After so many trips with my family, I come to realise that sometimes it is not all sugar and spice. Despite being family members, there will still be differences in opinions and generation gaps, with the older generation forever not taking into account what we younger generation was interested in doing and just doing whatever they liked.
Thus it is not a good idea sometimes to travel in such close proximity with the family because you see each other's peculiarities and at times you may not tolerate or accept these little quirks, especially if one or two in the group was very controlling and always liked things to be done his or her way. Still, family members accept you at face value and no matter how many differences you have with each other, they would not blow things out of proportion.
Travelling with friends can be more fun, especially if the friends like to do the same things as you. Everyone can go to the beach, or shopping, or trekking, or visiting the various attractions of the country together. Even if some of the friends prefer doing something else, it still does not matter as everyone can just meet up at a certain place and time. Travelling with friends can be more relaxing and laid-back as being just friends, we respect each other's choices and try to accommodate and compromise.
Travelling as a couple can be a different story altogether. My friends who are attached say that travelling as a couple can either make or break the relationship, especially if each party has very differing views on what to do. If the girl wants to go shopping but the guy wants to go to the beach, or if the guy wants to just stay in the room and sleep and the girl wants to see the various attractions, there will definitely be conflict.
Then there will also be conflict on why one uses the bathroom for so long, why one snores so loudly in the sleep, and there are some who even quarrel on which side of the bed they want to be! Some also quarrel over whether to have separate rooms, or for a single room, whether it is a twin-sharing one or a deluxe one. Generally, guys would be the one to prefer to share a single deluxe room, whereas girls would generally prefer to have twin-sharing or even separate rooms, so as to protect themselves.
I have never travelled with any of my guys solely as a couple, although my second ex and I did take a short trip to Bintan together with my best friend. We just booked a single room with two twin beds and a couch, and we joined the beds together so all three of us could sleep on the beds. There was hardly any conflct there since it was a free and easy trip. We did not even plan any itinerary and just went wherever we wanted on the spur of the moment.
We took evening walks along the beach, dined under the moonlight, went sun-tanning and swimming in the morning, went for a spa and massage session, took the bus to the city area for the night market and bought some things for the family. We really accommodated each other and did everything together since there were no difference in opinions on what to do.
Sometimes it does not take a trip to make or break a relationship. Even a chalet stay can cause conflict. I went for a lot of chalet stays with my third ex and our friends before since we had a friend who used to work for NTUC, so could get free chalets quite often, but I have never wanted to stay in a chalet alone with him, simply because he did not give me the faith that he could be trusted.
Even spending a night in a chalet with him together with my friends, he could do all kinds of things to me which I absolutely loathed. His opinion was that as a couple there should not be any reservation, but I think that even as a couple, a line has to be drawn especially since we were not officially married or anything. So when his parents invited me to go to Malaysia with them, I refused politely. He blew up at me and said he wanted so badly to go on a tour with me.
I told him straight that we would be touring with his parents, and if I went, they would have to get an extra room. He said the extra room would be for both of us, which was precisely what I did not want! If it was my second ex I seriously would not have minded because he was more of a gentleman as he would never do anything physical to me without asking for my permission first.
My third ex kept asking me why I refused to go on the trip with them so finally I told him I did not want to share a room alone with him. He was angry and said why was that issue the only thing I was concerned about, with which I asked him to tell me straight in the face that he was really not thinking of doing anything I would not approve of. He could not do that so I vehemently refused to go on the trip and share a room with him unless he could exercise some self-restraint.
Someone once told me I am too proper and conservative, but actually I do not think so already. I have no qualms sharing a room with a guy, even if he is not my boyfriend, as long as he is someone I can trust. I have slept together with guys before in chalets, but it was just sleeping, no hanky-panky or whatsoever.
Before my cousins were married, they did not even share a room with their husbands or wives, even though they have spent nights at each others' places and gone on tours together. Even after they got their own homes, they did not move in together until the day they got married.
Right now I am helping my sponsor to try to book rooms for a choir camp. There will be a mixture of guys and girls, so I thought to book two rooms since there would be about fifteen people coming. For me, I do not mind everyone just sleeping together as it is just sleeping, but he said we need more rooms since there are guys and girls and there will be two rooms for girls and two rooms for guys. And people still think I am too proper.
I still think there is nothing wrong with couples sharing a room together even before marriage, provided nothing else goes on, although some people would frown upon this. But it is good to see that there are people who still hold their integrity and honour at the highest level by knowing what is right and what is not. A real welcoming change from the pricks I meet lately who think sex and physical display of affection are the only ways to get the attention of the opposite gender.
