Lilypie

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Men = Trouble?

I have been reflecting on whether it is a good or bad thing to be born a female. Some people say it is good because women are naturally more gorgeous, they have natual charm and beauty, more intelligent, and males flock to them like bees to honey.

Right now, I wonder what is so good being a woman if one has to be subjected to the mind games of men? People may say women court trouble on their own, but most troubles occur because of men. Men know women are emotionally weaker, so they have no qualms cheating the women of their love, and some money.

If no men exist, perhaps women may be happier. Most of my troubles in the past were because of men. Shallow men, childish men, unfaithful men. My mum's troubles are mostly because of my dad and my brother.

My friend's troubles are mostly because of the guy she likes, and who does not like her but yet played along with her until she saw him acting intimately with another girl whom she claims as plainer looking and older, when all along the guy declared he is single.

Sometimes I wonder, can guys not make a decision what they want? If he does not like her and prefers someone else, can he not tell her straight instead of playing along with her feelings? Do not say he does not want to hurt her, the truth hurts but keeping mum hurts even more. I know too well that feeling.

If the guy wants to end the relationship, can he not tell the girl instead of still holding on and letting the girl make the decision, then go around saying that the girl dumped him when it was he who wanted out in the first place? Do guys really thrive on making the girl feel so unhappy and miserable?

Perhaps guys know girls are more emotional, and when they fall in love, they really give their all. In most cases, the girl ended up giving 110%, but the guy gives only 80% or less. Is that fair to her? Why must she be the one giving so much when he is not even wholeheartedly in love with her?

Must the girl ask the boyfriend out or call him all the time when he does not even do anything and just sit around waiting for her to ask him out? Can he not take the initiative instead of taking for granted the girlfriend will do everything?

No doubt in a relationship there should be give and take, but from my experience if the girl is the one that starts giving more, then it is just a matter of time when the relationship ends because the guy is no longer that interested or into the girl anymore. What is the use of holding on and making herself more miserable?

And I think it does the guy's ego good to have a girl so madly and deeply in love with him. Afterall, he can always say she throws herself at him without him doing anything, and will go around boasting to his pals. Even more so if he is married and has a fling with someone much younger.

I quarrelled with my dad the other day. If I do confirm my acceptance of the job at the law firm I went to interview for, I may be sent for either a law degree or a course from the Singapore Association of the Institute of Chartered Secretaries and Administrators, then I can be better equipped in my job and in the indutry.

I do not mind furthering my law degree. My dad was so against it. He said what is the use of having such a high degree, not as if I can find a well-paying job and earn lots of money, and besides, he does not think I can ever cut out to be a lawyer, so even if I take law he does not think I can make it.

Yes, I gave up a law degree in the past, but I was young and I had other interests. And having a law degree does not necessary mean I must be a barrister, there are so many other areas I can go into. If he thinks I am a useless good-for-nothing in his eyes, then disown me! Save everyone the trouble of me being an embarrassment and a black sheep!

At times I also wonder what type of girls do guys prefer? Will those tough, independent high-flying career women scare guys off, especially if she is much capable than most guys? Or will guys like girls to make them feel needed, to make them feel like the girls need them for protection?

I always try to be more independent, to not be so needy, but when times like these happen when I still lapse into depression, I seriously really wish I have someone around. I heard the news of that young girl whose sex video was shown on the net, about her attempting suicide, and I can finally understand why.

I used to think that things should not get to such a state where people have to kill themselves, but rumours, gossip and people's unkindness can really get to you. In the first place, she lost her phone, and no doubt she did something very personal on her phone, but that is her business, so must the person who picked up her phone show off those images?

And must the person who post that on the net really deem it necessary? What was he trying to do? Somehow I have the gut feeling that person is a male. Showing off a free porn show, with all the faces uncovered? Has that fellow any idea the effect it will have on the two kids?

Now they becamse a sort of mini-celebrity, and fingers started pointing at them, frowning at their actions. I know that too well. Gossip and rumours and being ostracised by people can drive people to do crazy things, especially if these people are driven into despair and depression that no one cares for them, everyone is being so judgmental and unkind over what they did.

A person, no matter how weak the spirit is, will never attempt suicide unless it is something they feel is no longer worth living for. Nowadays, I am wondering whether it is still worthy for me to continue living, since no one is ever there for me when I am most down, when I am most depressed, and the person I so much want to be with never offers any comfort and solace during my deepest moments.

A relationship is not built when the couple is happy and loving, It is built through trials and tests, and whether they can be with each other during the darkest and deepest times. Somehow no one has ever done that for me.

3 comments:

Ole' Wolvie said...

Different people, different strokes. I myself currently would prefer a very independent gal.

"Oneself" is already difficult enough to understand. What more of others?

shakespeareheroine said...

Very true. Unfortunately not many people can even understand themselves in the first place.

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