some reason, the picture of a clay pot appealed to me. It reminds me of the famous scene from "Ghost", where he came back from the dead to protect her and love her.

That aside, I chose the clay pot because I have always been interested in pottery. But also, I find there is a deeper symbolism to a clay pot - how something strong, sturdy and beautiful developed from nothing, or a mess of clay. Something messy becomes something unique and artistic.

And to me, life is like that. My life, others' lives. Those who went through messy periods, errors of youth, after lots of moulding, cutting, pressing and trials and errors, before something unique, beautiful, strong and sturdy emerges. And that, is the essence of the meaning of life!

My Own "Transformer"...

I just got a foldable bicycle, perfect for the Cycling Challenge next month! Foldable bicycles are so convenient because we can just fold them up and bring onto public transport, including the bus and train, and when we need to use, we just open them up again.

The one I got is a bit big though, I would much prefer it if it is a smaller one then will be lighter. As it is, the body frame is a bit heavy, although I am still able to carry it in one hand when it is folded up.

Some people may ask how foldable bicycles work? It is actually like Transformers, when those vehicles transform into robots. This is the step-by-step guide to how to close and open a foldable bicycle :

The bicycle when it is fully folded up

Step 1 : Pull the two wheels apart so one is in front and the other behind, separating only by the main frame.

Step 2 : After separating the wheels, from the main body (the one attaching to the wheels), pull up and lock this bolt into place. Turn the bolt to the left and catch it into the little hole at the side until it is locked firmly.

Step 3 : Once the body is locked firmly in place, lift up the handle. Ensure the two black strings are facing the front and grip the handle bar tightly.

Step 4 : Once the handle bar is lifted up and gripped tightly, pull down this handle lock and ensure it catches. This is to prevent the handle from moving too much while cycling.

Voila! The "completed" bicycle!

Is The Book Business Dying Out?

There is an article today about Borders, the giant bookstore chain, going bankrupt. I am not sure if they will pull out the store here, because if they do, it is a disaster indeed as I will no longer find any good books around anymore.

Borders is the first bookstore and cafe concept to open here, back in the mid-1990s. In those days, it was hard to find really good books around. Most of the time, I end up going to the library, or to local bookstores where there is not much variety, or else I will buy my books overseas from Harris when I went to Australia.

Then the Japanese bookstore Kinokuniya came. Even though it has a wide range of books, but most of the time, it is filled with, erh, Japanese books. So when Borders opened its doors, I started hanging out there all the time. The variety is humongous - from reference books to fiction to non-fiction to cookbooks. Many of my university textbooks were bought in Borders.

I remember those days when I was still a poor student, I would go to Borders, pick out a book I like, then hide in a corner and started reading. I never got caught because I always finished the book within a couple of hours, then returned it back to the shelf. The book looks as good as new because I always handle it with care. I absolutely hate anyone reading a book or flipping through the covers and returning it with the covers tattered and folded. The least one can do is to learn how to take care of a book properly!

Now with the internet age, I no longer step into Borders that often. I would always order online. I guess due to this, the bookstore itself is not making any profits because most people prefer to order books online now, or worse, download e-books or just read everything off the internet.

A few months back, I wrote a post on how electronic media can never be compared to print media. I still concur to this. No matter how much you read off smartphones, or the internet or iPads or Kindle, it is never the same having a physical book in your hands. Yes, I know electronic versions do not cost money, I know it is saving the trees, but there are other ways to save money and there are other ways to save the trees. Improving your knowledge and language is worth every penny.

It is just like downloading movies instead of going to the cinema. Or downloading songs instead of listening to a CD or iPod. Call me old-fashioned or out with the times, but I much prefer seeing the big screen in the movies as compared to the small screen on my computer or laptop. I much prefer listening to the CDs on my clock radio-CD player instead of downloading songs and listening off my computer or laptop. And if I go travelling, I can always burn all the songs from my CDs into my iPod Shuffle.

I really hope Borders will not pull its store from the local shore. There is only one Borders store here, and if that goes, it will be a disaster! No longer will I be able to relieve my younger days and enjoy hanging out there anymore!

The God Of Song

Jacky Cheung is coming again! Ever since I attended his concert two years back, I have been hoping for the chance that he may come again. And now he is coming! He will be having a few days of performance in August, but when I checked the ticketing website earlier, seems that most days have been sold out!

