Lilypie

Friday, November 21, 2008

The "Right" Feeling ....

A friend who married about a year ago was sharing on why he chose his wife. He was looking around for someone, he dated a few girls but none felt "right". He and his wife could not even stand the sight of each other initially. She was not someone he would consider and he was definitely not someone she would even think of going out with.

Then they were thrown together often due to work issues, and after sort of being acquainted for a year or so, all of a sudden he felt that she had feelings for him and he was developing feelings for her. Then one day while they were out walking together he suddenly held her hand and she did not pull away. So that was like an unofficial confirmation. The next day he went on a business trip and when he came back two weeks later, they met for dinner and talked through it, and that was the confirmation. From that moment, he felt that was a relationship that could last, as everything felt “right”. How sweet!

I have written several stories on things like these. As far as stories go, one will know if things “feel right”. For example, in one of my stories, the hero was mourning the loss of his girlfriend, and he thought he would never get over her, but suddenly another girl appeared that could capture his attention and he felt it was the right person. Yeah, I know, another cheesy story.

Another story was from a friend’s experience. She and this guy were from the same school but they never really talked much. Then one day, both happened to be in the same country together, one for business, one for leisure. They recognized each other and went out for meals. Upon returning here, they met up quite often. They were meeting up for two years, but never really confirmed their “relationship”.

Then she wanted to go overseas for her post-graduate studies. She sensed he did not want her to go, but he did not make an attempt to stop her. So she left. But a few months later, she came back for vacation, and that was when he finally confessed how much he missed her when she was away. That was a few years back, now they are married. Both said that moment just felt so right.

Stories may mirror real life at times, but how would one know if things “feel right” in real life? Maybe because none of my relationships ever “felt right” (yes, none, not even the most serious one), so I have never felt anything that is “right”. So how did I know the relationships were “wrong”?

If we were “right” for each other (and I am not talking about interests, lifestyle and compatibility, but rather the feelings), then both of us would do our best for each other without complaints and gripes. Both of us would give everything without any restrain or reserve (I am not talking about sexual aspects). Both of us would bring out the best in each other and not the worst. Both of us would be able to see eye to eye somehow, even if we had lots of disagreements. Everything would just “click”.

It is hard to explain, and I cannot explain it unless I actually experience it. If one is to ask someone who is married, the person can only say everything “feels right”, without knowing how to explain why things “feel right”. The best explanation is – they simply do. When love happens, it happens, anytime, anywhere, any place. It does not come with a warning sign, but rather, a sudden realization. When that happens, even the most unlikely person will also be the “right” one.

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