At The Threshold Of My Life

Currently I am at a certain stage of my life where I have to make a decision. It is never easy making decisions, especially where others are concerned. It is always the same story - to make the decision to make myself happy, but others unhappy, or make the decision to make others happy but myself unhappy. Always a dilemma there.

To me, others' happiness always mean much more to me. I always feel that as long as my friends and loved ones are satisfied and happy, even if I do more it does not matter. The outcome is to let them be happy, then I will be joyful and satisfied.

But in this case, what does my happiness mean to others? Do people even care whether I am happy? Do people even realise that whatever I am doing, however much I am giving in, each time I feel more frustrated than before because people just take for granted I should be the one doing everything since I claim I care for them, that I love them? Do people not think that I, too, will like some care and concern, some appreciation, some love from them?

I am never the type to calculate how much I give. I do not go around being all "fair" by saying that just because I do certain things, the other person must do something back to me. This is not true friendship, and this is not love and concern. Because if you really care, you will give unconditionally.

But I am human after all. My tolerance level is also limited, no matter how much I can tolerate, no matter how much I can give. There will come a time when I am at the maximum, then I will start to blow up totally as I cannot tolerate it anymore.

Is it worth it giving in all the time when the other party clearly seems to be more and more disinterested? Is it worth giving in all the time when people expect you to make all the decisions, and yet not happy with what you come up with? And is it worth giving in all the time when people do not even give you any shred of respect by not telling you even a simple thing like whether it is on or off, and leave you hanging and wondering?

Sometimes I wonder, if I do just give up and not do anything anymore, will the other party even care that I have given up? Then all my time and years have been spent and wasted in something unconstructive, something that should never have begun in the first place.

Antz Attack!

I hate pests! Cockroaches and rats especially. I think I am herpetophobic (albeit rather minor). Which is why I always get freaked out when I see any cockroach or rats (and there are still rats running around in my neighbourhood!).

Now the latest - ants! I have become an ant murderer. I just wiped out an entire colony the other night. I have been seeing ants coming and going in my room for quite some time, but had no idea where they came from. I always thought the ants were from outside my house and managed to climb through my window into my room.

Then by chance, I got to sort out my stationery box, which is on a shelf of my desk. What I saw gave me a big shock! There was an entire colony of ants under the box! The ants were lounging around, and I even saw the nest (or part of it) at the side of the box.

The sight freaked me out so much that I immediately went off to get the insecticide and sprayed the whole lot of them. Then I cleaned out the shelf and found the "culprit" - my half-eaten packet of Cadbury Dairy Milk. So this was where I stashed them. No wonder the entire packet just disappeared! Needless to say, I had to throw away the entire packet as well.

After everything was cleaned, I realised that I just wiped out an entire colony! Does it make me a conqueror then? I did not feel good after that, because I took away so many lives just like that. This taught me a lesson though - not to stash so much candy in my room again! Or rather, not to forget where I put the candy.

Monkey Business

I saw a monkey crossing the street on Wednesday. No, I am not kidding. This is not a joke. Nor is it a dream or illusion. I have eyewitnesses to this "spectacular event", including my new boss. We saw the monkey standing at the side of the street, looking at the oncoming cars, and once the street was cleared, it quickly bounded across. Very intelligent fellow!

Where did the monkey come from anyway? According to some of my colleagues, since our office building is near to one of the few nature reserves, the monkey could have come from there. There were those who ever saw a mother monkey crossing the street with her baby clinging to her front. Perhaps that was the baby we saw (that is now grown up)?

How did the monkey know when the street is safe to cross? Just like for dogs, cats, chickens even, how will they know when the coast is clear? I have seen dogs and cats (and even chickens when I was younger) crossing the street, with no accidents (except for the very rare ones). How did they know when danger would pass them by?

It is amazing, is it not? The laws of nature, giving animals a natural instinct for safety and danger. Who taught those animals that certain things are safe and dangerous? Who taught those animals to breed? Who taught those animals to love and be loyal?

Nobody. Nowadays one can train a pet to obey, to fetch, to be disciplined, but the fundamental nature in them is that they stay faithful. They know when one is upset, when one is gone, when somebody is safe or dangerous to them. And they go all out to protect the family they belong to.

Humans, on the other hand, have all the education and knowledge, yet why is it that some humans still do not know how and what to do? So who is it that came to the conclusion that man is the most intelligent of species? Comparing species of nature, at times I think man's intelligence is below other animals.

On a side note, National Geographic sent me a jacket for renewing my subscription. It is a very nice jacket, made of polyester, feels like a sweat shirt. It can keep me warm during cool nights and cold weather overseas, but what a pity it is a bit too big for me! And there is no way I can ask for an exchange since there is only that one size for the jacket.

Anyway, I took a picture of the jacket. Pardon the colour as I took it with my phone instead of my camera. What do you think? Nice?

Actual size - I can wear it like a mini dress!

Spain / Malta Itinerary

After months of indecisiveness, my parents finally have the Spain trip confirmed! My third uncle feels the itinerary is good, so perhaps he and his family will be joining us too, together with the family friends (a couple) of my Australian relatives. My mum is looking to fly off on the night of June twenty-second, just nice for us to tour Spain for ten days, before flying to Malta, where we can settle down for a few days, attend the wedding, have a get-together, then fly back home.

My Australian uncle has already booked the Malta accommodation for us. He had rented three apartments of three bedrooms each, making a total of nine bedrooms. My parents and I will take one, my third uncle and aunt (with their two eldest girls) will take two, my Australian uncle and aunt one, my eldest cousin and his wife (together with the soon-to-be-born baby) one, youngest cousin and his girlfriend one, their family friends one, and the remaining two for the rest of our relatives who may be going. Seems pretty set.

We went to a tour agency last Saturday, and this is what we settled on for the Spain tour. Initially I thought of going Portugal as well, to see Fatima, but it is not recommended by the boss of the travel agency, as he said the route back to Spain from Portugal is pretty rough and long, and we may get stuck on the route, with many hours to go before our next meal. Oh well....

Anyway, here is the proposed plan :

1. Barcelona - Antoni Gaudi's "Sagrada Familia", Gothic Quarter, local Catalonian dinner.

2. Barcelona, Peniscola, Valencia - Stop at Peniscola, drive through the Levant region to Valencia, the Bull Ring (just a pity matador season has not arrived then!), great Cathedral and the Towers of Serrano and Cuarte.

3. Valencia, Guadix, Granada - Guadix stopover to view troglodyte cave dwellings, continue via Mora Pass to Granada, dinner of local specialties to the music of Spanish guitar.

4. Granada, Seville - Granada sightseeing to view the Moorish Alhambra Palace, scenic drive through Antequera to Seville, fiery Flamenco show.

5. Seville - sightseeing at Maria Luisa Park, Cathedral, Giralda Tower, Plaza de Espana and Christopher Columbus' tomb, option of a horse-driven carriage ride through the floodlit streets.