He is still so popular! I really hope I have the chance to go watch him again! Who can ever beat the God of Song? No one has ever had a voice like his, nor able to carry off a tune like him! He is really one singer that will become a legend, if he already is not one!

My New Sneakers ....

I was doing some window shopping after lunch, when I saw sales on shoes and sneakers at the atrium of the shopping mall opposite my office building. My sneakers have been worn out since we went ghost hunting last year, so I have been looking for new sneakers since then.

Sneakers is an essential feet item (besides ankle straps, sandals, flip-flops and ballet flats), especially if I plan to go travelling, those seem to be the most comfortable pair of shoes ever (besides the Timberland suede boots), and if I ever get in the mood of going running or other form of sports.

So my colleague and I took a look at the sale items, and I saw such nice pair of sneakers, at incredible prices! It cost less than S$20.00 a pair, which is a very big deal because most sneakers average around S$50.00 a pair (and that is after discount as well), to the original price of around S$100.00 or even S$200.00 for a very good brand.

When I saw a pair I like and have my size, I tried it on and it fits me perfectly! Now I have a new pair of sneakers which I plan to utilise one way or other. Hopefully it will not wear out so fast!

My new sneakers. Beautiful pair, is it not?

On A Reading Frenzy?

All of a sudden, I am having a reading marathon. I used to have these "read-a-thons" back in my school days when there was nothing much to do, since my parents did not allow me to go out nor watch any television, so when I was bored, I started reading. And a good thing it is, because I always feel nowadays many people do not read enough.

In any case, in recent years, my reading has decreased drastically. One reason is work. You spend all hours working and really have no time to do anything else. Another reason is social life. When I start going out with friends, having fun, then later started being involved in religious work and then started dating, one really does not have that much time for one's own leisures anymore.

I used to average twenty-five books a month, then later on ten books a month, and now, it seems to be a good thing if I can even finish one book a month. That is how much I have deteriorated. So this year, I made a resolution to myself to go through at least two books a month, and slowly increase along the way.

For the past two weeks, I have finished three books. Not a bad feat! I started reading again on public transport, while I was on the bus or the train. I started reading when I was out with my boyfriend, when we were waiting for the bus or train or just waiting for the food to come. By doing this, I realise I can get through a book much quicker.

Now my love for reading has increased. I have always been passionate about books and the beauty of the words in a page, but I have never imagined ever giving it lesser priority than anything else in my life. I totally regret doing that, because reading is really a pleasure beyond any description.

I will never let my love of the books slide again! I plan to go through at least two books a month and more if possible!

Is There No Privacy Anymore?

Due to the influx of social media, many people's lives are now being "broadcasted". We can have videos uploaded about people sleeping on trains and someone else recording every twitch, itch, scratch and drool. The next moment, one sees himself / herself being the main star of a movie on the world wide web.

Today my dear showed me a video which someone just uploaded on You Tube. This girl was drawing cash from an automated machine at a certain train station. She was about to leave when she bumped into her boyfriend ... with another girl ... on Valentine's Day (yesterday).

Can just imagine what happened after that. The unfortunate girl confronted her boyfriend, saying that he told her he had to work late and so could not celebrate Valentine's Day with her, yet he is now out with another girl! The other girl (who is prettier and better-dressed) then said, the guy is her boyfriend, they have been together for six months! To which the first girl said they have been together for a year!

And the guy in question? He just kept quiet, enjoying (?) the exchange between the two girls. Finally the first girl got so upset that she went to hit out at the guy, and then he pushed her. She was crying, but the guy did not wish to make a scene, so he just left with the other girl, and the first girl then composed herself and went off.

Whoever who was taking the video recorded down everything - every word, action, the whole drama. Now, if I am the people in question, I think I would not appreciate the whole world knowing what happened to me. Telling stories is one thing, but showing and broadcasting images to everyone else is another thing.

I guess in this era where all the information can be found so readily at your fingertips, there is no real privacy anymore. Anyone can just whip out a camera and take photos and videos and upload them so readily. No prior permission needs to be sought anymore.

Still, that does not mean one has the right to broadcast another person's "dirty laundry". What others do is none of anyone's business. What I say about my own life and actions, what I say about others who allowed me to share, and what I complain and whine about things that frustrate me, is still myself and my own actions to account for, not others.

