I feel as if I have been away too long, although it has only been ten days or so. But within ten days, a lot of things can happen. Like when I met up with my cousin in Melbourne, she is now single, when the last time she came back in May, she was still in a relationship. Not only that, suddenly I have friends who have become attached, friends broken up, friends getting married, friends getting divorced. All these in a matter of just over a week!
A few of my friends just got attached. And I am really happy for them! It is always a good thing to find that special other half of your life. The last news I heard was that a certain someone had also just gotten attached, and surprisingly, I felt nothing except real happiness for him and hoping that all will work out well. At last I can finally, to coin a phrase from a friend, close the chapter so to speak.
This recent trip in close proximity with my family members was good as we spent time bonding, but somewhat irritating as the older generation started lamenting on our love lives. Perhaps because they had it too easy, so could not figure out how come our love lives are so complicated.
Just take my mum's family. Her eldest brother and sister-in-law met while studying in Sydney, my mum's sister met her husband while undergoing teacher training, my mum's other brother and his wife were childhood friends and neighbours, and my mum met my dad in university. Very smooth-sailing and natural.
When it comes to our generation, a lot of things started spicing up. My eldest cousin (the only child of my mum's sister) was single well into her twenties and her parents started worrying for her. Then she met her husband at a social dance class, and the rest is history. We were all so happy for her that she finally found her soulmate.
My younger cousin (the eldest daughter of my mum's second brother) knew her ex as they were university course mates and attended the same church. Things seemed well on the surface, but in the end, he dumped her for another girl, and my poor cousin was in such a messed-up state that I tried to do everything I could to help her. She took more than a year to get over him, and till now, she is still reluctant to enter into another relationship.
Her younger sister (the one in Melbourne) broke up with her ex because of the distance. She met him when she just entered the university and he was in his final year. He is a Malaysian, so he went back to run his family business after graduation, and they carried on a long-distance relationship for two years. In the end, she just gave up and decided to call the whole thing off since it was not likely that she would be coming back for a while.
My three cousins in Australia went through about the same thing. My eldest cousin had a series of girlfriends before he finally met his wife and settled down with her. My second cousin liked a few girls before finally finding his current girlfriend. And the youngest one had a girlfriend but they ended a year later.
And me? My situation is probably much more complicated, which is why the older generation is now frowning upon us. My cousin in Melbourne was lamenting that every time her mum called her, she would ask her to go out and socialise around and try to find someone to settle down with. I daresay her elder sister got it worse than her.
My mum is doing the same thing to me. Seeing my eldest cousin and her husband so happy on the trip made her yearn for something like this as well. So she kept dropping hints on when I am going to settle down. I as much as told her I cannot settle down until I find someone I can settle down with, and someone whom they think is good enough, and even then, these things take the right fate and timing, not just instantaneous like this.
My aunt also said since I have so many guy friends, how can it be possible there is none? My guy friends are just good friends, there are some I have known for many years and nothing has ever happened, there are some I am close to but also nothing has happened, and there are some I have known for just a few months, and so far nothing has happened too. It is not a matter of me making things happen, but the fact remains that I have not felt any spark with anyone (except for someone, but he too is already taken as of now).
So I suppose the older generation will just have to accept our situations and stop lamenting and putting pressure on us. We are already adults who know what to do. I, too, hope that I can find someone good whom I can be with, but if nothing has happened, I just have to wait and see.
A few of my friends just got attached. And I am really happy for them! It is always a good thing to find that special other half of your life. The last news I heard was that a certain someone had also just gotten attached, and surprisingly, I felt nothing except real happiness for him and hoping that all will work out well. At last I can finally, to coin a phrase from a friend, close the chapter so to speak.
This recent trip in close proximity with my family members was good as we spent time bonding, but somewhat irritating as the older generation started lamenting on our love lives. Perhaps because they had it too easy, so could not figure out how come our love lives are so complicated.
Just take my mum's family. Her eldest brother and sister-in-law met while studying in Sydney, my mum's sister met her husband while undergoing teacher training, my mum's other brother and his wife were childhood friends and neighbours, and my mum met my dad in university. Very smooth-sailing and natural.
When it comes to our generation, a lot of things started spicing up. My eldest cousin (the only child of my mum's sister) was single well into her twenties and her parents started worrying for her. Then she met her husband at a social dance class, and the rest is history. We were all so happy for her that she finally found her soulmate.
My younger cousin (the eldest daughter of my mum's second brother) knew her ex as they were university course mates and attended the same church. Things seemed well on the surface, but in the end, he dumped her for another girl, and my poor cousin was in such a messed-up state that I tried to do everything I could to help her. She took more than a year to get over him, and till now, she is still reluctant to enter into another relationship.
Her younger sister (the one in Melbourne) broke up with her ex because of the distance. She met him when she just entered the university and he was in his final year. He is a Malaysian, so he went back to run his family business after graduation, and they carried on a long-distance relationship for two years. In the end, she just gave up and decided to call the whole thing off since it was not likely that she would be coming back for a while.
My three cousins in Australia went through about the same thing. My eldest cousin had a series of girlfriends before he finally met his wife and settled down with her. My second cousin liked a few girls before finally finding his current girlfriend. And the youngest one had a girlfriend but they ended a year later.
And me? My situation is probably much more complicated, which is why the older generation is now frowning upon us. My cousin in Melbourne was lamenting that every time her mum called her, she would ask her to go out and socialise around and try to find someone to settle down with. I daresay her elder sister got it worse than her.
My mum is doing the same thing to me. Seeing my eldest cousin and her husband so happy on the trip made her yearn for something like this as well. So she kept dropping hints on when I am going to settle down. I as much as told her I cannot settle down until I find someone I can settle down with, and someone whom they think is good enough, and even then, these things take the right fate and timing, not just instantaneous like this.
My aunt also said since I have so many guy friends, how can it be possible there is none? My guy friends are just good friends, there are some I have known for many years and nothing has ever happened, there are some I am close to but also nothing has happened, and there are some I have known for just a few months, and so far nothing has happened too. It is not a matter of me making things happen, but the fact remains that I have not felt any spark with anyone (except for someone, but he too is already taken as of now).
So I suppose the older generation will just have to accept our situations and stop lamenting and putting pressure on us. We are already adults who know what to do. I, too, hope that I can find someone good whom I can be with, but if nothing has happened, I just have to wait and see.
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