My first day of work was just like any other first days of work. I got introduced around, briefed on the company hierarchy and personnel policies, computer set up with my own account and e-mail address (first time I am given the name “cell”, hmmmm…, could have been worse, in light of something else which my name is often misspelled as), and the best thing was that transport is provided to my area, so I am able to take free transport here and there from now on. The day passed with self-studying, familiarizing myself with all the documents and scanning e-mails for the various issues.
After work, I met K and we went to watch "Aeon Flux", a show that combines both science-fiction with action. Charlize Theron is a great actress in her own right. She can play gorgeous vixens, sexy assassins and plain, dowdy, big lesbian serial killers so well! I wanted to watch "Pride and Prejudice" but there was no good timing for that. We will definitely catch "Pride and Prejudice" and "King Kong" over the weekend. I am still looking for someone to watch "Narnia" with, as well as the new Chinese show "The Promise".
My youngest brother just received his MINDEF notification for army enlistment. He was screaming and shouting at why the letter came so early when he still has one more year of schooling to go. I told him that as far as I know, the ‘A’ level batches are normally the first ones to be called in, especially those from the Science stream. So he is likely to go in next December. Hopefully the army life will make him grow up more.
I told my best friend about the e-mail I received, and she said that he did talk to her before about this issue. Why am I the last to know again?! Last time when I got dumped, I was also the last to know. Anyway she said that he really regrets what he had done, because in me, there is someone who is so into him and willing to accommodate whatever he wants, whereas now he finds it very tiring to give in to his girlfriend all the time.
A bit too late for that now. I am already totally over him for so long. Now I want someone who can accept me completely for what I am, rather than what I can or willing to do for him. Besides, I am not about to come in between and break up anyone. I will never live with myself if I ever knowingly cause a couple to break up, all the more if they break up because the guy suddenly decides to be with me. The situation is just too complicating and emotional for all the parties involved.
Some will call it being honourable, others will say it is cowardice for not fighting for your own happiness. But what is your own happiness based on? Scheming, plotting, breaking up people just to achieve what you want or desire? If you really love someone, your happiness will come from knowing the person you love is happy, even if he or she is not with you. After all, even if you choose someone, that person has the right whether to choose you back. When this happens, find your own happiness elsewhere, rather than being jealous and breaking up a lovely couple. But in the case of my ex, I have no more feelings for him, so all the more I will not come in between he and his girlfriend.
Most guys I know are more generous when it comes to this issue. They have no qualms letting go of the girl they like once it is established that she does not like him. Some girls, on the other hand, will go all out to get the guy they like, even if it means being the third party. But have these girls ever considered what will happen if the guy really breaks up with the girlfriend and be with her? If he can sway so easily, what makes her think he will not sway just as easily if another girl does the same thing?
Perhaps girls are just by nature more selfish, petty and emotional. When those gorgeous stewardesses started throwing themselves at my ex, have they ever considered my feelings, or the fact that since he was attached he was out of bounds? A lot of my friends (male and female) will say that as long as the person is not married (and even married can always divorce), they will still stand a fighting chance. As far as I am concerned, once the person is in a relationship, he or she is out of bounds to the rest. He or she should not even be under consideration anymore.
My best friend almost made the same mistake. When one of her ex dumped her for another girl, she was so heart-broken that for a while, she still carried on with him as she was so reluctant to let go. So for a while, he was two-timing both she and his then-girlfriend (now his wife), until she felt like she was being the mistress, and it was not a very nice feeling, so she stopped all contact. When he wanted to marry that girl, he still came and asked for her opinion, saying that if she would take him back, he would go back to her. She told him since he had already decided to marry that girl, please stick to her and stop being so wishy-washy.
Guys will think it honourable and doing the right thing by not going after a girl who is already attached, no matter how much they like her. My childhood friend had feelings for a few girls before, but the one he really liked was attached, so he did not dare to go after her. Another friend used to like this female classmate a lot in his class, and she actually responded to him, until he found out that she was attached and did not tell him, so he promptly stayed away from her.
A close friend once experienced this situation. Few years back when he was still with his ex-girlfriend, he was very busy since he is the ultra-smart type, just completed his Masters in Mathematics, attends chess competitions and Magic : The Gathering tournaments all over the world (which reminds me, I have to contact him soon about the Ravinca booster pack which he promised to help me get), and being involved in university hall activities and orientation.