Even when I present in CHOICE, I do not mind sharing my experiences and things I have gone through to those around me. But it is another thing altogether if they record my sharing and then broadcast to the whole world. Which is why we always tell the participants that what went on in the room stay in the room, and keep all sharings private and confidential to only those of that particular weekend.

To me, I much prefer to leave others to their own privacies. There is no necessity for anyone to go broadcasting others' lives. Even in this age of advanced technology, people should still be entitled to their own privacy and not go around being recognised or pointed at simply because someone has uploaded some video of them without their knowledge.

First Valentine's Day Celebration ...

Tonight was our first Valentine's Day celebration! Technically, it was our second Valentine's Day, but since last year Valentine's Day fell on the first day of the Lunar New Year, this was our first celebration.

He brought me to the same restaurant where we had our first date - a classy French restaurant happened to own by his friend, situated at the Indoor Stadium. Coincidentally, we sat at exactly the same spot too! (For a review of the food, please refer here.)

Today was crowded and noisy because Eric Clapton happened to be having his concert at the Indoor Stadium upstairs. We ordered the set which consisted of soup, main course and dessert. I ordered french onion soup (what else?!), a beouf burgignon and vanilla peach tart and he mushroom soup, a lamb shank and creme brulee (which came in three different flavours).

The best part is that, whilst other places jacked up their prices on this day, the price for this place remained constant. We did not even have to pay any extra and there was no special Valentine's Day menu. Overall, it was worth it! Food was secondary as compared to the ambience of love and great company!

Oh, and the gifts? These came to me in my office and I love them! Darling, I love you too!

Demon Possession?

"The Rite" is a true story about demon possession, and how a young sceptical priest-in-training had to believe before he could successfully exorcise the demon. At the end of the credits, it was stated that out of all the priests in the United States, only less than ten percent are exorcists.

Is demon possession really possible? Under what circumstances do one get possessed by the devil or evil spirit? Here, we have a series of books known as the "True Ghost Stories", but just how many of the stories are really true, no one actually knows. If anything, I believe those stories are more to entertain than to scare.

There used to be a very scary show called "The Exorcist". This was during my parents' era. I remember years ago, there was the tenth or so anniversary of "The Exorcist" and the cinemas were showing that movie again. I asked my parents to bring me to watch the show, and my mum absolutely forbade, citing the reason that it is too scary and will bring untold damage to my mind.

My boyfriend told me when he was watching "The Exorcist", his flat actually shook, as if there really was something there. His is a Catholic house, and maybe that is what saved him. Since then, he never touched that show ever again.

A few years back, there was the Novena exorcism saga. A lady who claimed to be possessed, asked one of the priests in the Church of St Alphonsus (otherwise known as the Novena Church), to perform an exorcism. I am not sure what entailed, but this case became a big case because the priest was sued for wrongful exorcism which triggered off emotional damages. The case went to court and during the few days' hearing, many Catholics went to sit in for the trial.

If I am not mistaken, I believe the court ruled in favour of the priest, as there was no evidence that the woman was really possessed, or she was just faking all her actions. Which makes me wonder, how is there going to be any evidence of demon possession? Do you have to fly or crawl on the ceiling or turn your head a full circle before people are convinced?

I shudder to imagine what a real demon possession will be like. I hope never to come across things like this in the course of my life!

Friends ... With Benefits

I just came back from watching the show "No Strings Attached". It is a romantic comedy about two kids who met each other in camp during their teenage years, and then happened to meet again ten years later, and then saw each other again a few years after that, which was when they started a "friends with benefits" relationship - seeing each other whenever they felt like a romp.

However, the guy started taking things seriously and wanted to really be with her, but she was afraid of being hurt, hence kept rejecting his advances and his feelings. Finally he could take it no more and told her he could not see her anymore since they were on different paths, but when he was out of her life, she really missed him very much and decided to chase him back.

Of course, in a movie, there will mostly be a happy ending. But in real life, do "friends with benefits" actually work? It probably may not work for a girl, but it sure is no problem for a guy. Afterall, many guys I know have no qualms sleeping around and not be tied down. Of course it does not matter to a guy, he is not the one who will have his emotions triggered, he does not need to be the girl's boyfriend, does not need to take responsibility, and yet still have a healthy amount of sex anytime he likes. Which guy will not like this?