6. Seville, Cordoba, Madrid - via Guadalquivir Valley to Cordoba, sightseeing at the Mosque of the Caliphs and the Synagogue, cross the plains to La Mancha before going to Madrid.

7. Madrid, Toledo, Barcelona - sightseeing at Cervantes Memorial, Puerta del Sol, etc, off to Toledo for the Synagogue, Church of Santo Tome and local steel workshop, back to Barcelona.

After that, it will be off to Malta to attend the wedding of the year! I am so looking forward to this trip, as this will be the first time I am actually going to Europe! I really wish I can take enough time off for this trip! Now the only thing I have to figure out is how to raise five thousand bucks by June before we fly off.

Work From Home?

My company allows us the option of receiving emails and notices from our mobile phones when we are out of the office. Since it is free and my mobile phone has the required feature, I activated it. Which was a big mistake, because from then on, I have been receiving emails twenty-four hours of the day!

With technology being so advanced and electronic products being so inexpensive nowadays, more and more people are choosing to work from home. I am not referring to those who run a home-based business or freelancing, but those who work after office hours and during weekends from their homes.

These people have access to office mails and are always on-call. They check and reply emails and calls while out of the office. Needless to say, these are the people who may have company-sponsored or subsidised mobile phones or laptops. And more and more companies nowadays are sponsoring or giving subsidies to employees' mobile phones, blackberries and laptops, so the employees can then work anywhere they like.

My mum's company ever wanted to sponsor her a mobile phone and laptop, so she could be reached wherever and whenever. But she vehemently refused. She says that if she agrees, then there will be no more peace, as she will be on-call twenty-four hours of the day. When she is out of the office or on vacation, she wants to switch off and not think about work.

Very true! Now I am facing the same problem, having to check and reply to mails anytime of the day. The higher-ranking staff in my company also have company-sponsored laptops, and some of them do bring the laptops home after work. Come to think of it, shall I then consider myself fortunate that I am not high-ranking enough to have the priviledge of a company laptop?

Good Things Come In Threes ....

I started this week with happy news, hoping that this happy mood will stay for the rest of the year. Too much to ask, perhaps, so maybe I shall hope it will continue for the rest of the week at least?

Firstly, I am finally singing again! I got accepted into my church choir. My first session with them will be this coming Sunday, where I was asked to join them for practice and singing for the mass. The choir is made up of working adults, so I need not feel out of place joining a Youth choir in other churches anymore. The choir sings for Sunday evening mass, so I can sleep more during the weekends and spend more time with my family.

Besides singing, the choir also has gatherings and outreach to the poor, mission homes and projects during festive seasons. Plus, the members also get to go overseas for retreats! What more can I ask for? Something I love to do, combined with community service and serving God and contributing to the church at the same time! It even has a very cool name - St Mary's Choir, a tribute to our own Holy Mother herself!

The second thing is that the new Counsel finally came on board yesterday. So I can finally de-stress and have a load off my mind! After holding the fort all by myself for more than a month, I really welcome this "break". Besides, there have been lots of pending cases on hold for his professional advise. He seems like a nice and soft-spoken person, but I really pity him at the end of the day, as he looked so stressed just after a day!

I had lunch with him today and we started talking about work, and then the conversation went to personal issues like working experience and family. Apparently, he was the Legal Counsel of a certain statutory board where a former classmate of mine is working in, and it turns out she used to work for him when he was the head of the department of that statutory board. What a coincidence!

Furthermore, he praised me for being initiative and able to handle things well. First time I actually had good praises from a new superior! So, he is giving me quite a bit of leeway at work, ie I can send out correspondence and emails in my name, without even the need to let him check or go through him. Freedom and trust at work is what I have always wanted, so what more can I ask for?

As if that is not enough, the best news came today. I received my confirmation letter! So I am finally entitled to the full benefits and priviledges of the company! There is no increment in my pay, but I may expect a certain amount of bonus with this month's salary. Really looking forward to that, especially with Chinese New Year just round the corner!

With good fortune smiling on me, I can only hope that the week will only get better. I sure do not wish for it to get any worse than this!

Kids With Money?

Finally I got to watch this show, just before it was taken off the cinema screens. About two decades ago, I read the book, then watched the animated feature the first time I went to Sydney. I cried around the last part, while reading the book and watching the cartoon.

At that point in time, I had no idea why I cried, except that I thought it was so poor thing for the spider to die just like that. The story touched me until I cried. Now, years later, watching a more light-hearted movie adaptation of the book, I still cry at the last part.

But this time, I know why I cried. The story touched me to the bones. It left a heart-warming taste in my mouth, with the message that miracles do happen and the world will become a better place. It awoken the inner child in me, that one can learn the meaning of beauty, love, true friendship and innocence from an animal.

The message of the story is just this - be in touch with your inner child. All the innocence and naivety of youth often gave way to the seriousness of adulthood. A pity the childhood phase is just that - a phase. When one grows up, we get too bogged down by other things that we lose touch with what really matters - the simple things in life.

And that is such a sad truth everywhere. Perhaps we should start seeing things from the angle of a child. Picasso once said the greatest achievement in art is to draw like a child. Come to think of it, writing or drawing for children is not that easy, even worse than for adults. That is why it is so hard to be a Children's author or artist, but those who actually made it as one often beome the creme de la creme of the line, as their works get loved by both children and adults alike.

Because one has to go down to the level of a child, to see his / her point of view, the innocence, the beauty all over, and the simplicity of things. A pity we no longer have this ability once we reach adulthood, which is why not many adults can really relate to a child.

That is not to say we should be totally childish too. Children bicker over very petty things. Like if one wears the same type of clothes, or carry the same bag, buys the same stationery, one will be accused of copying and then a quarrel will ensue.

Or if one happens to come from a better family or scores better grades, he / she will then laugh and look down on the rest. After growing up, people supposedly become more sensible, and lost their childish side. Yet, why is it that well into adulthood, there are still people who bicker over the most trivial things? So what if my ideas are like yours? So what if we happen to like the same things? So what if we happen to go for the same show? Is it really that big a deal?

Someone once told me that adults can be more childish than real kids at times, because adults are not ignorant, that is why when they bicker, many things will be digressed and small things will balloon into big things. That is why this person also said that adults are essentially kids with money of their own.

Perhaps it is true, with certain people I have come across. So why do we not retain childlike innocence and simplicity instead of retaining the childishness of shallowness, narrow-mindedness, pettiness and bad-temperedness?

Another Sad Love Song ....

Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up some day you'll see.
Saving all my kisses just for you
Signed with love forever true.

Joni was the girl who lived next door
I've known her I guess ten years or more
Joni wrote me a note one day
and this is what she had to say.

Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up some day you'll see.
Saving all my kisses just for you
Signed with love forever true.

Slowly I read her note once more
Then I went over to the house next door
Her tear drops fell like rain that day
when I told Joni what I had to say.

Joni, Joni please don't cry
you'll forget me by and by
You're just fifteen and I'm twenty-two
And Joni, I just can't wait for you.

