I confided my fear to my dear and he assured me nothing of that sort will happen. Right now, I have a phobia of going on a tour when I am still in a relationship, after what happened the past few years. Either I come back and got dumped, or got my heart broken, or had the guy whining about how I went away and left him here to fend for himself.
I was feeling so worried that I almost wanted to cancel the tour. Especially since he could not see me off due to other commitments. But he told me to go ahead, he will be there when I return.
Most people will say I am being very silly, but I believe if others have been in my position, they will understand how I feel. I have been hurt before, so I would not want the same thing to happen to me.
I have a friend who was hurt by his first love, and for about ten years, he never wanted another relationship. For us, we would think that is silly as he was throwing his happiness away. But in the end, he probably met the right person and is now happily married.
I have friends who divorced, and reluctant to enter into another relationship, as they never wanted to got through the whole mess again. But luckily, most of them managed to find happiness again.
I can understand the mentality. If you have been hurt, not once, but a few times, somehow you will have a fear of history repeating itself. I know of people who pledged never to get married because they have been badly hurt in their first relationships.
I feel sad for these people, because they are throwing away another chance at happiness. So the first relationship failed. How many people's first relationships really succeed? There are those very lucky ones who did, but in most cases, people go through a few relationships before they finally manage to find the right one.
Then there are those couples who broke up and tried to patch back after a while. There are some lucky ones who managed to stay together the next time round, probably as they learnt from the mistakes of the first time.
But in most cases, the second time with the same person probably could not last even as long as the first time round. Once someone was hurt and to a certain extent moved on, the feelings for the same person would no longer be the same.
Which was why I rejected my exs when they asked me for another chance, because they hurt me so much that I no longer see them in the same light, no longer have the same type of feelings for them anymore. And if I gave them a second chance, how to guarantee the same thing would not happen?
Of course the fear is always there. Whether in a relationship, or marriage, when things turn sour, the hurt will always be there, and this hurt may be then transferred to the next relationship.
But if we do not give our next relationship a chance, how would we know it will not succeed? And for a relationship to succeed, both parties have to put in effort. Just like for a marriage to work, be it first or second or even third marriage, both parties have to make it work.
So I have to stop being so paranoid and trust that nothing will happen, that all will be well, that life goes on per normal when I return.
I am flying off tonight! See you when I return on Thursday! Have a great week ahead!
P/S. Wonder if France will win the World Cup again? Or will Italy emerge as the surprise winner this time?
I was feeling so worried that I almost wanted to cancel the tour. Especially since he could not see me off due to other commitments. But he told me to go ahead, he will be there when I return.
Most people will say I am being very silly, but I believe if others have been in my position, they will understand how I feel. I have been hurt before, so I would not want the same thing to happen to me.
I have a friend who was hurt by his first love, and for about ten years, he never wanted another relationship. For us, we would think that is silly as he was throwing his happiness away. But in the end, he probably met the right person and is now happily married.
I have friends who divorced, and reluctant to enter into another relationship, as they never wanted to got through the whole mess again. But luckily, most of them managed to find happiness again.
I can understand the mentality. If you have been hurt, not once, but a few times, somehow you will have a fear of history repeating itself. I know of people who pledged never to get married because they have been badly hurt in their first relationships.
I feel sad for these people, because they are throwing away another chance at happiness. So the first relationship failed. How many people's first relationships really succeed? There are those very lucky ones who did, but in most cases, people go through a few relationships before they finally manage to find the right one.
Then there are those couples who broke up and tried to patch back after a while. There are some lucky ones who managed to stay together the next time round, probably as they learnt from the mistakes of the first time.
But in most cases, the second time with the same person probably could not last even as long as the first time round. Once someone was hurt and to a certain extent moved on, the feelings for the same person would no longer be the same.
Which was why I rejected my exs when they asked me for another chance, because they hurt me so much that I no longer see them in the same light, no longer have the same type of feelings for them anymore. And if I gave them a second chance, how to guarantee the same thing would not happen?
Of course the fear is always there. Whether in a relationship, or marriage, when things turn sour, the hurt will always be there, and this hurt may be then transferred to the next relationship.
But if we do not give our next relationship a chance, how would we know it will not succeed? And for a relationship to succeed, both parties have to put in effort. Just like for a marriage to work, be it first or second or even third marriage, both parties have to make it work.
So I have to stop being so paranoid and trust that nothing will happen, that all will be well, that life goes on per normal when I return.
I am flying off tonight! See you when I return on Thursday! Have a great week ahead!
P/S. Wonder if France will win the World Cup again? Or will Italy emerge as the surprise winner this time?
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