Lately I have been reading a lot of relationship articles. The tips are nothing which I have not already known, but I still like reading those articles because it makes me realise that it is not just local men that are oddballs, jerks, weirdos, or whatnots. What happened to me happened to many people in the world too, and there are many women in the world who are equally looking for a serious relationship but meet only losers.
Initially I thought it is just an Asian thing, with the chauvinism and the mentality of Asian men not willing to take a backseat to the more capable women of modern times. Then I realise there are many men in the Western world who do the same things too. Either they behave in an immature way, or they totally get scared off by capable women.
All I can say is there are many men in the world, no matter what country, that are equally insecure, lost, unreliable and not serious. So I am definitely not alone! These women are also equally frustrated at the quality of men they have been meeting lately. These incidents are enough to let women throw their hands up in despair and wonder where all the good quality men are?
In any case, the articles have a few tips for women :
1. Never initiate a contact. For instance, if the guy whom you have been dating for some time suddenly says he is too busy during the weekend and makes plans without you, then leave him alone and do not call him. Make your own plans, have fun without him. If you so much as mean anything to him, he will call you on his own.
2. If a guy suddenly disappears or blows hot and cold, stop entertaining him. Do not initiate a date or contact him. If he realises you are not grovelling at him, he may then start to really treasure you and initiate the contact. Otherwise you know where you stand.
3. Be yourself in a date. Do not go all out to try to impress. Be confident of who you are and do not make it seem you fall at a guy's feet, even if he may be someone you really really like.
There are other tips as well, but these are the basic ones that really work in common situations. Essentially, one should not make herself so readily available all the time. If the guy is really keen, he will be the one who refuses to let you go and be the one who chases you with all his effort without you asking or pining. A guy who is really into a girl will put her as his priority.
These are really true! I have seen it for myself! My female relatives and friends in loving relationships are those where the men do the chasing and really into the girl, the men are more keen than the women. I am not saying the women are not keen, but it is the men who are putting in more effort to ensure the girl he loves is happy above all else.
Whereas in the past I was always the one more keen and putting in more effort, the men just took for granted they could relax and not do anything, and worse, cheated me and left me hanging to die. How I wish I can find a man who truly loves me and my happiness means more to him than anything else!
Where were all these articles when I was growing up? Then I would have saved myself lots of trouble and heartache!
Initially I thought it is just an Asian thing, with the chauvinism and the mentality of Asian men not willing to take a backseat to the more capable women of modern times. Then I realise there are many men in the Western world who do the same things too. Either they behave in an immature way, or they totally get scared off by capable women.
All I can say is there are many men in the world, no matter what country, that are equally insecure, lost, unreliable and not serious. So I am definitely not alone! These women are also equally frustrated at the quality of men they have been meeting lately. These incidents are enough to let women throw their hands up in despair and wonder where all the good quality men are?
In any case, the articles have a few tips for women :
1. Never initiate a contact. For instance, if the guy whom you have been dating for some time suddenly says he is too busy during the weekend and makes plans without you, then leave him alone and do not call him. Make your own plans, have fun without him. If you so much as mean anything to him, he will call you on his own.
2. If a guy suddenly disappears or blows hot and cold, stop entertaining him. Do not initiate a date or contact him. If he realises you are not grovelling at him, he may then start to really treasure you and initiate the contact. Otherwise you know where you stand.
3. Be yourself in a date. Do not go all out to try to impress. Be confident of who you are and do not make it seem you fall at a guy's feet, even if he may be someone you really really like.
There are other tips as well, but these are the basic ones that really work in common situations. Essentially, one should not make herself so readily available all the time. If the guy is really keen, he will be the one who refuses to let you go and be the one who chases you with all his effort without you asking or pining. A guy who is really into a girl will put her as his priority.
These are really true! I have seen it for myself! My female relatives and friends in loving relationships are those where the men do the chasing and really into the girl, the men are more keen than the women. I am not saying the women are not keen, but it is the men who are putting in more effort to ensure the girl he loves is happy above all else.
Whereas in the past I was always the one more keen and putting in more effort, the men just took for granted they could relax and not do anything, and worse, cheated me and left me hanging to die. How I wish I can find a man who truly loves me and my happiness means more to him than anything else!
Where were all these articles when I was growing up? Then I would have saved myself lots of trouble and heartache!
4 comments:
Funny...
A lady just gave me the exact same advice on not making myself "too available".
But hey, if I am available, and a lady who I am interested in asks me out, does it make sense for me to claim that I'm busy and miss the opportunity of meeting her?
The mind boggles...
I agree with Ole' Wolvie.
Moreover, if both the gal and the guy don't want to seem "too available", then who's going to relent and get the ball rolling?
And Juphelia ... you are definitely not alone in your search for love!
I think its more like don't make yourself too available. Of course by all means go out as and when, but if say a guy or girl isn't that interested and you keep asking him / her out, then he / she may start keeping a distance.
The trick is to have your own life and interests instead of letting him / her think you revolve your life around him / her, as that's the fastest way to kill an interest (tried, tested and proven).
If both parties are interested, then by all means go ahead, cos if he / she is interested, sometimes you'll know from the actions.
Great relationship articles, I will follow those dating tips learn how to make a girl fall in love with you, thanks!
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