Thus it is not a good idea sometimes to travel in such close proximity with the family because you see each other's peculiarities and at times you may not tolerate or accept these little quirks, especially if one or two in the group was very controlling and always liked things to be done his or her way. Still, family members accept you at face value and no matter how many differences you have with each other, they would not blow things out of proportion.
Travelling with friends can be more fun, especially if the friends like to do the same things as you. Everyone can go to the beach, or shopping, or trekking, or visiting the various attractions of the country together. Even if some of the friends prefer doing something else, it still does not matter as everyone can just meet up at a certain place and time. Travelling with friends can be more relaxing and laid-back as being just friends, we respect each other's choices and try to accommodate and compromise.
Travelling as a couple can be a different story altogether. My friends who are attached say that travelling as a couple can either make or break the relationship, especially if each party has very differing views on what to do. If the girl wants to go shopping but the guy wants to go to the beach, or if the guy wants to just stay in the room and sleep and the girl wants to see the various attractions, there will definitely be conflict.
Then there will also be conflict on why one uses the bathroom for so long, why one snores so loudly in the sleep, and there are some who even quarrel on which side of the bed they want to be! Some also quarrel over whether to have separate rooms, or for a single room, whether it is a twin-sharing one or a deluxe one. Generally, guys would be the one to prefer to share a single deluxe room, whereas girls would generally prefer to have twin-sharing or even separate rooms, so as to protect themselves.
I have never travelled with any of my guys solely as a couple, although my second ex and I did take a short trip to Bintan together with my best friend. We just booked a single room with two twin beds and a couch, and we joined the beds together so all three of us could sleep on the beds. There was hardly any conflct there since it was a free and easy trip. We did not even plan any itinerary and just went wherever we wanted on the spur of the moment.
We took evening walks along the beach, dined under the moonlight, went sun-tanning and swimming in the morning, went for a spa and massage session, took the bus to the city area for the night market and bought some things for the family. We really accommodated each other and did everything together since there were no difference in opinions on what to do.
Sometimes it does not take a trip to make or break a relationship. Even a chalet stay can cause conflict. I went for a lot of chalet stays with my third ex and our friends before since we had a friend who used to work for NTUC, so could get free chalets quite often, but I have never wanted to stay in a chalet alone with him, simply because he did not give me the faith that he could be trusted.
Even spending a night in a chalet with him together with my friends, he could do all kinds of things to me which I absolutely loathed. His opinion was that as a couple there should not be any reservation, but I think that even as a couple, a line has to be drawn especially since we were not officially married or anything. So when his parents invited me to go to Malaysia with them, I refused politely. He blew up at me and said he wanted so badly to go on a tour with me.
I told him straight that we would be touring with his parents, and if I went, they would have to get an extra room. He said the extra room would be for both of us, which was precisely what I did not want! If it was my second ex I seriously would not have minded because he was more of a gentleman as he would never do anything physical to me without asking for my permission first.
My third ex kept asking me why I refused to go on the trip with them so finally I told him I did not want to share a room alone with him. He was angry and said why was that issue the only thing I was concerned about, with which I asked him to tell me straight in the face that he was really not thinking of doing anything I would not approve of. He could not do that so I vehemently refused to go on the trip and share a room with him unless he could exercise some self-restraint.
Someone once told me I am too proper and conservative, but actually I do not think so already. I have no qualms sharing a room with a guy, even if he is not my boyfriend, as long as he is someone I can trust. I have slept together with guys before in chalets, but it was just sleeping, no hanky-panky or whatsoever.
Before my cousins were married, they did not even share a room with their husbands or wives, even though they have spent nights at each others' places and gone on tours together. Even after they got their own homes, they did not move in together until the day they got married.
Right now I am helping my sponsor to try to book rooms for a choir camp. There will be a mixture of guys and girls, so I thought to book two rooms since there would be about fifteen people coming. For me, I do not mind everyone just sleeping together as it is just sleeping, but he said we need more rooms since there are guys and girls and there will be two rooms for girls and two rooms for guys. And people still think I am too proper.
I still think there is nothing wrong with couples sharing a room together even before marriage, provided nothing else goes on, although some people would frown upon this. But it is good to see that there are people who still hold their integrity and honour at the highest level by knowing what is right and what is not. A real welcoming change from the pricks I meet lately who think sex and physical display of affection are the only ways to get the attention of the opposite gender.
2 comments:
You should have said "I have slept on the same bed with..." instead :P
I think the last time I shared beds was on a chalet, where 8 people slept in the room. (6 on the twin bed)
I somehow dislike sharing beds that has no separators... This might be a problem in married life... *sigh* (Sharing room is ok)
In that case, perhaps you should then buy two twin beds when you get married, so you can join them together or separate them at will. Wonder if your future wife is agreeable to that though.
Post a Comment