I heard or read from somewhere that once a person dies, it is best to just forget about the person. To me, it seems really heartless, because if the person means so much to you, how can you forget so easily and readily and move on so quickly just like that?
But the person who uttered that said if someone is gone, and we hold on, we will only be making ourselves miserable, as there is so much more to life and if we keep pulling back because of someone that no longer exists, we will only be missing out on all the nicer things in life.
Besides, if the deceased is really dear to you, then he / she will not want to see you hurt and upset, and will want you to carry on with your life normally and be happy. Anyone who loves a person will want the person to carry on living life to the fullest.
However, I wonder if the person who said that ever lost someone dear before? To many people, it will sound heartless, although in a certain way, it does make sense.
But if you really love a person, be it a parent, child, relative, friend, spouse, are you really able to let him / her go? When the person is no longer around, you will feel a part of you being torn out. You will wonder why you cannot go in his / her place, let you be the one to die and he / she be the one continue to live on.
When my grandpa passed away, I did not cry. My mum scolded me for being unfilial, but to me, he had suffered for three years so I found it more of a relief that his sufferings had ended and he would finally be in a better place. Now come to think of it, perhaps I was heartless to even think of that.
My cousins passed away when I was even younger, but I cried at their wakes. Now that a dear friend is gone, and I would have gone to her wake if I had known exactly when and where it was, I feel a big sense of loss, that why someone as perfect as her would be cruelly taken away from the people who love her?
Why it could not be me, as I do not think anyone will remember me or mourn for me? She was the one that deserved to live on, I am the one that deserved death for all the sins I have committed, the mistakes I have made, the people I have angered, resulting in making lots of people miserable.
If I cannot even lead a life making others happy, then is it still worth it to even continue living? I may as well be taken away and let someone else who really deserves to live on continue her life.
But the person who uttered that said if someone is gone, and we hold on, we will only be making ourselves miserable, as there is so much more to life and if we keep pulling back because of someone that no longer exists, we will only be missing out on all the nicer things in life.
Besides, if the deceased is really dear to you, then he / she will not want to see you hurt and upset, and will want you to carry on with your life normally and be happy. Anyone who loves a person will want the person to carry on living life to the fullest.
However, I wonder if the person who said that ever lost someone dear before? To many people, it will sound heartless, although in a certain way, it does make sense.
But if you really love a person, be it a parent, child, relative, friend, spouse, are you really able to let him / her go? When the person is no longer around, you will feel a part of you being torn out. You will wonder why you cannot go in his / her place, let you be the one to die and he / she be the one continue to live on.
When my grandpa passed away, I did not cry. My mum scolded me for being unfilial, but to me, he had suffered for three years so I found it more of a relief that his sufferings had ended and he would finally be in a better place. Now come to think of it, perhaps I was heartless to even think of that.
My cousins passed away when I was even younger, but I cried at their wakes. Now that a dear friend is gone, and I would have gone to her wake if I had known exactly when and where it was, I feel a big sense of loss, that why someone as perfect as her would be cruelly taken away from the people who love her?
Why it could not be me, as I do not think anyone will remember me or mourn for me? She was the one that deserved to live on, I am the one that deserved death for all the sins I have committed, the mistakes I have made, the people I have angered, resulting in making lots of people miserable.
If I cannot even lead a life making others happy, then is it still worth it to even continue living? I may as well be taken away and let someone else who really deserves to live on continue her life.
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