Soon I left our little hometown
Got me a job and tried to settle down
But these words kept haunting my memory
the words that Joni said to me.

Jimmy please say you'll wait for me
I'll grow up some day you'll see
Saving all my kisses just for you
signed with love forever true.

I packed my clothes and I caught a plane
I had to see Joni, I had to explain.
How my heart was filled with her memory.
And ask my Joni if she'd marry me.

I ran all the way to the house next door.
But things weren't like they were before.
My tear drops fell like rain that day,
when I heard what Joni has to say.

Jimmy, Jimmy please don't cry
you'll forget me by and by.
It's been five years since you've been gone,
Jimmy I married your best friend John.

~ Joni Don't Cry (Conway Twitty)

I always get all teary over love songs, especially those with sad endings. I was discussing this song (incidentally the same one playing right now) with a group of people once, and they have differing opinions. One of them said that the guy (Jimmy) deserved it since he rejected her in the first place, so did he expect her to sit around and wait for him until he made up his mind to go back to her?

I guess the general public will echo the same sentiment. The guy rejected the girl, she has every right to move on with her life, so it was just too bad that she ended up marrying his best friend. Did he think she would wait for him for five years?

Of course to me it is sad. He finally realises that he loves her, and took the first plane (I think) out to meet her and to propose to her. He took it upon her word that she would really love him forever and remain faithful. And to find out she had moved on with his best friend no less, it was probably a big blow and betrayal to him.

But is it being unfaithful if he rejected her and the relationship never started in the first place? Does a guy expect a girl who expresses her love for him to wait for him even after he rejected her and not move on? Is the girl expected to hold on if she thought he made it clear it was impossible between them?

This is just a song, and the songwriter can write it any way he liked. But in real life things are not that easy. In real life, it is hard to remain faithful. Of course, if you are lucky to find the right one to settle down with, then you must remain faithful and keep the love going.

But what if one party wants to remain faithful and the other party gives up? Love dies only if one party gives up totally. He / she can have seen something about the other person which does not give the confidence that a long-term relationship will work out.

Often have I come across people in relationships, and they love themselves more than the other person. There is nothing wrong being self-focused, but in a relationship, it is no longer just on you alone. It encompasses another person. A real love relationship can only last if both parties love the other more than they love themselves, if both parties put in 200%.

Which is why if one person cannot love the other to the fullest, it is more fair to the one giving more to move on, because a relationship cannot survive long-term if only one party puts in the effort. I know that too well. One can say all about having love will conquer all things, but love alone does not survive if there is no accommodation, tolerance and communication.

Afterall, will one be with someone who physically and mentally abuses him / her just because he / she loves the person so much? Or someone so undecisive that he / she cannot even make up the mind where he / she wants the relationship to go, where if there is a future for them?

Love itself is not on getting things back; rather it is on what you give than what you take. But if one party only gives and the other only takes, then it is lopsided, is it not? Would it be better for the taker to let the giver go so he / she can focus on giving to someone else more deserving?

Anyway back to the context of the song. If I am Joni, I would grieve but I too would move on. It is not being unfaithful; rather it is not holding on to something that may never happen. And since Jimmy never gave her any indication that he will one day go looking for her, Joni has every right to go with any other guy.

Studying Consistently ....

I went for a pre-course seminar last week, and the message is always on studying consistently in order to do well for the examinations. Come to think of it, ever since I started attending school, no one had taught me how to study. When I was in primary school, my mum revised my work with me everyday, made sure my homework was completed. Despite that, I never really scored well enough in her eyes.

As I went to a higher level, there were more subjects to study. I started struggling, as I had no idea how to handle all the subjects required! And all the subjects needed time, since all the teachers treated their own subjects as if it was the only subject we needed to do!

It became harder to study. I heard from teachers and classmates that studying consistently means to study everyday. But by the time I got home from school, it was already late afternoon, and with all my activities, I found it harder to find time to study all subjects everyday! As a result, there were times I stayed up till the wee hours of the morning and survived on just two to three hours of sleep per day just to study. Now on looking back, I wonder how in the world I managed to survive these days?

When I went on to tertiary institutions, the timetable is more flexible. There were days I need not go to school, and there were days I only needed to attend two hours of lessons. I thought I would have more time to study, but because I chose the easy (or hard?) way out by cramming, I ended up taking more subjects than my peers.

Plus, I did Humanities like English Literature and History, academic subjects, rather than technical subjects like English Language, Mathematics or Geography. So it was a real tough struggle. My friends view me as a real nutcase to take subjects which require voluminous amount of reading and research. But all along I have done this. Ever since I finished secondary school, I have been taking subjects like this - English Literature, History, Law (for a brief period of time). All these subjects require voluminous amount of reading and research.

So it was tough for me to study consistently, especially if that means studying everyday. I did the usual things - note-taking, summarising, etc, but I did not read the notes everyday. I admit that throughout my study years, projects, assignments and research took up so much time that there were days I did not revise the notes at all.

So I started doing "last-minute" work by reading through and revising everything the month before the examinations. A bit too late actually, as I would have lots more to study by then. If I had read through the notes everyday, perhaps it would not be so much of a struggle revising for the examination afterall.

Come to think of it, how in the world I ever survive my student years? Yet the ironic thing is that I cannot wait to go back to school, because I find studying now more fun than working life. I still hate taking examinations though. If I have a choice, I would choose a course that requires full coursework and not examination, but I guess taking examinations is part and parcel of going to school. So if I made it when I was much younger, I believe I can make it now!

Of Inheritance ....

Someone asked me am I mad that my parents sold away the apartment which would have been mine? Of course not! Why would I be mad? It is their house, so they are entitled to do what they want with it. Besides, if I want a place to stay in, I much rather choose and buy my own.

But there have been cases where people kill for inheritance. Siblings backstab each other or manipulate the parents just to have the whole or a bigger share of the inheritance, especially if the parents are millionaires and above. There have even been kids telling their parents what assets they like!

Must things go to such an extent, especially amongst one's family members? I believe if parents are to make a will and distribute money, they will have their own reasons why they distribute it a certain way. For instance, if my parents are to ever leave their assets to us, I believe my first brother will get the biggest share because of his condition.

My mum told me as parents, they tend to look out more for the weaker children, because the stronger ones can take care of themselves. And it is right even if they want to leave everything to him, because afterall, it is their money to do as they please. If I want riches, I can always earn my own.

But why do some kids take it for granted that it is a must that parents have to leave their money to the kids? Why must people live on their parents' money anyway? Do they not have the ability to earn their own? Or do they take it as a given that parents will leave everything to them?

Someone once said if the children are good, they will not need the parents' money, because they can earn a better living than the parents. Similarly, if the kids are not good, then no amount of money can ever be enough, because the kids will take for granted and squander all away. How true!

One of our pioneers was so rich, but he did not leave a single cent to his children. He gave all to charity and education. Luckily his own descendants are capable, so the family is still rich and established. They strived for their own living, instead of depending on him. I find this attitude so much more becoming. To me, I feel it is better to make it on one's own, instead of depending on anyone else.

