I do not know about other countries where Lunar New Year is celebrated, but here, most singles I know dread the festive period, because it is the time for well-meaning yet busy-body relatives to ask, "So how old are you now?", "How come you are still single?", "When are you getting married?" and a whole series of related questions.
I used to get that all the time too, and I always shrug it off. They are just concerned and harmless. Besides, if they do not ask this, they would have nothing to talk to me about. But to many people of my generation, festive periods became a drag because they had to fend off all those questions, and concerned looks and the little gossiping behind their backs. People made it seem as if being single is a cardinal sin.
Hence this year, some dating agencies came up with the concept of date renting. Simply put, someone can go ask for a date just for the festive period. One way of looking at it is that the guy can bring the girl out visiting, pass her off as his girlfriend and then shut his relatives out. The guy is happy, the relatives are happy, the girl had fun, and both got to know each other.
Perhaps something could even develop out of this, provided they do keep in touch. But knowing the way local guys function, most likely they will want an ego boost, hence they may choose the prettiest and most elegant girls to be rented out, and then what? After the festive period, when the girl's "services" are no longer needed, what then? Will they still keep in contact, or will they just totally drop out of each other's lives as per the norm?
Okay, I make this sound like some kind of social escort. Forgive me if this is what it sounded like, but I feel the reason why local guys are still single is mostly on their own mentality and their social behaviour. They do not initiate contact, nor do they bother to keep in touch. I have experienced my fair share of these when I was under dating agencies.
The agency set up a date with you, hoping you two meet and then continue getting to know each other, but I notice guys simply do not bother. It is like they just want to meet the girl for the first time and that is it. If she does not match up to his looks, height, elegance, slimness or trophy girl criteria, he would not even bother behaving himself the rest of the date.
Then why bother spending the money and time if all you want is a trophy girl and not to actually go beyond the looks and give the girl a chance? I am not talking about those who look really frumpy or dowdy, but those girls who take pride in their appearance and spend time looking good for the date, yet the guys just give her a glance off and totally lose interest just because he thinks she is not pretty enough.
There are also some events where the organisers want many males and females to get together to socialise. The idea is socialise, not sit there and stare into thin air. Yet when people go for events like these, they are more interested to be the first in the buffet line than to actually talk to others, let alone the opposite sex.
Furthermore, men got scared off when a woman initiates the conversation, as if she is an alien. I believe I have mentioned before, if a man does not initiate a conversation and a woman initiates, why get scared off? Does he think every woman is willing to sit down and stare at him like what he does?
Ultimately, date renting only works if the girl is treated with the kind of respect as per a normal lady, and not as a social escort, used only to boost the man's ego and then totally forgotten after that. No girl is obligated to pander to a man's family if she is not involved with him, and for girls who are willing to be rented out, maybe it is for fun, for meeting new people, and also she too can escape her well-meaning relatives during this period. Hence guys please respect that and do not brush her off just because you think she is not supermodel material.
The bottom line is, both are doing each other favours, so respect each other and respect each other's families, and do it in the name of fun. What happens after that is up to the individual, but one should not use this opportunity to show off or satisfy one's ego in front of others.
I used to get that all the time too, and I always shrug it off. They are just concerned and harmless. Besides, if they do not ask this, they would have nothing to talk to me about. But to many people of my generation, festive periods became a drag because they had to fend off all those questions, and concerned looks and the little gossiping behind their backs. People made it seem as if being single is a cardinal sin.
Hence this year, some dating agencies came up with the concept of date renting. Simply put, someone can go ask for a date just for the festive period. One way of looking at it is that the guy can bring the girl out visiting, pass her off as his girlfriend and then shut his relatives out. The guy is happy, the relatives are happy, the girl had fun, and both got to know each other.
Perhaps something could even develop out of this, provided they do keep in touch. But knowing the way local guys function, most likely they will want an ego boost, hence they may choose the prettiest and most elegant girls to be rented out, and then what? After the festive period, when the girl's "services" are no longer needed, what then? Will they still keep in contact, or will they just totally drop out of each other's lives as per the norm?
Okay, I make this sound like some kind of social escort. Forgive me if this is what it sounded like, but I feel the reason why local guys are still single is mostly on their own mentality and their social behaviour. They do not initiate contact, nor do they bother to keep in touch. I have experienced my fair share of these when I was under dating agencies.
The agency set up a date with you, hoping you two meet and then continue getting to know each other, but I notice guys simply do not bother. It is like they just want to meet the girl for the first time and that is it. If she does not match up to his looks, height, elegance, slimness or trophy girl criteria, he would not even bother behaving himself the rest of the date.
Then why bother spending the money and time if all you want is a trophy girl and not to actually go beyond the looks and give the girl a chance? I am not talking about those who look really frumpy or dowdy, but those girls who take pride in their appearance and spend time looking good for the date, yet the guys just give her a glance off and totally lose interest just because he thinks she is not pretty enough.
There are also some events where the organisers want many males and females to get together to socialise. The idea is socialise, not sit there and stare into thin air. Yet when people go for events like these, they are more interested to be the first in the buffet line than to actually talk to others, let alone the opposite sex.
Furthermore, men got scared off when a woman initiates the conversation, as if she is an alien. I believe I have mentioned before, if a man does not initiate a conversation and a woman initiates, why get scared off? Does he think every woman is willing to sit down and stare at him like what he does?
Ultimately, date renting only works if the girl is treated with the kind of respect as per a normal lady, and not as a social escort, used only to boost the man's ego and then totally forgotten after that. No girl is obligated to pander to a man's family if she is not involved with him, and for girls who are willing to be rented out, maybe it is for fun, for meeting new people, and also she too can escape her well-meaning relatives during this period. Hence guys please respect that and do not brush her off just because you think she is not supermodel material.
The bottom line is, both are doing each other favours, so respect each other and respect each other's families, and do it in the name of fun. What happens after that is up to the individual, but one should not use this opportunity to show off or satisfy one's ego in front of others.
1 comments:
The best thing for singletons to do during CNY is to take a holiday away from family and friends :-)
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