His ex-girlfriend had a common complaint of many girlfriends – he was always too busy for her. The last straw came was after his examinations, he went to Japan for an international chess competition, coming back just in time to help out at the Freshman Orientation Camp. His ex was hopping mad, so he said since she wanted to spend time with him, help him out with the camp.
Big mistake. Never say that to your girlfriend after she complains of you not spending enough time with her, because it will only make her angrier. When she complains, it means she wants you to spend some quality time with her, not for you to ask her to help in your activities. Actually for me, I will gladly help out just to spend time with my guy, but that is just me.
Anyway, the girl met her JC classmate at the orientation – a guy who had been rather smitten with her even throughout JC days. He started going after her again, even though he knew she was still attached to my friend. And since my friend was so busy, each time the guy asked the girl out, she went ahead and my friend allowed it.
A week later, she broke up with my friend and went with her JC classmate. My friend was so angry that he confronted that guy. That guy just said that it was my friend’s loss for not being able to hold on to his girlfriend, and he would be a coward if he did not fight for his own happiness. Honestly, in this respect, will he really be a coward if he did not go after the girl since she was attached? Or should he be honourable and let her be?
Anyway my friend did not lose out big time as well. He found another girl a while later, and they recently registered their marriage. But after hearing my friend’s experiences and my own experiences, I know for certain that it is never a good thing to go after someone who is already attached, no matter how much you like that person. Which is why I always tell my brothers never go after a girl who is already attached. Is this being honourable or cowardly? You decide.
After work, I met K and we went to watch "Aeon Flux", a show that combines both science-fiction with action. Charlize Theron is a great actress in her own right. She can play gorgeous vixens, sexy assassins and plain, dowdy, big lesbian serial killers so well! I wanted to watch "Pride and Prejudice" but there was no good timing for that. We will definitely catch "Pride and Prejudice" and "King Kong" over the weekend. I am still looking for someone to watch "Narnia" with, as well as the new Chinese show "The Promise".
My youngest brother just received his MINDEF notification for army enlistment. He was screaming and shouting at why the letter came so early when he still has one more year of schooling to go. I told him that as far as I know, the ‘A’ level batches are normally the first ones to be called in, especially those from the Science stream. So he is likely to go in next December. Hopefully the army life will make him grow up more.
I told my best friend about the e-mail I received, and she said that he did talk to her before about this issue. Why am I the last to know again?! Last time when I got dumped, I was also the last to know. Anyway she said that he really regrets what he had done, because in me, there is someone who is so into him and willing to accommodate whatever he wants, whereas now he finds it very tiring to give in to his girlfriend all the time.
A bit too late for that now. I am already totally over him for so long. Now I want someone who can accept me completely for what I am, rather than what I can or willing to do for him. Besides, I am not about to come in between and break up anyone. I will never live with myself if I ever knowingly cause a couple to break up, all the more if they break up because the guy suddenly decides to be with me. The situation is just too complicating and emotional for all the parties involved.
Some will call it being honourable, others will say it is cowardice for not fighting for your own happiness. But what is your own happiness based on? Scheming, plotting, breaking up people just to achieve what you want or desire? If you really love someone, your happiness will come from knowing the person you love is happy, even if he or she is not with you. After all, even if you choose someone, that person has the right whether to choose you back. When this happens, find your own happiness elsewhere, rather than being jealous and breaking up a lovely couple. But in the case of my ex, I have no more feelings for him, so all the more I will not come in between he and his girlfriend.
Most guys I know are more generous when it comes to this issue. They have no qualms letting go of the girl they like once it is established that she does not like him. Some girls, on the other hand, will go all out to get the guy they like, even if it means being the third party. But have these girls ever considered what will happen if the guy really breaks up with the girlfriend and be with her? If he can sway so easily, what makes her think he will not sway just as easily if another girl does the same thing?
Perhaps girls are just by nature more selfish, petty and emotional. When those gorgeous stewardesses started throwing themselves at my ex, have they ever considered my feelings, or the fact that since he was attached he was out of bounds? A lot of my friends (male and female) will say that as long as the person is not married (and even married can always divorce), they will still stand a fighting chance. As far as I am concerned, once the person is in a relationship, he or she is out of bounds to the rest. He or she should not even be under consideration anymore.
