I came across an article from sociological studies on what both men and women want in a partner. In fact, all these traits are what I am looking for too, and most women I know. It does not need a study to know what women want!
Top 10 Traits Women Look For In A Partner :
1. Mutual Attraction and Love
Women no longer look for a man who will provide for them. They want to be in love. In 1939, when women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they ranked love at No. 5. The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.
2. Dependable Character
Women want a husband they can count on and this has not changed in years. Yes, women look to their spouse to be a lover and friend, but they also want him to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that he will be there and will be loyal.
3. Emotional Stability and Maturity
This has consistently ranked in women’s top 3 throughout the 20th century, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearances to the heart of the matter, they ranked good looks at No. 12. In other words, women do not like a man being too whiny and childish!
4. Desire for Home and Children
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. In 1977, they ranked this characteristic at No. 10. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
5. Education and Intelligence
Women have ranked education and intelligence at No. 5 since 1977, making it one of their most desirable male traits for 30 years. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college educations themselves. Once education became important in women’s lives, it became a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
6. Sociability
Sociability has been steadily moving up the list from No. 12 in 1939. The rise of the “love marriage”, a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
7. Pleasing Disposition
Surprisingly, a man’s likability does not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women consistently ranked it at No. 4. Perhaps women are now more willing to accept a man for who he is, despite the inevitable mood swings.
8. Ambition and Industriousness
Ambition has become less important to women over time, although it still ranks in their top 10 checklist. It may be that because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but aren’t looking for him to be the sole provider. In 1939 women ranked ambition at No. 3, and it was No. 4 in 1956.
9. Good Health
Health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so today. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage.
10. A Good Financial Prospect
Interestingly, modern women rank a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past. In 1939 women ranked it lower on the list, at No. 13. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realize that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Now let me see - does he fulfill all? Actually he does. Of course, some of these traits he already has an abundant of, and some he does not have enough and still need more of, but generally, he does fulfill all. Which is good news to me at least!
What about what men want? Next post I will go through the traits men want in women, which are actually rather similar to what women want in men!
Top 10 Traits Women Look For In A Partner :
1. Mutual Attraction and Love
Women no longer look for a man who will provide for them. They want to be in love. In 1939, when women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they ranked love at No. 5. The women’s movement has not only helped women pursue careers, it has also given them more choice in love.
2. Dependable Character
Women want a husband they can count on and this has not changed in years. Yes, women look to their spouse to be a lover and friend, but they also want him to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that he will be there and will be loyal.
3. Emotional Stability and Maturity
This has consistently ranked in women’s top 3 throughout the 20th century, signaling that it is a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearances to the heart of the matter, they ranked good looks at No. 12. In other words, women do not like a man being too whiny and childish!
4. Desire for Home and Children
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. In 1977, they ranked this characteristic at No. 10. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.
5. Education and Intelligence
Women have ranked education and intelligence at No. 5 since 1977, making it one of their most desirable male traits for 30 years. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college educations themselves. Once education became important in women’s lives, it became a more attractive trait in potential husbands.
6. Sociability
Sociability has been steadily moving up the list from No. 12 in 1939. The rise of the “love marriage”, a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.
7. Pleasing Disposition
Surprisingly, a man’s likability does not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women consistently ranked it at No. 4. Perhaps women are now more willing to accept a man for who he is, despite the inevitable mood swings.
8. Ambition and Industriousness
Ambition has become less important to women over time, although it still ranks in their top 10 checklist. It may be that because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but aren’t looking for him to be the sole provider. In 1939 women ranked ambition at No. 3, and it was No. 4 in 1956.
9. Good Health
Health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so today. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage.
10. A Good Financial Prospect
Interestingly, modern women rank a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past. In 1939 women ranked it lower on the list, at No. 13. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realize that a good economic partner is good husband material.
Now let me see - does he fulfill all? Actually he does. Of course, some of these traits he already has an abundant of, and some he does not have enough and still need more of, but generally, he does fulfill all. Which is good news to me at least!
What about what men want? Next post I will go through the traits men want in women, which are actually rather similar to what women want in men!
2 comments:
Juphelia,
I agree with you totally. All these are traits I look for in a man too. But the sad part is that there are hardly any single men left who have at least half of these traits. And that probably explains why there are so many single ladies around. They just don't make men like they used to.
I agree to a certain extent. Many men nowadays are rather dubious, to say the least. But actually there are still men who are like this, one only need to look. Most of the time, these traits do not surface immediately.
Like my case. When I met W, I thought he had none of these traits. In terms of education and intelligence, he did not fulfil what I was looking for. He is definitely not a super high-achiever or super-high flier for one, which was what I was looking for. This also ties in with financial prospects. He does not need to earn millions, but to me, I felt he could not give me the kind of lifestyle I am used to. And he has a family history of high blood pressure, cancer and diabetes. Plus, he was definitely not emotionally stable and mature for someone of his age. And we did not even have common friends - the kind of friends he has are the kinds whom I will not personally associate with.
But as we got involved in more things together, I saw how he behave towards others, to people he know and people he does not know, and I started to realise even though he is none of those things, he is a much kinder and sincere person than many high-fliers I met. As time went on, I saw that more and more of these traits started surfacing.
He is dependable and trustworthy for one. He is always there when I need, as compared to other guys who would always run away when I started confiding. He would always lend a listening ear to me, even if I could throw a tantrum. He did not judge, unlike others who judged me before they even knew me just because of my job or family background or education level.
When we started having more common friends, his sociability went up. He also became more emotionally stable and mature, and working towards a better education and job prospects, which equates to being more ambition and industrious and a better financial prospect.
And definitely, he has a desire for home and children. He loves children and animals, and tries his best to be nice to his parents despite how difficult they can be. Most importantly, he puts up with my temper and pickiness, which is definitely a very pleasing disposition. Plus he tries to work out, run and cycle just to have good health.
Soon, I started having mutual respect and affection for him, culminating in attraction and love. And this is where we are now.
So sometimes, one just need to give a chance to find out. :-)
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