A few weeks back, there was an article in the Sunday Times about cyber bullying. There was a girl who received so many negative remarks based on what she wrote that she became down and traumatised.
Psychologists said that apparently, cyber bullying is the same as physical bullying. Back in school, some students chose to bully others, especially those smaller and weaker than them, as they wanted to make themselves feel good.
A sadistic way of making oneself feel good, in my opinion. But it has been proven that these bullies normally have low self-esteems and feel lousy about themselves, thus resort to belittling others to make themselves feel better.
What a pathetic excuse! I feel lousy about myself all the time! Does that mean I have to resort to put others' down for my own happiness?
Cyber bullying is the same as physical bullying, except now with advanced technology, anyone can just go under a cloak of anonymity in cyberspace and lash out at anyone they please.
To me, physical bullying is an act of cowardice. How brave is a person if he puts others down just so he himself can be happy? But at least physical bullies go right on and take their victims on. They may create a physical fight or quarrel, but at least they do it with a full face and identities.
Cyber bullies are even more cowardly since they choose to put down others, and yet do not dare to let anyone know why they are. For me, you want to do it, you jolly well have nothing to hide.
And it is not because the unfortunate victim has written anything bad or defamatory in the first place, especially not anything to do with the cyber bully. Some people may have just made very innocent remarks, yet have their characters and actions condemend unjustly just like that.
Cyber bullying, per se, is very hard to prove. As long as the victim suffers emotional trauma, that is bullying. But just how emotional is considered as "trauma"?
Some people may just be stronger and go ahead to do whatever they like, and not care hoots about how others view them, no matter how hurtful the remarks can be. Some people will get hurt and be sensitive over the most minor, albeit mean, remarks and feel frustrated and lose sleep over it.
I used to ask why is it some bloggers always get attacked, whereas other bloggers never meet any of these jokers? Is it because those bloggers have nasty content, thus triggering off negative comments and uproar?
But from the blogs I read, most are pretty decent. Nothing offensive whatsoever. Even for myself, I do not think my blog has ever offended anyone, and anyway, why should anyone out of the picture even be offended in the first place? I never use any crude language or vulgarities, insult the government or others' races or religion, or others' friends and families.
The only times I really lash out at people are those who really deserve it for being pushy, presumptuous and trying to be funny in the first place.
But what people want to write in their blogs are their own businesses. I have seen blogs that contain family pictures, blogs that give recipes, blogs on movie and music reviews, blogs based on sex, blogs on general current affairs, and blogs that are like personal journals.
It is interesting indeed to read about others' lives and see how they view things. In this respect, I have learnt a lot and been exposed. There have also been instances where I do not really like what the blogger writes, but then since it does not involve me, I see no reason why I need to kick up a big fuss.
Similarly, if whatever I write has nothing to do with anyone, why do some people get a kick out of getting angry and scolding me left right and centre for the things I have done and how I think, when it is just quintessentially me and really nothing to do with anyone?
If people want me to change in any way, then that will not be me. This is what I am, who I am. Which is what makes me unique from the rest. Everyone has their own uniqueness, so if they are put down just to conform, then they lose their own uniqueness and identities.
To me, my blog is more than a diary. It serves as a personal collection of my memoirs, thoughts and feelings, and accounts during the different stages of my life. Once in a while, I will look back on past entries, laugh at myself for doing silly and idiotic things, and reflect on how my life has gone from there.
Of course I do not expect everyone to agree with how I think and feel. This is just me; I am only one person against the rest of the world. Everyone is free to think whichever way they like. But I normally do not hide anything, unless there is an absolute reason for secrecy.
So if people want to leave comments, do it based on the entry. And read it thoroughly before you even write anything. I do not think it is fair to judge or put down anyone's character or intelligence just based on a couple of sentences without reading through the rest.
If anything, the commentor is the one making a fool of him (her) self by jumping to unnecessary conclusions. In any case, no one has any right to judge or condemn another person because we are all sinners. Only God has the right to do that, but He loves us so much that He forgives any mistake we make, no matter how major.
Honestly, if people are so shallow to just assume things without bothering to find out the truth and come to the conclusion that a particular blogger is stupid and useless, then I wonder why do they even want to read in the first place?
Despite all these, I take it in a positive light. So I told myself, perhaps I am popular enough, which is why there are many who leave their comments? After all, if people are not addicted to my writing, they would not keep coming back.
At least I have readers, and they are concerned for me in some ways, no matter how sadistic some can be, to even react in the first place. And if I can trigger such response, maybe I can make a good journalist after all?
Thus I will not let this make me feel down. I feel down enough about the terrible news I just got to know, so I do not want to feel messed up over this. In fact, I should feel happy. I ever thought of shutting down my blog, or changing to a totally new URL.
But these are not long-term solutions. If I shut down my blog, all my more than eight hundred entries which I have painstakingly posted all these while will be gone. And I cannot keep changing my URL.
So I have decided not to do anything except to just ignore, because letting hurtful remarks affect me and shutting down my blog will only deem those anonymous cowards as winners, and why should I give them the satisfaction?
