Bookworm Deluxe : Lessons From 15,000 First Dates

It is finally launched! "15,000 First Dates", Violet's inaugural book! In this book, Violet drew on her six-year experience from Lunch Actually on what men want in a woman in order to date her another time.

There are some chapters that are really useful, like "The Dragon Lady". Nowadays, many women are highfliers, and no doubt, they did not get there by being meek and submissive. However, men do not like women to be equally aggressive on a date.

Personally, I have experienced that. There have been people who feedbacked that I sound serious all the time. I am actually very lucky to be able to find my boyfriend who is not put off by my temper, my aggression and my no-nonsense behaviour. If it is any other men, perhaps no one would be able to tolerate me.

Another chapter which I find true is that of first impressions. Men are visual creatures. Actually not just men, women too. I mean, if we meet up with a tall, handsome muscular man who is full of laughter with crinkly eyes with a good dress sense, we will also tend to favour him over another man who is short, balding, with a pot belly and dresses in a loose T-shirt, bermudas and slippers, right? Men function the same way too, but unlike women, men will not give the chance to know the woman once the initial first impression is spoilt.

Another chapter is on managing expectations. One can always say you expect this and that kind of man, and refuses to budge unless the this and that kind of man appear. But as a woman ages, she never realises that her this and that kind of man will then start looking for younger and better-looking women, leaving her with not many choices left. Hence, sometimes changing expectations is a good thing.

For instance, if I kept insisting and holding on to my criteria, I would never have met someone totally special and wonderful, who is so totally unlike who I was looking for, but who turned out to be the best for me.

There is also a chapter on the kinds of men to look out for. Essentially, we would like to marry men who want to get married too, and not a man who leads us on for years and then in the end do not wish to commit. That chapter will touch on what kind of man constitutes the marrying kind and what kind is the non-marrying kind.

This book is a really informative, insightful and true book that not only educates, but jolts women into reality. I know people will wonder why just women? This book focuses on the kind of women men want, so it helps women prepare for and ace dates, behave and how to get into a relationship and settle down.

Violet will be coming up with a new book for men, so that will be later on! The book is out in Kinokuniya and Times, so do go get it before it is sold out!

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