But not so to a girl. I will not say for all because I believe there are many girls who sleep around without feeling guilty as well. But generally, if a girl is to sleep with someone, it normally means she loves him very very much and trusts him explicitly to yield herself totally to him. All the more so if she is a virgin and agrees to lose her virginity to the guy, he must be someone she really feels she can depend and rely on.

Unfortunately, guys simply do not think the same way. They deem it a conquest to be able to get a girl to bed him, especially if she is a virgin. They then get their egos boosted up, throw her aside after she yields and go on more conquests. In other words, they totally lose their interests in her after they have had their fun, without caring the trauma, depression and feelings of betrayal the girl will feel.

What is it about men that they seem to find it a fetish to destroy a girl's life like that? Do men think we are not humans with emotions, but objects of their fancies and desires, to be played with and then thrown aside once they tire of us? Or that they are gods where we have to kowtow to and go according to their schedules and sleep with them whenever they summoned?

It is hard to find a guy who is willing to take the responsibility to a girl in this day and age. Most like to play around and have fun, without caring whether the girl feels the same way. To them, if they feel they cannot progress anymore, they just disappear, but they have never once considered the impact on their actions to the girl in question.

Are we females forever subjugated to what our male counterparts want? Then it is very sad indeed, that in this modern day and age, there is still no equality of the sexes and men still think girls have to submit to whatever they want and do whatever they like to us.

We live in a sad world indeed.

The Chingay Parade

Today is the day of the Chingay Parade. As volunteers, we were given free tickets to watch the entire parade. It is the first time for me watching Chingay so I brought along my camera. Unfortunately, the place is too far away and the dance movements were too quick, hence most of my pictures turned out blurry. :-(

But the dance sequence was spectacular! Everyone there really showed the passion for dance! Imagine being clad in costume and heavy makeup, and move, jump and dance around in tropical weather like this is no easy feat!

The whole show lasted around two hours. Because it was full of people, we ended up being sweaty and hot. This is what comes of living in the tropics, the humidity itself makes everyone perspire! At times I wish I live in more temperate regions, so even with hot weather, it is not as sticky!

In any case, I managed to find some good pictures of the procession and the fireworks at the end, so enjoy!

The Flyer at night

The first procession - Convoy of Harley-Davidsons

The second procession - Antique cars

My favourite - the Star Wars' procession!

The light bulb found in our goodie bags

Fireworks at the end

Disheveled Schedule

Ever since I started working in this company, many things have been upset down. I can no longer keep normal office hours, because I have lots of work undone and all the urgent matters seem to come only around the end of the day. Hence I started staying late. Where I used to check my personal emails, twittering, being on Facebook and blogging, all these have slid because not only does my office blocks all these websites, but even throughout the course of the day, I have so much work that I have no time to be on any social portal at all.

Besides that, by the time I reached home, I am dead tired. I have no inclination to do anything else, I just feel like staying at home, even during the weekends as I feel so lethargic and lacking of energy. Have I really become old and over the hill, or am I just being too stressed, or have life been too easy for me that I find I can no longer take anything a bit harder?

I truly hope I can get used to all these and get back to the normal grind of life soon!

First Compliment Of The New Year

It is back to work after the long weekend. When I went into office and downloaded my emails, I read one which brought a smile to my face.

It was from a colleague overseas, who sent this to me, copied to the head of that respective department, "Thank you very much for all the help you rendered in our ongoing projects. We must admit that we cannot seem to keep up to your speed."

Wow... that really brought a big smile to my face! At least all my efforts seemed to be worth it! :-)

Meeting The Matriarch

Today we had the usual Lunar New Year dinner gathering with my mother's side. What make it even more special is that my mother invited my boyfriend along. She resisted for more than a year, always asking me to go alone to her family's gathering without my boyfriend, as she was afraid my maternal grandmother would not be happy. But this time round, she invited him along, which shows that she has accepted him as part of the family!

When my relatives started streaming in, I was apprehensive how my grandmother would react. My dear had learned Chinese until GCE 'O' Levels, but since he is not a Chinese and does not speak, he has not utilised the language for a long time. Hence he felt nervous greeting and conversing with my grandmother too.

But when my mother introduced them, my grandmother was all smiles. She asked about his race, and my mother explained that he is considered Eurasian, albeit darker skin than normal. Throughout dinner, he mingled with the rest of my family, and all gave him a red packet, including my grandmother. She even smiled and said goodbye to him when she left!