Hence, my blog is still up, despite being so widely-accessed by all. With this, I leave it for now and go mourn for the two great women with prayers and tears in my eyes.
Psychologists said that apparently, cyber bullying is the same as physical bullying. Back in school, some students chose to bully others, especially those smaller and weaker than them, as they wanted to make themselves feel good.
A sadistic way of making oneself feel good, in my opinion. But it has been proven that these bullies normally have low self-esteems and feel lousy about themselves, thus resort to belittling others to make themselves feel better.
What a pathetic excuse! I feel lousy about myself all the time! Does that mean I have to resort to put others' down for my own happiness?
Cyber bullying is the same as physical bullying, except now with advanced technology, anyone can just go under a cloak of anonymity in cyberspace and lash out at anyone they please.
To me, physical bullying is an act of cowardice. How brave is a person if he puts others down just so he himself can be happy? But at least physical bullies go right on and take their victims on. They may create a physical fight or quarrel, but at least they do it with a full face and identities.
Cyber bullies are even more cowardly since they choose to put down others, and yet do not dare to let anyone know why they are. For me, you want to do it, you jolly well have nothing to hide.
And it is not because the unfortunate victim has written anything bad or defamatory in the first place, especially not anything to do with the cyber bully. Some people may have just made very innocent remarks, yet have their characters and actions condemend unjustly just like that.
Cyber bullying, per se, is very hard to prove. As long as the victim suffers emotional trauma, that is bullying. But just how emotional is considered as "trauma"?
Some people may just be stronger and go ahead to do whatever they like, and not care hoots about how others view them, no matter how hurtful the remarks can be. Some people will get hurt and be sensitive over the most minor, albeit mean, remarks and feel frustrated and lose sleep over it.
I used to ask why is it some bloggers always get attacked, whereas other bloggers never meet any of these jokers? Is it because those bloggers have nasty content, thus triggering off negative comments and uproar?
But from the blogs I read, most are pretty decent. Nothing offensive whatsoever. Even for myself, I do not think my blog has ever offended anyone, and anyway, why should anyone out of the picture even be offended in the first place? I never use any crude language or vulgarities, insult the government or others' races or religion, or others' friends and families.
The only times I really lash out at people are those who really deserve it for being pushy, presumptuous and trying to be funny in the first place.
But what people want to write in their blogs are their own businesses. I have seen blogs that contain family pictures, blogs that give recipes, blogs on movie and music reviews, blogs based on sex, blogs on general current affairs, and blogs that are like personal journals.
It is interesting indeed to read about others' lives and see how they view things. In this respect, I have learnt a lot and been exposed. There have also been instances where I do not really like what the blogger writes, but then since it does not involve me, I see no reason why I need to kick up a big fuss.
Similarly, if whatever I write has nothing to do with anyone, why do some people get a kick out of getting angry and scolding me left right and centre for the things I have done and how I think, when it is just quintessentially me and really nothing to do with anyone?
If people want me to change in any way, then that will not be me. This is what I am, who I am. Which is what makes me unique from the rest. Everyone has their own uniqueness, so if they are put down just to conform, then they lose their own uniqueness and identities.
To me, my blog is more than a diary. It serves as a personal collection of my memoirs, thoughts and feelings, and accounts during the different stages of my life. Once in a while, I will look back on past entries, laugh at myself for doing silly and idiotic things, and reflect on how my life has gone from there.
Of course I do not expect everyone to agree with how I think and feel. This is just me; I am only one person against the rest of the world. Everyone is free to think whichever way they like. But I normally do not hide anything, unless there is an absolute reason for secrecy.
So if people want to leave comments, do it based on the entry. And read it thoroughly before you even write anything. I do not think it is fair to judge or put down anyone's character or intelligence just based on a couple of sentences without reading through the rest.
If anything, the commentor is the one making a fool of him (her) self by jumping to unnecessary conclusions. In any case, no one has any right to judge or condemn another person because we are all sinners. Only God has the right to do that, but He loves us so much that He forgives any mistake we make, no matter how major.
Honestly, if people are so shallow to just assume things without bothering to find out the truth and come to the conclusion that a particular blogger is stupid and useless, then I wonder why do they even want to read in the first place?
Despite all these, I take it in a positive light. So I told myself, perhaps I am popular enough, which is why there are many who leave their comments? After all, if people are not addicted to my writing, they would not keep coming back.
At least I have readers, and they are concerned for me in some ways, no matter how sadistic some can be, to even react in the first place. And if I can trigger such response, maybe I can make a good journalist after all?
Thus I will not let this make me feel down. I feel down enough about the terrible news I just got to know, so I do not want to feel messed up over this. In fact, I should feel happy. I ever thought of shutting down my blog, or changing to a totally new URL.
But these are not long-term solutions. If I shut down my blog, all my more than eight hundred entries which I have painstakingly posted all these while will be gone. And I cannot keep changing my URL.
So I have decided not to do anything except to just ignore, because letting hurtful remarks affect me and shutting down my blog will only deem those anonymous cowards as winners, and why should I give them the satisfaction?
Hence, my blog is still up, despite being so widely-accessed by all. With this, I leave it for now and go mourn for the two great women with prayers and tears in my eyes.
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