So to answer questions posed to me by some people : No, I am not living off my parents. I have never asked a single cent from them ever since I started earning. Whatever my parents have now, they toiled for them. Thus, I will never ask them to give me the fruit of their labour. If I want, I will try to achieve it by my own efforts.

Of Bonus Schemes

Is it only here, or the Commonwealth countries, or every part of the world, that practices the thirteenth-month pay, which companies call a bonus? The companies here differ in the bonus practice. But the thirteenth month pay is still compulsory.

Some companies will pay a huge bonus, like six months, which comprises of the thirteenth month salary, plus five months extra. Very fat pay cheque indeed! Some companies will give a performance or increment bonus on top of the annual bonus.

Come to think of it, should the annual bonus all be given out in December? Afterall, it is called the "Christmas Bonus", is it not? Most companies I know give out in December, just before Christmas. Some companies give in November, some in January, some in June, some in September even. Is there a fixed month where the bonus will be given out?

For civil servants, the annual bonus is given out every mid-December. Performance bonus will be in March, annual increments in whatever month the employee started work. For instance, when I joined the civil service all those years ago, it was in July, so I got my incremental bonus every July.

The annual bonus is not fixed as well, which is why it is called the "Annual Variable Bonus". The amount depends on the economy and market. If the economy was booming for the year, the bonus will be more. If not, then less. For most companies, the average bonus is thirteenth month plus an extra month. Some small companies give only the thirteenth month and nothing else.

From what I know, certain companies will dock the employees' pay if the industry or company is not doing well. Employees would rather take a pay cut than be retrenched altogether. But when the company is picking up, it will pay back the employees, in the form of big bonuses. So in a way, having lots of bonus can be a way of the employer recognising the employees' efforts and work.

Come to think of it, what exactly goes into one's remuneration package? Is it just the monthly salary with all the bonus, or is it the salary, bonus, allowance and CPF? But if the bonus fluctuates, then will our annual pay package not fluctuate too?

A Catch Up Session

My best friend really knows me! But then, we have not maintained a close friendship for twelve years for nothing. She is the one that knows what I am thinking, how I feel and the reasons I do certain things. If no one else understands the way I function, she is one who does.

We were chatting on the phone last night as a way of catching up. She told me that my ex would be holding his church and dinner ceremony in July, and asked if I would be going this time. So I asked if he asked her to ask me, and she said no. She just wondered because I kept changing my mind over attending his solemnisation last year.

I asked if she would be going, and she said if she is free that day, of course she will go. My reply to that is, if I am free that day, I will go too. She then asked if I would feel awkward, because after all, I did not attend his solemnisation was because I was not able to bring myself to witness it.

My reply to that? Honestly, of course I would feel weird. Who would not? She also felt a bit uncomfortable attending her ex's wedding two years back. But it is his choice after all. If he thinks he is much happier with her, then so be it. If he still takes me as a friend, then the least I can do is to be happy for him.

My best friend then told me that it has been so long, and now that he is married, I too should just move on and settle down myself. She can really read my mind! It is not that I have not moved on (well, perhaps a very minor teeny weeny tinge still cannot really let go completely), but the reason I am still not married is not because of him. It is because no one has proposed to me.

Perhaps no one loves me enough, or deems me worthy enough to want to be committed? Or else say will sure commit, but makes me wait. Wait for how long, I wonder? Until I am in my thirties, forties, until I am old and grey? If the guy is really committed in the first place, why wait?

I am not talking about if we were still students, then of course have to wait. I am talking about guys who already have established their careers, abundant savings and in a relationship for a few years. Why still wait? Guys are different, they can wait, even until middle or old age. A woman, once past thirty, her market value goes downhill, especially if she wants to have kids and raise a family while she is still young.

My best friend also told me that her boyfriend's mother may want to give away his dog. She asked if I am willing to take the dog. She said that if they are going to give away the dog, they rather give to someone who will love and take care of the dog. Again, she knows me so well!

However, my mum only allows one dog in the house. She said if it is my own house, she does not care even if I run an animal farm, but in her house, she allows only one dog. So too bad, even if I want the dog so much, I have to respect the rest of my family members too. Same goes for my best friend. Even though she loves the dog to bits, she has to respect her family members as well, since her mum is allergic to pets, and her grandmother is scared of dogs.

I asked her if the parents want to give away his dog, why keep it in the first place? She said he got it because he wanted the dog, and just adopted it without telling anyone in the family until the day he brought the dog home. But I feel (and she agrees) that anything to do with a life should be discussed fully with all the members of the family.

Everyone must agree, take turns in taking care, treat like a family member, and not just take and then chuck aside after a few years. It is so traumatic for the animal in question. Worst thing is to keep a pet, then realise there is no time to take care, and just dump it at SPCA like that.

Which is why the SPCA also always advises the public not to keep a pet on an impulse. Decisions should be made by every member of the family, because as long as one family member is not warm to the idea, problems like this will suffice. I only wish the dog can be re-homed to somewhere good. The SPCA should only be the last resort after all efforts of re-homing have been in vain.

(Still) A One-(Wo)Man Show ....

The one who would be my new boss withdrew the offer at the last moment, so it is back to me holding the fort again. My Human Resource department has to start opening the vacant post and interviewing candidates again.

I suppose he took a better offer over this. Cannot blame him actually, but in this case, why not tell us much earlier? The post had been vacant for two months already. Or maybe it was only around this time that he got a better offer.

Come to think of it, in-house counsels are highly sought after lately. More and more companies are finding it more cost-effective and time-saving to hire their own in-house counsels rather than outsource to a law firm. And these companies are willing to pay a large sum for top practitioners. Comparatively, for small medium enterprises like my company, anyone would go for a bigger company instead.

I only hope someone will be hired very soon! If this goes on, I will need a full assistant of my own too!

Why Would People Disappear?

Sumiko Tan has done it again! Another thought-provoking article in the Sunday Life! I seem to be addicted to this bi-weekly (fortnightly?) print blog of hers. I never fail to read every article she writes! In fact, I get some of my own inspiration from her articles!

Last Sunday's article was on the end of a long friendship. Her friend and her argued over some trivial matters, which resulted in some nasty messages bouncing back and forth, and then they stopped talking to each other. She said that now she is of this age, she no longer bothers to be the first to make peace, as afterall, she does not need to base her happiness on other's approvals.

However, when she was in her twenties, she would be worried over any disagreement. She would seek company, tried her best to please, ensured nothing would go out of favour with anyone, and essentially did whatever she could to avoid any conflict. If there was any displeasure on anyone's part, she would be the first to apologise as she felt that her friends' needs were more important, so as long as her friends were happy, she was happy too.

This is exactly how I am feeling! I am not saying that my friends' needs are not important. I do agree that as long as they are happy, that is all that matters. What I am trying to say is that I can relate to what she said, as sometimes, you can do so much, but things are just beyond your control. If people are unappreciative, so be it, why must we eat the humble pie and apologise if we have not done anything wrong?

