Some friends and I are coordinating a wedding for our mutual friend. The big day is tomorrow, and my kind supervisor has allowed me time off since I gave my word few months before already that I will help her out for the day. Thus, by hook or by crook, I will turn up for the wedding since I already promised her.
Yesterday evening we met at one of the "sister"'s house to help in making corsages, hand bouquets, car decoration and practising for the songs we will be singing in dedication to the wedding couple. My friend the bride coordinator ran through the entire schedule for us. So by the time we actually finished everything, it was already past midnight.
Actually my friend was only supposed to be the Chinese Master of Ceremonies, but because the original coordinator pulled out, she had to take over everything. So she had to write the speech, organise the procedure, email us the scores, came to my place to use the CD-burner (and in the end wasted her time as my burner malfunctioned) and run through the whole thing with us on what time we bridesmaids are supposed to reach the bride's home, and what time the best men are supposed to pick up the groom.
So since there are so many of us, why was she the one doing everything? The reason being a lot of people who promised to help one by one pulled out at the last minute. As a result, there was a lot of miscommunication and even as at yesterday, a lot of details were still unsettled. If I had known the outcome, I would have helped my friend out since I had coordinated weddings before, but I did not know how messy everything was until Saturday itself, and by then, there was hardly time to really do much.
A lot of things went wrong, like the English Master of Ceremonies pulled out at the last minute, so we had to get another friend to replace, and he only knew of it yesterday. Then some guests are not able to turn up despite confirming, and there will be some empty seats since it is too late to ask anyone else. I really pity the poor bride who must be really stressed up.
Things like this make one very frustrated at times. No doubt we are not being officially paid, although I believe my friend will give us a gratuity for helping her out, but if one has made a promise, then one should try the best to keep the promise. Of course sometimes unforeseen circumstances are understandable, but in which case should inform earlier rather than not communicating and waiting for everyone to find out at the last minute. Unless one gets really ill that day, then of course that cannot be helped.
I always believe that if you already made a promise to do something, then do it. If you really cannot, at least have the courtesy to inform as soon as possible. This is not just on the wedding coordination of my friend, but also on a lot of things I have experienced before, with my friends and boyfriends. There are some people who really go all out to keep their promises and even go the extra mile, but there are some who do not bother keeping promises at all.
There are minor promises (which are like a mere meeting up for a meal) or major promises (which the most major can be the pledge of eternity in a marriage vow), but as long as it is a promise, by right, one should try to honour them as best he can. Promises are not to be taken lightly or just cast aside, which is why it is called a "promise" and not just a mere "word".
My ex used to say that minor promises do not matter. But as someone who may need to live with the guy in the future, my opinion as a girlfriend is that if the guy cannot even keep a minor promise and do little things, how can I have the faith and confidence that he can keep a major promise and do something bigger? Then if I have no faith and confidence in him, how can I then promise to stay with him and depend on him as a future head of the house?
My second ex used to get very angry with people who could not keep their promises. He was so against this that even with unforeseen circumstances, he would blow it out of proportion once someone went back on a word. Like when I was supposed to meet his extended family for the first time, I fell ill on that day and told him I could not meet up, and he screamed at me until in the end I still went to meet them despite having flu.
There are people who are more intolerant of promises being broken, so it all depends on how flexible people are. I am of the type that gets frustrated if people do not fulfil what they promised me, but I do understand if there are unforeseen things. I will not scream or lash out, although I will appreciate if people at least let me know if the promise cannot be fulfilled. This is just basic courtesy.
Yesterday evening we met at one of the "sister"'s house to help in making corsages, hand bouquets, car decoration and practising for the songs we will be singing in dedication to the wedding couple. My friend the bride coordinator ran through the entire schedule for us. So by the time we actually finished everything, it was already past midnight.
Actually my friend was only supposed to be the Chinese Master of Ceremonies, but because the original coordinator pulled out, she had to take over everything. So she had to write the speech, organise the procedure, email us the scores, came to my place to use the CD-burner (and in the end wasted her time as my burner malfunctioned) and run through the whole thing with us on what time we bridesmaids are supposed to reach the bride's home, and what time the best men are supposed to pick up the groom.
So since there are so many of us, why was she the one doing everything? The reason being a lot of people who promised to help one by one pulled out at the last minute. As a result, there was a lot of miscommunication and even as at yesterday, a lot of details were still unsettled. If I had known the outcome, I would have helped my friend out since I had coordinated weddings before, but I did not know how messy everything was until Saturday itself, and by then, there was hardly time to really do much.
A lot of things went wrong, like the English Master of Ceremonies pulled out at the last minute, so we had to get another friend to replace, and he only knew of it yesterday. Then some guests are not able to turn up despite confirming, and there will be some empty seats since it is too late to ask anyone else. I really pity the poor bride who must be really stressed up.
Things like this make one very frustrated at times. No doubt we are not being officially paid, although I believe my friend will give us a gratuity for helping her out, but if one has made a promise, then one should try the best to keep the promise. Of course sometimes unforeseen circumstances are understandable, but in which case should inform earlier rather than not communicating and waiting for everyone to find out at the last minute. Unless one gets really ill that day, then of course that cannot be helped.
I always believe that if you already made a promise to do something, then do it. If you really cannot, at least have the courtesy to inform as soon as possible. This is not just on the wedding coordination of my friend, but also on a lot of things I have experienced before, with my friends and boyfriends. There are some people who really go all out to keep their promises and even go the extra mile, but there are some who do not bother keeping promises at all.
There are minor promises (which are like a mere meeting up for a meal) or major promises (which the most major can be the pledge of eternity in a marriage vow), but as long as it is a promise, by right, one should try to honour them as best he can. Promises are not to be taken lightly or just cast aside, which is why it is called a "promise" and not just a mere "word".
My ex used to say that minor promises do not matter. But as someone who may need to live with the guy in the future, my opinion as a girlfriend is that if the guy cannot even keep a minor promise and do little things, how can I have the faith and confidence that he can keep a major promise and do something bigger? Then if I have no faith and confidence in him, how can I then promise to stay with him and depend on him as a future head of the house?
My second ex used to get very angry with people who could not keep their promises. He was so against this that even with unforeseen circumstances, he would blow it out of proportion once someone went back on a word. Like when I was supposed to meet his extended family for the first time, I fell ill on that day and told him I could not meet up, and he screamed at me until in the end I still went to meet them despite having flu.
There are people who are more intolerant of promises being broken, so it all depends on how flexible people are. I am of the type that gets frustrated if people do not fulfil what they promised me, but I do understand if there are unforeseen things. I will not scream or lash out, although I will appreciate if people at least let me know if the promise cannot be fulfilled. This is just basic courtesy.
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