Looks like everything is turning out well! Now I only hope his family is just as receptive. Seems like there is still quite a lot of work to do for his side!

White Swan, Black Swan

This is by far one of the most intense movies I have ever watched! How did it lose out to Social Network during the Golden Globes I really cannot fathom! This is more of a psychological drama, where a ballerina who pushed herself too much, and started hallucinating about others trying to take on her role, and in the end she killed herself, thinking she killed the person who was "tormenting" her, before realising everything was in her mind, and her "tormentor" was in fact really herself.

But this show took on a new meaning for me. I have always loved the ballet "Swan Lake", and ever since I watched it two years back, I have always been awestruck by the gracefulness of the main character.

But this show brought out the essence of the ballet - Swan Lake itself is on the beauty and gracefulness of the white swan, and the jealousy, sensual, and backbiting of the black swan (the alter ego of the white swan). The white swan represents purity, sweetness and wholesomeness, whereas the black swan represents deceit, lies and lust.

I never really saw it that way, as all along, I thought the white swan is the good one and the black swan is the bad one, and the ballerina who took on the role just needed to ensure her dance steps are perfect, but after what the ballet master in the show remarked, "We have a perfect 'white swan', and a perfect 'black swan', but trouble is, who can play both?", I started to reflect on this point.

How true! Yes, even in staging a ballet, drama and expression are important. One can glide around gracefully and elegantly as the white swan, and one can piroutte sensually like the black swan, but who can actually do both and bring out both qualities at the same time? This kind of symbolises that humans have many faces, sometimes the good surfaces, and sometimes the ugly surfaces, and yet not many people can be both a Dr Jeckyll and Mr Hyde at the same time without repercussions to the mental well-being.

And that is the overall essence of the show. The main character could not do it. She could not surface both her white swan and black swan qualities, which was why she kept pushing herself and met her tragic end, even though she managed to achieve a breakthrough in the end and the show was overall a great success and received a standing ovation.

I give the movie a standing ovation too! It is one of the best movies I have watched! I sure hope this will win the Best Picture at the Academy Awards! Incidentally, seeing all the ballerinas piroutte and gliding so gracefully, makes me really yearn to want to dance again after so long! Maybe I can start to lose some weight too by doing that!

A Long New Year Weekend

This year's Lunar New Year started on a Thursday, so we got the whole weekend off. As usual, on the eve, we went to the temple where my late grandpa's altar is and paid our respects. Then we had our usual reunion dinner. My dear was invited again this year.

On Thursday (the first day), we did our own visiting. This year the rounds were changed a little. Usually we would go to my dad's brother's place, then my maternal grandmother's place, then my dad's cousin's place, and finally my dad's sister's place for lunch. After that it would be home where others would visit us, then after dinner we would go to my mum's sister's place.

This year because there are more days, we cut down on our visits. We went to my dad's brother's place, then my dad's cousin's place, then my maternal grandmother's place for lunch. She had cooked the usual longevity and fortune noodles. I got to see my newborn nephew (my cousin's second son) for the first time! After that we dropped by my dad's sister's place for a visit.

Then we went home and stayed home the rest of the day. Yesterday (the second day), we stayed home the whole day. No visiting and no visits from anyone. Then there was the family reunion of my dad's family at night. It used to be steamboat but this time round, my mum had the food catered.

Today, we are supposed to have a gathering at my friend's place. Tomorrow it would be another round of reunion of my mum's family. Seems like this weekend is quite relaxing and I can finally take a short break from work!

Start Of The Rabbit Year

Happy Rabbit Year to all the Chinese around the world! May this year bring you wealth, prosperity and abundance of health!

Date Renting?

I do not know about other countries where Lunar New Year is celebrated, but here, most singles I know dread the festive period, because it is the time for well-meaning yet busy-body relatives to ask, "So how old are you now?", "How come you are still single?", "When are you getting married?" and a whole series of related questions.

I used to get that all the time too, and I always shrug it off. They are just concerned and harmless. Besides, if they do not ask this, they would have nothing to talk to me about. But to many people of my generation, festive periods became a drag because they had to fend off all those questions, and concerned looks and the little gossiping behind their backs. People made it seem as if being single is a cardinal sin.

