The few major things that will happen in an adult life – career, money, relationships. I thought of an analogy that interlinks all together. For instance, if someone runs into financial woes be it bad credit or unable to pay back the regular instalments or mortgaged assets, this can be linked to the “bad” people we meet in our lives.
I cannot comment on how a guy views this, because the make up of a man and a woman is simply different. But I notice that being with a self-centred and irresponsible guy is equivalent to being in debt. Afterall, when credit card companies want you to try their services, they market their products so aggressively, but the moment you run into trouble, they are the first to turn their backs on you and all their “promises” were nothing.
Same goes with a “heartless” guy. When a guy goes all out to woo a girl, he will shower her with all the sweet talk, promise all kinds of things, just to get his target. When she has actually fallen for him and willing to pursue the relationship, he suddenly gets distant, and runs away in the first sign of trouble, forgetting all his “empty promises”. Maybe that is why some woman has no need to find a guy. Afterall, life is already full of troubles, one does not need another trouble maker to create more problems.
On the other hand, if one is in a good job, it is correlated to being in a good relationship. For instance, you enter a job you think you like, without knowing anything about the inner core of the company. After working there, you either like it or do not like it. If you find it is something you do not mind, you just continue working there and being committed to doing your job well. If it is something you feel very unhappy about, then you just either live with it and stop grumbling, or just make your choice and get out.
Same goes for a relationship. You go with someone you like, but whatever you know of the person is but superficial. Honestly, no matter how close as friends both are, both will never know each other that thoroughly unless both are in a relationship together, because there are simply some sides which one will never show to a friend, even a close friend.
So after entering into the relationship, you start to know each other better – the quirks, the pet peeves, the values, the imperfections. Then you either decide whether you can tolerate or cannot tolerate. If you find that those are things you can tolerate, then just continue being committed and go on to a further relationship. Otherwise, if you really cannot tolerate, stop being unhappy and just get out and move on.
Of course, it is easier said than done. Like a job, people fear the uncertainty. If one is not happy in a job, they can only live with it and move on only if better opportunities come abound. Not many will be willing to take the risk to suddenly quit and stay jobless for goodness knows how long.
Just like in a relationship. People fear the uncertainty. If they are already with this person for quite some time, they have already gotten used to how this person is like, so despite being unhappy, they will still hold on, as they are afraid if they get out, they may never find another person to be with. Afterall, most people will not want to be stuck single for years if they can help it. To many, being in a relationship is better than not being in one.
But actually when things happen, you find that they are actually not that bad. I left a job once without finding a new job because I really could not bear working there anymore! Yes, people have said I was stupid, but after that, it did not take me that long to find a new job. Even if things did not work out in the end, at least I did not stay jobless for long.
Same goes for relationships. I have friends who when they finally got out of the relationship, they found someone else within weeks or months. I used to hold on as I fear I would never find anyone else, but in the end, I managed to find people who are much better in every aspect. Although I am still not with anyone, at least things are better as I do not need to be in an unhappy relationship and start being stressed over the little things that will come.
Even though I have been single for the longest time (considering my history), still I have survived pretty well, and much happier than when I was still in the relationship. Of course, a job is a little different. A job is for livelihood, so even if things are that bad, at times one still has to stick on.
A relationship is not for livelihood. It is for companionship and happiness. You do not need to depend on it to survive. Thus it is easier to chuck aside a relationship that is going nowhere than a job. So if there are any bad debts and bad credit, nip them in the bud, throw them out and start restructuring your life. If you are stuck in a thankless job, find something better and start anew. Nothing is that bad!
I cannot comment on how a guy views this, because the make up of a man and a woman is simply different. But I notice that being with a self-centred and irresponsible guy is equivalent to being in debt. Afterall, when credit card companies want you to try their services, they market their products so aggressively, but the moment you run into trouble, they are the first to turn their backs on you and all their “promises” were nothing.
Same goes with a “heartless” guy. When a guy goes all out to woo a girl, he will shower her with all the sweet talk, promise all kinds of things, just to get his target. When she has actually fallen for him and willing to pursue the relationship, he suddenly gets distant, and runs away in the first sign of trouble, forgetting all his “empty promises”. Maybe that is why some woman has no need to find a guy. Afterall, life is already full of troubles, one does not need another trouble maker to create more problems.
On the other hand, if one is in a good job, it is correlated to being in a good relationship. For instance, you enter a job you think you like, without knowing anything about the inner core of the company. After working there, you either like it or do not like it. If you find it is something you do not mind, you just continue working there and being committed to doing your job well. If it is something you feel very unhappy about, then you just either live with it and stop grumbling, or just make your choice and get out.
Same goes for a relationship. You go with someone you like, but whatever you know of the person is but superficial. Honestly, no matter how close as friends both are, both will never know each other that thoroughly unless both are in a relationship together, because there are simply some sides which one will never show to a friend, even a close friend.
So after entering into the relationship, you start to know each other better – the quirks, the pet peeves, the values, the imperfections. Then you either decide whether you can tolerate or cannot tolerate. If you find that those are things you can tolerate, then just continue being committed and go on to a further relationship. Otherwise, if you really cannot tolerate, stop being unhappy and just get out and move on.
Of course, it is easier said than done. Like a job, people fear the uncertainty. If one is not happy in a job, they can only live with it and move on only if better opportunities come abound. Not many will be willing to take the risk to suddenly quit and stay jobless for goodness knows how long.
Just like in a relationship. People fear the uncertainty. If they are already with this person for quite some time, they have already gotten used to how this person is like, so despite being unhappy, they will still hold on, as they are afraid if they get out, they may never find another person to be with. Afterall, most people will not want to be stuck single for years if they can help it. To many, being in a relationship is better than not being in one.
But actually when things happen, you find that they are actually not that bad. I left a job once without finding a new job because I really could not bear working there anymore! Yes, people have said I was stupid, but after that, it did not take me that long to find a new job. Even if things did not work out in the end, at least I did not stay jobless for long.
Same goes for relationships. I have friends who when they finally got out of the relationship, they found someone else within weeks or months. I used to hold on as I fear I would never find anyone else, but in the end, I managed to find people who are much better in every aspect. Although I am still not with anyone, at least things are better as I do not need to be in an unhappy relationship and start being stressed over the little things that will come.
Even though I have been single for the longest time (considering my history), still I have survived pretty well, and much happier than when I was still in the relationship. Of course, a job is a little different. A job is for livelihood, so even if things are that bad, at times one still has to stick on.
A relationship is not for livelihood. It is for companionship and happiness. You do not need to depend on it to survive. Thus it is easier to chuck aside a relationship that is going nowhere than a job. So if there are any bad debts and bad credit, nip them in the bud, throw them out and start restructuring your life. If you are stuck in a thankless job, find something better and start anew. Nothing is that bad!
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