A few days back, I was conversing with a certain someone, and he said I should be more outspoken. I was like, "Erh... I'm not outspoken enough?! Most people give me the opposite feedback instead". He said the problem with Asians is they are brought up to listen and follow, not question, so we should be more like our Western counterparts where we should speak up when we feel it is right and our due.
Now, how that makes sense! I am always one for speaking up, so I had been very argumentative since young (at least put that to good use during my debating days), but through the years, I have been told to cut down, stop questioning, and just do it. Never question authority and follow instructions. Thus, I toned down a lot.
However, I am not in favour of not speaking up, as evidenced by how loud and brash I can be, which kind of put a lot of people off, especially guys who were brought up in families where the mothers are submissive and with the mentality that the girl should listen to their every opinion. To some people, if they are used to people always giving in and listening to them, then they kind of get really offended if someone said a different point of view. To others, it is refreshing and a change from all the "yes-man" they have encountered. Whereas for me, I enjoy a good debate and exchange of ideas.
Just like during lunch today, I met up with an awfully quiet guy, so quiet that he is hardly noticeable! I started talking (as always when it comes to quiet guys), and he suddenly interrupted and asked, "Are you always so chatty?" So I said, "Well, I don't like silence, and I don't like monologues either, so it's good you finally start talking."
With that he said it is better to be quiet than loud, and I told him at times when two people meet each other for the first time, someone must break the ice and start the ball rolling, otherwise it defeats the purpose of meeting people. And then he asked if I was offended that he disagreed with me, and I said no, because he would be really offended if someone disagreed with him.
Interesting.... At times I really wonder what do men want? A "yes-man" (or woman in this case), someone who agrees to everything he says whether right or wrong, whether she agrees or disagrees? Or someone who enjoys bantering and arguing? The thing is, only Asians, Chinese in particular, will want someone submissive because men have been brought up to head the house and take care of the house, whereas women have been brought up to be the one running the house, swallow the suffering and stand by the husband no matter what happens (not that it is wrong, but it really depends on the context).
Whereas our western counterparts, on the other hand, will never be able to stand someone too submissive. They want someone with more backbone, someone they can banter with, someone with their own point of views. I am generalising of course, but it seems to be a distinctive difference between the two cultures. Oh well... maybe that is why I am not able to find any man if I am setting my sights only on people of the same race!
Now, how that makes sense! I am always one for speaking up, so I had been very argumentative since young (at least put that to good use during my debating days), but through the years, I have been told to cut down, stop questioning, and just do it. Never question authority and follow instructions. Thus, I toned down a lot.
However, I am not in favour of not speaking up, as evidenced by how loud and brash I can be, which kind of put a lot of people off, especially guys who were brought up in families where the mothers are submissive and with the mentality that the girl should listen to their every opinion. To some people, if they are used to people always giving in and listening to them, then they kind of get really offended if someone said a different point of view. To others, it is refreshing and a change from all the "yes-man" they have encountered. Whereas for me, I enjoy a good debate and exchange of ideas.
Just like during lunch today, I met up with an awfully quiet guy, so quiet that he is hardly noticeable! I started talking (as always when it comes to quiet guys), and he suddenly interrupted and asked, "Are you always so chatty?" So I said, "Well, I don't like silence, and I don't like monologues either, so it's good you finally start talking."
With that he said it is better to be quiet than loud, and I told him at times when two people meet each other for the first time, someone must break the ice and start the ball rolling, otherwise it defeats the purpose of meeting people. And then he asked if I was offended that he disagreed with me, and I said no, because he would be really offended if someone disagreed with him.
Interesting.... At times I really wonder what do men want? A "yes-man" (or woman in this case), someone who agrees to everything he says whether right or wrong, whether she agrees or disagrees? Or someone who enjoys bantering and arguing? The thing is, only Asians, Chinese in particular, will want someone submissive because men have been brought up to head the house and take care of the house, whereas women have been brought up to be the one running the house, swallow the suffering and stand by the husband no matter what happens (not that it is wrong, but it really depends on the context).
Whereas our western counterparts, on the other hand, will never be able to stand someone too submissive. They want someone with more backbone, someone they can banter with, someone with their own point of views. I am generalising of course, but it seems to be a distinctive difference between the two cultures. Oh well... maybe that is why I am not able to find any man if I am setting my sights only on people of the same race!
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