Some people say to be with someone you cannot live without, yet others say to choose someone who is the best. But what if it is all one-sided, and the one you cannot live without just so happens that he or she can live without you? Or, like in the case of my friend, she does not know which one to choose since the two guys whom she deem as having the most potential are both equally good?
My friend said Guy A is like a male version of her. They have the same ideals, same interests (almost all), same outlook towards life, same opinions on certain issues which are critical to her like family values, cohabitation, fornication. They both like a more slow-paced and laid-back life, the same type of food and drinks, they both have the same approach towards lifelong learning, conservation of the environment, etc.
As a result, they are able to agree on most issues. Only thing is if they end up together, they may have conflict over religion. Besides, he is slightly younger than her and she prefers a guy older while he prefers a girl younger. And when she went out with him, although they were able to click well together, she felt it was a rather normal outing, nothing too exciting or out of the ordinary.
Guy B, on the other hand, is wittier and more humorous, with a sense of humour sometimes bordering on sarcasm and subtle insults. But she likes the fact that he is a good listener and attentive to her needs. When they went out, she had more fun as he is a more spontaneous person who does things on the spur of the moment and she likes the excitement of doing things on one's whims. And he is older than her!
Whereas Guy A is a more detailed person who plans out what to do every step along the way, just like my friend who plans out what she needs to do, although she can be rather spontaneous at times as well. And Guy B is of the same religion, so may not incur too much conflict in that area.
Thus she is finding it a hard choice deciding who to be better friends with, with the possibility of developing into a lifelong relationship. In her opinion, both guys are equal in terms of maturity, independence, focus, stability and responsibility.
Hmmm .... a hard choice, is it not? Much as I like to help her out by giving her some advice, in cases like these, it is really not within my power to say anything, because the ultimate choice lies with her on who she deems is the most suitable. The qualities I look for in a guy may not necessarily be the same as what she looks for.
There are so many questions one can ask when it comes to making a choice like this. Is compatibility more important than having a fun time? Is someone with a sense of humour more important than someone who has the same opinions? Is being detailed more important than being spontaneous? And (I know I have asked this several times) do religion and age really matter when it comes to finding true love and someone perfect for oneself?
If it is me, I will ask for a fusion of both guys, which is not that possible of course, since no one is perfect. But if I really have to choose, I will take the one who is more compatible and alike to me, since a lifelong relationship is easier to sustain if both parties have the same ideals, values and outlook towards the type of life they like to lead. Afterall, if both have to live and share their lives together, it would be best to be similar in terms of what they both want, then there will be much less conflict in the household.
My friend said Guy A is like a male version of her. They have the same ideals, same interests (almost all), same outlook towards life, same opinions on certain issues which are critical to her like family values, cohabitation, fornication. They both like a more slow-paced and laid-back life, the same type of food and drinks, they both have the same approach towards lifelong learning, conservation of the environment, etc.
As a result, they are able to agree on most issues. Only thing is if they end up together, they may have conflict over religion. Besides, he is slightly younger than her and she prefers a guy older while he prefers a girl younger. And when she went out with him, although they were able to click well together, she felt it was a rather normal outing, nothing too exciting or out of the ordinary.
Guy B, on the other hand, is wittier and more humorous, with a sense of humour sometimes bordering on sarcasm and subtle insults. But she likes the fact that he is a good listener and attentive to her needs. When they went out, she had more fun as he is a more spontaneous person who does things on the spur of the moment and she likes the excitement of doing things on one's whims. And he is older than her!
Whereas Guy A is a more detailed person who plans out what to do every step along the way, just like my friend who plans out what she needs to do, although she can be rather spontaneous at times as well. And Guy B is of the same religion, so may not incur too much conflict in that area.
Thus she is finding it a hard choice deciding who to be better friends with, with the possibility of developing into a lifelong relationship. In her opinion, both guys are equal in terms of maturity, independence, focus, stability and responsibility.
Hmmm .... a hard choice, is it not? Much as I like to help her out by giving her some advice, in cases like these, it is really not within my power to say anything, because the ultimate choice lies with her on who she deems is the most suitable. The qualities I look for in a guy may not necessarily be the same as what she looks for.
There are so many questions one can ask when it comes to making a choice like this. Is compatibility more important than having a fun time? Is someone with a sense of humour more important than someone who has the same opinions? Is being detailed more important than being spontaneous? And (I know I have asked this several times) do religion and age really matter when it comes to finding true love and someone perfect for oneself?
If it is me, I will ask for a fusion of both guys, which is not that possible of course, since no one is perfect. But if I really have to choose, I will take the one who is more compatible and alike to me, since a lifelong relationship is easier to sustain if both parties have the same ideals, values and outlook towards the type of life they like to lead. Afterall, if both have to live and share their lives together, it would be best to be similar in terms of what they both want, then there will be much less conflict in the household.
5 comments:
Too much of a good thing...
....which is why it's so hard to choose!
Well...
Put it this way: Most people change after marriage (or rather they show more of their real self).
I think one reason I can't get dates is because I can't be bothered to make myself 'look and feel better'. What you see is what you get, and that's that.
Ole'wolvie: I think we're digressing, but what the heck...let me join the fun of deviating the topic even further.
Unfortunately what the girls think about guys who "can't be bothered to make themselves look and feel better" is that such guys don't put effort to impress the girls. To make the girls feel special by the guys being bothered to put in extra effort.
I think efforts are what really matter afterall (Lady readers, this is a cue for you to chip in and either agree or disagree or just laugh at our ignorance).
Ole Wolvie : Maybe you haven't met the right one who can take you at face value? Better to be honest in the "what you see is what you get" approach.
Anon_X : From my point of view (can't speak for all ladies), I would feel more impressed if the guy makes an effort to look good, especially if meeting for the first time, because first impressions do count. But then, after the initial "looking good" part, if the guy has no personality, it would be useless too.
So as long as the guy has a good personality, even if he does not bother to dress up and look good after that it does not really matter because it is what's inside that counts.
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