My best friend almost made the same mistake. When one of her ex dumped her for another girl, she was so heart-broken that for a while, she still carried on with him as she was so reluctant to let go. So for a while, he was two-timing both she and his then-girlfriend (now his wife), until she felt like she was being the mistress, and it was not a very nice feeling, so she stopped all contact. When he wanted to marry that girl, he still came and asked for her opinion, saying that if she would take him back, he would go back to her. She told him since he had already decided to marry that girl, please stick to her and stop being so wishy-washy.
Guys will think it honourable and doing the right thing by not going after a girl who is already attached, no matter how much they like her. My childhood friend had feelings for a few girls before, but the one he really liked was attached, so he did not dare to go after her. Another friend used to like this female classmate a lot in his class, and she actually responded to him, until he found out that she was attached and did not tell him, so he promptly stayed away from her.
A close friend once experienced this situation. Few years back when he was still with his ex-girlfriend, he was very busy since he is the ultra-smart type, just completed his Masters in Mathematics, attends chess competitions and Magic : The Gathering tournaments all over the world (which reminds me, I have to contact him soon about the Ravinca booster pack which he promised to help me get), and being involved in university hall activities and orientation.
His ex-girlfriend had a common complaint of many girlfriends – he was always too busy for her. The last straw came was after his examinations, he went to Japan for an international chess competition, coming back just in time to help out at the Freshman Orientation Camp. His ex was hopping mad, so he said since she wanted to spend time with him, help him out with the camp.
Big mistake. Never say that to your girlfriend after she complains of you not spending enough time with her, because it will only make her angrier. When she complains, it means she wants you to spend some quality time with her, not for you to ask her to help in your activities. Actually for me, I will gladly help out just to spend time with my guy, but that is just me.
Anyway, the girl met her JC classmate at the orientation – a guy who had been rather smitten with her even throughout JC days. He started going after her again, even though he knew she was still attached to my friend. And since my friend was so busy, each time the guy asked the girl out, she went ahead and my friend allowed it.
A week later, she broke up with my friend and went with her JC classmate. My friend was so angry that he confronted that guy. That guy just said that it was my friend’s loss for not being able to hold on to his girlfriend, and he would be a coward if he did not fight for his own happiness. Honestly, in this respect, will he really be a coward if he did not go after the girl since she was attached? Or should he be honourable and let her be?
Anyway my friend did not lose out big time as well. He found another girl a while later, and they recently registered their marriage. But after hearing my friend’s experiences and my own experiences, I know for certain that it is never a good thing to go after someone who is already attached, no matter how much you like that person. Which is why I always tell my brothers never go after a girl who is already attached. Is this being honourable or cowardly? You decide.
6 comments:
好きずきです。
Each to his/her own.
In general, I personally would not, because it would be too troublesome. Besides, if the guy really "cannot make it", it is the gal's perogrative to dump him ASAP.
I would not want to be with a gal who only sticks to a relationship for all the wrong reasons.
just 1 statement - u shud be smart enough to judge the fate of ur relationship. just make sure u dont get hurt in the end, as that is really painful!
All's fair in love and war. Or something like that. I respect those girls/guys who go all out to get the guys/girls they like.
Although I hope they are smart enough to decide to dump the targets who they think "sway so easily".
Yeah, like Ole'wolvie said it's too troublesome, thus the respect. They put effort at least. Honorable or not--who are we to judge?
Ole Wolvie & Anons : Sometimes people do hold on for the wrong reasons, simply on the basis that they have been together for so long and would have no idea how to live life without the other party. It takes a real brave soul to call off the whole thing, despite all the hurt and pain.
I agree with Anon_X that it is respectable if people do put in effort to get the person they like. However, if the person they like is not into them and prefer someone else, then the most gracious thing would be to step down.
One of my friends pointed out that it is one thing if the person you like prefers someone else but unattached, but it is another thing altogether if the person you like is in a relationship.
True, who are we to judge whether it is honourable or not, but from a personal point of view, I will never go for someone who is already attached. I do not consider it a victory if I can get the guy by breaking up the couple cos it will appear that the guy can stray so easily, thus no security.
Okay, I won't argue whether or not it's gracious. But let me point out the amusing thing about people--guys & girls alike--is that sometimes, most of the times, many of them do not really know what their hearts truly desire.
Ah, that I agree. But then human emotions are but the most complicating feelings in the world. Most people never did sort out exactly how they feel, which is why so many relationships fail.
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