She said in her article that she came to realise that people whom she "offended" with no rhyme or reason would not care how miserable she felt, would not even care if she apologised, so why must she be the one to give in? She also said that if they could switch attitudes just like that, then they probably did not value the friendship in the first place.

How true! I think I am like how she was like in the past. Last year, when a certain someone "disappeared" on me, ie no responses to my messages, no replies to emails, I sent an apology email offering to treat a meal, but still no reply. I started racking my brains wondering how in the world I ever offended this person, but tried as I might, I had no idea.

If it was because of something I did which this person did not approve of, I had apologised. And anyway, whatever I did only affected myself, it did not affect anyone else for that matter. So if it was not something I did, then what? Why would people suddenly disappear for no rhyme or reason?

I am not even talking about my ex here. He disappeared because he wanted to avoid a messy breakup, but this "friend" just disappeared for no reason. I sent a birthday e-card, but it was unopened. I emailed and messaged several times, but no reply at all.

Till now, I cannot understand why would anyone behave this way? Even if there was something I did that this person disapproved of, or got offended in some way, would it not be more fair to just sit down and trash out everything? Even if this person really felt that I am no longer worthy to be a friend, can this person not just tell me straight, instead of not doing anything, not saying anything, and making me more confused than before?

My cousin had a similar experience. She used to have a close friend. Then when she (my cousin) hooked up with her then-boyfriend (who is now her ex-husband), her friend suddenly avoided her altogether. Messages and emails went unanswered, calls to her were cut off or reluctantly answered. My cousin tried to be friendly and continued calling her, but the "friend" became more and more distant until in the end they just stopped contacting each other. Up to now, my cousin was also still bewildered why her friend suddenly started behaving this way.

Thus the article came just at the right time. After reading it, I found that there are people who can just disappear on us, be it friends or lovers. And it is beyond anyone's control because the fault often does not lie on us. People just chose to "disappear", even if we have not done anything wrong. In a way, it is a good thing because at least, we know the person's true colours. Then we can stop trying to please those who are not worthy and concentrate on people who are worthy.

What A Boo-Boo!

I have been the only one left in the department for about a month now. I heard news that the Head of the Department (my new boss), was supposed to come today (yesterday actually). So the past week, I had been reviewing cases and familiarising myself with the next step so when he comes, I can keep him in the loop.

When I reached office in the morning, I saw someone sitting at the desk vacated by my previous boss. When my immediate supervisor left, I shifted to her place, which is in front of his desk. So anyway, since the person sitting there was unfamiliar, I thought it was the new Head. Thus, I went over to introduce myself.

I was just about to tell him the ongoings of the cases, when he told me, "I do not think I am who you think I am." (Eh?) He introduced himself as someone from the Bangkok office, just dropping by for meetings, and he was asked to sit there since the place was vacant. Realisation dawned then and I was too embarrassed to say anything else!

What possessed me not to ask clearly first? Now I have really made an ass of myself!

Colonialism And Supremacy

When I was going through lessons in history, I cannot help but wonder if there is a right for anyone to "colonialise" others? During Geography lessons long long time ago, I learnt about the push and pull factors that caused people to migrate. It might be that in one's home country, there were not enough food and jobs, so by migrating somewhere else, there could be more stability. This is true of the migrants from China who came to Southeast Asia to carve out a better life.

It is not wrong to migrate and explore new frontiers, but should explorers or early settlers kill or repress the natives? How many Native Americans, Aboriginals and Maoris have been wiped out because the land was slowly being settled? What about the ancient Maya and Inca civilisation, which are now extinct? The early explorers to these parts came and took away not just riches, but the entire land, developing it for their own use and profit, killing and imprisoning any natives that stood in their ways.

I was born after independence, so I have never experienced any form of repression. However, the part of the world I come from has been pretty lucky, because except for the time when the country was under Japanese rule, and whose soldiers tortured the people mercilessly, the natives were not really repressed during Colonial times. At least there was opportunity for schooling, freedom of trade and scholarship.

Come to think of it, somehow all those Commonwealth countries (or any other countries that have been colonialised by anyone) always seem to be profitable to those who used to run the countries. Makes sense actually, afterall, who in the right mind will bother about setting up any bases in any country if they cannot gain anything from the country in question?

Colonialism is not totally wrong. If we had not had British rule in the past, we would not be learning English or have a Western education. We would not have been a developed society (although the development comes from our own efforts, but these were lessons which our ex colonial masters taught us). We would probably still have been a backward, third world country, not knowing how to fend for ourselves, falling to the next country that wanted to take over us.

If America had not been settled, it would not have been the country it is today, still one of the super powers. Same goes for Australia and New Zealand, despite being laid-back, the country itself is pretty prosperous and developed. Places like South Africa and Nigeria too, the better-developed countries of the African continent. Somehow all those countries that had been under Western rulers seem to prosper and develop pretty well in comparison to others.

There are many things one can learn from countries that are more developed. Like the British law we adopted, and the literature. There are also many things the Western world had learnt from their colonies, for instance, introducing chocolate to Europe from the West Indies.

It is one thing colonising a country for profit, but another thing showing supremacy over the natives. Why would those in the past think it is right to get Africans or black-skinned people (and even Asians) as slaves, lord over them like masters, and treat them as second-class? Are they not people, like everyone else, and entitled to same rights, no matter what skin colour?

Or why would anyone think it is right to plummet the country, draining the country of its own rich resources like oil, diamonds, minerals, just for their own profits? Afterall, if the country itself is full of resources that can make it rich, should anyone has the right to exploit? Would it not be better to let the country use the riches to help its own people?

As a result, these countries got exploited so much that they end up being in more poverty than before. And once the resources have been used up, what then? The colonial masters gave up and went to find other places to explore, not caring about what happened to the people. So many lives have been killed, culture forgotten, and country in an equal mess, all for the sake of profitting some others!

Things may be getting better in modern times, but even with more education, technology and development, it is sad to see that some people still view themselves as above others.

Diamonds Are Forever?

Diamonds are a girl's best friend, and during an engagement or wedding, girls will normally like it if they receive a diamond ring of some sort, which they can then show off to their friends. Of course getting a diamond ring is not (and should not be) the ultimate test of how much a guy loves you, but being girls, we all like to be pampered once in a while.

A pure diamond is sparkling and bright, and lasts forever. There are a few cuts to a diamond, namely princess and solitaire to name a few. Diamonds can come in various sizes too, like less than one carat to tens of carats. The common diamond is the white, or transparent type. However, there are some other rare ones like the blue diamond (as seen in "Titanic" - The Heart Of The Ocean), pink diamond (like the "Pink Panther"), or other coloured ones. Needless to say, these are much more expensive.

Diamonds, like other stones (sapphire, ruby) are so costly because there is a lot of work involved in mining and extracting them. Places where traces of diamond deposits are found will usually require hard labour and many hours of panning and extracting before a few small diamonds can be found. If one is lucky, he can find a big coloured one.

