Wholesome Or Seasoned?

A continuation from my previous post. I was having lunch with my boss the other day when he asked me a question, “Do you like a guy who is more wholesome or do you prefer a guy who is more seasoned?” I interpret the question to mean if I prefer a guy who is more innocent in the ways of the world, or do I prefer someone who has played enough and have a somewhat rich experience.

Honestly if anyone has asked me that just a few years back, I would have said the former. But now, maybe the latter. Wholesome and clean-cut guys are good. In fact, I know a couple of such guys, and they are really good. They go home after work, they are filial and nice to their parents, they lead a simple life, making their parents happy. They do not crave for luxuries and have none of the vices. They are the kinds who will make good husbands and fathers.

But right now, these guys will be too boring for me, sad to say. A wholesome guy needs a wholesome girl, and I am definitely not a wholesome girl. Having had life experiences and being exposed to things, I now rather go for someone more seasoned in life. Everyone has a past, so no matter how his past is like, as long as he shows himself to be reliable and dependable, committed and settled yet fun-loving, that is all that matters.

Experiences are related to maturity. Comparing two people of the same age. The one who lived a “colourful” life at a young age is actually more mature than the one who has been living a good and simple life. There are people I know who are already in their thirties but still go wide-eyed with disbelief at the “ugliness” of the society and people in general. Then there are those who are only in their early twenties but have gone through rather hard experiences, and bring about a sense of street-smartness and sensible outlook towards life.

Those who are seasoned are far better people. I am not saying those who are wholesome are not, what I am saying is that for a seasoned person, he / she knows what is going on and what does life entails, so he / she have higher EQs and smarts to better able to handle things and give others that “feel good “ feeling. In other words, they may not blurt things out unwittingly in all innocence and inadvertently offend others.

Someone who is wholesome may be more sheltered, thus may end up saying and doing things in all naivety, thinking he / she is showing care and concern, but may not know he / she is actually offending someone else. I have been asked questions by people like that, which my first impression goes, “Are you sure you are really as old as you say you are?” Because for someone of that age, the kind of outlook he / she has is really too simplistic.

Thus, someone who is wholesome or who has not experienced much in life, may not be able to relate to the level I am at. I am not saying I am of a very high level, but I have learnt through the years to be more street-smart and not so naive anymore. These things come only with experiences, so for those who have not experienced what I have experienced, it is hard for them to relate to what I have been through.

And I will find a wholesome person too "innocent" for my liking. It will be as if I am always "mothering" the person, and the last thing I want is to be a mother to my mate. I will be mothering my own kids next time, I do not need to mother another person, thank you very much!

But for those who are wholesome, please stay the way you are! You are very good people in your own right, and should not change just to please anyone. No one should change for anyone, so being wholesome is good. We need more of this kind of people around!