Lilypie

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Gender Issues In Literature

I took the day off today, because I have leave to clear, and also because I need to rush assignments (again). There are two assignments, one due today and the other tomorrow. The one today is on the evolution of the English Language in Commonwealth countries, and how these countries adapted their own form of English which carried on through the years.

The one due tomorrow is a comparison and contrast of two plays on the modern women. I really like this module! The texts we are learning are on the emancipation of women and how women discovered themselves and become independent, instead of subjecting themselves to the whims and fancies of men.

The first book, "The Colour Purple", was set in the 1930s United States. It focused on a typical poor black family. The central character is a black girl called Celie. She was raped by her father (whom she later discovered towards the end of the story to be her stepfather), had two children who were taken away from her, and got sent to be married to a man who abused her.

Later on, she met a singer who was her husband's mistress, and from there, learnt how to be independent, that she could talk back to her husband, leave the family, and set up a small business on her own. When she went back a few years later, she became a new woman, confident, independent and opinionated.

This time round, instead of cowering her to submission, her husband actually looked up to her in awe and respected her new independence and opinions. Through this, she also caused her step-daughter-in-law and the other women to stand up for themselves and stop being subjected to the abuse of their men.

The second book is a play called "A Doll's House" by Henrik Ibsen. It was set during Christmas week one year around the late nineteenth century. The central character is Nora, married to a lawyer who would soon be promoted to head the banking department, with two children. On the surface, she seemed like a contented little woman - housewife, sweet to her husband, loves her children, does everything her husband asked, endearing and lovable. But she is smart and capable, although never showed it in front of her husband.

When her husband got into debt once, she borrowed the money from a friend, and then worked by copywriting and needlework to try to pay it all off. She did all these without telling her husband because it was unheard of in those days for a woman to support the family while the man was not.

However, when the friend whom she borrowed money from got fired from his job, he wrote a letter detailing what she did and blackmailed her husband. Her husband confronted her and said she was not worthy of being his wife and mother to his children anymore. Later on, her friend returned the incriminating papers, as he said he did not wish to have a bad conscience.

Then, her husband was happy and said he forgave her. That was when she realised that, as much as her love for her husband was unconditional because she had no qualms doing everything for him, his was not. His love for her was conditional, provided she did not give him trouble, otherwise he would not stand by her and love her. She realised she was just a doll - a plaything to her husband's eyes, someone he could pull on the strings like a puppet.

That was when she decided to leave the family. Her husband pleaded her to stay, but she said their values were so different that only a miracle could make the marriage work already. Hence, she left and apparently, at the end of the play, there was a door slamming, indicating her new-found freedom and independence.

The third book is called "Top Girls" by Caryl Churchill, on working women of the late 1970s to 1980s. In those days, men were still of the idea that women could only be secretaries and whatnot, hence any woman who rose up against the ranks to become the top person in the company would be ostracised by both men and women.

It seemed as if in those days (which were just thirty or so years ago), men would refuse to work under a woman. Any woman being in the workforce would always be overlooked for promotion. The few women who made it tend to make "enemies". It was implied in the book that for a woman to make it, she had to sacrifice relationships, marriage and children and work her life away to go to the top. If she has a family and kids, then chances are she still has to give up her career to take care of her family.

I guess this is still the case now, even though things are getting better. Men and women are given more equal opportunities in the workforce, but how many CEOs do we know that are women? In almost every company I have worked for, the number one is still a man. Does it mean a woman cannot do the job?

I grow up in a family of strong women. I think I have mentioned before, my family has more girls than guys, and the girls are the smarter, more educated and more capable ones, except me. My female cousins mostly have Masters degrees, whereas my male cousins mostly have just a normal degree or honours.

My paternal grandmother was considered educated for her time, because she was able to read and write. Before her accident, she would read the newspaper everyday. She is able to recognise most of the words in the newspaper, even though she only had an equivalent of a Secondary One education level. When she was schooling, she was the only female in her school, and the top scorer. The boys teased her and insulted her, telling her to stay at home and be a girl.

My grandma ran home crying and wanted to quit school. It was her mother and brother who insisted she remained, and her brother even escorted her to and fro school and ensured she was no longer bullied. She could have continued her studies, but her hometown put up a regulation that girls were no longer allowed to go to school, and so, she had to stop.

Later she married my late grandfather and bore him two children. My grandfather was called away to a military school and war came. My grandma single-handedly brought her two children, her mother, her parents-in-law, some relatives and all the children of her relatives out of China and came down to Singapore. She took care of everyone, which is why her relatives, despite now being grandparents, still show her utmost respect.

Her genes passed down to my aunt, who, despite being a housewife, raised five children and took charge of the house so her husband could concentrate on his job. Her five children all went to university. Out of four daughters, one obtained her PhD and two Masters.

My uncle's second daughter, despite being divorced, is a civil servant, raising her two sons, supervises them in her studies, takes care of her parents, comes over to see my grandma, and still have time to meet up with her friends and me occasionally. She has a Masters too.

In contrast, her brother, being the favourite grandchild of my grandmother, had never once came along with her to see my grandma, and the only time he came was one night where he brought his wife over, and they stayed for just an hour or so before leaving.

Now my mother's side. My maternal grandmother is illiterate. She did not have the priviledge of going to school. When my grandfather passed away, leaving a young widow with four children, she brought them up herself single-handedly. All her children went to university.

My mother inherited my grandmother's strong-willed and resilience. She has high standards in everything. She is an ultra perfectionist, a very Type A and Eagle personality, and she has no qualms speaking her mind whenever she sees something not done to perfection.

Growing up with her was very stressful. She was ultra critical of everything I did. Nothing I did ever pleased her. If I did not run into some problems a few years back and she realised how her actions affected me, things would never have improved between us and I will never become who I am now.

My mother is a very strong career-woman. She goes to office early and leaves much later than everyone else everyday. Still, she managed to raise three of us, gave us the best education she could, and taught us whatever she could. Yet she still managed to study for her Masters part-time, takes care of the house, manages our maid and now takes care of both my grandmothers. My father is a typical laid-back lazy man.

So who says a woman cannot have everything? My mother and my older generation are good examples of women during their times. I am not as capable or powerful as my mother, but I hope when the time comes, I, too, can have everything - higher education, career, family. It needs a very supportive and understanding partner to achieve all these.

In this case, men have to be prepared that women are getting more and more capable and powerful, and accept that a powerful women need not mean she does not want a family. Men have to start accepting that women can have all, instead of being turned off by a woman who is capable.

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