Unfortunately, those places rich in diamond ores are normally the poverty striken countries of Africa. When traces of diamonds are found, the natives are then required to toil and slave so that whatever diamonds found will then be sold to buyers (often white men), who then sell to big jewellery companies that then make the diamonds into necklaces or whatnots, and sell to the rich at exorbitant prices. This is why the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer.

If only people know just how unscrupulous some diamond merchants are in obtaining the diamonds at all costs. In the show "Blood Diamond", there are so many bloodshed and killings going on just to pan for diamonds. Poor African countries often have rebels who take away young boys and inculcate hatred in them so as to train them to be boy soldiers to look after the miners. These children have been trained to kill without battling an eyelid.

Villages are plummeted, people are killed, houses burnt. Women and children have to escape and become refugees in a neighbouring country. Strong men are then taken to work in the diamond mines, panning for diamonds, and whatever they found will be given over to the rebel soldiers. Those who kept any diamond for themselves will be killed on the spot.

White men who set up camp around those areas will not bat an eyelid in killing all the miners and rebels, as long as they get their diamonds. Diamonds equal money, oodles and oodles of it, and people will not hesitate to kill for money. And all for what? Just so sometime later, someone will get to wear that on some parts of the body. Like what that journalist said in the show, once you see something like this, somehow you find the cosmopolitan life of gossip, materialism and drinking latte meaningless.

It is not stated if this show is based on true events. But it is not impossible that the diamond trade comes with a very high price, and I am not talking in terms of monetary value, but human lives and sacrifices. I do not think all are like that, because there are many legitimate organisations who go through proper channels and reasonable employment to mine diamonds. At the end of the show, the message is to stop buying conflict diamonds. Do not buy anything that comes with such a high price.

However, how would one know if the diamonds are illegal? The reason people get diamonds at any cost is because there is a demand, and a high market. The more affluent ones are able to afford and buy diamonds anytime they like. It is because of this demand that people continue exploiting the poor and get a huge profit for themselves. By right, if the diamonds are found on their land, is it any right of anyone to take away? Will it not be like stealing from the poor?

I have to be more careful if and when I step into a jewellery shop in one of my moods for indulgence. I have to make sure the jewellery I buy consist of stones that come from proper legitimate organisations, and not smuggled in illegally, especially not those that comes with so many human lives attached, because even though diamonds are forever, but lives are not.

A Freshman Once Again!

I went to SIM for a briefing today. So I will be going back to school at the end of this month. Since I deferred from the exam last year, I had to retake the same module again. As a result, I can only take one module - the compulsory foundation module, instead of trying for two modules as planned.

The module I am re-taking is the Introduction to Humanities, where this semester, the first part will be covered. It comprises of Art Appreciation, Art History, Philosophy, Classics, Literature (Poems and Sonnets) and Political History. I am rather looking for it, despite the fact that I have almost completed the module if I had taken the exam. But there is no harm in refreshing what I have learnt, afterall, there may be new information and knowledge this year.

I am probably very behind the times, but apparently, now tertiary students can submit their assignments online! I do not mean just mere Multiple Choice quizzes, or fill in the blanks type of questions, which can be submitted electronically by just filling in the answers, but a thousand-word academic essay.

The university is coming up with a new student portal where our essay reports and assignments can be submitted electronically, by uploading via a special system which helps to check for plagiarism as well. The tutor will then review, mark, comment, and then return the assignment by re-uploading with the grade and comments.

Amazing! Imagine what modern technology can do! It cuts down a lot of time as well, because in the past, assignments have to be submitted by post to the tutors, and there were problems of the post being delayed, thus missing the deadline, or getting lost in the mail, so the tutor never received the assignment. In this case, can we then take the examination online as well? It would save so much time and resources!

One thing I notice about the difference between normal students (full-time students like kids and young adults) and part-time students (mature working adults) is in the attitude. Younger people go to school with the idea that it is more than just studying. They get involved in activities and have fun. They interact with their classmates and friends, study together and share their knowledge with each other. Which is why school friends normally become very close and the friendship remains for a long time.

Adult students, on the other hand, study for the sake of studying, ie they want to upgrade their qualifications simply because their work requires it, and they want to get the promotion and better prospects after they finish the entire course. Very few, if any, will want to study just for the interest, like me. So even though they are very hardworking and enthusiatic about the studies, they are less likely to interact with the peers.

But I guess this cannot be helped. We attend classes only once or twice a week (nights only), as compard to full-time students who stay on campus the whole day almost everyday. By the time people get off work, it is time to rush for class. By the time class ended, it is late and everyone wants to just go home, especially those who have families. As a result, people go for lectures and tutorials seeing their classmates but not knowing them.

Besides, they are also less willing to share. Last year, I sent a group email to my tutorial group, asking if they would like to share their assignments. That was after we got back our assignments, so my idea was to share and learn from each other, not to copy from each other. But no one responded. Back in my own school days, I have friends who have no qualms sharing and exchanging, just to see how each other wrote and handled the assignment questions.

This is from my own school experiences. I do know that there are many students, secondary or tertiary, who are also not willing to share, all with the fear that people may score better than them. This paper chase is making everyone more selfish. But to me, I feel that if we go to school, it is to learn, not just from the tutors, but from each other. So is it necessary to step on each other, and break each others' necks just to score well? Afterall, if one has the ability, then he / she will be able to score, even without all these antics. As long as one has tried the best, that is all that matters.

Feelings Of Indifference ....

I was chatting with a friend, and he told me something that really enlightens me. To backtrack, I know about this some time ago, as fellow blogger Richard wrote about it once, but hearing my friend's own experiences, I can feel how he is feeling. Upon reflection, I realise what he said makes a lot of sense.

Our conversation was on letting go of our hurts, and getting over someone. My friend said that he ever hated his ex very much, that for a while, he was put off entering into another relationship altogether. But when the right person came along, love just happens. So actually, to get over a love is not to hate a person, because by hating a person, it means the feelings are still there. Whereas if you no longer have any feelings for the person, you will be indifferent and disinterested, as the person's affairs does not concern you anymore.

Come to think of it, that is so true. Why would one bother hating another person, or being so emotionally strung up, unless one still have feelings for that person? Afterall, one is indifferent towards anyone else he / she has no feelings for. For instance, if I have no feelings for this person, whatever the person does is not my concern. Similarly, if I have feelings for this person, I will be affected by what he / she does to me.

So if a girlfriend is angry at her boyfriend because she finds him irresponsible and cowardly (and vice versa), that is because she loves him (and vice versa), thus whatever he does affects her more. By right, love should not have any expectations, but the irony is that if we truly love a person, somehow our expectations of this person will be the highest. It is not a matter of accepting and tolerating his / her quirks, but to someone one really cares about, one's reactions and emotions are directly proportional to the amount of feelings one has for that person.

