Lilypie

Monday, February 21, 2011

Enhancing Spirituality

After the inspiring mass yesterday, I have decided to improve my spiritual life. Just by attending CHOICE, teaching Cathechism and attending church is not enough. I need something to really believe in. I am not saying I do not believe in God, but at times, I always wonder why is it my prayers never come true?

I know people will say prayers take time and whatnot, but sometimes, we really cannot afford to wait. What if we need things right now so that our future can be secure? What if we need answers that will not clash with our own body's biology?

I guess patience is never really my virtue. Perhaps I should say I am task-oriented and focused, if I embark on something, I expect it to be done. I get very stressed up if I am left hanging, or if I do something else first before coming to finish what I originally started. I do not function this way. I can multi-task and whatnot, but I ensure I finish everything instead of starting on this, give it up halfway, then do something else, give it up halfway and then go back and do the original thing again. I get very stressed if I do that, and I cannot tolerate someone doing that as well because by doing this, others who are involved in some way or another are being held up.

So I have decided to embark on enhancing my spirituality. CHOICE is one thing, but now that I am a presenter, I only get to present a weekend once a year. It is not the same as experiencing all the weekends throughout.

Cathechism is one too, and I get to learn more about God this way, but again, it is only an hour a week. My faith does not really improve in just that hour. Attending mass and whatnot is the same - it is the same routine, the same homily. Somehow the spirituality is no longer there.

Which is why I have decided to go for a Conversion Experience Retreat. In fact, a friend told me about this early last year, but I thought there is no point in going to so many retreats. Then later on, another friend told me about this. And then this year, someone else mentioned about this. Well, if three different people tell me about the same thing, it should be a sign, right?

That was when I decided to go for it. It is too late to submit for any earlier retreats, hence I have decided to go for the one in June. Hopefully I will be able to go for it as apparently, the retreats are so popular that it is always fully booked within the first week of registration.

Then after reading the Catholic News yesterday, I have also decided to go for a healing retreat to get rid of whatever I am feeling, and whatever I have not been able to come to terms with. Maybe only with God's blessing and help, I can make myself better. By improving spirituality, I hope also to be a much better person in that way, which will ultimately improve my relationships with everyone around me.

That is not a bad thing right? I only hope I can make these retreats this year, because next year I will have other things to focus on already.

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