Hence this year, some dating agencies came up with the concept of date renting. Simply put, someone can go ask for a date just for the festive period. One way of looking at it is that the guy can bring the girl out visiting, pass her off as his girlfriend and then shut his relatives out. The guy is happy, the relatives are happy, the girl had fun, and both got to know each other.

Perhaps something could even develop out of this, provided they do keep in touch. But knowing the way local guys function, most likely they will want an ego boost, hence they may choose the prettiest and most elegant girls to be rented out, and then what? After the festive period, when the girl's "services" are no longer needed, what then? Will they still keep in contact, or will they just totally drop out of each other's lives as per the norm?

Okay, I make this sound like some kind of social escort. Forgive me if this is what it sounded like, but I feel the reason why local guys are still single is mostly on their own mentality and their social behaviour. They do not initiate contact, nor do they bother to keep in touch. I have experienced my fair share of these when I was under dating agencies.

The agency set up a date with you, hoping you two meet and then continue getting to know each other, but I notice guys simply do not bother. It is like they just want to meet the girl for the first time and that is it. If she does not match up to his looks, height, elegance, slimness or trophy girl criteria, he would not even bother behaving himself the rest of the date.

Then why bother spending the money and time if all you want is a trophy girl and not to actually go beyond the looks and give the girl a chance? I am not talking about those who look really frumpy or dowdy, but those girls who take pride in their appearance and spend time looking good for the date, yet the guys just give her a glance off and totally lose interest just because he thinks she is not pretty enough.

There are also some events where the organisers want many males and females to get together to socialise. The idea is socialise, not sit there and stare into thin air. Yet when people go for events like these, they are more interested to be the first in the buffet line than to actually talk to others, let alone the opposite sex.

Furthermore, men got scared off when a woman initiates the conversation, as if she is an alien. I believe I have mentioned before, if a man does not initiate a conversation and a woman initiates, why get scared off? Does he think every woman is willing to sit down and stare at him like what he does?

Ultimately, date renting only works if the girl is treated with the kind of respect as per a normal lady, and not as a social escort, used only to boost the man's ego and then totally forgotten after that. No girl is obligated to pander to a man's family if she is not involved with him, and for girls who are willing to be rented out, maybe it is for fun, for meeting new people, and also she too can escape her well-meaning relatives during this period. Hence guys please respect that and do not brush her off just because you think she is not supermodel material.

The bottom line is, both are doing each other favours, so respect each other and respect each other's families, and do it in the name of fun. What happens after that is up to the individual, but one should not use this opportunity to show off or satisfy one's ego in front of others.

A Company New Year Lunch

So I went back to work today, emotionally drained but luckily relatively better rested than previous nights. Just as well this week happened to be a short week, being the Lunar New Year week. Today we had half the day off as we had our Company Lunar New Year lunch, then tomorrow is the official eve of the Lunar New Year, and then the long Lunar New Year weekend.

I was supposed to be rushing work as I was not in office yesterday, but we could hardly get any work done at all, since we had the departmental meeting, followed by the quarterly company report, then after that, it was lunch already.

Lunch was in the ballroom of a hotel nearby. We got both current and outgoing Presidents with us, and the current President (of Asia, not the whole company) went around shaking hands, trying to wish us "Happy New Year" in Mandarin, and giving out the traditional red packets.

The hotel served us an eight-course banquet, typical of a normal Chinese sit-down wedding or celebration banquet. I must say, the food is nothing to rave about, but it was the get-together and mingling of the colleagues that I enjoyed more.

Lunch ended around two in the afternoon. By then I was so full that I could hardly move! This, plus the festive snacking during the new year period, I think I am going to put on more weight again instead of losing!

A Day Off That Turned Awry

Thank goodness I got my problem resolved last night, otherwise I do not think I can ever go to work today. Even though I am past the stage where I show my emotions to everyone, which is why some people wonder why I can be so "heartless" that I am upset one moment and then totally calm and treat as if nothing happened the next moment, still certain things do impact my life until I can hardly function. As to the "heartless" part, it is not as if I do not care, I just do not feel it appropriate to involve others in my own problems because ultimately it is between me and one other person and not the whole world.

In any case, luckily I took the day off due to the intensive weekend. It was supposed to be a day of rest and relax, but I hardly got any resting done. Instead I got more drained, emotionally drained that is. I never want to go through that kind of experience ever again! Once in a long while (and never again) is more than enough for me to bear! I am no longer that young to have the energy to face all these emotional turmoils anymore!