Which let me remember something my parents once said to me. My mum said she does not go to our neighbour's house and discipline the kids there, but she does that to us, because she loves us, and she want us to be good. Sometimes we hurt her by the things we did, but it is only because she cares, that is why she feels hurt.

Thus the more strongly one feels for someone else, the more hurt and pain and emotional he / she gets. Love and hate is but a thin line. Once the love has been betrayed, hate will take its place, because feelings given out is never that easily taken back or forgotten.

Similarly, if it is someone one has no feelings for, then whatever that person does will not affect him / her. If I do not have any feelings whatsoever to someone, I will not care less what he / she does. It is only those I care deepest for that I mind what that person does, and will get affected by his / her actions.

Now I finally understand that if I still bear a tinge of hate towards some people, it means I still care strongly about them. And because I still feel so strongly about someone, that is why whatever he does affects me just as strongly. Until the day I feel indifferent to what people do, that will be the day when I no longer have feelings for them, no longer care for them. And for this to happen, it must have been something really major to kill my feelings altogether.

Should Uniforms Be Abolished?

I was sharing my old photos with our recent house guest (who went off last weekend), and she commented that my old school uniform was very nice! Well, I will never consider the uniforms of our local schools as nice, since they look about the same for a lot of schools.

Actually what is the concept of a uniform anyway? Students here all need to wear uniforms for schools, unless they are tertiary students. From what I know, in Japan, only secondary or high school onwards will the students need to wear uniforms. And I always like the Japanese high school uniforms - the sailor suit. Otherwise, it will be the western dress of top, bottom, vest, tie and jacket.

If I am not mistaken, in the West (America and Australia at least), only private or boarding school students need to wear uniforms. Students from the public schools can wear anything they like, as long as it is within regulations. The Australian private school uniform also comprises of a Western suit, and the uniforms are not cheap - about $100 or so for one set! Plus, there are different uniforms for summer and winter.

If the local students must have a uniform, can the uniform not be nicer? Most of the uniforms here comprise of a normal shirt (or blouse) and pants (or skirt). The skirt can be pleated or A-line, but the design is the same - plain. No floral prints, the most checks or stripes. Most school uniforms comprise of a white top and navy blue bottom. For boys, most uniforms are white throughout, which makes people hard to differentiate just exactly which school he comes from, especially since the school badges are so small.

Can the school or designers not be more creative, especially since uniforms are to be worn almost everyday and for the duration of the students' time in the school? Afterall, if one is to wear a school uniform, one will like to wear a nice one that he / she is not ashamed to show. I believe students will like to go to school, wearing the uniform proudly, rather than dreading about wearing the stupid uniform again!

Besides the design, some of the uniform's colours are also left to be desired. I ever came across a school where the uniform is bright red (not maroon or cerise, but crimson, the colour of blood!) for the top, and faded grey for the bottom. Odd combination. I seriously wonder how the students feel about having to wear the uniform for a few years.

A friend of mine went into a school where the uniform is green. It is one of the better girls' schools, and the uniform has a grass green blouse and emerald green pinafore. She complained about looking like a frog everyday. Yet, when she went into junior college, she chose a school where the uniform is also green, olive green top and bottom. I guess the school is near her place, and besides, it is one of the top five. So for almost the whole of her teenage life, she ended up "looking like a frog" almost everyday.

For a large part of my life, I had to wear the pinafore, the uniform of all convent schools. It consists of a white blouse, and a sea blue pinafore, with a pleated skirt, complete with a sea blue belt. We girls will wear the belt quite low on our waists, then puff out a bit of the pinafore above the belt, making the skirt appear a bit shorter (and higher up our knees). That is the fashion of how convent girls wear their uniforms. Any student who wears the belt the normal way, and pulls the pinafore skirt all the way down without puffing any out, is either a freshman, first time attending a convent, or an alien.

The only way to differentiate between the primary and secondary uniform is the school badge. The primary school badge is bigger, and the metal or steel badge is shinier, as if there is a layer of gloss on it. The secondary school badge is smaller, sleeker, and with a colour strip on top, to represent the house colour. It is duller as compared to the primary school badge, as there is no trace of any shine on it. Some convents have cloth badges sewn on the left top side of the pinafore.

My uniform is nothing really nice, but I must admit, it is at least better than a lot of other schools. At least I prefer this uniform to the other one I had, the one I wore for a brief period of my life. That uniform consists of a beige top and beige A-line skirt. The material is not absorbent, so I always became very uncomfortable whenever I started to perspire. Plus, the skirt is made of a thicker material, so I ended up rather hot and stuffy. The only nice thing is the red jacket, and striped tie, where only the priviledged few got to wear.

But the uniform I like the most is that of the prefectorial committee back in secondary school. It consists of a full white ensemble - white long-sleeve blouse (but the sleeves are often folded up), white A-line skirt, white and dark blue diagonal striped tie, a dark blue jacket, and black heels. The full white attire and tie is only worn on Mondays for the school assembly, but the tie has to be worn everyday with the pinafore.

The full ensemble, together with the jacket and heels, are only worn during school functions, guests visits, or the annual swearing of the prefect's oath. And only those in the prefectorial committee (not the normal prefects) are entitled to the full ensemble. So when I wore the full ensemble, I felt so proud and honoured, even though I only had the chance to wear it twice.

Should schools then abolish the uniform and let the students come in whatever attire they like? One thing about uniforms is that it does not cause so much distress as to what to wear for the day, especially for the older kids who are getting to be vain and refuse to be seen in anything that has already been seen by all. So thinking of what to wear everyday can be a chore.

On the other hand, if the student happens to be in a school where the uniform is of an awful design with an even more awful colour, he / she may not even be inclined to go to school anymore, just so as not to wear "that awful thing" out on the streets. But in the local context, is it feasible to abolish uniforms totally?

More Fun Memes

Since I found some really cool ones, I thought to just give a try. And here are the results.

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

What?! I never like espresso, too bitter for my liking. Now a cappuccino or mocha frappuccino suit me more. Besides, my caffein addiction is low where coffee is concerned. But if it comes to chocolate, then that is another story ....

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You tend to give more than take in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Amazingly true for this!

You may watch someone from afar before you finally decide to make your move. It takes a long time for you to develop an attraction to someone. Generally, you prefer to pick who you love. Anyone who tries to rush you is in for some heartache. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4 You are most compatible with people born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, and 29th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

This better not come true, I already have my heart broken 3 times!

You Are A Romantic

You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to. Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you. Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted. Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

So I am a confirmed romantic!

Your Hidden Talent

You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words. You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel. People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation. When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Really??

You Should Be a Romance Novelist

You see the world as it should be, and this goes double for all matters of the heart. You can find the romance in any situation, and you would make a talented romance story writer... And while you may be a traditional romantic, you're just as likely to be drawn to quirky or dark love stories. As long as it deals with infatuation, heartbreak, and soulmates - you could write it.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Hmmmm......

You Belong in Paris

You enjoy all that life has to offer, and you can appreciate the fine tastes and sites of Paris. You're the perfect person to wander the streets of Paris aimlessly, enjoying architecture and a crepe.

