Lilypie

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Friends ... With Benefits

I just came back from watching the show "No Strings Attached". It is a romantic comedy about two kids who met each other in camp during their teenage years, and then happened to meet again ten years later, and then saw each other again a few years after that, which was when they started a "friends with benefits" relationship - seeing each other whenever they felt like a romp.

However, the guy started taking things seriously and wanted to really be with her, but she was afraid of being hurt, hence kept rejecting his advances and his feelings. Finally he could take it no more and told her he could not see her anymore since they were on different paths, but when he was out of her life, she really missed him very much and decided to chase him back.

Of course, in a movie, there will mostly be a happy ending. But in real life, do "friends with benefits" actually work? It probably may not work for a girl, but it sure is no problem for a guy. Afterall, many guys I know have no qualms sleeping around and not be tied down. Of course it does not matter to a guy, he is not the one who will have his emotions triggered, he does not need to be the girl's boyfriend, does not need to take responsibility, and yet still have a healthy amount of sex anytime he likes. Which guy will not like this?

But not so to a girl. I will not say for all because I believe there are many girls who sleep around without feeling guilty as well. But generally, if a girl is to sleep with someone, it normally means she loves him very very much and trusts him explicitly to yield herself totally to him. All the more so if she is a virgin and agrees to lose her virginity to the guy, he must be someone she really feels she can depend and rely on.

Unfortunately, guys simply do not think the same way. They deem it a conquest to be able to get a girl to bed him, especially if she is a virgin. They then get their egos boosted up, throw her aside after she yields and go on more conquests. In other words, they totally lose their interests in her after they have had their fun, without caring the trauma, depression and feelings of betrayal the girl will feel.

What is it about men that they seem to find it a fetish to destroy a girl's life like that? Do men think we are not humans with emotions, but objects of their fancies and desires, to be played with and then thrown aside once they tire of us? Or that they are gods where we have to kowtow to and go according to their schedules and sleep with them whenever they summoned?

It is hard to find a guy who is willing to take the responsibility to a girl in this day and age. Most like to play around and have fun, without caring whether the girl feels the same way. To them, if they feel they cannot progress anymore, they just disappear, but they have never once considered the impact on their actions to the girl in question.

Are we females forever subjugated to what our male counterparts want? Then it is very sad indeed, that in this modern day and age, there is still no equality of the sexes and men still think girls have to submit to whatever they want and do whatever they like to us.

We live in a sad world indeed.

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