What European City Do You Belong In?

Ah.... Paris... the city of love!

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth. You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around. You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and usual way of speaking. How you life your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

I wanted to be Elmo! But this will do, especially with all the cookies!

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

Just like my horoscope - it is an air sign!

This About Says It All!

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great. One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog... And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes. Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

To clarify, in case others accuse me of plagiarism again, I got this from a website, not from anyone's blog. Any similarities to any blog is entirely coincidental!

A Year Of Fitness

So my youngest brother has finally been called up to serve the country. And he is going to a place where not many of his batch are being posted to. Let's just hope he can be more sensible when he comes out.

I finally have a goal for the year, and that is to be fit! That may not be anything great to many people, but it is something to me, due to my history of illness and proness to diseases, as well as my laziness and disinclination to exercise or embark in any physical sports (except for a few).

So I was thinking, since I have been singing so much, why not take a break and do something to improve my body before doing more voice training? Afterall, if I am physically healthier, my vocal cords and stamina will also be stronger, and my voice can be better perhaps? My slimming sessions will end soon, and besides, I do not want to just depend on the slimming sessions alone.

I have no interest in joining a gym because I do not like sweating away on mundane exercises. I rather do something interesting and enjoyable, yet can lose weight at the same time. Afterall, if I am to exercise, why not do something that I can have fun doing at the same time? Thus, I have signed up for a variety of dance and fitness programmes for the first half of this year.

First up is Adult Ballet. Laugh if you must, but there are many adults taking up ballet, most without any background. The last time I pirouetted was back in 1993, which is a very long time ago. Now I probably have to start all over from the beginning. Ballet helps in improving body physique. I realise I became more bottom heavy when I stopped dancing. Or maybe age plays a part too.

Next is Pilates. My aunt and cousin attended a Pilates class conducted at one of the country clubs, and they were raving about it. I heard about Pilates some years ago, as that is the fitness routine which airline crew has to follow. Apparently, it is more effective than mere sit-ups or other forms of exercises, as it really helps in toning the bottom part of the body, and for someone who have lots of tummy and thigh flabs to get rid of, this is just perfect!

There are also others like Intermediate Salsa (I hope I still remember how to follow and lead!), Tap Dancing, and Yoga. Perhaps people may think it is madness to do both Pilates and Yoga, but they are two totally different routines.

Yoga helps more of the entire body, so the body must be very flexible in order to twist and turn. Besides, yoga also helps in improving relaxation and spiritual well-being, through exercises and meditation, and I need lots and lots of spiritual well-being right now so as not to be too emotionally worked-up again.

So my time is pretty much tied up. Plus with school starting again in February, I hope I have enough energy left to do everything!

Songs That Have Impacted My Life

I never take to guys with facial hair. The guys I have been involved in are all clean-shaven with no trace of any facial hair. I do not care if they have hair anywhere else, but not on the face, because I do not like the feeling of getting all prickly and tickled up if we kiss.

That is until I know about him. Perfect features with a perfect voice to boot. Plus his songs are all soulful and touching. If I am allowed to dream, he will be my next dream lover (together with Brad, Orlando, and a certain Korean star). A great singer, talented song-writer, and publisher. Just perfect in every sense of the word. But then he is probably old enough to be my father, so a dream shall always remain a dream in this respect.

His songs actually mean a lot to me. I first heard of them when someone sang to me, quite some time ago. I remember the first song I heard is "Honey", then "Autumn Of My Life". These two songs touched me so much that I still cry whenever I come across them.

I never knew who sang the songs until recently, when I was searching for lyrics, I happened to stumble upon "Summer, the First Time", and the rest just fell in place. That was when I discovered the powerful voice behind the the two songs I always warm my heart to.

However, based on songs with similar theme, I much rather prefer Bee Gee's "First Of May" to the summer song. Perhaps this, together with the other two songs above, all mean a lot to me, and these songs have been a large part of my life, which will never come back.

Honey (Bobby Goldsboro)

See the tree
how big it's grown
But friend,
it hasn't been too long.
It wasn't big.

I laughed at her
and she got mad
The first day
that she planted it
it was just a twig.

Then the first snow came
and she ran out to
brush the snow away
so it wouldn't die.

Came running in all excited
slipped and almost hurt herself
And I laughed till I cried

She was always young at heart
kinda dumb and kinda smart
and I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy

Kept me up all Christmas Eve
two years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
When I came in from working late

'Cause I would know
that she'd been sitting and crying
over some sad, silly
late, late show.

And honey, I miss you
and I'm being good
And I'd love to be with you
If only I could

She wrecked the car
and she was sad
and so afraid that
I'd be mad.
But what the heck.

Though I pretended
hard to be
Guess you could say
she saw through me
and hugged my neck.

I came home unexpectedly
and caught her crying needlessly
in the middle of the day.

And it was in early Spring
when flowers bloom and robins sing
she went away.

And honey, I miss you
and I'm being good.
And I'd love to be with you
if only I could.

One day while I was not at home
while she was there and all alone
the angels came.

Now all I have is
memories of Honey
and I wake up at night
and call her name.

Now my life's an empty stage
where Honey lived
and Honey played
and love grew up.

And a small cloud passes overhead
and cries down on the flower bed
that Honey loved.

And see the tree
how big it's grown
But friend,
it hasn't been too long
it wasn't big.

And I laughed at he
and she got mad
The first day she planted it,
was just a twig.

Autumn Of My Life (Bobby Goldsboro)

In the spring of my life
she came to me
She brought sunshine where
winter winds had blown.

Then I took her for my wife
in the spring of my life
and she brought me a joy
I'd never know.

And the years they went by
in the spring of my life
And in summer
she blessed me with a child.

Love continued to grow
in the summer of my life
And in every morning sun
I saw her smile.

But in the autumn of my years
I noticed the tears
And I knew that our life
was in the past.

Though I tried to pretend
I knew it was the end.
For the autumn of my life
had come at last.

Now what, what do you say
to a child of ten.
How do you tell him
his daddy's going away?

Do I tell him that I've reached
the autumn of my life,
And that he'll understand
some winter's day.

Now a rose can't be found
on a snow covered ground
And the sun shine
through the clouds.

But I'm richer you see
for the years she gave to me
And I'm content
in the autumn of my life.

First Of May (Bee Gees)

When I was small
and Christmas trees were tall
we used to love
while others used to play.

Don't ask me why
but time has passed us by
someone else moved in
from far away.

(Chorus)
Now we are tall
and Christmas trees are small,
but you don't take
the time of day.

But you and I,
our love will never die,
but guess we'll cry
come First of May.

The apple tree
that grew for you and me.
I watched the apples
falling one by one.

And I recall
the moment of them all,
the day I kissed your cheek
and you were mine.

(Repeat chorus)

When I was small
and Christmas trees were tall
do do do do do
do do do do ....

Don't ask me why
but time has passed us by.
Someone else moved in
from far away ....